Most Useless Superpower?

Jam · 23-08-2011 3:53pm #1

What is the most useless superpower? Now, I don't mean this in an argumentative nerd way that Spiderman is better than Superman, because Batman is clearly superior to both. I mean powers that are hopeless useless and inept.

For example: the ability to talk to ducks.
Can turn invisible, as long as nobody is looking.
Weaponizable body-odor.

Or powers that are useless without a complementary power, the power of flight is useless without super strength and speed. Strength is needed to survive high atmosphere cold and low-oxygen, speed is needed to get anywhere in time, or avoid planes. 'Yes, I can fly! But it's no faster, and just as tiring, as running to Dublin.'

Or what's your useless superpower?

I have the ability to have complete strangers tell me their life story. This can be activated at any moment, in a bar, in the queue at the bank, or waiting for a bus.

chopperbyrne · 23-08-2011 3:55pm

Aquaman

/thread

Rothmans · 23-08-2011 3:57pm

I don't mean this in an argumentative nerd way

How did you think that wouldn't sound nerdy?

Kintarō Hattori · 23-08-2011 3:57pm

I saw the thread title and thought this was about world powers such as the US, China, Russia, India etc....

yupyup7up · 23-08-2011 3:59pm

MELTMAN! with the power to melt........
http://images.wikia.com/superheroes/images/4/44/Meltman.jpg

Colmo52 · 23-08-2011 4:01pm

Sea-man

He gets you pregnant and ruins your day

FatherLen · 23-08-2011 4:02pm

the ability to climb walls with your arse

flutterflye · 23-08-2011 4:03pm

Jam wrote: »

I have the ability to have complete strangers tell me their life story. This can be activated at any moment, in a bar, in the queue at the bank, or waiting for a bus.

This.
I have no idea why it happens.

LorMal · 23-08-2011 4:03pm

Dog Nose - the ability to find out all about people by sniffing their arses

Mickeroo · 23-08-2011 4:05pm

The lad with the useless "Heart" ring in captain planet, talk about a bum deal.

/thread :pac:

chin_grin · 23-08-2011 4:14pm

From 5:20 on.(Only vid I can find).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gRpUoeCtWkU

FatherLen · 23-08-2011 4:19pm

chin_grin wrote: »

From 5:20 on.(Only vid I can find).

you may already know this but the voice of earthworm jim and homer simpson is the same guy!

EverEvolving · 23-08-2011 4:20pm

Captain Compassion maybe?

WindSock · 23-08-2011 4:22pm

Invisible car

chopperbyrne · 23-08-2011 4:22pm

Wonder Woman had an invisible plane.

Mickeroo · 23-08-2011 4:22pm

chopperbyrne wrote: »

Aquaman

/thread

Ara now Aquaman has super strength along with his ability to control sea creatures, always seemed pretty handy in the Justice League cartoons

Paparazzo · 23-08-2011 4:23pm

The guy in X-men that can make spines come out of his face.

Pace2008 · 23-08-2011 4:23pm

I can almost always tell what time it is, with a margin of error of about 5 minutes, without looking at a timekeeping device.

Which isn't in any way useful at all, given that I have a phone and iPod on my person the majority of the time.

Malari · 23-08-2011 4:24pm

chin_grin wrote: »

From 5:20 on.(Only vid I can find).

Ah yes, I still joke about Turns His Eyelids Inside Out Boy with my sister

I also think Irish Psychics Live might do better business if they were Irish Sidekicks Live...

I can watch live sport and make an observation which is then remarked upon by the commentator seconds later. Does this count?

Mickeroo · 23-08-2011 4:24pm

Paparazzo wrote: »

The guy in X-men that can make spines come out of his face.

If I'm not mistaken he can also hurl said spikes at his enemies.

WindSock · 23-08-2011 4:26pm

chopperbyrne wrote: »

Wonder Woman had an invisible plane.

Yeah but there is less traffic in the sky!

Imagine hurtling down the road then some cnt thinks it is all clear and pulls out in front of you...

Fratton Fred · 23-08-2011 4:31pm

It has to be France, surely.

Sofaspud · 23-08-2011 4:33pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wI1UVDOuMqE

Wtf is the point of this?

23-08-2011 4:33pm

chopperbyrne wrote: »

Wonder Woman had an invisible plane.

Was she a carpenter as well! :pac:

Jagera · 23-08-2011 4:34pm

This is a video about Daniel Tammet, however jump to 08:50 and see a guy in a similar position, only with a fairly useless skill. What would YOU do with that great ability?

he can take any date since his bang on the head, and give you the day of the week, and the weather

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AbASOcqc1Ss

Frank Black · 23-08-2011 4:37pm

Sometimes when I'm walking towards an automatic door in a shopping centre or somewhere, I pretend I have actually opened the door myself with my Jedi powers.

I'm 37.

Ruu_Old · 23-08-2011 4:37pm

Heart! Yeah that's why you are always left behind to "look after the plane" while the others sort out the baddies!

Kintarō Hattori · 23-08-2011 4:50pm

Well if I had to pick one it'd have to be...... Captain Hindsight:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rmUZQrvF5o

saa · 23-08-2011 4:56pm

Vapidity Man.

cosmicfart · 23-08-2011 4:57pm

U.S.S.R?

RichieC · 23-08-2011 4:58pm

sarcastic man. He's really really sarcastic.

WindSock · 23-08-2011 4:59pm

Ruu wrote: »

Heart! Yeah that's why you are always left behind to "look after the plane" while the others sort out the baddies!

Ah come on now, he's not totally useless. He also plays football in his bare feet!

mawk · 23-08-2011 6:14pm

Super strength. All that's going to happen is assholes will guilt you into helping them move house every weekend.

Mickeroo · 23-08-2011 6:16pm

mawk wrote: »

Super strength. All that's going to happen is assholes will guilt you into helping them move house every weekend.

All you have to do is pick them up and say "Ask me again."

MetalDog · 23-08-2011 6:23pm

The guy who had "heart" in Captain Planet had a fairly sh!tty power. Everyone else had fire, water, etc.

Jam · 23-08-2011 6:23pm

mawk wrote: »

Super strength. All that's going to happen is assholes will guilt you into helping them move house every weekend.

Then you have to contend with underestimating your own strength too. Think Nintendo Wii EVERYWHERE.

phasers · 23-08-2011 6:47pm

Jubilee from the X Men.

Seriously, she'd only come in handy at Halloween

Paparazzo · 23-08-2011 6:48pm

Ruu wrote: »

Heart! Yeah that's why you are always left behind to "look after the plane" while the others sort out the baddies!

And captain planet convinces him that heart is really important. It's like when someone buys you a jumper for christmas when you're a kid and your mam trys to convince you it's a good present.