Do you mind being single?

py2006

If your a guy who is single, does it bother you? Do you feel under pressure to have the girlfriend/wife and all that entails.

Among my friends I am the only one that isn't in a relationship and/or married. Generally speaking it doesn't bother me but on occasion it gets me down. Mainly because these days I have to head to the pub on my own!

People do question me on this from time to time and it does get a bit irritating. Some question my sexuality and some question my mentality!! :rolleyes:

I guess in your teens and early twenties its all part of the fun but for those of us in our 30's it appears to be somewhat of an oddity if you are not 'spoken for'.

Does it bother you?

OMG Its EoinD

Well I am recently out of a 2 year relationship so being single and 20 is all good ^_^ but there is good and bad for both statuses.

tallaghtmick

Im out of a 3 and a half year relationship now about a year and im 27 with a 2 year old son and jaysus yes i love being single,currently im kinda seeing a woman but im still enjoying not having to commit to anything.

Sonics2k

I'm actually enjoying it.

Been single for about 9 months now after being in two very serious relationships since I was 18, and right now I prefer sorting out my future to be of more importance. As well as focusing on the rare times I get to see my kids from my previous relationship.

I do have a few um, friends, who call over from time to time so the sexual side of things is sorted, but I'm actually quite relaxed not being romantically linked at the moment.
Granted I know well I could end up meeting someone tomorrow! But I'm no rush right now.

Will

I'm 25 and my friends are starting to get engaged or buy a house/apartment with their lady or both. Feel out of the loop, 2 good friends who I hang out with are in serious relationships. Whenever we meet up I feel like a spare t¡t as their ladies are with them and I'm there on my tod.

So yeah somedays it bothers me, I question why I'm not in a relationship and if there's something wrong with me. Other days it doesn't phase me as I keep myself busy with work and hobbies.

Captain Havoc

30 been single for a long time. I was doing a lot of travelling around in my twenties. Mostly OK but it can really get me down, I'm also pretty shy which doesn't help. A lot of my friends are getting married and having kids and I don't have as many people to go out with, also there isn't really that many single girls my age down the pub so it's hard. Online dating is a lot harder down the country also.

Dord

Pretty much the same situation as Will... and same age too. Most of my friends are in relationships. It doesn't bother me much but sometimes it does get me down. I try not to dwell over it too much.

Bobby42

I'm starting to get tired of being single. I've been single for years and I've only had one relationship really.
I had depression for years so no way was I in able to form relationships. It gets me down when yet another Chirstmas or birthday go by and I feel so hopeless.
But I look at the positive side, although I have been single for a long time but at least I've had the time and space to recover from depression and grow and develop as a person.

Wolfe Tone

I'm 19 and single, doesn't really bother me, dont mind being a lone wolf!

Snowie

doesn't bother me most of the time the odd day it gets to me but sure thats only normal.... Most of my friends are married engaged or at least living together way it is....

Miss.Marple

29,female,been single for a long time.The vast majority of my friends are in steady relationships,engaged,married,pregnant etc..us single ones left are a dying breed!!Still at least i still get out a bit as have few to socialise with..does get me down sometimes being on my own tho try not to dwell on it..such is life..plus being single has its upsides..just home from a months hols in South East Asia:D!!!!!!!!!

Xios

Single and hating it.
Ladies, hit me up.

Will

Miss.Marple wrote: »

29,female,been single for a long time.The vast majority of my friends are in steady relationships,engaged,married,pregnant etc..us single ones left are a dying breed!!Still at least i still get out a bit as have few to socialise with..does get me down sometimes being on my own tho try not to dwell on it..such is life..plus being single has its upsides..just home from a months hols in South East Asia:D!!!!!!!!!

Yeah that is a real bonus and something I've taken advantage of not having a significant other. Can get up and go whenever I want and more or less do as I please, money permitting.

Captain Havoc

That is one plus side, I went cycling for two weeks there in July, no way I could do that if I was in a relationship.

TouchingVirus

Will wrote: »

Yeah that is a real bonus and something I've taken advantage of not having a significant other. Can get up and go whenever I want and more or less do as I please, money permitting.

It really is about the only bonus though. Being single does get me down a bit now and then, then again my super-relaxed borderline apathetic attitude doesn't help either :pac:

paky

im quite content with dating 3 girls at once. its a bit like being single, you dont get too attached

TheFullDuck

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

I'm 19 and single, doesn't really bother me, dont mind being a lone wolfe!

FYP

Also 19 & single... have the occasional fling but nothing serious. I prefer playing the field while I'm young :cool:

Cianos

Most guys who are in long term relationships very often wish they were single again. Just make the most of you're situation because many people wish they were where you are!

Will

Captain Havoc wrote: »

That is one plus side, I went cycling for two weeks there in July, no way I could do that if I was in a relationship.

I don't know, maybe a future girlfriend will have similar interests as yourself?

TouchingVirus wrote: »

It really is about the only bonus though. Being single does get me down a bit now and then, then again my super-relaxed borderline apathetic attitude doesn't help either :pac:

I googled "pros and cons of being single" and got this;

pros: being independent and free
cons: being lonely at times

Damn it google!!

weemcd

23, only ever had one serious gf, I have no intention of settling down/becoming half-sensible until I am 30-ish anyway, so it is not much of a worry.

I do miss the regular sex, and when I'm bored it would be fun to have a girl to go for spins with and take to the cinema etc. But I'm in no rush either way, girls my age are generally fulla their own shít.

Wolfe Tone

TheFullDuck wrote: »

FYP

Also 19 & single... have the occasional fling but nothing serious. I prefer playing the field while I'm young :cool:

Same here, plenty of time for all that later

bucketybuck

py2006 wrote: »

Mainly because these days I have to head to the pub on my own!

Join a meetup group (http://www.meetup.com/find/), there are some very good ones about for just going out at the weekends and having some craic. I joined one, and from chatting many of the lads, one common feeling is that they don't need the pain in the arse of a relationship right at this minute.

Me personally, many of my friends are married/engaged/kids these days, and all I can think is "bloody hell, I'm not ready for that jazz, can't I just have some fun for a few more years".

In other words girls, leave the next morning please.

scotchy

Great thread. Im just in from the pub, another night at the bar on my own. all my friends married, evan the ones I thought never would. Im going to regret posting this in the morning, but feck it.



.

ceez

I don't mind at all - I like doing my own thing, and as much as it sounds vain I also enjoy my own company. Most times when I am bothered about being single is mainly down to having friends that are in relationships, I find that my thoughts on being single is very much shaped and influenced by them. Usually it bothers me when I'm in those situations of sticking out like a sore thumb surrounded my couples, occasions like cheesy Valentines Day and Christmas and when they share advice regarding their loved ones (which is most of the time) - and I can't join in because I've no real experience or nothing I can relate to. I also find especially as I'm female that soooo much of their lives revolve around their other halves that I kind of feel it all a bit claustrophobic. Don't mean to be the cupid killer but at my age anyway I just find it very soul and life draining.

I find that the idea of being in a relationship as a very pressurized made-up fact of life. I really don't think you need to be in a relationship to survive. I'm constantly asked "How are you still single?" its not that I haven't had the chance - just my choice or came across no one that special to be serious about. Being 21, I'm almost glad that I haven't really got into a long-term relationship. I've grown up a lot, learned a lot of hard facts of life, became a person that doesn't necessarily have to rely on any one person. One of my friends has been in a relationship since she was 16/17, and she has even admitted to me that she would not be as independent as she would be without her other half.

Not saying it wouldn't be nice to be in one, just I never ever want to feel like I "should" be in one or even more so rely on one single person.

So here's to vanishing the idea of "should" be in a relationship. Sure aren't we all still breathing.

mud

I like being single. I've been single for nearly three years now. My last fella was a disaster so I knew when that ended that I really needed some time to myself!

Most of the time I love it, can do as I please and take off on a whim. Sometimes I miss the intimate relationship stuff, the jokes and the bonding and of course the ridin' but not enough to make me consider another relationship . . . yet.

Also, it's quite rare for me to find a man I'm attracted to so there's that as well.

I'm 32 though so I suppose if I want kids and that whole shebang I should probably put myself out there a bit more. Trouble is, I'm not at all sure about that either so am happy enough to potter away myself

Deedsie

I'm 27, I am so sick of being single it's not funny! One night stands are nothing now. I am actually ashamed of past encounters. I just wanna find a girl I like and stay with her for a while.

ceez

We should have a singles meet up

amacachi

23 and single. Happy enough most of the time, love having time to myself and all that but once in a while it gets a little boring. :pac:

Dravokivich

Don't particularly like it, then again, never really been in a relationship so I'm not sure if I'd like that either.

Malari

Captain Havoc wrote: »

That is one plus side, I went cycling for two weeks there in July, no way I could do that if I was in a relationship.

Well, if you feel like that about being in a relationship, maybe you should broaden your horizons. My boyfriend has just been on a 2 week cycling holiday...without me :eek: Girlfriends are not all leash-holding dragons, you know. :pac:

Captain Havoc

Malari wrote: »

Well, if you feel like that about being in a relationship, maybe you should broaden your horizons. My boyfriend has just been on a 2 week cycling holiday...without me :eek: Girlfriends are not all leash-holding dragons, you know. :pac:

What did he have to do to earn his holiday though? :pac::pac::pac::pac:

Wibbs

Single and prefer it the vast majority of the time so have no current interest in being in a relationship.

Malari

Captain Havoc wrote: »

What did he have to do to earn his holiday though? :pac:pac:pac:pac:

I guess it cost a couple of week's jobs. You are talking money, aren't you? :rolleyes:

py2006

Thanks for all the post guys n gals!

As I said in my opening post, I am happy on my own! On occasion I meet a nice girl (as friends) and often think, 'wow, it would be great to have her as regular company' but invariably nothing comes of it. I think its because I am so used to being on my own that I don't have the body language of somebody who is available and/or looking (if that makes sense). I know one or two girls in the past were initially interested but because I didn't do cartwheels displaying my interest it fizzled out.

I am slightly immature for my age (34), I am a big kid and a cheeky chappie so I tend to go for younger women. Unfortunately I don't seem to attract the women I am interested in at all. Any woman that shows an interest, I am not interested in. That gets really depressing.

I think also, because the job situation hasn't been great for a few years the whole concept of mortgage, marriage and babies is a bit unrealistic for me. Even if I was secure financially I still feel far too young for all that and it scares the hell out of me.

py2006

Malari wrote: »

Well, if you feel like that about being in a relationship, maybe you should broaden your horizons. My boyfriend has just been on a 2 week cycling holiday...without me :eek: Girlfriends are not all leash-holding dragons, you know. :pac:

haha that is true! Although, two of my friends can't leave the house without asking permission from the wife/girlfriends! haha

Malari

py2006 wrote: »

haha that is true! Although, two of my friends can't leave the house without asking permission from the wife/girlfriends! haha

Sure, I know guys who claim they needs a visa to go anywhere too, but it's just not an adult way to do things. And it certainly doesn't mean every relationship is like that.

The only bit about being single I hate is folks trying to set me up, particularly girlfriends of the buddies, I'd love to tell them to get f**ked at times to be honest. Met a lovely girl last week, was all loved up for a few hours, haven't gotten in touch with her since, the following day I was back in my single world and I'm happy out there. I think it's simply not having met the right lady. I'm in no rush at all to do so either.

The difficult part of being single is staying single, most people can't relate to that at all I find.

I don't want to be single in my 50s and 60s though, I'd be fairly lonely then I reckon, aside from that I love it.

Jelly2

Malari wrote: »

Well, if you feel like that about being in a relationship, maybe you should broaden your horizons. My boyfriend has just been on a 2 week cycling holiday...without me :eek: Girlfriends are not all leash-holding dragons, you know. :pac:

Absolutely, I find this a really weird comment - sorry Captain Havoc! Surely there are women who cycle?? And might like a cycling holiday? My husband is a climber, and I climb too! A fortnight rockclimbing is most definitely not out of the question therefore! A woman with whom you click is not going to inhibit you, and if she does, she is not the right woman for you to be in a relationship with...

stateofflux

yep, happy being single at the mo...walked away from a few relationships in the last year from people who were quite selfish & didnt have any regard for other people .. i never understood people who are unhappy in relationships but stick around being treated like dirt becuase of fear of being alone / never finding anyone 'better'...its quite sad

py2006

Yea, some people cannot seem to understand why somebody is happy and wants to be single. A couple of times I would be out with a group and a girl who I don't know would be there and the rest would blatently and obviously introduce us and everybody would be staring. Then for the rest of the night would consist of 'do you like her', 'did you ask her out', 'why won't you ask her out', 'no wonder you can't get a girlfriend', 'a why won't you', ' go on' etc etc

arghhhhhhhhhh!!!

FloatingVoter

36 and lonely. I can survive on my own - but lets face it a meal in a restaurant is out of the question. Why bother without the company ?

It is a spiral - eventually you lose any self-esteem and assume it must all be down to yourself. Oh well - tomorrows another day as the old line goes.

Fauntleroy

I just left a 3 year relationship, and before that I was with a different girl for 3 years too, and I'm enjoying being single. It's just nice being able to chat to any girl you want and not have any pressure or expectations, you're freer to do your own thing. I don't know if it's a case of being on the rebound or what but I do seem to be meeting girls who want to get into a relationship, which couldn't be further from what I want. You have to enjoy being single while you have it, you'll miss it when it's gone.

Will

The setting up thing, friend in work was a demon for it. One woman was walking by and she straight out said "Hey *her name* wanna go on a date with Will?!". She would always pull things like that and was always probing as to what I got up to with myself. For a finish I'd just fed her full of lies

I do see a lot of couples connected at the hip too, that's fine if it's what you are into but wouldn't be for me.

sunflower27

Malari wrote: »

Well, if you feel like that about being in a relationship, maybe you should broaden your horizons. My boyfriend has just been on a 2 week cycling holiday...without me :eek: Girlfriends are not all leash-holding dragons, you know. :pac:

I couldn't agree more.

Why can't you take two weeks to go on a cycling holiday if you are in a relationship? That's a bit of a warped way of looking at relationships. You are obviously going out with the wrong women and are used to being a kept man

previous user

py2006 wrote: »

Yea, some people cannot seem to understand why somebody is happy and wants to be single. A couple of times I would be out with a group and a girl who I don't know would be there and the rest would blatently and obviously introduce us and everybody would be staring. Then for the rest of the night would consist of 'do you like her', 'did you ask her out', 'why won't you ask her out', 'no wonder you can't get a girlfriend', 'a why won't you', ' go on' etc etc

arghhhhhhhhhh!!!

Ugh, that has to be patronising to you in the extreme op

sunflower27

FloatingVoter wrote: »

36 and lonely. I can survive on my own - but lets face it a meal in a restaurant is out of the question. Why bother without the company ?

It is a spiral - eventually you lose any self-esteem and assume it must all be down to yourself. Oh well - tomorrows another day as the old line goes.

Awww, I go for meals on my own. I wouldn't find it strange or anything and so what if other people do. Just because you are single, doesn't mean you can't enjoy a nice meal out on your own.

LegacyUser

Bobby42 wrote: »

I'm starting to get tired of being single. I've been single for years and I've only had one relationship really.
I had depression for years so no way was I in able to form relationships. It gets me down when yet another Chirstmas or birthday go by and I feel so hopeless.
But I look at the positive side, although I have been single for a long time but at least I've had the time and space to recover from depression and grow and develop as a person.

Hi, I'm female but I had exactly the same problem as you.

I couldn't contemplate a relation in the first half of my 20s because I was trying to get over depression and other illnesses. You're so right that a relationship is not an option when you are very depressed, it wouldn't be fair on the other person in the relationship.

But it's hard to get back in the game now I've hit the late 20s so I empathise.

krudler

single for over a year and loving it, I used to wind up in ltr's one after another, 2 years, 3 years, 18 months and 2.5 years were all my last ones with only a couple of months being single between, now I'm just having fun doing my own thing. met girls on nights out but never more than that and thats fine with me, have had enough of relationships for a while, too much drama, compromise, psychotic behaviour and more drama involved. single life is simple and fun.

py2006

previous user wrote: »

Ugh, that has to be patronising to you in the extreme op

Yea its quite annoying! Especially when you have not interest and you don't want to appear to be rude or stuck up!

It pretty much means I can't have a conversation with that person

py2006

sunflower27 wrote: »

Awww, I go for meals on my own. I wouldn't find it strange or anything and so what if other people do. Just because you are single, doesn't mean you can't enjoy a nice meal out on your own.

Meals can be a bit odd on your own! It is nice to have the company!

I often go for a coffee somewhere on my own which is fine!! You can watch the world go by and eye up the talent without getting a slap in the face! lol

tallaghtmick

ceez wrote: »

We should have a singles meet up

90% male 10 % female it would either be a massive gangbang or just fellas fighting over the few women there:p:D