Dating after moving in together

LegacyUser

I recently moved in with my boyfriend. We've been together for two years so felt the time was right. While we were going out we used to go out about three times a week, pub, club, movie, dinner. weekends away.
Since we moved in together we've moved into the 'comfort zone' where one us cooks and we sit in and watch tv. We have separate friends and socialise with them but I miss doing those things together.So I'm going to make a serious effort to keep 'dating' part of our routine. Ladies did moving in with your partner you like this? How often do you and your OH go out? Do you incorporate each other friends more into nights out as opposed to going out alone?

erydo

I would love if my bf would agree about having a "date" night. We've been living together since jan and laughs when i suggest it saying sure we're always together and always see each other. wish he'd understand it from my point of view, being together is not the same as doing stuff together, we used be great for doing things....it's been getting me really down lately....:(

LegacyUser

erydo wrote: »

I would love if my bf would agree about having a "date" night. We've been living together since jan and laughs when i suggest it saying sure we're always together and always see each other. wish he'd understand it from my point of view, being together is not the same as doing stuff together, we used be great for doing things....it's been getting me really down lately....:(

I feel exactly like you Erydo. I know I see my bf all the time but it's not the same as going out. I miss our dates and getting dressed up to go out. Especially after a long week it's nice to go out. I went on a girls night out last night but I do miss us doing those things as a couple.

Catari Jaguar

We do this, it really is necessary for a healthy relationship and keeping the spark and the fun imo

krudler

erydo wrote: »

I would love if my bf would agree about having a "date" night. We've been living together since jan and laughs when i suggest it saying sure we're always together and always see each other. wish he'd understand it from my point of view, being together is not the same as doing stuff together, we used be great for doing things....it's been getting me really down lately....:(

tell him then, sitting on the couch is not quality time together, well sometimes it can be but if its just force of habit you need to find something else to do, hell even a walk or a drive somewhere, or nowhere, just to enjoy each others company instead of sitting there silently watching the tv.

ElleEm

Myself and my partner have always kept date night and days as part of our relationship. It's so important.
When things are tight, money wise, we still do romantic things to keep the spark... like we'll make a candlelit dinner and get dressed up, in different rooms to sit at the dinner table.

If you make this a habit, I think your relationship will stay strong.

LeeHoffmann

You do need to get out and away from life (the house, the tv, the bills, work, children if you have any) on a regular basis to keep the romance alive. It's so easy to fall into a slump and park yourselves in front of the tv, especially when you're tired. Like others have said, you don't have to do something wild or expensive...just get out of the house. Go for a walk on the beach, go for a drive and listen to your favourite music together, go for a milkshake at Eddie Rocket's at 1am, whatever floats your boat. Otherwise, you won't feel fully alive or fulfilled in your relationship. You really need to keep having fun together. We all get this though so don't feel like you're the only one. One last tip - don't get into the habit of eating dinner in front of the TV. It's fun at first but it can be a slippery slope. Take care

Azureus

Date night is ridiculously important imo-its one of the things I look forward to most! Ive lived with my OH for 3 years and at the start we did date night (something like the cinema / a meal / drinks out ) once a week. Obviously as with most people, money is a lot tighter now so this was cut but we still make a concious effort to do something along those lines once a month and go for regular walks / window shopping trips etc. You have to see eachother as indivudual people and keep up the effort in my opinion-then the days lazing on the couch with takeaway/pot noodle will even feel special rather than mundane and boring.

bronte

One of the things about living together is that you tend to fall into routines and patterns and I can't stand predictable crap like that! It's definitely worth making the effort to have days/nights out regularly and quality time with each other away from the usual stresses and whatnot.

nicechick!

susan111 wrote: »

I recently moved in with my boyfriend. We've been together for two years so felt the time was right. While we were going out we used to go out about three times a week, pub, club, movie, dinner. weekends away.
Since we moved in together we've moved into the 'comfort zone' where one us cooks and we sit in and watch tv. We have separate friends and socialise with them but I miss doing those things together.So I'm going to make a serious effort to keep 'dating' part of our routine. Ladies did moving in with your partner you like this? How often do you and your OH go out? Do you incorporate each other friends more into nights out as opposed to going out alone?

I can't say this ever happened we'd both so busy the evening filled with our separate interests etc but we did spend every Sunday together and out of the house and just go for a walk, lunch/dinner or cinema etc so it was important

Jimmy Two Times

cherub rock wrote: »

We do this, it really is necessary for a healthy relationship and keeping the spark and the fun imo

Married over 22 years and still doing it.

Very lucky with babysitters in the early years and don't need them any more but made it a priority to get out as often as we could. Found that the high stool in the local was the only time we got time to chat about stuff as we're both so busy the rest of the time .

CathyMoran

We had meals out once/twice a week, cinema, holidays and went out mainly as a couple but sometimes individually until we started trying for our children - in the past 2 years we have only been on one date. We are aware of that though and are tryng to make time again but babysitting is expensive especially as our children are under 18 months. We are hoping to have our second family holiday soon (the first one for our 3 month old).

beertons

Oh yes, date nights are class. We started them about 6 months ago. I'd pick something to do first, then 2 weeks later mrs beertons would. Great craic, went brewing beer one day, her idea. My idea's were mainly lunch or dinner orientated. Next date night is at the Coombe!

Oh yeah, we're married a year too. Sitting on the couch, watching the telly is ok for the winter month. Get up and get out for the spring/summer though.
And we're due tomorrow.

Abi

CathyMoran wrote: »

We had meals out once/twice a week, cinema, holidays and went out mainly as a couple but sometimes individually until we started trying for our children - in the past 2 years we have only been on one date. We are aware of that though and are tryng to make time again but babysitting is expensive especially as our children are under 18 months. We are hoping to have our second family holiday soon (the first one for our 3 month old).

The kiddies are still very young Cathy, I'd say it's an effort to get 5 minutes to yourself let alone for each other! Is splitting them up between two different family members an option? I know it seems like a lot of fuss, but you guys probably need a good night out at this stage

BrookieD

Living together 10 years and married 5 with 2 kids, 8 and 2, Date night is very important and something we started early this year.

Last weekend was Batman Live in the o2 , next is my choice, ( messing its her choice really ;-) would love the beer brewing though, good to have a laugh.

We are luck in that her family take the kids for the night, my family live in the UK so not an option there but Mrs Brookied is not keen on babysitters so it can only happen when family are free.

starlit

Isn't it better to know each other's habits! I have not had a boyfriend I have moved in with so haven't had that experience yet but from having shared a place with family, friends and previous flatmates. It's hard. Though you might want your space and independence you can still have that but routines are routines you can't change that like but its better to find out if ye can get on well living together. Ye find out more about each other and get to know each other's habits. You know if you want to spend the rest of your lives together and be compatible before marriage and so on.

What be good about it is that ye get to learn something new about each other every day! Just a matter of keeping the spark alive along with the hum drum of life!

It's not taboo any more like it was 10 years ago. If it feels right move in together after dating though I would still think you really need to trust and know your partner be secure enough in the relationship and be together a lot longer than a few weeks maybe a few months to a year say would be the right time to think about moving in together. Just get used to the whole dating getting to know each other and enjoy that much before moving in together as it be heard at first best to get all the nitty gritty out of the way first before moving in together, you wouldn't want to rush into it too soon OP.

Best of luck OP

eyescreamcone

As a recently married guy I must admit that I love the date nights.
Some at home and some out (cinema, pub, restaurant etc)
Sometimes we go out with friends to the pub.
However, we notice that married friends with kids don't bring both partners anymore.
This seems crazy to me as I wouldn't want to go out without my wife EVERY week.