I need a funny party piece???

Budgieoc18

Hi
I am in a festival for King and Queen of a village, the competition involves loads of different rounds. One of the rounds everyone has to do a party piece....
but I don't have one.... Id like it to be funny because they audience are voting(and they will prob be drunk).

So can ye please give me some ideas of what I could do......no singing or poems.

Thank You in advance.:D

discus

Snake charmer. With your cock as a snake.

RedXIV

Budgieoc18 wrote: »

Hi
I am in a festival for King and Queen of a village, the competition involves loads of different rounds. One of the rounds everyone has to do a party piece....
but I don't have one.... Id like it to be funny because they audience are voting(and they will prob be drunk).

So can ye please give me some ideas of what I could do......no singing or poems.

Thank You in advance.:D

Fart the alphabet

mackg

Drop the pants.

chin_grin

Dip your penis in to a glass of wine and then drink it.

/party.

El Weirdo

Trouser Elephant.

Classic.

fryup

the ancient art of..........fart lighting

Frank Black

Probably not the best forum to look for ideas unless you dead set on getting your cock out.

chin_grin

Belly Savales.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nclw1cHSoJ4

Jaxxy

Do the evolution of dance.

bigneacy

Shít on the coffee table?

You'll be the centre of conversation for weeks.

discus

Stick a banana up your arse and eat it.

Then shoot jizz on the banana peel and kick it into the crowd.

discus

I've got another one.

Walk onto the stage
Put on a crown
take off your clothes
take a handful of laxitives and down them with a beer (needs to be loads)
do the evolution of dance naked while wearing the crown
start ****ting everywhere once you reach the 1970s (night fever etc)
???
profit ROYALTY

bigneacy

discus wrote: »

Stick a banana up your arse and eat it.

Then shoot jizz on the banana peel and kick it into the crowd.

"The Aristocrats"

Budgieoc18

mmmm all very interesting, im a female so doesn't quite fit.

discus

black francis wrote: »

Probably not the best forum to look for ideas unless you dead set on getting your cock out.

Or the female could get her bits out.

Get some crowd participation going... "How many candles can we fit in this gash?" or amaze the crowd with a milk enema.... straight from a cow.

discus

Oh **** you're a female.
I'm going to hell

Turtyturd

Be the person who punches the guitar playing singer in the face.

Yeah Buddy

Rhyme off Charlie Sheen quotes for two minutes - Surefire Winning

Rabies

Moved to Personal Issues so you can be yourself.

Fratton Fred

Has to be a yard of ale. Any women that can do that will earn the respect of all the men present.

Even more so if done topless.

chin_grin

Budgieoc18 wrote: »

mmmm all very interesting, im a female so doesn't quite fit.

Hmm...............ok you'll need a straw. Squeeze your chesticles together put the straw between them and blow. FART NOISES LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!

Phill Ewinn

Shoot ping pong balls out of yer fanny. Or alternatively learn some kind of magic trick.

mathie

Budgieoc18 wrote: »

mmmm all very interesting, im a female so doesn't quite fit.

But if you're an Irish female you can still get your c0ck out.

sensibleken

Three words

O-Kee-Pa

nobody will beat that!

Bipolar Joe

Bring a guitar on stage, and say "I wrote this song when I was two." Then scream for a minute and mash the guitar like a moron.

Run up onto the stage, throw yourself down and roll across it.

Get up, walk over to the mic and say 'thats how I roll'.

Then walk off.

Mr Benevolent

Budgieoc18 wrote: »

mmmm all very interesting, im a female so doesn't quite fit.

Ping pong balls into a pint glass so.

c_man

Put your cock between your legs and pretend you're a girl?

discus

c_man wrote: »

Put your cock between your legs and pretend you're a girl?

Put your legs between your girl and pretend you're a cock?

Cock your girl between your legs and pretend you're a put?

buck65

Re-enact person being eaten by bear whilst chatting on fone.

chin_grin

buck65 wrote: »

Re-enact person being eaten by bear whilst chatting on fone.

Best read in a Russian accent. :pac:

summerskin

try this one, always works a charm, and it's not even rude.

http://www.break.com/index/how-to-build-a-fireball-you-can-hold.html

stovelid

Suck your own shite white

sgb

I've actually seen this done in Amsterdam. Get a dildo stick it in your minge open your legs the full 180 degrees and fire it off like a scud missile, whoever catches it get's a special treat