Recovery from Bulimia

Newbie100

I just thought i'd post to encourage all those who are trying to get through an eating disorder. Over the years i've suffered from bulimia, everything suffered, my relationship, my friends, my social life, everything came second to food. If i started the day badly i'd figure there was no way back and would focus on getting myself on my own so i could consume as much food as possible and make myself sick so that the start of the day was irrelevant since nothing i'd eaten after that stayed in my stomach.

I'd read all the self help guides - well not all but lots - and joined forums where people were developing horrible illnesses like throat cancer that were totally avoidable. Did it help? - short term yes but then i'd be consumed with the urge to purge and all the common sense went out the window.

I know it was a personal thing for me but if it helps someone else then i'd be delighted. The change came when i found exercise i enjoyed, for me it was bootcamp. At the start i realised if i'd purged i hadn't enough energy to get through the class so would work my days around it, after a while i realised that even purging a day or two beforehand were affecting me. I managed to stop for a couple of weeks with maybe just a purge at the weekend, and discovered that it was having an effect. After a month or so of bootcamp without purging, i'd started to tone up and my clothes felt looser. After years of purging i'd never had this effect so it encouraged me to carry on.

Bottom line - and i hope i'm not coming across as i've conquered it and i'm smug since i know bulimia is still hovering round the corner ready to drag me back in and i could be back there in the morning. Finally though i feel like I have control, those of you in the grips of an eating disorder will exactly what i mean, the overwhelming feeling of losing control to the point where everything other than the next binge/purge is irrelevant. I hate to not be able to go to bootcamp or go for a jog and purging means i can't do that.

I've done 5 and 10k's and am loving it. Best of all i went on holidays during the summer, ate and drank loads, had a ball, but walked and swam every day and lost weight despite the huge croissants for breakfast

I know everyone is different but for me exercise is my new addiction - sometimes i still get that feeling when i've over indulged and my first reaction is to continue eating and purge. Intead i realise i want to get up and go for a run/walk next morning and can't do that if i puke.

I've had one or two relapses in the last year but overall i feel like i finally have control and have lost a stone and a half and 2 dress sizes - i'm finally able to pose for a photograph without wincing I should add that through all the years of binging/purging I lost nothing and felt like crap!

It won't be everyone's solution but as the cliche goes if i can do it anyone can x

I posted in the hopes of helping someone else who's in the same horrible cycle i was in to realise that it's not hopeless, you can conquer it and there is light at the end of the tunnel - it's not easy but it is doable xx

Andromeda_111

Well done OP, you're on the right road for sure. It must have been a really difficult number of years for you while suffering with your eating disorder. At least now you are getting in control in a positive way. I hope it lasts for you as I'm sure it will.

bangbang3

Great post! Can't figure out how to thank it, but thanks Well done and I hope it continues. It's good to hear from someone who's been through it and can give advice from experience!