New School Year & 'that' Teacher

run_Forrest_run

So we're back into a new school year and my daughter is now in senior infants and was really looking forward to going back.

On day one we find out which teacher is assigned to my daughter's class.
I've heard various stories about this particular teacher but I didn't pay too much attention to them as I wanted to see what she was like myself, no point in believing hearsay either.

My daughter came home a bit upset after the first day. The teacher made all the kids open their lunchboxes and she went through each one and told them they can't eat anything that looked like sweets etc.

Now we baked a few buns (nothing too fancy, no chocolate or icing etc, just plain buns) and gave one to my daughter for lunch (along with a sandwich, apple and drink). The teacher told my daughter she can't eat it!

This was the sort of thing I heard about this particular teacher. She puts fear into the kids over their lunch.

I also understand schools can only guide what goes into a child's lunch, they cannot force what goes in or doesn't go in.
I spoke with my daughter about it and said she is free to eat whatever we put into her lunchbox but of course now she's afraid of the teacher and is not eating her lunch until after school.

I'm thinking of having a chat with the teacher about this, I understand there may be some kids out there suffering from bad nutrition but teachers should not be making a big issue of eating lunch. It is the responsibility of parents to decide what their child eats, not the teachers.

So, what do ye think of this? Has this happened to anyone here?

exador

Have the school got a healthy eating policy ? I know a lot of schools have this and in my own experience my kids were allowwed a treat (chocolate,fizzy drink e.t.c) once a week on friday. I personally think that it is a good idea and we would allways go with the rules and the kids were fine with this knowing they could have a treat once a week. I agree with the principal behind it -

I would ask to speak to the teacher as soon as possible and sort out exactly what happened. Don't leave it to fester and address it straight away and ask for clarification on the school policy and the situation that happened.

bfocusd

run_Forrest_run wrote: »

So we're back into a new school year and my daughter is now in senior infants and was really looking forward to going back.

On day one we find out which teacher is assigned to my daughter's class.
I've heard various stories about this particular teacher but I didn't pay too much attention to them as I wanted to see what she was like myself, no point in believing hearsay either.

My daughter came home a bit upset after the first day. The teacher made all the kids open their lunchboxes and she went through each one and told them they can't eat anything that looked like sweets etc.

Now we baked a few buns (nothing too fancy, no chocolate or icing etc, just plain buns) and gave one to my daughter for lunch (along with a sandwich, apple and drink). The teacher told my daughter she can't eat it!

This was the sort of thing I heard about this particular teacher. She puts fear into the kids over their lunch.

I also understand schools can only guide what goes into a child's lunch, they cannot force what goes in or doesn't go in.
I spoke with my daughter about it and said she is free to eat whatever we put into her lunchbox but of course now she's afraid of the teacher and is not eating her lunch until after school.

I'm thinking of having a chat with the teacher about this, I understand there may be some kids out there suffering from bad nutrition but teachers should not be making a big issue of eating lunch. It is the responsibility of parents to decide what their child eats, not the teachers.

So, what do ye think of this? Has this happened to anyone here?

Yeah the same thing happened with my brother, everything was fine with school till this one came along, she was new too, my bro went in with a berry muffin, ham sambo and the yogurt. She told him he wasnt aloud to eat it, so my mam picked him up from school starving and upset, and my mam was fuming, she has no right to starve him cause she doesnt approve of his lunch, she should have let him have it that day and wrote a simple note or something to highlight it's not aloud..

So my mam went up and confronted her about it, she was all very polite and the usual, but after that it got worse.

My mam picked him one day and he had wet himself, and he never done that during the day, maybe the odd time at night. He said the teacher said he wasnt aloud use the bathroom he had to finish his writing first!

So my mam brought him home straight away to be changed andd try calm him down, he was crying his eyes out cause he thought it was his fault, then a few weeks later he started to get really upset when you mentioned school, before you couldnt stop him talking about his friends and his art work etc.

it turned out anyway the teacher was making him stand in the corner of the class because he coloured in some of the things on his books, this was about two months into school and he didnt want to go in the morning at all, so after speeaking to the teacher and there being no difference she went above her head and arranged a meeting with the head master, and being as organised as she is, she had a note book, with dates of what happened, and several times he wasnt aloud his lunch, he was forced to drink milk, he hates milk, and always has, what if he was lactose intolerant too! He was made stand in the bold corner at least twice a week, he was banned from pe because he got out of his seat.

It was an endless list and when my mam spoke to the headmaster he was in shock, and called the teacher in, for a start she hadnt one record of reporting anything to my mam or the school about him, and it turned out when my mam spoke to the other mothers it was the same, so they got together and demanded that the teacher leave or they would send the kids elsewhere.

My bro was in first class at the time of this too, hes now in sixth year and every other teacher hasnt had a problem with him, we get the odd he doesnt shut up, but aside from that hes been fine.

if I was in your situation, keep a record of everything, a liittle diary of what happened in class that day and if it goes any further at least you have a record yourself.
just dont let the teacher bully your child because they do and they think when they are young your going to believe an adult before them.
And if you feel it necessary go to the headmaster and report her, dont even say it to her, because if shes reported and its kept anonomus she wont know which kid shes bullying has spoke out, and ask the other parents if its the same for them. If so get together and demand her removal, shes a teacher after all not a prison guard!

run_Forrest_run

thanks for the feedback folks. The thing is, this is not one isolated incident, she does this to ALL kids ALL the time. She's known for this. However others teachers in the same school don't do this.

The whole thing is a joke really, every now and then the teachers will give kids sweets, how's that for contradiction!

This particular teacher is a temp and has been for years. She used to be permanent but left to bring up her kids and now she's back as a temp and I can now see why she'll never be made permanent again!
She's 'old school' really. The younger teachers are way better at handling this sort of thing.
Teaching through fear is outdated and those who do it should be made accountable for it.

The Principal is not much better, she doesn't like dealing with issues...I'm not joking, she can't even handle cases of bullying (I have facts) so not to mention school lunches.

bfocusd

run_Forrest_run wrote: »

thanks for the feedback folks. The thing is, this is not one isolated incident, she does this to ALL kids ALL the time. She's known for this. However others teachers in the same school don't do this.

The whole thing is a joke really, every now and then the teachers will give kids sweets, how's that for contradiction!

This particular teacher is a temp and has been for years. She used to be permanent but left to bring up her kids and now she's back as a temp and I can now see why she'll never be made permanent again!
She's 'old school' really. The younger teachers are way better at handling this sort of thing.
Teaching through fear is outdated and those who do it should be made accountable for it.

The Principal is not much better, she doesn't like dealing with issues...I'm not joking, she can't even handle cases of bullying (I have facts) so not to mention school lunches.

who would be over the principals head then?
if they can do the job they shouldnt be in it, bullying is a very serious issue and if she cant be bothered then she should be dismissed.

if shes and old school style teacher then she needs to be retrained on how things are done now, and follow the new rules, or find another profession, or maybe join the army to teach there, she for sure has the skill/attitude for that!

if she continues to hassle the kids, id rally up the parents and make it known that shes gotten away with it for long enough and it wont be accepted anymore. And if the principal cant fulfill her position make it known to her your not satasified with her and your willing to go further if needs be. As a group obviously, its always more initimaditing and will hopefully give them a taste of their own medican.

or if you want to be subtle(ish) seeing that its the start of the year too it would be maybe easier to have you child moved to another class?

personally I would go with the confronting one, because she will still be making the other kids life hell, And she needs a reality check.

I actually had myself a year head who always picked on me and once she locked me in her office and forced me to eat sugarpuff's and drink tea, I never ever drink tea or any hot drinks at that.. I was extremely ill and should have been brought to hospital, and the one thing you dont do is make someone eat when they have stomach pains, I was there for about 2 hours lying on the desk in a ball and burning up, so I text my mam an she left work and came and got me.. She was like a bull in a china shop and after that the teacher never bothered me again.

shes actually the PRINCIPAL now and tried the same with my brother till she seen me and my mam at his first parent teacher meeting! Haha shes been like a mouse since I tell ya!

exador

First port of call is always the teacher. I would meet this head on and go armed with as much information (facts) and then see what the teacher has to say. Try not to approach with a guity until proven innocent attitude and see how you get on. In my experience I have always tried to nip things in the bud and found that meeting it head on is the best approach and sometimes you will find that you will find out more and eduacate yourselft on the workings of the system which can be full of beaucracy and red tape.

I am not saying it always works but try and keep an open mind and gather up as much information from school policies and dept of education website e.t.c .. One thing to bear in mind is that your child still has a good few years left to go in the school so you will no doubt come across times when you have to contact the school so try and start off on the right foot. I am not saying for a minute to sit back and take unneccesary crap or abuse but just to get to know the ins and outs of the politics.

I have found that teachers are just like other professions and there are good ones and bad ones and some are in it for the right reasons and are committed and some are just not.

exador

exador wrote: »

First port of call is always the teacher. I would meet this head on and go armed with as much information (facts) and then see what the teacher has to say. Try not to approach with a guity until proven innocent attitude and see how you get on. In my experience I have always tried to nip things in the bud and found that meeting it head on is the best approach and sometimes you will find that you will find out more and eduacate yourselft on the workings of the system which can be full of beaucracy and red tape.

I am not saying it always works but try and keep an open mind and gather up as much information from school policies and dept of education website e.t.c .. One thing to bear in mind is that your child still has a good few years left to go in the school so you will no doubt come across times when you have to contact the school so try and start off on the right foot. I am not saying for a minute to sit back and take unneccesary crap or abuse but just to get to know the ins and outs of the politics.

I have found that teachers are just like other professions and there are good ones and bad ones and some are in it for the right reasons and are committed and some are just not.

Just noticed a few typo's in the spelling ! Irony

ash23

I actually think you made this a bit worse from your daughters perspective to be honest.

It would have been better (knowing that this teacher doesn't allow treats) to have said to your daughter "oh well, we'll keep treats for after school instead" rather than telling her that she should effectively disobey the teacher if you put something in her lunchbox. I think your daughter is now afraid of upsetting you or the teacher.

Personally I'd have let it go and stopped putting treats in the lunch (a bun is a treat, chocolate covered or not) and left it at that. If I'd felt strongly enough about it I'd have broached the teacher asking for a treat allowed on Friday or something, although I'd be wary of drawing attention to my daughter this early in the year.
Our school have a healthy eating policy which some adhere to and some don't. I'd love if it was enforced because it's very hard on the kids who don't have a treat in the lunchbox every day when others have them but I don't think it's good for them to have a treat. Plus it means a lot of swapping and "will you share that with me" nonsense.
Our teacher actually prohibited any lunch swapping going on because it was rife. I was sick of sending in a healthy yougurt and fruit and hearing it had been swapped for a cheesestring.

Anyway, my advice, pick your battles. I wouldn't bat an eyelid over this to be honest.

Kildrought

It would have been better (knowing that this teacher doesn't allow treats) to have said to your daughter "oh well, we'll keep treats for after school instead" rather than telling her that she should effectively disobey the teacher if you put something in her lunchbox.

Spot on. Making a mountain out of a molehill otherwise.

magrat

The school is not allowed to do anything but have a healthy eating guideline in place. They do not have any right to enforce any food rules at all. There was a school taken to court over this ...

The teachers can have schoolroom rules regarding how the children behave, how much/little homework they have, what sort of way they discipline children. They are not ever responsible for the childrens nutrition that is a parents job.

I would go in and tell the teacher that my child will eat what I give them.

I have done this before and if need be I would do it again. No other adult has the right to examine my child's lunch box, and frighten them about food.

There is no such thing as a 'good' food and a 'bad' food ... life is all about balance and any food taken in moderation has some nutritional benifet.

Children's dietary needs are totally different to an adults and some adults seem to forget that .

I dont think your making a mountain out of a molehill ..... Personally I think the teacher is doing that .. and it would not be behavour I would be willing to tolerate from a teacher.

valm

Kildrought wrote: »

Spot on. Making a mountain out of a molehill otherwise.

Fully agree mountain out of a molehill. I would say try to avoid any disagreeable confrontations with teachers in the first week you do not want to start on a bad footing.
Should an unpleasant situation continue for 2-3 weeks then go forward with your plan to see the teacher. Remember if a teacher feels a parent is a nit picker/complainer it is very easy for them to ignore the child’s misdemeanours, this way the child will have no complaints to carry home and the teacher will have no hassle from parents. Do nothing feel the waters and monitor the situation before you confront anyone.

implausible

run_Forrest_run wrote: »

This particular teacher is a temp and has been for years. She used to be permanent but left to bring up her kids and now she's back as a temp and I can now see why she'll never be made permanent again!
She's 'old school' really. The younger teachers are way better at handling this sort of thing.

If she's just a 'temp', sure you won't have to deal with her for the whole year. Suck it up until the other teacher comes back.

To be honest OP, I feel that you chose to send your child to a school with a Healthy Eating policy, so you shouldn't be surprised if it is implemented, even if the implementation is a bit harsh.

run_Forrest_run

@ash23 I have't don't anything about it yet, as others said, I'm just feeling the waters and seeing how things pan out and so far the carry-on is playing out exactly like the previous stories I heard about this teacher.

@valm Yes, I do agree with a healthy eating policy in schools but what bothers me is the inconsistent way such a policy is implemented. We've always packed a healthy lunch, there's nothing more annoying than seeing some over-weight child munching on junk for lunch believe me.

I also agree with magrat, teachers can't enforce what kids eat or don't eat, they can only recommend. This particular teacher is obsessed with it, it's as if she raised an obese kid herself and is only now seeing the err of her ways and trying to re-live her learnings through her pupils

Yes, she's a temp but she's been there for a year or two now. Between permanent teachers out on maternity leave or 'stress related' illness she's still with us and will be for quite some time. It's quite common for temps to be working in a school for a long period.

To those who say I'm making a mountain out of a molehill I like to say I disagree. I'd rather not let a teacher scare the bejeesus out of a 5 year old just for eating a lunch that was packed by her parents. I always keep her assured what we give her to eat is best for her as we know best for our child.

ash23

I think it's you who has made your daughter scared though. I remember sending my daughter in with popcorn once and she was told she wasn't allowed to have it. She was a bit embarrassed at being pulled up on it, but I just said "oh well, we know now" and that was the end of it. She wasn't afraid of the teacher and she got on with her life.
If I had said "well, I'll show her!" and sent in popcorn day after day, then my daughter would be scared of the teacher because she'd know it was wrong and she'd be waiting for the teacher to tell her off. And that would be my fault in that case.
If you pack a healthy lunch with no cakes or biscuits, the child will have no cause to be worried about the teacher giving out to her. I don't see why you'd encourage your child to break the class rules. You could get pedantic about it and insist that you know whats best for your child, but truthfully, if I were looking about a large group of kids, I'd be wanting to limit their sugar intake too. And while you might just pack one bun, another parent might send a chocolate spread sandwich, a bar, a cheesestring, a bag of crisps and a bottle of coke. If the school has a healthy eating policy and you knew that, you should adhere to it. It's not going to harm your daughter to have her bun after school instead of with her lunch.

You could make a point but it's your child who will suffer.
Over a bun.

run_Forrest_run

ash23 wrote: »

I think it's you who has made your daughter scared though. I remember sending my daughter in with popcorn once and she was told she wasn't allowed to have it. She was a bit embarrassed at being pulled up on it, but I just said "oh well, we know now" and that was the end of it. She wasn't afraid of the teacher and she got on with her life.
If I had said "well, I'll show her!" and sent in popcorn day after day, then my daughter would be scared of the teacher because she'd know it was wrong and she'd be waiting for the teacher to tell her off. And that would be my fault in that case.
If you pack a healthy lunch with no cakes or biscuits, the child will have no cause to be worried about the teacher giving out to her. I don't see why you'd encourage your child to break the class rules. You could get pedantic about it and insist that you know whats best for your child, but truthfully, if I were looking about a large group of kids, I'd be wanting to limit their sugar intake too. And while you might just pack one bun, another parent might send a chocolate spread sandwich, a bar, a cheesestring, a bag of crisps and a bottle of coke. If the school has a healthy eating policy and you knew that, you should adhere to it. It's not going to harm your daughter to have her bun after school instead of with her lunch.

You could make a point but it's your child who will suffer.
Over a bun.

as I said, I'm not going to do anything for now, let time do its thing.
I don't think you can say I made my child afraid, unless you are living with us now are you?
My daughter was wary of this teacher last June when the teacher looked after her class for one day...a lot of the kids were a bit freaked out by her...nothing to do with parents as we knew nothing about it until after, kids will talk amongst themselves, and it didn't help when they were told that they might have this teacher after the Summer holidays...again, we didn't know this until the children told us...no scaremongering there either.

Other children in the class are afraid to drink they juice at lunchtime now, we've heard this from other parents...I swear I didn't scare those children either:rolleyes:

Time for my breakfast, now where did I put that Black Forest Gateau...

mikemac

Same in our local school, no sweets or soft drink for sos or lón from Monday to Thursday. Eat whatever on Friday
It works and people get on with it

Seems to me OP you've taken this too seriously and you're going to cause a confrontation over it. Maybe not now but in the coming months

Yes, the school can't force what a child eats, they are only setting guidelines. There's even a post in this thread over a court case
There is an attitude of "I'll show that teacher, can't dictate to me" here.

Just obey the healthy eating policy and get on with it.

Some issues are worth fighting and meeting teachers and principals over, this is not one of them

ash23

run_Forrest_run wrote: »

as I said, I'm not going to do anything for now, let time do its thing.
I don't think you can say I made my child afraid, unless you are living with us now are you?
My daughter was wary of this teacher last June when the teacher looked after her class for one day...a lot of the kids were a bit freaked out by her...nothing to do with parents as we knew nothing about it until after, kids will talk amongst themselves, and it didn't help when they were told that they might have this teacher after the Summer holidays...again, we didn't know this until the children told us...no scaremongering there either.

Other children in the class are afraid to drink they juice at lunchtime now, we've heard this from other parents...I swear I didn't scare those children either:rolleyes:

Time for my breakfast, now where did I put that Black Forest Gateau...

No need to be like that. You asked for an opinion, I gave mine.
I still think you are aggravating the situation rather than helping it. But clearly you think you're right so pack whatever you want in the lunchbox and have your child given out to every day.

bryaner

Ohh god this is reeling in the years for me, when my youngest was in senior infants his teacher seemed to take a dislike to my child, bearing in mind he was 6 she used to call me across the yard once or twice a week lamenting at his alleged behaviour.

Now I would be a moderate to strict parent and for the first few times believed the teacher and punished my child (taking away things bold step etc) which lead to tears and bad feeling between me and my child, he obviously thought I was being a complete bollox.

Another week comes and she calls me across the yard via her finger and she is with the principle, starts her normal rant and I say ffs the child is 6 what has he done so bad do you want me to start beating him which gave them a bit of a land.

I told my wife that I was not collecting him any more because I couldn't face getting fingered across the yard anymore so she collected him from there on, for the next half of the year she collected him and was never called across the yard nor was there any complaints, since we have found out she is just a c*nt and generally picks on at least one child per year.

But it caused my child and myself a lot of distress over that time, so my advice would be to nip it in the bud OP, and if they question your bun state that it's homemade and perfectly healthy..

Edit: I know my problem is not the same as the op's, but I hate that c*nt..

Tabnabs

OP, you're getting a rough old time in this thread.

A plain bun has to be the most modest of "treats" and would hardly cause the class to riot if your child were to eat it. You daughter is still only very small and surely a little token of comfort from mum's baking during the first week back isn't going to stop the world rotating.

I'd be sorely tempted to leave a short but polite note in the top of the lunch box saying something like "Dear Ms X, You nourish my child's mind and I'll nourish her body. Sincerely, run_Forrest_run".

But I'd rather just say "Those who can, bake, those who can't, teach" :P

SunnyLucy

I don't see the harm in her having a homemade bun as part of her lunch, if that teacher had any sense she would have, like an earlier post said, allowed her to have the bun and sent a note home explaining to you that items like these are against their healthy eating guidelines, or alternatively watched her lunches over a period of time to ensure it wasn't a regular thing. It would be a different story if she was coming in every day with a cream doughnut and a can of coke and nothing else, but this clearly is not the case and the teacher should have enough cop on to realise that. Also it isn't the child who packs her lunch so any issue the teacher has with the lunch provided should be taken up directly with the parent and not the child, especially not a child of such a young age.

My biggest concern would be that this fear of upsetting the teacher and getting into trouble will stay with her throughout the school year and possibly for the rest of her schooling, so if I were in your shoes I would explain clearly to her that she hasn't done anything wrong and that she has nothing to worry about in eating her lunch and in future maybe let her help you pack her lunch so she's happy with the contents and feels safe and confident that she won't get into trouble when she eats it.

Also if this teacher has a history of picking on or upsetting children then it would do no harm to maybe keep a record of any incidents relating to your child just in case worse comes to worse and you feel she is directly affecting your daughters confidence in school. I would advise you to pick your battles wisely, I understand you are wary of this particular teacher, but battling over a bun will get you nowhere. Unfortunately not all teachers are in the job for the love of teaching, some see it as a means to an end. I have two friends who are primary teachers, in different schools, and sadly each of them have a colleague whose teaching methods and treatment of the children they find very questionable.

run_Forrest_run

thanks Tabnabs, I feel a bit up against it alright....all for a bun!
I think some people forget the child is 5.

A few here have already suggested 'pick your battles' and that is exactly what I'll do. I'm going to say nothing for now.

I like your idea about the note, I was thinking of doing that too but your comment is far better than the one I was thinking of using

@SunnyLucy - great points made, If the teacher has an issue with the lunch she should either talk to us or leave a note with my daughter for us. Targeting the child is not fair.

All the buns are gone now anyway, we won't be baking any more until the weekend. She's gone in with a small packet of raisins as a snack today...I hope the teacher doesn't have some innate fear of raisins.

I also just heard, two parents were talking with the teacher today (so it's not just us making a deal of this).
On the first day she made a boy cry, she gave out to him for something or other and yesterday she told him (in front of the class) that she was 'sick of him already'.

The poor boy, that's hard to deal with on the first day back to school...and remember they are only 5.

run_Forrest_run

ash23 wrote: »

No need to be like that. You asked for an opinion, I gave mine.
I still think you are aggravating the situation rather than helping it. But clearly you think you're right so pack whatever you want in the lunchbox and have your child given out to every day.

and do you think it's right for a teacher to give out to a child just because they don't agree with the contents of the lunchbox?
I know I don't, I think the teacher should be an adult and deal with the parents, not a 5 year old.

I know you seem to be proud of your strict regime with your child and if that works fine, but each to their own.

ash23

run_Forrest_run wrote: »

and do you think it's right for a teacher to give out to a child just because they don't agree with the contents of the lunchbox?
I know I don't, I think the teacher should be an adult and deal with the parents, not a 5 year old.

I know you seem to be proud of your strict regime with your child and if that works fine, but each to their own.

You didn't say the teacher gave out. You said she went through the lunches and told her she wasn't allowed to have a bun. You didn't say she scared her or shouted at her or punished her. The teacher told them what they could and couldn't have in the lunchbox.

I just try to be realistic and unfortunately when there are a large number in the class it tends to be an "all or nothing" type of thing. get used to it. My daughter is in 3rd class and there are some rules that I think are OTT but when I think about it from the teachers point of view, I can see why they may need to do it.
Because as soon as the teacher says it's ok for a homemade bun, there will be some in with cakes and buns and coke and they'd be the ones bouncing off the walls for the day. You can't let one have a homemade bun and tell another they can't have a donut. IMO rules are necessary when dealing with large numbers. I can see why the teachers do it.

I don't have a strict "regime" with my child. She has a healthy lunchbox (as is asked by the school) and treats at home under my watch.
Like I said, you don't have to agree with me. I'm just offering an opinion. As you asked.

SunnyLucy

Thats just so sad, the poor little boy. I'm delighted to hear that his parents were in to complain about it. Children are like sponges, they absorb everything, this teacher should be aware of that and watch what she says. She has a lot of groundwork to make up with that boy and your daughter, but it doesnt sound like she's the type who will do that, its such a shame this has all kicked off at the very start of the school year, as they have a whole year of her to put up with now. Like you said, these are only 5 year olds, they're not criminal delinquents, they go to school to learn, not to be put upon and intimidated by a witch like this!

I'm 28 and still remember the absolute tyrant of a teacher I had in senior infants, she scared the life out of all of us, and my friends and I still talk about her from time to time, some things just stay with you for ever!

You clearly have your daughters best interests at heart and thats brilliant, there are many parents out there who couldnt care less, best of luck with this situation!

run_Forrest_run

ash23 wrote: »

Because as soon as the teacher says it's ok for a homemade bun, there will be some in with cakes and buns and coke and they'd be the ones bouncing off the walls for the day. You can't let one have a homemade bun and tell another they can't have a donut. IMO rules are necessary when dealing with large numbers. I can see why the teachers do it.

Yes, I totally agree with you there. However the school are not implementing this very well. In order to do this properly they would clearly need to outline what is and was is not allowed as a lunch (and distribute this to all parents). It's not fair on kids and parents for some teachers to randomly pick some items that are not allowed, give parents the clear list of items allowed and then we're all singing from the same hymn sheet.
The school won't do this because it brings on more work for them, simple as that.

Cool, thanks for your opinion anyway, just because we differ doesn't mean I don't take what you say on board.

Stench Blossoms

run_Forrest_run wrote: »

and do you think it's right for a teacher to give out to a child just because they don't agree with the contents of the lunchbox?
I know I don't, I think the teacher should be an adult and deal with the parents, not a 5 year old.

I know you seem to be proud of your strict regime with your child and if that works fine, but each to their own.

But if you know that the teacher will give out to your child if you pack a bun why would you do it?

run_Forrest_run

Stench Blossoms wrote: »

But if you know that the teacher will give out to your child if you pack a bun why would you do it?

well of course initially we didn't know. On day two I said to my daughter that I'm packing the bun and it's OK to eat it but if she feels afraid of the teacher she can leave it and have it after school when the child minder collects her.

Stench Blossoms

run_Forrest_run wrote: »

well of course initially we didn't know. On day two I said to my daughter that I'm packing the bun and it's OK to eat it but if she feels afraid of the teacher she can leave it and have it after school when the child minder collects her.

So on the first day you didn't know but on the second day you did and you STILL packed it?

Then you say to her that if she feels afraid of the teacher? Are you serious?

You are fueling your daughter's fear here which is completely unnessesary.

Don't pack a bun.

CrazyRabbit

It's not the teachers business what you want to feed your child. The teacher is crossing the line, especially in how she handled this. At most, she should have had a chat with you about your choice of food and recommended some different foods.

Making a child paranoid about what they are eating can ony increase the chances of eating disorders. A child should not have to worry about calorie intake etc. It's the responsibility of the parent to control their child's diet, and encourage/team them to eat healthy foods.

I'm shocked at some of the posts above with the 'mountain out of a molehill' statements. Somebody challenging your parenting decisions is a big deal. A teacher effectively bullying a young child is a big deal.

I will agree with the others that you should talk to the teacher instead of encouraging your child to disobey their teacher. That puts the child in a very difficult position of challenging a grownup that they've been told to listen to.

Das Kitty

I don't think individual teachers should set the lunch policies for their classroom. If there was a school-wide policy it would be much fairer and better communicated. Parents shouldn't be learning about lunch rules from their kids coming home upset, it should be clearly communicated at the start of the year. It should apply to all classes.

Mr. Presentable

"She does it to all the kids all the time"

Sounds like an even-handed approach to me. If they have a policy they have to enforce it for everyone.

Your child has a "plain bun" and mine has an iced one. Should yours get an exemption and mine not?

The simple solution is to stop giving treats to your children where they are not allowed. Apart from the healthy eating policy, there is also the consideration that some kids maybe cannot afford treats every day.

You are aware of the way the teacher applies the rules, and were aware from the beginning. If you don't choose to flout the rules your child doesn't take the results.

ash23

I think that saying the teacher is bullying the child is way overboard. She instructed them as to what they were and weren't allowed to have in their lunches.
I do agree that the healthy eating policy should have been explained to the parents at enrollment. We got the literature before the hildren even started. Although every year in the first week we get a letter home reminding us of the healthy eating policy and the treats are only allowed on a Friday.


Does the school have a healthy eating policy OP? Is it just that some teachers are more lax about it than others or was it never mentioned at all?

run_Forrest_run

ash23 wrote: »

Does the school have a healthy eating policy OP? Is it just that some teachers are more lax about it than others or was it never mentioned at all?

The school never mentioned a healthy eating policy and never issued any letters etc about such.

Folks, this is our second year and all of last year we had no issues. We provide a healthy lunch all the time, just like last year. All of a sudden issues arise...with the same teacher who raised issues for previous children the previous year, go figure.

@Mr. Presentable: read my posts again, we did not know that the teacher had an issue with certain items for lunch, as I said above, other teachers are perfectly fine with it.

Also, please define 'treats' so? Because without clearly defined literature (which does not exist in the school) you can always arrive at boundary conditions where one child has X and the other has a variant of X..where to draw the line.

run_Forrest_run

ash23 wrote: »

Does the school have a healthy eating policy OP? Is it just that some teachers are more lax about it than others or was it never mentioned at all?

The school never mentioned a healthy eating policy and never issued any letters etc about such.

Folks, this is our second year and all of last year we had no issues. We provide a healthy lunch all the time, just like last year. All of a sudden issues arise...with the same teacher who raised issues for previous children the previous year, go figure.

@Mr. Presentable: read my posts again, we did not know that the teacher had an issue with certain items for lunch, as I said above, other teachers are perfectly fine with it.

Also, please define 'treats' so? Because without clearly defined literature (which does not exist in the school) you can always arrive at boundary conditions where one child has X and the other has a variant of X..where to draw the line??

Flouting the rules :eek: ??

Daisy M

The only problemI would have with this is that the school did not let you know about the healthy eating policy. I would never start any kind of debate with my kids school over a trivial incident like this. Send a healthy lunch and then your daughter will have no problem, its not fair to tell her she can eat what you send and expect her to do so. Try and see this from your daughters point of view too.
I dont mean to get at you but your daughter is the one who has to attend this school and you fighting and taking a stance over something as silly as a few buns will not help
And just to add I do think the teacher handled it completely wrong she has let herself down, but dont stoop to her level.

Mr. Presentable

run_Forrest_run wrote: »

@Mr. Presentable: read my posts again, we did not know that the teacher had an issue with certain items for lunch, as I said above, other teachers are perfectly fine with it.

With all due respect rFr, in your opening post you put the following:

Now we baked a few buns (nothing too fancy, no chocolate or icing etc, just plain buns) and gave one to my daughter for lunch (along with a sandwich, apple and drink). The teacher told my daughter she can't eat it!

This was the sort of thing I heard about this particular teacher

Maybe I misunderstood, but it looks to me like you knew the teacher's policy

charlemont

Seems some people here have no problem with whatever rules the schools come up with regardless of how it affects the children, Sure rules are rules !

Cant believe this is still going on today in Irish schools.

ash23

charlemont wrote: »

Seems some people here have no problem with whatever rules the schools come up with regardless of how it affects the children, Sure rules are rules !

Cant believe this is still going on today in Irish schools.

I don't know where you're getting that from?
Just because I, and a few others, don't think there's any big deal with a teacher prohibiting junk food in the lunch box, doesn't mean I'll accept any rule going.
How exactly does this affect the child? other than she can't eat a bun in school? Am I missing something?
My daughter has never been allowed junk in her lunch and she has no major scarring from it.
It's not that big a deal.

SunnyLucy

ash23 wrote: »

I think that saying the teacher is bullying the child is way overboard.

I'm sorry but I have to disagree there ash23. A grown woman has made 5 year olds afraid to drink their juice during their lunch break and made one in particular cry by telling him she's "sick of him already" (can you imagine the tone she used while saying that, I doubt it was a nice one!). What would you call that? Maybe bullying isn't the correct word, but its definitely intimidating. Children these days should be able to trust in their teachers not fear them.

ash23

SunnyLucy wrote: »

I'm sorry but I have to disagree there ash23. A grown woman has made 5 year olds afraid to drink their juice during their lunch break and made one in particular cry by telling him she's "sick of him already" (can you imagine the tone she used while saying that, I doubt it was a nice one!). What would you call that? Maybe bullying isn't the correct word, but its definitely intimidating. Children these days should be able to trust in their teachers not fear them.

Wasn't that just hearsay though? Op heard that other parents said that. I didn't see anything to indicate that OPs child was in any way bullied by this teacher. She also "heard" that the kids were afraid to drink juice from other parents. After one day?

I don't like to take hearsay as fact. So far the teacher hasn't done anything much to OPs child, other than tell her that she can't have a bun.

If the other parents have concerns that their children are being bullied they should approach the teacher or principal. But in the OPs case, I don't think her child is being bullied.

SunnyLucy

As I said, I think bullying probably isnt the best word for it, but I do think the way the teacher is behaving is out of order. While I agree with you about not taking hearsay as fact it would seem her reputation has preceded her, I think the OP said as far back as June there were comments etc made about the way this particular teacher behaves towards the children, and maybe parents are being super watchful about the way she behaves but there is no smoke without fire, and something must have occured with the little boy for such comments to be made.

Also the OP said her daughter is afraid to eat her lunch until after school, even if the child is being over sensitive the teacher should surely spot that the child isnt eating her lunch and encourage her to do so or bring it to the parents attention, she was quick enough off the mark to stop her from eating her bun!

Stench Blossoms

SunnyLucy wrote: »

Also the OP said her daughter is afraid to eat her lunch until after school, even if the child is being over sensitive the teacher should surely spot that the child isnt eating her lunch and encourage her to do so or bring it to the parents attention, she was quick enough off the mark to stop her from eating her bun!

Where did the OP say anything about the child being afraid to eat the rest of their lunch?

All they said was

run_Forrest_run wrote:

I'm packing the bun and it's OK to eat it but if she feels afraid of the teacher she can leave it

ash23

SunnyLucy wrote: »

As I said, I think bullying probably isnt the best word for it, but I do think the way the teacher is behaving is out of order. While I agree with you about not taking hearsay as fact it would seem her reputation has preceded her, I think the OP said as far back as June there were comments etc made about the way this particular teacher behaves towards the children, and maybe parents are being super watchful about the way she behaves but there is no smoke without fire, and something must have occured with the little boy for such comments to be made.

Also the OP said her daughter is afraid to eat her lunch until after school, even if the child is being over sensitive the teacher should surely spot that the child isnt eating her lunch and encourage her to do so or bring it to the parents attention, she was quick enough off the mark to stop her from eating her bun!

And again, I just don't think the child should be put in the position in the first place once the initial reprimand was given by the teacher. I think it's awful for the poor child to be told at home "eat the bun and don't mind the teacher" and have to head into school knowing the bun is there and the teacher might reprimand her again. I just don't see the point in putting the poor child through that. I know my own daughter hates to be in trouble and if I did the same to her, she'd be sick with worry over thinking she might get caught with the offending item.

ash23

Stench Blossoms wrote: »

Where did the OP say anything about the child being afraid to eat the rest of their lunch?

In the OP she says

I spoke with my daughter about it and said she is free to eat whatever we put into her lunchbox but of course now she's afraid of the teacher and is not eating her lunch until after school.

SunnyLucy

run_Forrest_run wrote: »

So we're back into a new school year and my daughter is now in senior infants and was really looking forward to going back.

On day one we find out which teacher is assigned to my daughter's class.
I've heard various stories about this particular teacher but I didn't pay too much attention to them as I wanted to see what she was like myself, no point in believing hearsay either.

My daughter came home a bit upset after the first day. The teacher made all the kids open their lunchboxes and she went through each one and told them they can't eat anything that looked like sweets etc.

Now we baked a few buns (nothing too fancy, no chocolate or icing etc, just plain buns) and gave one to my daughter for lunch (along with a sandwich, apple and drink). The teacher told my daughter she can't eat it!

This was the sort of thing I heard about this particular teacher. She puts fear into the kids over their lunch.

I also understand schools can only guide what goes into a child's lunch, they cannot force what goes in or doesn't go in.
I spoke with my daughter about it and said she is free to eat whatever we put into her lunchbox but of course now she's afraid of the teacher and is not eating her lunch until after school.

I'm thinking of having a chat with the teacher about this, I understand there may be some kids out there suffering from bad nutrition but teachers should not be making a big issue of eating lunch. It is the responsibility of parents to decide what their child eats, not the teachers.

So, what do ye think of this? Has this happened to anyone here?

I agree, she shouldn't be put in the position where she will get into trouble for whats in her lunch box, and like I said before, if the teacher has an issue with whats in the lunch box she should take it up with the parent who makes the lunch and not the child.

And again I was taking issue with the teachers behaviour in general and towards the other children too, and not the lunch box issue, I did say in an earlier post that it was pointless to get in a row with the teacher over a bun!

Stench Blossoms

SunnyLucy wrote: »

I agree, she shouldn't be put in the position where she will get into trouble for whats in her lunch box, and like I said before, if the teacher has an issue with whats in the lunch box she should take it up with the parent who makes the lunch and not the child.

And again I was taking issue with the teachers behaviour in general and towards the other children too, and not the lunch box issue, I did say in an earlier post that it was pointless to get in a row with the teacher over a bun!

I agree with you here that the teacher should have spoke to the parent BUT after the first day the parent knew the teachers stance so shouldn't have put another bun into the child lunch box and told them to eat it if they weren't afraid.

run_Forrest_run

OK, well we've had a lively one here...nothing else really to say without it turning into a points scoring match.
No more buns this week, BunGate has ended. Now, how does one make chocolate souffle

bryaner

run_Forrest_run wrote: »

OK, well we've had a lively one here...nothing else really to say without it turning into a points scoring match.
No more buns this week, BunGate has ended. Now, how does one make chocolate souffle

Lol lol..

Wantobe

My childrens' school also has a healthy eating policy- we were given a list of appropriate and non-appropriate foods ( as well as told no nuts, no fish etc because of allergies). Ironically on the list of appropriate treats for our school are fairy cakes ( buns), non-iced.:rolleyes:

Anyway I wouldn't sweat the small stuff, if I were you, OP!

run_Forrest_run

I forgot to mention, there are countless cake sales throughout the school year where kids are encouraged to bring in money and buy cakes and of course no healthy eating rules apply then....funny that :rolleyes:

Justask

run_Forrest_run wrote: »

I forgot to mention, there are countless cake sales throughout the school year where kids are encouraged to bring in money and buy cakes and of course no healthy eating rules apply then....funny that :rolleyes:

Its a joke

My kids school has banned popcorn, a very healthy food IMO

Why????? cos the cleaner is moaning about it :mad: