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A comedian's entire act summed up into one sentence.

FinnLizzy · 2011-09-14 12:26:48

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056387479 Very much the same idea as music version only with comedians (crap ones mainly). Tommy Tiernan: "SHOUT SHOUT, JUMP UP AND DOWN, PUT ON STUPID REGIONAL ACCENT, MAKE STUPID OVER USED IRISH JOKES" Lee Evans: "You know how, like, you're with your wife and you're all…

14-09-2011 12:26pm

#1

FinnLizzy

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http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056387479

Very much the same idea as music version only with comedians (crap ones mainly).

Tommy Tiernan: "SHOUT SHOUT, JUMP UP AND DOWN, PUT ON STUPID REGIONAL ACCENT, MAKE STUPID OVER USED IRISH JOKES"

Lee Evans: "You know how, like, you're with your wife and you're all like *few mins of stupid sound effects, slapstick and putrid sweating*"

Anyone else want to sum up a comedian's entire act into one sentence?

20

Comments

#2 14-09-2011 12:29pm

df1985

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Dara o Briain:

ehhhhhhhhh........ehhhhhhhhh...ehhhhhhh

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#3 14-09-2011 12:30pm

sbsquarepants

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Brendan O'Carroll - "i'm a wanker"

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#4 14-09-2011 12:30pm

YFlyer

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Karl Spain

****e

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#5 14-09-2011 12:31pm

Welsh Megaman

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Peter Kay:

''Anybody remember (insert 70's/80's fad/tv programme)? What was all that about?''

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#6 14-09-2011 12:31pm

[Deleted User]
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Tommy Tiernan:

Black people look funny while they run.

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#7 14-09-2011 12:31pm

Jimmy Bottlehead

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Any female comedian: "So I got my period last month, yeah..."

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#8 14-09-2011 12:32pm

ballsymchugh

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sarah millican - i can joke about it cos i'm fat. cake please.

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#9 14-09-2011 12:32pm

MagicMarker

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Joe Brand: I'm fat.

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#10 14-09-2011 12:32pm

Sky King

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Des Bishop:

Irish people are like THIS and, well Americans are more like THAT!

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#11 14-09-2011 12:33pm

Standard Toaster

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Jimmy Carr:

<insert 9/11 joke>

Frankie Boyle.:

<insert abortion joke>

Billy Connelly:

<Go off on a tangent mid joke/pinchline only to return to it 10mins later>

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#12 14-09-2011 12:33pm

[Deleted User]
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Alan Davies:

My curly hair looks a little bit funny if i wiggle my head a bit.

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#13 14-09-2011 12:33pm

Colmo52

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Frankie Boyle

say cûnt a lot.

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#14 14-09-2011 12:34pm

W.Shakes-Beer

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Al Murray

"Beautiful British pork scratchings to fuel me beer belly and slap head"

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#15 14-09-2011 12:35pm

FetchTheGin

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Jo Brand: <Insert husband/fat/period joke here>

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#16 14-09-2011 12:36pm

MagicMarker

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Chris Rock: Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people Black people black people.

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#17 14-09-2011 12:36pm

FetchTheGin

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ballsymchugh wrote: »

sarah millican - i can joke about it cos i'm fat. cake please.

How did this awful woman get to be as popular as she is?!

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#18 14-09-2011 12:36pm

stovelid

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Jo Brand: I honestly don't care if you don't want to shag me as I actually like cake.

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#19 14-09-2011 12:37pm

[Deleted User]
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Jack Dee:

Stuff sorta tends to gets me miffed.

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#20 14-09-2011 12:38pm

chin_grin

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Jimmy Carr.

Monotone diatribe on why you suck and why he's better than you.

Alan Carr.

<squeak squeal I'M A STEREOTYPICAL GAY MAN tee hee hee>

Frankie Boyle.

Oooh I'll say something risque and everyone will love me for it.

Michael McIntyre.

Laugh at my floppy hair. Do it!

Russel Brand.

A child molester tying to convince himself, to molest himself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdByz1AsHT4

Apart from the amazing Stewart Lee, I f*cking hate each of these c*nts.

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#21 14-09-2011 12:39pm

FetchTheGin

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Michael McIntyre: "I will wave my hair around in circles and run randomly around the stage with my taking shit face on".

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#22 14-09-2011 12:39pm

ballsymchugh

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FetchTheGin wrote: »

How did this awful woman get to be as popular as she is?!

apparently people in her counselling group used to laugh at her when she told her sad stories about her break up.

anyway,

jason byrne. tries to make retarded noises without realising they're completely natural to him.

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#23 14-09-2011 12:40pm

W.Shakes-Beer

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Bill Bailey

"Insert music to get attention, then rabble on, confusing everybody and boring them to death about mythology and tales of acid trips, insert more music and sound effects to lift spirits"

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#24 14-09-2011 12:42pm

Big Nasty

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Dave McSavage

- CLINT!

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#25 14-09-2011 12:43pm

FinnLizzy

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Justin Lee Collins: "Ooo Arr, so my family are all like........(continue going on about family friendly comedy)

Carlos Mencia: *insert other comedian's joke* *add latino accent*

Russel Howard: "I'm young and here's a load of references to cartoons from the 80s"

0
#26 14-09-2011 12:44pm

Latchy

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Ricky Gervais...

'' I'm so up myself that it doesn't matter how much of a prat I make of myself on stage ,people will still always adore me '' .

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#27 14-09-2011 12:45pm

foxyboxer

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Hugh Dennis - "Are you paying too much for your car insurance?"

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#28 14-09-2011 12:45pm

Dord

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Jack Dee - monotone sentence about being old and having a family

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#29 14-09-2011 12:46pm

W.Shakes-Beer

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Lenny Henry

"I'm not that chef from Ready Steady Cook"

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#30 14-09-2011 12:46pm

Colmo52

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Latchy wrote: »

Ricky Gervais...

'' I'm so up myself that it doesn't matter how much of a prat I make of myself on stage ,people will still always adore me '' .

Karl has a head like a fücking orange/football/other round objects.

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#31 14-09-2011 12:46pm

St.Spodo

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Alan Carr: Ooh, I'm gay.

Russell Howard: Wouldn't it be funny to tickle a badger?

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#32 14-09-2011 12:46pm

Lollipops23

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MCMLXXV wrote: »

Dave McSavage

Dave McSavage:
"I'm not remotely funny so I'll start insulting random strangers to desperately try and get laughs!"

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#33 14-09-2011 12:47pm

Aldebaran

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Jerry Seinfeld - What's the deal with that thing that everybody does?

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#34 14-09-2011 12:47pm

sunflower27

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Des Bishop: 'You know, in the States...'

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#35 14-09-2011 12:48pm

Cherry_Cola

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Andy Parsons - I'm gonna draw out all my sentences in my annoying voice prolonging the increasingly obvious punchline that is about to occur.

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#36 14-09-2011 12:48pm

Lollipops23

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Frankie Boyle
"I can't think of anything intelligently funny so I'll go for the shock value and pray people see the funny side....woops, they didn't"

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#37 14-09-2011 12:49pm

smash

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Stewart Lee: Take 20 mins to say what should have been said in 5.

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#38 14-09-2011 12:49pm

abouttobebanned

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Dara o Brien

"eh"

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#39 14-09-2011 12:50pm

jackie1974

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Joan Rivers

Im rude, obnoxious and look like the plastic surgeon went psycho with the scalpel but I can say what I like coz im a comedienne and i'll make a f*cking show of you if you dare object.

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#40 14-09-2011 12:52pm

Latchy

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smash wrote: »

Stewart Lee: Take 20 mins to say what should have been said in 5.

Reminds me of a relation of mine ...fook me , I do a Houdini when I see him coming .:D

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#41 14-09-2011 12:53pm

sunflower27

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jackie1974 wrote: »

Joan Rivers

Im rude, obnoxious and look like the plastic surgeon went psycho with the scalpel but I can say what I like coz im a comedienne and i'll make a f*cking show of you if you dare object.

Oh, and how did you get so rich? :rolleyes:

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#42 14-09-2011 12:54pm

pickarooney

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This thread needs to be booed off stage.

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#43 14-09-2011 12:54pm

smash

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Ed Byrne: ...

actually just shoot me please before I have to listen to him.

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#44 14-09-2011 12:56pm

FinnLizzy

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Cherry_Cola wrote: »

Andy Parsons - I'm gonna draw out all my sentences in my annoying voice prolonging the increasingly obvious punchline that is about to occur.

And add a British regional stereotype that no one knows exist.
"...well, if you were living in Kent, you wouldn't notice any difference!"

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#45 14-09-2011 12:56pm

Sky King

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Lollipops23 wrote: »

Dave McSavage:
"I'm not remotely funny so I'll start insulting random strangers to desperately try and get laughs!"

And stealing other people's jokes.

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#46 14-09-2011 12:58pm

FinnLizzy

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smash wrote: »

Ed Byrne: ...

actually just shoot me please before I have to listen to him.

I like Ed Byrne, but his latest DVD just featured about 40 mins of him going on about his wife and wedding planning.

I don't think comedians should get married, it'll bring comedy back into the 60s "...ha, reminds me of my wife, toots!"

0
#47 14-09-2011 1:03pm

endabob1

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Has he stopped doing the Ironic gag at last :eek:

I seen him almost 10 years apart and 50% of the set was probably the same

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#48 14-09-2011 1:04pm

suarez9

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If i wanted to listen to a clown i would have gone to a circus!

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#49 14-09-2011 1:04pm

jackie1974

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sunflower27 wrote: »

Oh, and how did you get so rich? :rolleyes:

Books, films, plays, sued a few people, married a few rich husbands, whats your point ?

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#50 14-09-2011 1:05pm

Dubh Geannain

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Ross Noble: Pixies

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#51 14-09-2011 1:07pm

youtube!

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well i cannot contribute anything to this thread other than to say that it has brought home to me in stark reality just how much i hate almost all of the above so called comedians, thanx for that.

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