If this was your cat would you want me to tell you?

Cherry Blossom

Well here is my dilemma, I have here a cat collar with a telephone no. I've had it now for a few months and today I am making the decision once and for all whether it goes in the bin and I forget about it or ring the number on it. Now if I ring the number I won't be sparing any of the gruesome details as to how it came to be in my possession and perhaps the person will think twice in future about forcing this decision on a stranger.

This collar came from a partially cooked cat that I had to cut out of the engine of a jeep belonging to a friend of mine with a ruddy great butcher knife.

Thankfully no damage was caused to the engine so that is not the issue, if it was, my friend would have made the call 2 months ago.

So my question is, if this was your cat, would you want to receive this call or not?

(Let's all stick with direct answers to the question please!)

Tranceypoo

Yes, I would want to know definitely.
What an awful thing for the cat and for you AJ, it can't have been pleasant.
Have there been any signs up for the cat missing?

Wolfe Tone

Yeah tell them, if they have kids the parents needn't tell them how horribly their cat died.

Cherry Blossom

Tranceypoo wrote: »

Yes, I would want to know definitely.
What an awful thing for the cat and for you AJ, it can't have been pleasant.
Have there been any signs up for the cat missing?

Nope, but said friend had travelled quite a distance to get here with a few stops at different shops etc, cat was discovered on arrival.

phasers

I don't see what benefit could come from you giving all the gory details, it's not as if the owners put their cat there

I think you should ring though, the owner should be informed that their cat has died.

Tranceypoo

adrenalinjunkie wrote: »

Nope, but said friend had travelled quite a distance to get here with a few stops at different shops etc, cat was discovered on arrival.

Oh gawd, in which case there could be some person in another county frantically searching for their cat. Definitely make the call, as phasers said though, not sure you would need to give all the gory details, to be honest if it was my cat and I had been desperately searching for it, it would be bad enough to hear it had been found dead without being told all the details.

Cherry Blossom

I'm afraid I'm a huge advocate of responsible pet ownership, so they either get all or nothing I'm afraid. If a person chooses to let their pet wander then they accept that it may come to an end like this or that they may never know what became of it. IMO it was entirely their choice that the cat was there in the first place. I am not know to be diplomatic with the truth (as I'm sure most reading this will already know!). I've spent 2 months already trying to decide and if the decision isn't made today the collar goes in the bin. I'm not delegating this to someone else, I'm the person who cut the cat out, so I'm the one who will either make the call or not as the case may be.

Cherry Blossom

I know the above may seem very abrupt but there is no compromise when it comes to my own morals, it's what makes me who I am.

Wolfe Tone

Well then if thats your attitude with regards to responsible pet ownership the obvious thing is to tell them. If you tel them maybe if they get a new pet they may be more "responsible".

Sid_Justice

adrenalinjunkie wrote: »

I'm afraid I'm a huge advocate of responsible pet ownership, so they either get all or nothing I'm afraid. If a person chooses to let their pet wander then they accept that it may come to an end like this or that they may never know what became of it. IMO it was entirely their choice that the cat was there in the first place. I am not know to be diplomatic with the truth (as I'm sure most reading this will already know!). I've spent 2 months already trying to decide and if the decision isn't made today the collar goes in the bin. I'm not delegating this to someone else, I'm the person who cut the cat out, so I'm the one who will either make the call or not as the case may be.

ring them and stop pussy footing around

spurious

If you're ringing them, if you can, make sure you start the phone call off in a fairly solemn way, so that you don't raise their hopes, even for a short while.

phasers

Definitely agree with Spurious, it needs to be very clear from the outset that this isn't a good phone call.

gbee

You've created a serious problem for yourself, you knew this all this time ~ think of the agony of its owners ~ they have probably come to terms that the cat has gone on a journey and may not return.

I might have wanted to bury the remains and erect a little cross and have a family parting ~ now, for those that believe that animals have souls too, this is forever lost to us [as the cat's owners].

Obviously I don't ~ but pet owners can be quite esentric for my tastes so one never knows.

It's not like you killed the thing, even the driver did not kill the thing ~ in this situation these cats are stupid ~ they just won't jump off or run away ~ I went through a few years were all the neighbors' cats decided that my van was the local cat café ~

I think you've left it too long. There's nothing that would convince me now [as the cat owner] that you did not have a part in my cat's demise and it's been playing on your conscious.

I suppose as a get out you might say you only found the collar yesterday and you don't know anymore.

MadameGascar

Pet owners know the risk when they let their animals out of the house. Cats are very different from dogs. Me letting my cats out of the house for a while doesn't make me an irresponsible pet owner. I've had one that disappeared on me, but my other cats are allowed out and they always come home. You can't keep animals locked up all the time.

If someone rang me and said what you intend to I'd think they were ****ing twisted tbh.

Cherry Blossom

Well I'm hoping at this stage all it will be is closure. I guess it's pretty definite I'll be making the call, just thought I'd see if anyone thought otherwise. I have seen quite a few cases of ranting and raving from people on facebook and name calling of people who had knocked down dogs, in one case there was even a reg. no. posted, so I guess my point is that if they decide to shoot the messenger - it isn't going to go down well!

The other thing is that it's a mobile no. so I could call voice-mail directly and leave a message which would at least mean they would have the opportunity to let it sink in and the choice of calling back or not would be theirs.

strandroad

Ring them and tell them them the cat had died in a road accident, that's all they need to know. They must suspect anyway, but there is a huge difference between suspecting and knowing for sure.

verywell

mhge wrote: »

Ring them and tell them them the cat had died in a road accident, that's all they need to know. They must suspect anyway, but there is a huge difference between suspecting and knowing for sure.

+1

Don't think the owners need to know it was cooked in an engine. It would be too much for me to hear if it was my cat.

Just to clarify, I vote to ring them. If it was me it would give me closure.

Cherry Blossom

MadameGascar wrote: »

Pet owners know the risk when they let their animals out of the house. Cats are very different from dogs. Me letting my cats out of the house for a while doesn't make me an irresponsible pet owner. I've had one that disappeared on me, but my other cats are allowed out and they always come home.

You have made that decision for yourself and that's fine as you have accepted that, from my point of view, no-one is ever going to have to deal with making the decision of making a similar call to me as my cat isn't let off my property.

So your saying it's a no for making the call? I'm a little unsure as your meaning got lost in the cuss words there. Hypothetically, I would obviously want to know but my attitude to owning a cat is possibly very different to the person who owned this one, which is why I'm asking this question.

ISDW

If you are going to call them there is absolutely no need to tell them all the gory details that you've posted on here. It will be enough that their cat is dead. They were responsible enough to put a collar on the cat, most cat owners allow their cats to roam free. I'm actually getting fed up with the constant threads on here about irresponsible cat owners who allow their cats out. Cats are treated differently in law than dogs, they are not required to be kept contained and under effective control, people building cat runs etc is a recent thing, until I started going on fora such as this, I didn't know such things existed. My cats have always been allowed out, yes, when we move I will be building a cat run for them, but that is my choice.

There is a thread on here about a cat that is missing from a cattery, that was a responsible cat owner, who is missing their pet dreadfully. Maybe this cat's owners were on holiday and it was an indoor cat, and whoever was cat sitting let it escape. You don't know the details, and personally I think to tell them how horrible a death their cat had is cruel. There is no need for it.

If something happened one day and your dog escaped, because accidents do happen, and that dog ended up dying in a horrible way, would you really want to know? Would it not be enough that your dog was dead?

I think the call should have been made a long time ago, and just to tell them that the cat died in a car accident, because that is what it was.

strandroad

Hypothetically, I would obviously want to know but my attitude to owning a cat is possibly very different to the person who owned this one, which is why I'm asking this question.

I used to have a cat and I kept her indoors but she escaped once and was gone for three days. It was very hard not knowing.

My father also kept a cat who was free to roam as he was a former feral cat who got close enough to my dad to be in the house, but he needed to be outside too to hunt and patrol the grounds. Even though my dad allowed him out he would be devastated if the cat disappeared and I am sure he would want to know.

sambuka41

I would tell them, if it were my cat I would be distraught not knowing. But I wouldn't tell them about cutting him/her out of the engine. I don't think I'd be able for hearing that. The knowledge that the cat died in the engine will hopefully be enough to change their minds about keeping their future cats indoors.

If you dont tell them, then they could have gotten another cat by now and he/she could be facing the same fate. The fact that they had a collar with their number shows some level of responsibility on their part, this could be a hard lesson learned for them, but only if they know.

Cherry Blossom

Right, well I guess I'll be leaving a voice-mail message letting them know that the cat has died in a road accident, if they return the call I'll deal with that conversation as it happens, but if they ask, I will tell them. It hasn't been on my conscientious at all, I've run over quite a few cats myself in my time and had a few that had to be taken to a vet as they (unfortunately for them) were not instantly killed, none of those had a collar or microchip and I assume most were feral so this is not something that was even an option before.

Sid_Justice

What's with your weird attitude to this entire thing?

Someone else's pet cat died on your property (well your friends if it's his car).
You knew about this for 2.5 months.
You should have rang then and explained what happened then.
There are a lot of reasons for this, but I think ranking highly would be a bit of common courtesy.

If you're going to be so petulant and childish about it why don't you just text them

"your kat is dead soz"

All this guff about "compromising your morals" what are your morals at stake here? call credit? Is your entire issue the the principle that "cats shouldn't be let out".

MadameGascar

I don't thinks its your place to give such an awfully cruel punishment to people you don't know, for doing something that I would find hard to describe as being irresponsible. They obviously know the risks of letting a cat outside.
Going into the gruesome details is more than unnecessary, so rather than have to compromise how you roll maybe you should throw the collar in the bin.

Cherry Blossom

I'm of the opinion that if you take responsibility for a life then you do all you can to keep it safe, it matters not that it's a child, dog, cat or a pet fly. I'm not religious so I believe that your time here is all there is. I am only considering this now as my friend took note of the number and I've just found out that she didn't make the call, which isn't required because as everyone else has so graciously pointed out, cats live by different rules.

strandroad

I agree that your attitude is more than a little weird. Letting someone know that you have witnessed their pet's death is common courtesy and would typically be done swiftly and politely, without futher complications. Why the need to dither over it for two months? Or to force an "all or nothing" message? Why hasn't your friend done it in the first place?
You are not obliged to notify the owners of course, but again it's common courtesy and most decent folks would do so without any sort of agonising.

Cherry Blossom

My friend is not interested in animals at all other than livestock she keeps as her job, she does not 'get' that mine are considered family members. She didn't ring because there was no damage done to her engine. I didn't know this was the only reason she took the number and just found out when I asked her today that she didn't make the call. I do not tell lies, I'm not economical with the truth in any way, that's how I am. It's how I was brought up and it's why I answer most questions with, 'do you really want me to answer that? . . . '

strandroad

But you said " I've spent 2 months already trying to decide"?

Honestly, just make this call. It's two minutes, the owners will get their closure and you won't have to think about it anymore. Don't leave voicemail or they might be back with questions. Just give them basic info to deal with and you're done.

Discodog

adrenalinjunkie wrote: »

I'm of the opinion that if you take responsibility for a life then you do all you can to keep it safe, it matters not that it's a child, dog, cat or a pet fly. I'm not religious so I believe that your time here is all there is. I am only considering this now as my friend took note of the number and I've just found out that she didn't make the call, which isn't required because as everyone else has so graciously pointed out, cats live by different rules.

If my friend had taken the number then I would of been asking them, within hours, if they had spoken to the owner. If they hadn't then I would. Either way I would of notified the owner very quickly & I wouldn't of given them the gory details or made them feel responsible. I would try to think how I would be feeling if I lost a beloved pet.

Most of us who post here are compassionate to animals & it is a great shame if we cannot also be compassionate to other humans. If you are going to give the owner the truth then you will need to explain why they didn't get a call when it happened.

I cannot recall an incidence when one post has so changed my opinion of a poster. The owner of the cat may have responsibilities but so do you.

Cherry Blossom

mhge wrote: »

But you said " I've spent 2 months already trying to decide"?

Honestly, just make this call. It's two minutes, the owners will get their closure and you won't have to think about it anymore. Don't leave voicemail or they might be back with questions. Just give them basic info to deal with and you're done.

I'll do this then, yes I thought about ringing them at times during the 2 months and decided to make a decision one way or the other today when I found out my friend definitely didn't. I appreciate that I'm not coming across very clearly and I have no intention of launching into a whole this is what happened to your cat speech, however if it were someone ringing me to let me know one of my pets has died (as has happened on many, many occasions) I will know for a fact that I will ask every single detail over the phone. So if I'm asked what happened, how and where etc. I know how that conversation will go, which is why I am hesitant to make the call.

al28283

Sid_Justice wrote: »

What's with your weird attitude to this entire thing?

Someone else's pet cat died on your property (well your friends if it's his car).
You knew about this for 2.5 months.
You should have rang then and explained what happened then.
There are a lot of reasons for this, but I think ranking highly would be a bit of common courtesy.

If you're going to be so petulant and childish about it why don't you just text them

"your kat is dead soz"

All this guff about "compromising your morals" what are your morals at stake here? call credit? Is your entire issue the the principle that "cats shouldn't be let out".

Agreed, very strange. If the OPs's morals were that strong he would have rang as soon as it became an issue for him rather than starting a thread to see what others think he should do.

strandroad

adrenalinjunkie wrote: »

I'll do this then, yes I thought about ringing them at times during the 2 months and decided to make a decision one way or the other today when I found out my friend definitely didn't. I appreciate that I'm not coming across very clearly and I have no intention of launching into a whole this is what happened to your cat speech, however if it were someone ringing me to let me know one of my pets has died (as has happened on many, many occasions) I will know for a fact that I will ask every single detail over the phone. So if I'm asked what happened, how and where etc. I know how that conversation will go, which is why I am hesitant to make the call.

Look the way you phrase your words is entirely up to you. If it was me I'd simply say that you are aware that the cat died in a car accident and you didn't know they hadn't been notified until today. If they press for details you can tell that it got into a car engine - and leave it at that. Tell them it's all you know as the car was not yours. There is no way they can force you to tell them horror stories if you don't want to.

Tranceypoo

I honestly don't see why you would have to give them the 'gory details', you tell them their cat died, they ask what happened and you would tell them it got caught in your friends car engine, honestly they could work out for themselves what happened. My cat doesn't even wear a collar (I'm afraid of her getting stuck somewhere) but she goes out every morning, cats like to be outside, she doesn't go far or for very often but I wouldn't keep her inside the whole time she'd be climbing the walls, I just can't see how you think it's the owners fault that the cat got in a car engine?

orchidsrpretty

My sister ran a cat over a few years ago, we took him to the vets but it died. It didn't have a collar or microchip so I put up some posters in the local shops. About 3 months later I got a call from the owners of the cat who lived about 30kms away and just saw the notice. They were very grateful to be able to know what had happened to their cat. Its bring some closure. So I say ring them but they don't need to hear the gory details. Why can't you just say that the cat fell asleep in the car engine and no-one noticed. That is telling them without being grusome.

aisher

If my cat went missing over two months ago I would presume it was either dead or had been taken in by someone else. The last thing I would expect is to get a phone call from someone giving me details of its death that happend months before. I would think they were either callous or mad - dont bother phoning them if you are going to be 'honest' - what a horrible thing to even consider.

Mo60

al28283 wrote: »

Agreed, very strange. If the OPs's morals were that strong he would have rang as soon as it became an issue for him rather than starting a thread to see what others think he should do.

The fact that the OP left phoning the cat owner for a couple of months, I do not think OP started the thread worried about upsetting the owner. It looks more to the giving an opinion of the cat owner allowing their animal to roam.

I allow my cats outside and if anything happened I would like to know as soon as possible, as would most people if their pet went missing.

Cherry Blossom

Well I have just spoken with a delightful gentleman, who couldn't care less that his cat is dead. Apparently it was an 'auld nuisance' anyway. Fear not, humanity isn't dead after all!

strandroad

Well done. Feck the gentleman, you've done your bit and this is what matters.

ppink

I am a little lost with the 2 month thing but leaving that aside I would call them and tell them.

I tend to always give the benefit of the doubt with people as I was once in the position where OH left my dog out on the road and only for someone stopped I dread to think............if anything happened there would have been war!!

So I would call them and tell them the cat was found. I would not be going into gorey details but if they were casual about it I would be saying to them that it was very upsetting for those who found the poor cat as it is not nice to kill a pet.

EDIT: just saw your last post............well so much for my benefit of the doubt!!!!!

Little_Focker

Well I have just spoken with a delightful gentleman, who couldn't care less that his cat is dead. Apparently it was an 'auld nuisance' anyway. Fear not, humanity isn't dead after all!

Really?? Strange why he would put a collar with his number on it if he thought the cat was a nuisance :confused

Just for the record I would want to know what happened - well obviously not the gory details as someone else pointed out if you said "your cat was in my friends car engine and unfortuantly he was dead when we opened the bonnet" would be sufficient, if I pressed you for details then you could tell me, but Id be horrified if you rang me and said straight out "Y'know your cat that was missing for 2 months well it got cooked in my friends car engine and I had to cut it out with a butcher knife" Id be pretty shocked that someone could be that cruel to just blurt it out.

Also how do you know your friend wasnt on this person property and thats how the cat got into the engine? The cat may not necessarily been roaming. My cats love going out to smell anyone's car that calls to the house (they are worse than the dogs!) thankfully they never get up in the engine but will get into the car/boot if its left open. Then what if that person went home with my cat and it got away on them and went up in someone else's engine, is that my fault?

planetX

Seems mighty strange that the gentleman would go to the trouble of putting a phone number on the collar if he didn't care less...
Waiting 2 months to call... weird.

strandroad

Little_Focker wrote: »

Really?? Strange why he would put a collar with his number on it if he thought the cat was a nuisance

Could be that another family member cared for the cat and he didn't. Hopefully the information will reach whoever might be interested to hear it.

kildare.17hmr

if your gonna tell em just do it but spare the details. The details wouldn't bother me but im sure it would alot of people. Your cat got knocked down, job done

Sigma Force

The fact the owners had put ID on the cat means they did care about the cat, most people do allow their cats to wander, this doesn't mean they don't care about their cat it just means they are sadly willing to take the risk.

2 months is fine in my book, if I lost an animal I would prefer to know in the end it doesn't matter when at this stage as much it just matters that they have some closure.

There's no need to go in to every detail they will clearly be able to imagine what happened once you tell them where the cat was found.

No point in giving them a lecture most cat owners think they are right and you are wrong when it comes to explaining that cats need to be kept secure so you might as well be talking to the wall with most people.

Tell them, don't give too many gorey details. Yes it's been left on the long finger but all you have to do is be honest and say you weren't sure whether to break the news or not because of how the cat died. It's not your fault the cat died it's theirs so there doesn't need to be any guilt on your part.

*NM good that you rang, perhaps someone else in the family cared about the cat to put id on it. The non winner in this whole thing was the cat at the end of the day. Hopefully at least one cat owner will read this thread and think twice about allowing their cat to roam.

Cherry Blossom

planetX wrote: »

Seems mighty strange that the gentleman would go to the trouble of putting a phone number on the collar if he didn't care less...

Not particularly, I have a neighbour whose cat has a collar and tag as the cat was a fad and it was great fun buying all the stuff when it was new. When the fad got 'old' they added a bell so they could hear it coming in case it sneaked into the house past them when people where coming and going. :rolleyes:

Cherry Blossom

Little_Focker wrote: »

Also how do you know your friend wasnt on this person property and thats how the cat got into the engine? The cat may not necessarily been roaming.

Well the person made a 100 mile odd journey, they started at their own house and finished at mine, they only stopped twice, at a filling station and at a small supermarket/large shop in NI in the town where the cat turned out to be from.

Anyway job done now, thanks for all the replies.

ISDW

Well done for making the call, how typical about the owner's response. I guess sometimes I forget that just because I care for my animals, and so other posters on here, that a lot of people are just callous beings.

It is strange though that the cat got into the engine when your friend was stopped at a supermarket - does make me wonder, if the cat was a nuisance, whether there might be more to it? A supermarket car park, even a small one in a small town, would be a bit busy for a cat to be hopping into engines, usually that happens on drive ways, when its quiet.

Poor cat, and poor you, must have been a horrendous thing for you to have to do at the time.

Mo60

adrenalinjunkie wrote: »

Well I have just spoken with a delightful gentleman, who couldn't care less that his cat is dead. Apparently it was an 'auld nuisance' anyway. Fear not, humanity isn't dead after all!

Just think, if you had phoned the number straight away, as most normal people would, you would not have had to wait over 2 months to prove your point.

amdublin

Yes.

I wish you made call 2 months ago.

And no need for all those disgusting details as well.

Cherry Blossom

ISDW wrote: »

Well done for making the call, how typical about the owner's response. I guess sometimes I forget that just because I care for my animals, and so other posters on here, that a lot of people are just callous beings.

It is strange though that the cat got into the engine when your friend was stopped at a supermarket - does make me wonder, if the cat was a nuisance, whether there might be more to it? A supermarket car park, even a small one in a small town, would be a bit busy for a cat to be hopping into engines, usually that happens on drive ways, when its quiet.

Poor cat, and poor you, must have been a horrendous thing for you to have to do at the time.

Well I guess I've become so accustomed to people not looking after their pets that sometimes I forget that some actually do care. It would have been quite early in the morning so possibly quiet enough and cats have a tendency to climb into jeeps quicker than cars because it's easier to do or there is more space or something.

I'm actually somewhat surprised by some of the responses to this, the cat was already dead, cats get killed every day and no big deal is made about it. It's a regular occurrence that they just suddenly don't come home. If I were to start a thread that I'd found a dog that looked like it was a bit worse off for wear I imagine I'd get suggestions that I should just find it a good home and not bother getting it scanned and in effect 'steal' it. Lot of double standards going on. There isn't much anyone can do for a dead cat, were it still alive it would have been a different story and although I have never found a cat yet that had a microchip I will keep taking them to get scanned.

Cherry Blossom

amdublin wrote: »

Yes.

I wish you made call 2 months ago.

And no need for all those disgusting details as well.

In comparison to what I actually had to do, my description is pretty tame, I doubt many would have stepped up to the mark, so until you are in that situation yourself perhaps you should reserve judgement.

Anyway - over and out!