Help me get up to no good :)

Fukuyama

So; the girlfriends family are away (She lives with her parents - we're teenagers). And she has work all day. I'm staying with her for the two weeks having a grand aul time as you can imagine Now I'm left in the family home all by myself with their little annoying **** of a dog.

Feels kind of 'wrong'.

I'm kind of bored too... There's very little snooping to be done. Plus I'm pretty sure her neighbour thinks I'm a burgular. She seen me when she was hanging out washing and for some reason I leapt onto the ground :pac:

Any ideas on what I can get up to for the next seven hours or so?

chin_grin

Fap, blast everything with p!ss. Y'know, the usual.

petes

Kill the dog.

sunflower27

hahaha. Why did you jump on the ground, you nutcase. The cops are probably on the way

chin_grin

Insurgent wrote: »

F*ck the dog.

FYP. :pac:

mfceiling

Kick yourself in the face.....

WoollyRedHat

Purchase some cannabis seeds and plant it in their back garden for the lulz

Fukuyama

sunflower27 wrote: »

hahaha. Why did you jump on the ground, you nutcase. The cops are probably on the way

I don't know! :pac:

I feel like I shouldn't be here.

I just ransacked the fridge and made what frankly can only be described as an epic sandwich :cool:

The King of Moo

Kill the neighbour and bury her in the garden.

She's seen too much...

RedXIV

Create a treasure hunt for your gf when she comes home. Either put yourself at the end or hide something she really needs.

Or rearrange the place so it looks like its been burgled and pour ketchup on your face and lie in the kitchen waiting for her.



Seriously OP, the options here are limitless!

blaze1

Dress up in the ma's clothes, take pics and send them to the ma

digme

lol leave the house by yourself, go on, be mad....

Chris P. Bacon

Go to school.

filthymcnasty

Try on her mothers underwear.

FatherLen

hide the poop.

WoollyRedHat

Oh I know, invite all the neighbours on the street for a good old fashioned orgy, suprising your girlfriend in the process.

Try and avoid the old ones though, they might break something and you don't want that

Fukuyama

The King of Moo wrote: »

Kill the neighbour and bury her in the garden.

She's seen too much...

You're right.

*grimly picks up fire poker*

TheZohanS

Dean0088 wrote: »

So; the girlfriends family are away (She lives with her parents - we're teenagers). And she has work all day. I'm staying with her for the two weeks having a grand aul time as you can imagine Now I'm left in the family home all by myself with their little annoying **** of a dog.

Feels kind of 'wrong'.

I'm kind of bored too... There's very little snooping to be done. Plus I'm pretty sure her neighbour thinks I'm a burgular. She seen me when she was hanging out washing and for some reason I leapt onto the ground :pac:

Any ideas on what I can get up to for the next seven hours or so?

Get a job/part-time job you bum!

-Kenny-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YCpSvmjO7s

Fukuyama

TheZohan wrote: »

Get a job/part-time job you bum!

Got one but none today! Also college isn't back for another week.

Come on AH! Give me something fun to do!

brembo26

Give them all pink eye! rub your arse off all the pillows except for your own one!

Fukuyama

brembo26 wrote: »

Give them all pink eye! rub your arse off all the pillows except for your own one!

*removes trousers and runs upstairs*

flutterflye

Dress up as a burglar with tights on your head etc... and roam about the house and garden, making sure you're in plain view of windows when neighbours go by.

number10a

WoollyRedHat wrote: »

Oh I know, invite all the neighbours on the street for a good old fashioned orgy, suprising your girlfriend in the process.

Try and avoid the old ones though, they might break something and you don't want that

Cover the furniture in black bags or something first for God's sake! Fanny juice is a devil to get out of couch fabric.

audi a4 2008

ring the local estate agent ask them to come out and put the house up for sale:D they get some shock(the family) when they arrive back and the sign up,youre only young once make the best of it:pac:

sunflower27

Dean0088 wrote: »

I don't know! :pac:

I feel like I shouldn't be here.

I just ransacked the fridge and made what frankly can only be described as an epic sandwich :cool:

I bet your feet are on the couch, too

kfallon

Get to the washing basket, take out a pair of unwashed kaks belonging to either your g/f or her ma!

Place them on your face, spread pedigree chum (or some other dogfood based product) all over your balls and let the dog lick it off while you pull yourself off.

This all has to be done in a part of the house where the neighbours can see in.....at least then she'll be relieved that you are no burglar....just the local sexual deviant. She won't be hanging her washing out any time soon or letting 'rover' out in the garden on his own :pac:

sunflower27

brembo26 wrote: »

Give them all pink eye! rub your arse off all the pillows except for your own one!

:D:D

How do people even think of these things?

Sky King

Print out a load of nasty tranny porn images and leave them badly hidden in her dad's sock drawer where her ma will find them with phone numbers on them.

Quazzie

Buy a lock. Get the key for the lock and put it on the dogs collar. Place the dog in a glass fronted cabinet with some food. Use the luck to lock the cabinet, and watch as the family comes home and discovers the dog inside with the key. They will then have to decide to break the glass or go look for a boltcutters. For added lulz put a countdown timer to reach zero approximately 30 minutes after their arrival.

Its like a really shít episode of them saw movies, or good depending on how shít you thought the original ones to be.

Sky King

sunflower27 wrote: »

How do people even think of these things?

They rob them out of movies. Can't remember which one.

The King of Moo

1. Fill the house with wacky booby-traps that can only be triggered in very specific situations.

2. Indirectly inform two local bungling yet dangerous burglars that the house is empty.

3. Hijinks.

4. ????

5. Profit.

(If you're an adorable but simultaneously gratingly precocious pre-teen, change 4. to get "Get movie deal with major studio.")

flutterflye

Write "Dean waz 'ere" on the wall.

adocholiday

Turn every picture in the house facing the walls and when your girlfriend comes home cower in the corner and tell her they were watching and judging you

flutterflye

adocholiday wrote: »

Turn every picture in the house facing the walls and when your girlfriend comes home cower in the corner and tell her they were watching and judging you

Or tilt every picture or mirror ever so slightly off center.

Do an A C Slater. Where you sit on the toilet like A C Slater would sit on a chair when he's at the Maxx.

Though, you're a teenager so you probably have no idea what I'm referring to.

Redlion

There's definitely cameras hidden in the house

Fukuyama

Deleted User wrote: »

Do an A C Slater. Where you sit on the toilet like A C Slater would sit on a chair when he's at the Maxx.

Though, you're a teenager so you probably have no idea what I'm referring to.

I'm 19 not thirteen. I know what an AC Slater is. I miss the good old days of Bayside High School

Do a Butcher Boy and take a dump in the kitchen.

IsMiseLisa

Threads like these make me worry about some of the AH posters.

How in the jaysus do some of you even come up with some of your ideas?

tallaghtmick

flutterflye wrote: »

Write "Dean waz 'ere" on the wall.

With your own ****e

LighterGuy

Dean0088 wrote: »

So; the girlfriends family are away (She lives with her parents - we're teenagers). And she has work all day. I'm staying with her for the two weeks having a grand aul time as you can imagine Now I'm left in the family home all by myself with their little annoying **** of a dog.

Feels kind of 'wrong'.

I'm kind of bored too... There's very little snooping to be done. Plus I'm pretty sure her neighbour thinks I'm a burgular. She seen me when she was hanging out washing and for some reason I leapt onto the ground :pac:

Any ideas on what I can get up to for the next seven hours or so?

Word of advice, Dean0088 :pac:
Since you called her dog a little annoying sh*t and basically admitted to snooping around her gaff :pac: ... NEVER, EVER give her your username on boards!
She'll most likely have an old snoop around "threads posted / threads created" by you So dont let this bite you in the ass!

CardBordWindow

Move everything from the kitchen into the bathroom. Move everything from the bathroom into the hall. Move everything from the bedroom into the kitchen. Move everything....... you get the idea.
Try put everything in the same position as it was in the previous room.

JoePie

Go and buy a boat load of plastic cups. Fill each one up and place them all over the upstairs floor. Or just the stairs or something. You've got to cover the whole floorspace regardless of where you put them.

Then, when your bird comes home, act like you don't know how they got there and she's going to have to clean them up. And she can't just sweep them all up as she'll make a mess, so each one will have to be emptied individually.

ALTERNATIVELY:

Find three goats. Paint the numbers '1,' '2' and '4' on them and hide them all around the house. She'll spend ages looking for number '3'. Could also work with cats.

phill106

Install secret cameras all over the house, and stream it on the internet. If it proves popular, you can charge admission, if not, you can always be like a god to them, knowing things about the house you should not know, hearing things you shouldn't have heard etc

Liam Byrne

Help me get up to no good

Why, what level are you at at the moment ? Absolutely useless ?

I know this is really radical and not what you are looking for, how about cooking your gf a nice dinner, doing some tiding up and ironing for her, take the dog for a walk, then walk up and meet her form work and ask her about her day, run her a bath.

By doing the above you will feel good about yourself, you won't be bored, and you will be well on your way to winning the boyfriend of the year award!

GavRedKing

Piss and shit in the kettle and boil it just as sheas about to come home and hide upstairs, declare your innocence of any knowledge of the kettle.

sarah88

brembo26 wrote: »

Give them all pink eye! rub your arse off all the pillows except for your own one!

just to note you must be bare assed to give pink eye;)

Saila

oh jesus! well you're fcuked now, cause you have heard the suggestions and you are going to have to do a few of them after a dougal and big red button moment they will get louder and louder and louder in your head and you will eventually give in to the boredom and do something stupid :eek:

basically throw yourself downstairs and break your arm, this will mean you have to get out of the house for treatment and you wont do anything stupid.. you will instead be bored in hospital waiting 6 hours to be seen, discharged and back in time to tell the gf about that 'fall' you had... there are many benefits to this, not least the guilt sex for you getting hurt in her house

wobbles

Take the butter from the fridge, melt it, take a huge dump into the now liquid butter and let it reset. You wont be around to see the result, but you will be happy with the fact that you will have ruined someones day in a few days.

Also unroll the last roll of toilet paper in the pack, shred the last few feet of it and carefully roll it back up. Someone will get to that part thinking they have loads left only to be left with useless strands of paper they cant use.

How about you rub some poo into the toaster. Nothing worse than heating/burning poo with your toast in the morning.