Feminine Hygiene and housemates

LegacyUser

Hi, ok this might seem like a weird one but because I find disposable pads very uncomfortable and they tend to give me weird rash and now use reusable pads which I love. Anyway,this means I have to rinse them in sink to prevent staining and then just chuck them in the wash with the rest of my clothes.

The problem is that my room-mates (3 girls early 20s like me) are disgusted by this and don't want me to use them. They don't mind that me rinsing them the sink as long as I use the downstairs toilet but say that I'm not allowed to put them in the washing machine. Am I wrong to stand up for myself on this one? They seem to think that my blood is, like, contaminating the machine or something. It's not even as though they go in with their clothes, we all do separate washes. I mean, washing machines are for cleaning dirty things.

Is it genuinely that disgusting or should I stand my ground?

Sooopie

I'd have said nothing to them in the first place, its your own private business?

ash23

I'd point out that it's quite likely that at some stage in their day to day lives, they would have blood, sperm or vaginal mucus on their knickers so unless you are all going to start washing your delicates by hand in the downstairs bathroom sink, then you shouldn't have to exclude your sanitary items.

Miss Fluff

I've never even heard of these things. I personally would strongly object to you rinsing them out in a downstairs communal sink though. :eek: I don't think it's acceptable or respectful to the people you live with to have a shared sink containing items steeped in menstrual blood.

I get that you need to rinse them out but I think it more appropriate that you steep them in a basin/bucket in your own room before putting them in the washing machine. It's your own business what you put in the washing machine when you do seperate washes btw.

ash23

Miss Fluff wrote: »

I've never even heard of these things. I personally would strongly object to you rinsing them out in a downstairs communal sink though. :eek: I don't think it's acceptable or respectful to the people you live with to have a shared sink containing items steeped in menstrual blood.

I get that you need to rinse them out but I think it more appropriate that you steep them in a basin/bucket in your own room before putting them in the washing machine. It's your own business what you put in the washing machine when you do seperate washes btw.

I don't think they're being left steeping, I think she's just rinsing them. Reusable sanitary methods are becoming more and more common. Personally, I love my mooncup which involves me rinsing it out in the sink and it's no different to someone washing their dirty hands in the sink imo.

LegacyUser

I wouldn't like it. Nobody wants to be reminded of anyone eles bodily functions. Menstruation is a very private function to women. It's not your washing machine, it's a shared one. I completely see their point.

They have every right not to want them going through the machine and being rinsed in a shared bathroom. You do know blood hangs around even on hard surfaces even after apparent cleaning.

Also are they visible in your washing basket and where are you drying them?

You're in a share OP. It's not quite the same as you in your very own home with your own exclusive washing machine.

neuro-praxis

Are you being scrupulously clean, making sure not to leave traces of blood around? If yes, then I have no clue what their problem is.

iguana

ash23 wrote: »

I'd point out that it's quite likely that at some stage in their day to day lives, they would have blood, sperm or vaginal mucus on their knickers so unless you are all going to start washing your delicates by hand in the downstairs bathroom sink, then you shouldn't have to exclude your sanitary items.

+1. Your housemates are being over the top squeamish. I understand that the thought of it gives them the heebie-jeebies initially, but once you actually stop and think it through there is no genuine reason to be bothered with what you are doing.

I think the first responder got it right. Just don't talk to them about it. It's none of their business.

Neyite

isitdisgusting wrote: »

The problem is that my room-mates (3 girls early 20s like me) are disgusted by this and don't want me to use them. They don't mind that me rinsing them the sink as long as I use the downstairs toilet but say that I'm not allowed to put them in the washing machine. Am I wrong to stand up for myself on this one? They seem to think that my blood is, like, contaminating the machine or something. It's not even as though they go in with their clothes, we all do separate washes. I mean, washing machines are for cleaning dirty things.

Is it genuinely that disgusting or should I stand my ground?

Long before disposable sanitary towels came along, women used rags which were soaked and then washed, and certainly used by women from poorer homes (my mother being one)because they could not afford the disposable ones. this is no different. They are being drama queens about the washing machine (maybe not so much about the sink - a basin in your room for steeping, or a basin for rinsing is a nice compromise) I take it you each do your own laundry so these are not getting washed with their clothes? And you dry them in your own room?

Tell them if they ban you using the washing machine for these, you would also like to ban all female underwear and bed linen, due to the other bodily fluids on them. Then start on the dishwasher due to the saliva on forks and spoons...

Ickle Magoo

its gross op wrote: »

You do know blood hangs around even on hard surfaces even after apparent cleaning.

So do most bodily fluids - how many sinks do you know in house shares that never see urine, faeces, vomit, sperm, etc...?

OP,

As long as the sink is being regularly cleaned properly then it should post no greater threat to health than any other sink that regularly gets dirty hands dunked in them. As for not being "allowed" to use the washing machine - presumably they are going to privately launder their sperm covered bedsheets and dribbled on t-shirts and used knickers? Sounds ridiculously squeamish and precious when you think about it.

All the best

Villette

They are being ridiculous. You should explain the science of the washing machine to them.
As another poster pointed out they put dirty things in the washing machine too....that is the general idea of a washing machine. Same with a sink.
What if one of them got sick on their clothes, would they just throw them out? Do they throw out each pair of knickers?
I think they are just being bitchy girls.

Distorted

I am another who has never heard of these things. I mean, I know they existed about a hundred years ago but I never realised there was still a demand for them. tbh I find using anything but tampons quite old fashioned but each to their own. However moving away from the direct issues of washing and using the washing machine for them, I suspect your flatmates are objecting more to the fact that it seems slightly odd to them, and that you are not trying to fit in with them, despite the fact you are sharing a house with them.

I'm with your flatmates on this one. I think I'd find it rather odd and slightly objectionable if someone did the amount of washing and rinsing this antiquated procedure must involve. They have even said that they don't object to you rinsing them in the downstairs loo. Despite the fact that they are clean when they come out of the washing machine, I wouldn't fancy the prospect of handling someone else's sanitary pads when I used the washing machine.

Stick up for yourself as much as you like but in a houseshare you have to come and go to make yourself popular so be prepared to deal with the consequences.

ash23

Just to add OP, I would have basic courtesy about it aswell. What I mean is making sure that the sink is spotless after I rinse them out and puring some bleach down there. And also making sure to empty the machine once it's finished so that they don't have to handle them if they want to do a wash.

Personally I'd tell them I was going to go back to using disposable towels and continue using the cotton ones. You shouldn't have to but for peace and quiet, I would do that.

Neyite

Distorted wrote: »

I am another who has never heard of these things. I mean, I know they existed about a hundred years ago but I never realised there was still a demand for them. tbh I find using anything but tampons quite old fashioned but each to their own. However moving away from the direct issues of washing and using the washing machine for them, I suspect your flatmates are objecting more to the fact that it seems slightly odd to them, and that you are not trying to fit in with them, despite the fact you are sharing a house with them.

I'm with your flatmates on this one. I think I'd find it rather odd and slightly objectionable if someone did the amount of washing and rinsing this antiquated procedure must involve. They have even said that they don't object to you rinsing them in the downstairs loo. Despite the fact that they are clean when they come out of the washing machine, I wouldn't fancy the prospect of handling someone else's sanitary pads when I used the washing machine.

Stick up for yourself as much as you like but in a houseshare you have to come and go to make yourself popular so be prepared to deal with the consequences.

I would have a similar bemused reaction to their usage but I find periods enough of an inconvenience without adding in laundering towels to my monthly torture.:D

You have several good points here, but any house share I have been in, people did their own washing, it was never pooled the way it would in a family in one big laundry basket. So if she is handwashing them, then loading and unloading the washing machine, and drying them in her own room then her flatmates are over-reacting.

Unless op, they are having to handle them -either loading or unloading the machine - thats not fair on them, you handle your own sanitary towels. In any houseshare Ive been in, underwear always got dried on my room radiator, never in the communal areas - thats grand for outer clothes but not the undies.

Penny Dreadful

Distorted wrote: »

I am another who has never heard of these things. I mean, I know they existed about a hundred years ago but I never realised there was still a demand for them. tbh I find using anything but tampons quite old fashioned but each to their own. However moving away from the direct issues of washing and using the washing machine for them, I suspect your flatmates are objecting more to the fact that it seems slightly odd to them, and that you are not trying to fit in with them, despite the fact you are sharing a house with them.

I'm with your flatmates on this one. I think I'd find it rather odd and slightly objectionable if someone did the amount of washing and rinsing this antiquated procedure must involve. They have even said that they don't object to you rinsing them in the downstairs loo. Despite the fact that they are clean when they come out of the washing machine, I wouldn't fancy the prospect of handling someone else's sanitary pads when I used the washing machine.

Stick up for yourself as much as you like but in a houseshare you have to come and go to make yourself popular so be prepared to deal with the consequences.

I agree. I, for some reason, find this rather peculiar. I'm 34 and far far far from being squeamish but just don't like the sound of this. If I had to share a house with someone doing this I'd object too.

Morag

I think they are being squeamish, its a washing machine ffs, if one of them got bird shit on a top are they going to make a fuss., doubt it.

Reusable towels are nothing new, 50/60 years ago it was what most women in the country wore and would wash them by hand and dry them on the line hidden in the bedsheets.
Modern cloth pads are easy to use and wash and are as hygienic as the person who uses them.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cloth_menstrual_pad

You should not have to change what you use for that time of the month but you may have to reach a compromise with your house mates. Just pile the pads in a pillow case when you run them through the wash.

Penny Dreadful

Can I ask OP, why did you even tell them what products you were using to deal with your period? If they didn't know then none of this would be an issue would it?

Neyite

Sharrow,
Couldnt help but giggle at your "give blood" signature.
:pac:

iguana

Distorted wrote: »

tbh I find using anything but tampons quite old fashioned but each to their own.

I used to feel like this, waaaaaaay back in the 20th century. But here in the 21st century it's all about medical grade silicon. Move forward sister, the future is now!

Seriously, what's with ragging (no pun intended) on the OP's preference? Some people dislike the feeling of insertable sanitary wear and prefer towels. The OP may well be one of those people, but disposable towels give her a rash, as she has explained.

Penny Dreadful

iguana wrote: »

I used to feel like this, waaaaaaay back in the 20th century. But here in the 21st century it's all about medical grade silicon. Move forward sister, the future is now!

Seriously, what's with ragging (no pun intended) on the OP's preference? Some people dislike the feeling of insertable sanitary wear and prefer towels. The OP may well be one of those people, but disposable towels give her a rash, as she has explained.

Its not the preference itself that seems strange just that it is a little unusual now. Sure enough, other options give her a rash and so she does what she does to suit herself. Its more the fact (for me at least) that this was discussed with housemates (why would you) and I have to admit, I just don't like the idea of the rinsing in the sink etc. This is irrational I know given all that goes into a washing machine and all that gets washed off your hands in a sink too but :o

OP have you tried a mooncup? It would seem a better option to me.

Sooopie

This thread is giving me the heebie jeebies

mud

Lol at people who "can't understand" why someone wouldn't use tampons/moon-cups. For some people these devices are not an option. Try and be a bit tolerant?

OP I think that your house-mates are freaked because of the unknown. It's bothering them and may make your house-share very uncomfortable.

Why not be more discreet, rinse them in the privacy of your room and wash them in a pillowcase?

Surely what you do and how you deal with your menses is private anyway? Not sure how they found out about what you use? I think it's a bit distasteful to discuss those intimate subjects but each to their own.

Ickle Magoo

Sooopie wrote: »

This thread is giving me the heebie jeebies

That is in no way relevant or even interesting.

In future please ensure your replies are on topic and helpful to the OP.

Be aware that off-topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban from this forum.

If you haven't already done so, please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter.

Many thanks.

Animord

I have just been looking at the Mooncup website and I noticed this bit (re cleaning it):D:-

We do not recommend using a dishwasher, because the detergent used in dishwaters may affect the material the Mooncup is made from on a long- term basis. Also any traces of the dishwasher soap left on the material may affect the vagina's finely tuned environment.
It is important to keep the Mooncup dry after your period and keep it in the cotton breathable bag provided.

They might not recommend it but presumably people do it! OP I think you should offer your flatmates this alternative. Washable pad in the washing machine or Mooncup in the dishwasher... I bet they soon come round!

LegacyUser

Hi, Op here. Thanks for all the replies. I'm still not 100% sure but I think I'm in the right. I'd just like to clarify a few things. I don't leave them to seep in the sink, that would be quite strange. I literally give them a quick rinse after going to the loo and I as I only need them at night (I have a mooncup for the day but it leaks at night) I pop them in ziplock bag in my dressing-gown pocket, bring it to my room and put it in my laundry basket. I also dry them in my bedroom.

Two of the girls are my closest friends so discussing periods or other parts of out private life is not unusual (for us anyway) although I did not tell them about this, one of the girls saw me empty the washing-machine and wanted to know what it was. She then told the others which, while I'm not ashamed of them, did annoy me.

I've also brought up the "your fluids get washed too" point but they think menstrual blood (or larger quantities of it than an average leak anyway) is just different.

I know I could just sneak around but I shouldn't have to worry about being "caught" as an adult in my own home.

iguana

Penny Dreadful wrote: »

I just don't like the idea of the rinsing in the sink etc. This is irrational I know given all that goes into a washing machine and all that gets washed off your hands in a sink too but :o

OP have you tried a mooncup? It would seem a better option to me.

I'm not trying to "catch you out" or whatever, I'm genuinely curious. If you don't like the idea of rinsing the pads in the sink why recommend a mooncup? They need to be washed in the sink too.

OP, you are in the right.

However, I know girls like the ones you've mentioned, and there's no way you're going to be able to logically explain away their "eeeewwwww"s without putting a lot of time and effort into it, and being very understanding of their position.

Someone earlier mentioned putting them in a pillowcase when washing them. Maybe explain that you have no other viable options and could they come round to it if they're always in a pillowcase? Tell them they'll never have to see them and they'll never be free in the machine.

LegacyUser

I'd also have a problem with someone emptying a mooncup in a communal sink. Surely it can be emptied into the toilet. Blood is hazardous waste in case people don't realise. It's all very well doing these things in your own house but when you're sharing you just shouldn't.

It's vile.

iguana

its gross op wrote: »

I'd also have a problem with someone emptying a mooncup in a communal sink. Surely it can be emptied into the toilet.

Yes, it normally is emptied down the toilet but then it needs to be rinsed.

its gross op

its gross op wrote: »

It's vile.

Well what do you want the OP to do? She doesn't have any other option.

All methods of disposing of menstrual fluid are less than pleasant, but it's nature and you have to get over it.

LegacyUser

its gross op wrote: »

Blood is hazardous waste in case people don't realise.

So are mucous, saliva, sweat, and tears in case you don't realize.