Random acts of kindness

beks101

It's amazing how one little act of kindness can make your day. Something as simple as a smile from a stranger, a hand-written note of thanks, a hug on a bad day, an unexpected compliment.

Today, mine came in the form of a little conversation.

I've been having a bit of a tough time getting back into Canadian life since returning from Ireland and have been mentally checked out at work, just a bit homesick and out-of-sorts. Mine wouldn't be the most chatty of work teams and I've just been keeping the head down, just getting on with it, all week.

Today the news director, an incredibly well-liked and respected man in the company, stopped by my desk for a chat. He's a short, well put-together man with a deep tan, thick-rimmed glasses and a permanent smile on his face. He's the sort of guy whose personable, heart-on-his-sleeve nature transcends his professional power and influence - even though he is basically the man running the show.

In the space of a few minutes we went from talking about last night's program and today's lineup, to his deceased mother and the never-ending pain of loss, the purpose of life, death and the importance of 'talking to people...just talking.'

It was an incredibly weird and probably inappropriate conversation to be having in the middle of a newsroom, but he had tears in his eyes, I had tears in my eyes and it's the first time in almost two weeks that I've had a proper, meaningful conversation with anyone at work outside of the mundane. It made me feel human again during a week that I really needed it and it was such an unexpected source of comfort to connect with someone completely unexpectedly like that, that it actually really moved me.

It's got me thinking about how important it is to reach out to others and to be aware of the people around you, to just acknowledge them in some way. From your work colleagues, to the security guard at reception, to strangers on the subway, supermarket check-out attendants, passers-by on the street, the familiar faces in your apartment complex, the not-so-familiar faces on the street. It's so easy to bury your head in the sand, when a little kindness could be the difference between a bad and good day to someone you don't even know.

So, all that cheese aside ...has the kindness of a stranger ever moved you in the same way? Do you have one of those moments stored up in your memory of a time that something trivial from someone unexpected really made a difference to you? Or have you ever made the difference? Do you try to make the difference in your daily life, or was there ever a time that you unexpectedly made someone's day?

Ickle Magoo

I was sent on course by work which I couldn't get out of the day after I found out my mum had breast cancer...which was several years after losing my beloved auntie to the same. I was having trouble focusing and I felt really detached and on the verge of tears - truth be told, I just wanted to run out the door and jump on the first plane home.

I happened to be sitting next to a lady around my mums age who must have sensed there was something up and asked was I okay. I thought it best to be honest and told her the news I'd been given the night before. Amazingly, this lady had been given the same diagnosis as my mum and was now out the other side. She took me for lunch and went through in detail what treatment she'd had, how she'd felt, what she had done, how she wished other people had been, how the operation and subsequent treatment made her feel and how it had affected her family - completely openly and honestly describing everything from pain to fear.

We've never spoken since but I was touched beyond words that she would share such intimate details just to make a stranger feel better and to give me what turned out to be an eerily accurate description of events from my mum's perspective. It not only helped me but enabled me to help my dad and the rest of the family help mum the way she wanted to be helped - without stumbling and fumbling around worrying about saying the wrong thing or being scared to broach the subject.

She really profoundly changed how I am with people - I now see a sad face and smile or see someone struggling with a young child and shopping and stop the car and offer a lift. It's like she gave me the precious gift of a strangers human kindness and I now want to/have pass that gift on...if that makes any sense?

Lillylilly

I don't recall any random acts of kindness towards me, but I try to do it for others often.

I have a condition which means I'm at the doctors A LOT. The receptionist is always so nice to me, really helpful and just a lovely person, so a couple of months ago I brought her in a bunch of flowers and a box of chocolates just to say "thanks".

Other things I do are paying for other people's parking, giving people unused train tickets, complimenting strangers or sometimes if I recieved particularly good customer service, I will contact the manager of the business to tell them how great their staff has been.

It makes me feel great to do it, and also makes the person smile for a while.

RacoonQueen

Posted this in the emotions thread yesterday. Was down in the phoenix park watching and supporting the half marathon yesterday, not allowed to run so was on my bike in my cycling gear. Was absolutely freezing so tried to keep moving while I was watching it. Went up to the finish line on an hour to get a prime position and was shivering like a leaf as I stood there. Someone came up behind me and said ''my friend is running, he'' be finished in about 40 minutes. I saw you shivering, do you want to take his jacket while you're standing there?" Gratefully accepted - yer man was hot I was tempted to ask could I have his instead. :pac:

There's some gentlemen out there. :eek:

Semele

In New York, having the worst holiday in the history of the world: I was in the long drawn out process of breaking up with my ex, we'd grimly pressed on with our plans to travel around America despite practically hating each other and things had just imploded after a massive row. My ex was in an internet cafe, weighing up options for one or both of us booking an early flight home. I was sitting on the street outside, hating NY, trying to read, feeling like sh*t.

A chinese chef popped up out of a trapdoor in the street beside me to take in deliveries, looked at me sitting with tears falling onto my book, went back downstairs and came back with a cardboard box that he bashed out flat and mimed (hadn't a word of English) that I should sit on it to keep my clothes clean and gave me a lovely sympathetic smile. This of course, being the nicest thing anyone had done for me in weeks, caused the floodgates to open completely! The chef stared at me for a while looking concerned, then dashed downstairs again and returned WITH A KITTEN! That he put in my lap, patted my hand in a reassuring sort of "there you go, you've got a kitten now- what more could you possibly need?" way and went back to work. I cried onto the poor cat until it ran back indoors, my ex came back and we carried on slowly breaking up...but that lovely man and his humour and kindness to a pissed off tourist who he didn't even share a language with remains one of the most special memories I have. It was almost worth the whole awful holiday!

beks101

Semele wrote: »

A chinese chef popped up out of a trapdoor in the street beside me to take in deliveries, looked at me sitting with tears falling onto my book, went back downstairs and came back with a cardboard box that he bashed out flat and mimed (hadn't a word of English) that I should sit on it to keep my clothes clean and gave me a lovely sympathetic smile. This of course, being the nicest thing anyone had done for me in weeks, caused the floodgates to open completely! The chef stared at me for a while looking concerned, then dashed downstairs again and returned WITH A KITTEN! That he put in my lap, patted my hand in a reassuring sort of "there you go, you've got a kitten now- what more could you possibly need?" way and went back to work. I cried onto the poor cat until it ran back indoors, my ex came back and we carried on slowly breaking up...but that lovely man and his humour and kindness to a pissed off tourist who he didn't even share a language with remains one of the most special memories I have. It was almost worth the whole awful holiday!

This is the best story ever. A kitten!

I think the underlying theme with these gestures is just someone giving you their time, when they don't know you and really don't have to, and the easiest thing would just be to walk by.

I think I've posted this before, but when I was in Toronto about six months, I was working late one night and after a long, exhausting day I caught the subway home. It was emtpy except for maybe one or two others on the carriage and I was completely spaced out, just staring out the window in a daze.

I looked around the carriage and spotted a little folded slip of paper on the seat across from me. Someone had written and left a note for a stranger to find.



I was so overwhelmed by that little act of kindness and the intention behind it that I've kept that slip of paper in my wallet ever since, and I've never stopped wondering about that person...were they male or female? Young or old? What inspired them to do that?

Last night I framed the note and it's hanging on my bathroom wall. I figure some day I'll 'hand it back', leave it on the subway for someone else to find, but in the mean time I want other people in my life to see it and smile, just like I did when I found it.

Stheno

Not me, but before Obama and the queen came over, there was a homeless person who slept outside the Bank of Ireland opposite Trinity every night, and every morning going past on the bus, there was a lady who would walk up to the homeless person, and put a coffee and a sandwich/roll just beyond their head, but not disturbing them.

It always made me smile to see that effort being made.

The homeless person is no longer there since the Obama/queen visit

bigtuna

I was walking to work early last Monday morning in the middle of the hurricane. A taxi pulled up and offered to bring me to work. He wouldn't take any money and said he just couldn't leave me walking out in that. It was the nicest start to the week I ever had.
If I see people collecting for charity like cancer, depression and not the phoney scams I bring them cups of tea/coffee to keep warm in the wet days. If I see somebody looking nice I will tell them and have been known to go up to strangers and compliment them. My friends think I am slightly mental
I am a big believer in karma.

Isard

beks101 wrote: »

Someone had written and left a note for a stranger to find.

Impressed... It's a good idea, actually, I think I might try something like that;)

Last spring a little boy came up to me in the street, hugged me and cried something like, "It's spring, I'm so happy, be happy too!" He really made my day:)

Eviledna

Just after a small op @ university college hospital Galway and yet again the above-the-call of duty kindness of the staff in there never fails to amaze me. The little hand squeeze as you get a needle, the cheery joking to keep you in good spirits, the incredible attention to detail, despite having tons of other patients. If any of you work in healthcare please know that your acts of kindness are so appreciated by everyone at that vulnerable time!

This thread is really great, there's so much cynicism in the world that it makes me warm inside to think that people still throw off the defined social constraints to be kind. If we all added one extra kindness to others in our day, the gloom around would soon lift, at least a little.

dandelionmind

Really nice thread.

I was standing out in the freezing cold a few weeks ago on D'olier street, waiting for a bus to arrive that could take me home. I'd been working all day and was shattered. As I was waiting, I started counting out change in my wallet, as I hadn't bought a ticket for the Nitelink.

I noticed a guy looking over, then looking away a few times. Eventually, he came over, seeming quite embarrassed and said he'd accidentally bought two tickets for the Nitelink in the shop, instead of one, and handed one of them to me to keep.

I tried to give him 5 euro for it, but he refused. He just insisted I took the ticket said "That's my good deed for the day - Happy Christmas" and off he went.

Made me smile

dammitjanet

A boardsie once made my year. I'd just left my job because it was forcing me into depression and I was completly broke and struggling to make rent/pay bills while I was waiting to sign on.
I was talking in a forum about the best place to buy budget makeup because I was in dire need when I got an email.
This amazing boardsie messaged me saying she's loads of stuff she'd never used and could she send them to me.
I was so moved and couldn't believe her kindness. It was just out of the blue and really got to me.
A week later I got an amazing package of beautiful make up. I was in tears looking through it, I couldn't believe what she had sent me.

Thanks to her I got to keep looking well which kept my confidence up, something I desperatly needed with what I was going through. It was so kind and she never once asked for anything in return. I still think of it today as the nicest thing any stranger has ever done for me.

LegacyUser

I once had to go to the hospital in an area I wasn't familiar with, so I got a cab there. When I was leaving, I realised I had no idea how to get home unless I got another cab, and having paid the hospital fees money was pretty tight. But then a nurse came over to me and asked me if I knew where to go to pick up my prescription; when I said no she ordered a driver for me to take me there, and to then take me to the nearest station that would get me on a straight line home. It was a good distance away, and I assumed I'd be paying the fare, but it turns out the hospital had covered it for me. I'd had such a bad day that I nearly burst into tears on the spot at that one little bit of kindness. They didn't even know me.

That one little thing really meant the world to me. I'll never forget it.

Isard

I had my birthday the other day and my former teacher came to congratulate me. I was surprised and truly moved. She has to deal with dozens of students yet she remembered the date and found time to come. Amazing woman, missing her so

Kablamo!

About 3 weeks ago, I was driving to work and when I tried to park in a tight space because I was running late for work and panicking.
I snapped the wing mirror off one side, and scratched the other side, and in tears I reversed out of the space and turned my engine off and started crying.
A few minutes later, a man in his late sixties came running over to the car, so I rolled down my window.
I had been sitting silently in shock, but when he asked was I okay I started ROARING crying. Couldn't even get a word out.
He tried for about five minutes to get my mirror back into shape, all the while reassuring me that "it's only a bit of metal love, you can get a new mirror, but you can't get a new you".
Once my mirror was reattached and I'd stopped crying, he offered to park my car and walk me to work, I told him I was alright and he disappeared into the maze of cars.

In all my fussing, I never thought to get his name or number. I'd love to thank him because his kindness really, REALLY meant the world to me. If anyone here knows someone who helped a young girl in Ballally Luas carpark on the 2nd of September, I am eternally grateful.

Chinafoot

When I was 17 and going out with my first boyfriend (not a great relationship) I had a little health scare. I made a doctors appointment in the city centre and asked my boyfriend to come with me as I was so scared. He was too busy.

I was early for my appointment and was sat outside the clinic on a bench trying to psyche myself up to go in. I was terrified of what was going to happen and I got really upset. I sat there crying silently, with my head down hoping nobody would look at me, when someone sat next to me on the bench. It was a bloke in his mid-twenties who said, really quietly, "are you ok?" I just nodded. He pointed at the clinic and said "do you have to go in there?". I nodded. He said "do you want to talk about it?". I shook my head. He said "Ok. See that cafe across the road? I'm going to go in there and read my book for a while. If you want to talk when its over, come and find me." I nodded and he gave me a little squeeze on my arm and the kindest look and he strolled across the road.

I didn't go looking for him after my appointment as I was just upset by the whole thing and felt embarrassed. But I was so thankful for his kindness. It also showed me what an utter weasel my ex was It was 11 years ago and I've never forgotten it. I just wish I told him how much I appreciated it.

chocolate_cat

Someone i used to work with but didnt really know said hello to me on facebook. Sounds silly but i cried, it has still been the nicest thing anyone has done or said to me since the summer.

The Big Red Button

This evening, I was meeting a friend for a few drinks. I passed a pretty destitute looking young man on the way, so I popped into an obriens to get him a hot sandwich and a cup of tea. When I happened to mention to the fella in the shop that it was for a homeless guy, he gave me a few slices of pizza to go with it.

As it happened, the young guy was gone when I got out. I found an old man to give the tea and sandwich and pizza to, and he was only a sweetheart! His name was Richard, we had a good chat. Poor fella told me that he had been feeling so weak and dizzy with hunger before I asked him if he was hungry, he said he felt he was on the verge of passing out. He said that I must be his angel! He was ever so lovely, he really was.

Its not an act of kindness, doing something like that. Because, believe me, the way I felt walking away from Richard was worth a hell of a lot more than anything than I could have spent that few euro on otherwise! He was an absolute gent and it was my pleasure to meet with him.

OkayWhatever

Woke up and found a note from my sister saying she took 3 euro of my money! Grand, No problem!

Went to buy my bus ticket in the shop for €16.50 when I realized she actually took about a tenner! :mad:

I have problems with my knees so it's very painful to walk sometimes, so, devastated I told them I didn't have enough money and put what I had back in my purse and walked out and up the road home.

Few minutes later I felt a tap on my shoulder and a woman handed me a bus ticket. After her insisting I take it for about 5 minutes I took it, said thank you about 50 times and insisting she took my €6 (which she didn't) , and watched her just walk off as if it was part of her daily routine.

The actual pure generosity and kindness!Made my entire weekend.

Catari Jaguar

Myself & boyf had just arrived in Paris and were tired and cranky and confused. No-one was helpful, all so snooty and wouldn't speak to us in English. It took us ages to find the transfer train and correct platform at the airport (we're a little slow...) I got on the train and just before doors closed, I realised I didn't have my bag so I leaped off onto the platform, this gorgeous French dude just handed it out to me and smiled. I actually burst into tears - it had our passports, directions, wallets, flight & hotel info. I was never so relieved or grateful in my life. Bless him, just as I had lost all hope in the humanity of Parisiens.

OkayWhatever

cherub rock wrote: »

Myself & boyf had just arrived in Paris and were tired and cranky and confused. No-one was helpful, all so snooty and wouldn't speak to us in English. It took us ages to find the transfer train and correct platform at the airport (we're a little slow...) I got on the train and just before doors closed, I realised I didn't have my bag so I leaped off onto the platform, this gorgeous French dude just handed it out to me and smiled. I actually burst into tears - it had our passports, directions, wallets, flight & hotel info. I was never so relieved or grateful in my life. Bless him, just as I had lost all hope in the humanity of Parisiens.

Completely necessary adjective ! :P

Eve_Dublin

Most people are decent. I believe that 100%. People are just doing the best they can in the best way they know how.

Travelled around South America on my own for 11 months and most of the time it was fantastic and I'd no problems but sometimes I felt extreme loneliness and felt nauseus with homesick but thanks to the kindness of people I encountered from there, I'll always believe what I wrote above.

One particular story stands out in my head. Was talking a bus from Santiago in Chile across the Peruvian border for the 2nd time (not a great one for itineraries and planning) and it was a long, lonely bus ride up. Sometimes I did these trips with others, sometimes not. This time I was on my own. Anyway, a little middle-aged woman next to me started to talk to me. My Spanish was pretty basic back then but we communicated and chatted about family, where I was from, Peru. She couldn't believe I was 28 and travelling on my own (and not married with kids) and pitied me. She decided to take me under her wing 'till we got to Peru. Turns out she was travelling with a whole gaggle of women and herself and her friends fed and watered me (these women were obviously poor), helped me with the bureaucracy crossing the border and when we got to the station to get my bus to transfer, they brought me to the ticket office to get my ticket and they all stayed with me 'till my bus arrived and gave me hugs and kisses when I headed off. I'd been travelling 8 months at that stage and was used to it and turned into a bit of a tough ass at that stage but it was just so lovely a bunch of surrogate mothers take care of you for a little while like that and it brought my guard down for a while and I sobbed as I waved goodbye...

This kind of thing happened all the time over there. I'll never doubt that humans are essentially decent after that trip.

R.D. aka MR.D

I lived in Buenos Aires for a year. One night during the bicentenary celebrations my ex and I got very drunk and he disappeared. We had said earlier if we got separated to meet at a spot.(we had no phones etc). I didn't have one peso on me but i went to that spot in the vain hope he would show up. I was there in the cold for about 2 hours when these two carteros (the people who collect rubbish to try to get money to eat, the poorest of the poor.) came up to me. they were a middle aged bolivian couple. The wife was so worried about me and asked me what had happened and tried to offer me food and share what they had. She was almost in tears with the worry for me and because i was crying. They were so good to me, and were willing to help me even though they had nothing.

I still get a tear in my eye when i think about it because it was such a pure act of kindness. The people who the Argentineans show so little kindness for, its difficult to describe the kind of life these people live and yet they were willing to be so kind to me.

Ilyana

A few months ago, I was in the gym changing room after a swim. I noticed this woman walking around in her swimsuit looking all disorientated; she'd sit in a toilet cubicle looking like she was going to be sick or pass out.

I was a bit worried about her, so I asked her if she was okay. She said she was, that she'd just pushed herself a bit too much in an aerobics class, and then went into the steam room afterwards. I could tell she wasn't right at all, so I went out to reception and asked for some water for her. One of the girls working there came in with me to look after the lady, as I was scared she'd pass out and hit her head or something.

She was grand thankfully!

I know it's not much and I do sound like I'm blowing my own trumpet, but I know if the same happened to me I'd appreciate someone taking notice and helping out

Lola92

I was on a bus recently on the way back from visiting my parents with my daughter, who was 7 months old at the time. The bus was fairly full and I wasn't able to get two seats together, so had to hold my daughter on my knee. I had had to wake her up to take her out of her buggy and she wasn't in the best of form. After about half an hour she started to get very restless and was crying. As you can probably imagine it is not easy to make up a bottle while holding a fidgety baby in your lap in a cramped seat and I was struggling quite a bit, almost on the verge of tears.

An amazing woman sitting in the seat opposite mine offered to take her for a moment so I could get myself gathered and do up her bottle. She then got up and herself and her partner moved to seperate seats a few rows apart so that I could sit beside my daughter and have a bit more space, which made things so much easier.

Something small in the scheme of things but something that I really appreciated, the kindness of that stranger has stayed with me since.

Eve_Dublin

This is a great thread. Nice one, Beks!

rebel10

Two different acts from strangers that have cheered me up in the past.:)

Travelled to L.A. once, while on my J1, on my own to meet up with my then boyfriend who was flying in for a few hours from where he was doing his J1. Meant spending 6 hours with him after a day of travelling on the Greyhound and another day travelling back. Remember leaving him at the airport, travelling back to the bus station in downtown L.A. and just feeling so miserable from lack of sleep and missing him. Was sitting there, waiting for about 8 hours for my bus to leave. This guy comes walking up to me and just starts chatting. He told me everything about himself and I told him things about me. After hours of chatting, we get on our bus, same one, and he asked me if it would be ok for me to sit next to him and we take turn sleeping while we watched each others stuff for the 14 hour journey. It was nothing, but it was just so nice to know you were being minded.

Last year, was on my way home from the gym, just after a spinning session, feeling repulsive.:o Stuck in traffic. Next thing a car pulls up to the lane next to me, maybe about three guys in the car, they motion to me to pull down my window. The passenger then says to me, " I hope you know you are beautiful," then starts blasting Adele's song "Someone Like You" at me before driving off. Just cheered me up and put a smile on my face.:o

Rubberlegs

This thread is lovely, I've tears in my eyes reading it:)

Around this time last year things were horrible, my Dad was dying, and I just wasn't on the planet at all. For some reason I could never unlock the petrol cap on my car. I dreaded having to go and get petrol incase I'd hold up the whole place like an eejit. I was used to having Dad take over, he'd open it and tell me not to bother to lock it again:o. I was in the car park at the supermarket, and having realised I'd locked the cap by mistake, decided to try to open it there, rather than at the garage. A middle aged man came over to me on seeing me struggling, and took over completely just like Dad would. He explained to me the one little thing I was doing wrong, and stood there with me till he saw me lock and unlock it several times. Then he went on his way. It meant so much to me at such a rotten time, I'll never forget that man's help.

dandelionmind

This isn't something I experienced first hand, but something a good friend did for someone else. He'd probably be mortified to know I'm sharing the story, but I think it's a good one, if slightly obscure...

One night a couple of months ago, he was out with some friends in town for pints. After a few hours, they went their separate ways and he started walking towards Christchurch to get a taxi home.

On his way up, he was stopped by a girl with a backpack on, holding a map. She had no idea where she was. She'd literally just arrived in Dublin, following a rash decision to book a flight and leave her hometown (In Germany, I think), in order to travel 'round Ireland.

She asked him for help finding a hostel, as she hadn't booked anywhere to stay. He got out his phone to help her, browsed several places online all of which were full (as it was stupid o'clock in the morning) They then found a few that had vacancies, but were in dodgy parts of the city.

He had a spare room in his apartment at the time, so, rather than simply give her directions to one of the hostels that had space, he offered her a bed for the night. He obviously had no idea who she was, yet had the compassion to offer up what he had, on the basis that he himself wouldn't have liked to be in that kind of position.

So, he arranged a taxi home, set up his spare bedroom for her, made her breakfast in the morning and then drove her back in to town so she could get a bus to Galway, for part of her tour.

I think it's quite admirable he went to such lengths for a total stranger. A definite good guy. They didn't stay in touch, but I'd imagine she has good memories of Ireland, having had such a kind encounter.