When is the last time ye were at a wedding?

Broads.ie

Well believe it or not, the first ever wedding I attended was last week, at the tender age of 25. (thankfully my immediate and extended family are a bunch of heathens so I never suffered the horror before now.)

It was the wedding of a very good friend and I really had to go.

But by-jaysus... it is really the most boring, most cultist thing you could imagine. Never ending songs shrieked by an auld wan into a microphone with a cheap Yamaha keyboard, singing chart hits such as "Ave Maria" and other great numbers.

Then there was the constant kneeling down, then standing, then kneeling, then kneel for a bit longer, then standing.... (I never knelt by the way) then comes the holy bread, during which I went out for a fag, and in fact when I was scooting out through the aisle I purposefully farted in my friends face...

The priest was non stop talking about the sanctity of this and that, and how this friendship between man and woman was only possible due to god, and that everybody is united under god, and praise be to Mary because we are not worthy, and we have sinned, and we need forgiveness... Then more endless praise of Jesus and a few recitals of the gospel... THERE WAS ALMOST NOTHING MENTIONED ABOUT MY FRIEND AND HIS WIFE!!!


Jaysus it was a head-wreck.

I'm not really sure there's a point to this post but feck I need somebody else to tell me that it is all a load of shite. This is kind of like my rehab. I literally felt like I was one of those extreme journalists given exclusive access to the processions of a crazy cult.

The pints afterwards were great though.

eoin5

I was at my godchilds confirmation and the bishop kept spouting nonsense about how we've all lost our morality. Hard to take to be honest.

MagicMarker

Never been to a church wedding thankfully. If I ever do I'll stand at the back stick in some earphones.

Penn

eoin5 wrote: »

I was at my godchilds confirmation and the bishop kept spouting nonsense about how we've all lost our morality. Hard to take to be honest.

Few years ago, my parents were having a Mass for their 25th anniversary. My granduncle was a priest who performed the wedding, so my sister and her boyfriend went to collect him for the Mass. On the way there, my sister asked him if he would bless the house she and her boyfriend just bought. Fr.Granduncle didn't like that. Started giving out to them for living in sin, told them they're not allowed to receive communion at the Mass etc etc.

When they arrived at the church, my sister told my mother what happened. Obviously, my mother was upset at this. During the Mass after the Gospel, the priest started talking about young people nowadays not living in accordance with the Bible, all this craic. A Mass for my parents wedding anniversary and he's talking about the state of young people nowadays. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't even listening and had no idea what he was talking about. My mother was crying, my sister was holding back tears. I hadn't a notion what was going on. He was supposed to stay for a meal afterwards but my uncle drove him home. It was only at the meal that I heard about what happened.

So basically, regardless of whether it's a wedding, or even just a mass for people close to me, I just sit there and pay no attention to anything that's going on.

robindch

eoin5 wrote: »

I was at my godchilds confirmation and the bishop kept spouting nonsense about how we've all lost our morality.

The Royal We, was it?

magicbastarder

Barrington wrote: »

It was only at the meal that I heard about what happened.

did anyone call him on it? i.e. what were relations between your folks and him afterwards?

Ghost Buster

magicbastarder wrote: »

did anyone call him on it? i.e. what were relations between your folks and him afterwards?

Barrington wrote: »

Few years ago, my parents were having a Mass for their 25th anniversary. My granduncle was a priest who performed the wedding, so my sister and her boyfriend went to collect him for the Mass. On the way there, my sister asked him if he would bless the house she and her boyfriend just bought. Fr.Granduncle didn't like that. Started giving out to them for living in sin, told them they're not allowed to receive communion at the Mass etc etc.

When they arrived at the church, my sister told my mother what happened. Obviously, my mother was upset at this. During the Mass after the Gospel, the priest started talking about young people nowadays not living in accordance with the Bible, all this craic. A Mass for my parents wedding anniversary and he's talking about the state of young people nowadays. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't even listening and had no idea what he was talking about. My mother was crying, my sister was holding back tears. I hadn't a notion what was going on. He was supposed to stay for a meal afterwards but my uncle drove him home. It was only at the meal that I heard about what happened.

So basically, regardless of whether it's a wedding, or even just a mass for people close to me, I just sit there and pay no attention to anything that's going on.

This is one area where i often tend to differ to other heathens!!:(
The Priest was dead right (barking, but dead right). If the couple who wanted the house blessed were "catholics" in the special irish way then they should not be living in sin AND should be living according to the bible.
Bringing it up publicly at a family wedding was out of order but the principle behind the Priests was right.

Yahew

Ghost Buster wrote: »

This is one area where i often tend to differ to other heathens!!:(
The Priest was dead right (barking, but dead right). If the couple who wanted the house blessed were "catholics" in the special irish way then they should not be living in sin AND should be living according to the bible.
Bringing it up publicly at a family wedding was out of order but the principle behind the Priests was right.

Yeah, they were asking for the house to be blessed. Thats meaningless, unless you believe Catholic doctrine. Catholic doctrine insists that people be married.

robindch

Barrington wrote: »

the priest started talking about young people nowadays not living in accordance with the Bible, all this craic

Hope he wasn't wearing clothes cut from two different kinds of cloth while saying that.

Ash.J.Williams

Barrington wrote: »

Few years ago, my parents were having a Mass for their 25th anniversary. My granduncle was a priest who performed the wedding, so my sister and her boyfriend went to collect him for the Mass. On the way there, my sister asked him if he would bless the house she and her boyfriend just bought. Fr.Granduncle didn't like that. Started giving out to them for living in sin, told them they're not allowed to receive communion at the Mass etc etc.

When they arrived at the church, my sister told my mother what happened. Obviously, my mother was upset at this. During the Mass after the Gospel, the priest started talking about young people nowadays not living in accordance with the Bible, all this craic. A Mass for my parents wedding anniversary and he's talking about the state of young people nowadays. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't even listening and had no idea what he was talking about. My mother was crying, my sister was holding back tears. I hadn't a notion what was going on. He was supposed to stay for a meal afterwards but my uncle drove him home. It was only at the meal that I heard about what happened.

So basically, regardless of whether it's a wedding, or even just a mass for people close to me, I just sit there and pay no attention to anything that's going on.

come on in fairness....why would she ask to get the house blessed in the first place?

iMax

To be honest OP, ducking out for a smoke & farting in your friend's face is just offensive behaviour. You should have declined the invitation or just gone to the afters.

Everyone knows what a wedding & in particular a Catholic one is like. No need to be offensive.

I've been to two in the past year. Just sat there in silence, played movies in my head. They were both great days out that I had to sit through a boring pre dinner show before getting to the good stuff.

Penn

magicbastarder wrote: »

did anyone call him on it? i.e. what were relations between your folks and him afterwards?

My uncle had a few words with him in the car on the way back apparently. My parents still visited once in a while (he died a few years after), but I think he did apologise so that eased things a bit.

Ghost Buster wrote: »

This is one area where i often tend to differ to other heathens!!:(
The Priest was dead right (barking, but dead right). If the couple who wanted the house blessed were "catholics" in the special irish way then they should not be living in sin AND should be living according to the bible.
Bringing it up publicly at a family wedding was out of order but the principle behind the Priests was right.

In a way, I agree. I can see why the Priest said what he did, he just shouldn't have said it then. But at the same time, my sister got our actual parish priest to do it and he had no problems. He even offered them the statue of some saint (you're supposed to bury it upside down in the garden when you move in for good luck or some such ****e) but they'd already done that. At least if you're not living in strict accordance with the Bible, you're showing you're trying to be close enough.

And yes, I am aware that that's stupid.

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

come on in fairness....why would she ask to get the house blessed in the first place?

I'm also aware that that's stupid too. Same with the burying the statue thing which was just one of the funniest things I heard in my life

sipstrassi

Here's the thing - if someone invites you into their house and you choose to go, you follow their rules.

As an atheist who gets invited to weddings, christenings, funerals (well, not invited to funerals exactly) I go along. I sit quiet and let it pass me by. But I show the respect I would show in any other house I am invited into.
Ultimately, if you have gone into a church (or anywhere) you should have the manners to respect what goes on in there or else just don't go.

MrStuffins

What a bunch of old sillyness!

Here's something you fine people might be able to answer for me........ were Adam and Eve married? According to The Bible?

MrStuffins

sipstrassi wrote: »

Here's the thing - if someone invites you into their house and you choose to go, you follow their rules.

As an atheist who gets invited to weddings, christenings, funerals (well, not invited to funerals exactly) I go along. I sit quiet and let it pass me by. But I show the respect I would show in any other house I am invited into.
Ultimately, if you have gone into a church (or anywhere) you should have the manners to respect what goes on in there or else just don't go.

And what's your point?

Penn

Actually, I was wrong about the statue thing. I think the priest did offer them something for the house but they had one already. The St.Joseph thing is when you're trying to sell your house.

St Joseph is mostly common buried upside down facing the house. Some say that this tradition goes back from what is called the "degradation of the saints". At that time the tradition was that you threatened the saints by burying them and with that saying to the saints "I will keep you with your head down in the dirt until you sell my house for me".
Now days, the tradition to bury a statue of St Joseph is still the same, but it's not very common to threaten him, instead we pray to his good will and pray that he will help us with a fast, smooth and profitable sale.

:D:D

sipstrassi

MrStuffins wrote: »

And what's your point?

I thought the point was pretty clear but I'll break it down for you.

No-one forced the OP to go into a church.
He chose to enter.
He then chose to leave for a fag break while farting in someone's face.

This is boorish behaviour.

Maybe it's the kind of behaviour that the OP engages in at all times but it reads as though he was doing it to alleviate his boredom while listening to 'sh1te'.
So, he thinks that going in the door of an organisation you don't agree with is a good reason to leave manners at the door.

I don't.

Sofiztikated

I can't actually remember the last time I was at a wedding, probably was my fiances brothers wedding.

But I do the same at a wedding as I do for any other reason I may have to attend a church service, be it catholic, protestant, or other.

I'll stand up. I'll sit down. I don't kneel. I don't sing. I don't wet myself. If I have to shake hands, I'll say howaya to a couple of people.

Mostly, I go to these things as a mark of respect to the people that have asked me, or in the case of a funeral, who I wish to pay respect to, be it the deceased or their family.

I'll listen to the preacher, minister, rabbi, whoever. Just because I don't agree or believe what he/she says, doesn't mean I can't listen to a bit of a story. I'll usually pick holes in it, later on, but that's for me to decide who I'll say that to.

To me, it's all a matter of respect. Just because you have different beliefs to me, don't mean I have to be a dick to you.

Ghost Buster

On the odd occasion I enter a church (Weddings, funerals, family Christenings etc) I stand when they stand. i sit when they sit but I wont kneel and i keep my hands behind my back (One must have principals;)). If i felt like acting the dick i simply wouldn't go.

Ash.J.Williams

If someone farted in my face i'd rip his F**ing head off..

Dades

MrStuffins wrote: »

And what's your point?

The point was perfectly clear.

Mind your tone, sir.

Shenshen

Ghost Buster wrote: »

This is one area where i often tend to differ to other heathens!!:(
The Priest was dead right (barking, but dead right). If the couple who wanted the house blessed were "catholics" in the special irish way then they should not be living in sin AND should be living according to the bible.
Bringing it up publicly at a family wedding was out of order but the principle behind the Priests was right.

I think there is a difference between declining to bless the house, and explaining to the girl that since she's living in sin in the eyes of the church, this is not something he could in good conscience do, and reducing her and her mother to tears.

That's the reason why I would think he was being a b*stard, judging from the story.

Shenshen

Barrington wrote: »

Actually, I was wrong about the statue thing. I think the priest did offer them something for the house but they had one already. The St.Joseph thing is when you're trying to sell your house.



:D:D

*roflmao

That's something I always kind of loved about people taking religion very literally... threatening saints to perform miracles!
Voodoo has nothing on good old Catholic traditions.

stimpson

Barrington wrote: »

The St.Joseph thing is when you're trying to sell your house.

Is he the patron saint of estate agents or something?

Anyway, I'm off to my cousins wedding tomorrow and I'm happy to do the mass thing. Partly because I've got a babysitter and it's a rare excuse to go on the lash, but mainly because last year they were happy to attend my godless heathen wedding and not one snide remark was made about the lack of a sky fairy representative. It's half an hour listening to some nonsense spoken by some gob****e. It's not any great hardship.

unklerosco

I'm with Sofiztikated on this, that's generally how I go about any church services I've to attend. Although I'm luck enough to be asked to take photos/video etc. so it's handy enough..

Last wedding I was at was my own, civil ceremony.. Had it in town with Family and closest friends, 20 mins long. Had my mate down the back of the room with an iPod playing our fav songs, left the ceremony to sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. I'll be honest, it was a great day. Had all our mates to the afters, everyone said it was the most relaxed wedding they'd been to.. All we wanted was a big kick ass party and that's what we had. Unfortunately, staying up till 8am the next morning and flying to NYC at 11am the same morning was a bad idea, 3 day hangover was killer!

Ghost Buster

Shenshen wrote: »

I think there is a difference between declining to bless the house, and explaining to the girl that since she's living in sin in the eyes of the church, this is not something he could in good conscience do, and reducing her and her mother to tears.

That's the reason why I would think he was being a b*stard, judging from the story.

I agree he was being a bastard. I agree with that. i just think the principle behind his actions was sound from a catholic perspective.
I dont get a la carte catholicism...i really really dont.

liamw

Ghost Buster wrote: »

I dont get a la carte catholicism...i really really dont.

It's social conformity.

goose2005

Barrington wrote: »

Few years ago, my parents were having a Mass for their 25th anniversary. My granduncle was a priest who performed the wedding, so my sister and her boyfriend went to collect him for the Mass. On the way there, my sister asked him if he would bless the house she and her boyfriend just bought. Fr.Granduncle didn't like that. Started giving out to them for living in sin, told them they're not allowed to receive communion at the Mass etc etc.

When they arrived at the church, my sister told my mother what happened. Obviously, my mother was upset at this. During the Mass after the Gospel, the priest started talking about young people nowadays not living in accordance with the Bible, all this craic. A Mass for my parents wedding anniversary and he's talking about the state of young people nowadays. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't even listening and had no idea what he was talking about. My mother was crying, my sister was holding back tears. I hadn't a notion what was going on. He was supposed to stay for a meal afterwards but my uncle drove him home. It was only at the meal that I heard about what happened.

So basically, regardless of whether it's a wedding, or even just a mass for people close to me, I just sit there and pay no attention to anything that's going on.

A Catholic ceremony is meaningless, as is a blessing, unless you're actually a Catholic. They might as well have sacrificed a goat to Apollo.

Yahew

goose2005 wrote: »

A Catholic ceremony is meaningless, as is a blessing, unless you're actually a Catholic. They might as well have sacrificed a goat to Apollo.

Not sure what that has got to do with anything.

Penn

goose2005 wrote: »

A Catholic ceremony is meaningless, as is a blessing, unless you're actually a Catholic. They might as well have sacrificed a goat to Apollo.

Well they did that too, just to cover their bases

IamtheWalrus

What did you hope to achieve by farting in someone's face? Was it related to your atheism?

Sarky

I was best man at a friend's wedding in April. I'd known the couple for years and I really wouldn't peg either as religious, so I suspect the ceremony was more for the sake of the parents, but hey, I never asked. It's not terribly important.

Anyway, they'd decided to get married, so they were going to do it right. They got a nice easily accessible church, they got a family friend to do the ceremony so it was all over with a minimum of preaching, the music wasn't religious at all. All over in less than an hour. I knew half the folks there, they were mostly Gamer and a gay couple or two. No objections, no religious arguments. Just happiness that one way or another two friends made a commitment to eachother.

Hardly anyone goes to a wedding for religious reasons. The ceremony isn't important. It's all about the sodding massive 2 day party afterwards. And, occasionally, trying to shag the bridesmaids...

Ghost Buster

liamw wrote: »

It's social conformity.

Getting your house blessed whilst wilfully committing sin in it is social conformity?
Im half way to conforming then;)

ShooterSF

MagicMarker wrote: »

Never been to a church wedding thankfully. If I ever do I'll stand at the back stick in some earphones.

Oh don't. Some of the stuff the priests come out with is very entertaining. I was ribbing my OH for hours after the last one as he said something about women being on the earth to entertain their man, well it was more of a religous passage but it was great fun (well for me anywho).

robindch

Sarky wrote: »

trying to shag the bridesmaids...

Damn catholic bridesmaids. You wouldn't be left adrift at an atheist wedding.

fitz0

I was best man at my brothers wedding last year despite them knowing my position on the religious issue. But it was their day so I stood when they stood, sat when they sat and even knelt when they knelt (after my brothers handy prompts.) Don't see the argument really, there's nothing I'm subjugating myself to so kneeling for kneelings sake isn't a big deal. I feel no religious strings attached to me from this incident.

Now though, there's a high chance that I'm to be named NoGodfather for their first. Not sure how I can reconcile promising to guide the child on a path of faith with my distinct lack thereof.

magicbastarder

will they seriously expect you to have any role in the kid's religious upbringing?

Dades

robindch wrote: »

Damn catholic bridesmaids. You wouldn't be left adrift at an atheist wedding.

And there's always the hotel lift for last-chance propositions. :pac:

Paparazzo

I don't see a problem with going to a church wedding. And definitely don't see a problem with kneeling! Leaving through the ceremony for a smoke is pretty bad too.

I had my wedding in a church last year, it was actually a great part of the day. Vicar was great. Don't believe a word of his "scriptures" or whatever the holy part of the ceremony was, but everything else was great.
I like listening to what they say, especially the catholic priests. Some of it is mental. Was at one wedding and the priest actually hinted that hopefully there'd be a few quid in an envelope for the guy playing the keyboard in the middle of his talk. And the bride was a great woman because her family were always very generous to the church. A genuine father ted.

goose2005

Paparazzo wrote: »

I don't see a problem with going to a church wedding. And definitely don't see a problem with kneeling!

Why would you kneel before something you don't think exists?

We see in the first place genuflection, which is done “by bending the right knee to the ground, signifies adoration, and therefore it is reserved for the Most Blessed Sacrament, as well as for the Holy Cross from the solemn adoration during the liturgical celebration on Good Friday until the beginning of the Easter Vigil.” (General Instruction of the Roman Missal, No. 274). The bowing of the head instead means reverence and honor. In the Creed — except in the solemnity of Christmas and of the Annunciation (Incarnation), in which it is replaced with genuflection — we carry out this gesture pronouncing the wonderful words: “By the power of the Holy Spirit he became incarnate from the Virgin Mary, and was made man.”
Finally, we would light to highlight the gesture of kneeling at the moment of the consecration and, where this use is kept, at Communion. They are strong signs, which manifest the awareness of being before someone special. It is Christ, the Son of the living God, and before him we fall on our knees.
In kneeling, the spiritual and physical meaning form a unity, because the bodily gesture implies a spiritual meaning and vice versa, the spiritual act calls for a manifestation, an external translation. To kneel before God is not something that “is not very modern”; on the contrary, it corresponds to the truth of our being itself.
“One who learns to believe, also learns to kneel, and a faith and a liturgy that no longer knows about kneeling would be unhealthy in a central point. Where this gesture has been lost, we must learn it again, to remain with our prayer in the communion of the Apostles and martyrs, in the communion of the whole cosmos, in the unity with Jesus Christ himself” (J. Ratzinger, Theology of the Liturgy [Opera Omnia 11]. LEV, Vatican City 2010, p. 183).

It's a bit silly to kneel just because everyone else is doing so, although most RCs will do the stand/sit/kneel thing without really knowing why.

Yahew

goose2005 wrote: »

Why would you kneel before something you don't think exists?

It's a bit silly to kneel just because everyone else is doing so, although most RCs will do the stand/sit/kneel thing without really knowing why.

I was once at a Buddhist ceremony where the Uncle - who was the oldest relative and therefore the leader of the ceremony - said something in Vietnamese and everybody stood up, and then sat down.

I stood up and then sat down. Because I am not a c*nt. You millage may vary.

Musicman2006

eoin5 wrote: »

The bishop kept spouting nonsense about how we've all lost our morality.

Glasshouse - stone..

fitz0

magicbastarder wrote: »

will they seriously expect you to have any role in the kid's religious upbringing?

No but as far as I've been told that's the general gist of a godfather, sponser for the child's christian upbringing. Essentially though, my understanding is that I will be accepting the baptism for the child since the child is too young to comprehend, something I have serious reservations about. Hopefully it won't come to it because my sister-in-law is quite strong in her belief and I wouldn't want to upset her.

Paparazzo

goose2005 wrote: »

Why would you kneel before something you don't think exists?

Because you're at a church wedding. If everyone else is kneeling, you'll look like a tool sitting there. Same with the standing parts. You're not admitting you're beliefs are wrong. You're changing your posture for about a minute. Does no harm, they even have pads to kneel on.

Sofiztikated

Not to drag this into "Dem Dere Brits" territory, but would you bow or curtesy before the Queen of England?

Sure, everyone else was doing.

Personally, as I mentioned, I don't kneel if I'm at a catholic thing. I bend my knee before no man or god. I'm not a militant athiest, or an evangelical agnostic, but I have my own line in the sand. This is it.

iMax

Sofiztikated wrote: »

I bend my knee before no man or god.

Jimmy Bottlehead

Paparazzo wrote: »

goose2005 wrote: »

Why would you kneel before something you don't think exists?

Because you're at a church wedding. If everyone else is kneeling, you'll look like a tool sitting there. Same with the standing parts. You're not admitting you're beliefs are wrong. You're changing your posture for about a minute. Does no harm, they even have pads to kneel on.

Whether I look like a tool or not, the people kneeling are the ones who let their lives be dictated by an unproven god.

I've no problem with the standing and sitting like everyone else, but on the very rare occasion I've been there, i wouldn't kneel. There are enough people with bad knees that don't/can't kneel that it doesn't look massively out of place anyway.

magicbastarder

fitz0 wrote: »

No but as far as I've been told that's the general gist of a godfather, sponser for the child's christian upbringing. Essentially though, my understanding is that I will be accepting the baptism for the child since the child is too young to comprehend, something I have serious reservations about. Hopefully it won't come to it because my sister-in-law is quite strong in her belief and I wouldn't want to upset her.

i'm a godfather, and it was made explicit to me when i was asked that i would not be expected to fulfil any sort of religious obligation; but just to be there for the kid.

Dades

Yahew wrote: »

I stood up and then sat down. Because I am not a c*nt. You millage may vary.

I do not like the implication in that post. Tread carefully.

There is no obligation on non-catholics to kneel during a RC ceremony.
It's totally normal now as people recognise that not every person invited to the ceremony is part of the flock.

The only people that might notice or tut tut are the occasional elderly relative, or you, it seems.

ShooterSF

Paparazzo wrote: »

Because you're at a church wedding. If everyone else is kneeling, you'll look like a tool sitting there. Same with the standing parts. You're not admitting you're beliefs are wrong. You're changing your posture for about a minute. Does no harm, they even have pads to kneel on.

Do you pray, bless yourself and take communion too? I stand, sit and shake hands because it's a nice irrelevant gesture. I don't kneel as it's a praying position I don't pray and I don't take communion because I choose not to mock the beliefs of actual christians that know I'm an atheist.