The funniest or lamest chat up line you ever heard?.

7sr2z3fely84g5

What's the funniest or lamest but yet serious chat up line that had you splutter your drink in shock?.

PseudoFamous

Yarr, I'm a pirate, and I'm here for your booty.

Princess Peach

Australian guy to Princess Peach-

"Would you like an Australian kiss? It's like a French kiss, cept down under."

BadGirl

PseudoFamous wrote: »

Yarr, I'm a pirate, and I'm here for your booty.

SERIOUSLY??? you used that? or it was tried on you?? F*ck! D

Bipolar Joe

Don't scream.

Gummy Panda

Princess Peach wrote: »

Australian guy to Princess Peach-

"Would you like an Australian kiss? It's like a French kiss, cept down under."

If only I was an Aussie

ToddyDoody

'... I think of it as providing a service'

Sonics2k

Princess Peach wrote: »

Australian guy to Princess Peach-

"Would you like an Australian kiss? It's like a French kiss, cept down under."

I tried this one years ago when I'd come back from living in Oz for a few years.

Didn't work, but it was funny as hell so it was worth it.

Ghandee

(best said to a foreigner)

So, have you any Irish in ye?

Her answer, (no)


Want some?

If her answer is yes, want seven inches more?

Vinta81

I got the "what does my shirt feel like?....boyfriend material" line a while ago and it nearly worked :pac:

Conor108

*Rub your shirt*

"Hey what kind of material do you think this is?"

*THEIR GUESS*

"Nah, this here is boyfriend material."

AnamGlas

"Wanna go halves on a baby?"

theneed2rock

You: Are you jamaican?

Her: No, why?

You: Cuz jamaican me crazy!

TheZohanS

You don't sweat much for a fat chick.

D

Excuse me but does this cloth smell of chloroform to you?

Hazys

How many points did you get?

upandcumming

Holding your shirt and talking to your friend about the material...

Ask hot girl: What material is this shirt?
Girl: Emmm polyester? Cotton?
Me: Boyfriend material!

Fuck you Conor108!

trad

As long as I have a chin you will always have somewhere to sit.

Elmer Blooker

Phil Lynott: " have ya any Irish in ya"

"no"
"would ya like some"

BadGirl

My face is leaving in 20 minutes, i'd like you to be on it!!

Ally Dick

Fella puts fifty cents on the table in front of a hot chick and says "Here's the money for the phone call to tell your mother you won't be home tonight"

Ghandee

D'ya wanna dance?

Well fcuk off to the dance floor so I can chat up yer mate!

BadGirl

fella walks up to a girl, winks at her and says you're the lucky winner!!!!

ardinn

AnamGlas wrote: »

"Wanna go halves on a baby bastard?"

FYP

Gummy Panda

Ally Dick wrote: »

Fella puts fifty cents on the table in front of a hot chick and says "Here's the money for the phone call to tell your mother you won't be home tonight"

I just cringed imagining that :S

TheZohanS

Hello, Susie. Your mam couldn't make it this afternoon, she asked me to pick you up and take you home. My, what a pretty dress.

Lawlesz

Work with a girl and had been flirting quite a bit before the incident, was definitely in with a chance. Went to a staff party, got hammered and said; 'Y'know, my mother would love you'. Cringe. Didn't work, and she now avoids me:(

7sr2z3fely84g5

im not fred flintstone but i can make your bedrock..

zenno

REMOVED

newmug

Chit chat over with:

Me: So what do you do?
Her: Nurse (or insert whatever). What about you?
Me: I'm a stuntman
Her: Really?
Me: Yea. You know the way in sex scene's in a movie, you can always only see the actor's arses? Well they're not really THEIR arses, they always use stunt doubles. Thats what I do, so thats really MY arse you see!!!

newbee22

'Do you work at subway? Because you just gave me a footlong!'
I am the queen of bad chat up lines!

jokettle

"You're fooking gorgeous, so y'are", slurred at me while he groped my boob. My own fault for being out at 2am while wearing a dress.

astonaidan

jokettle wrote: »

"You're fooking gorgeous, so y'are", slurred at me while he groped my boob. My own fault for being out at 2am while wearing a dress.

Out at 2 in a dress, Shame on You, What would You mother think!

rafared

Him "when I look at you your body reminds me of a wrench"
Her "Why?"
Him "Because when I look at you I can feel my nuts tighten"

opti76

how much does a polar bear weigh ?????

just enough to break the ice...

Vanolder

Him: frantically searching all his pockets and then turns to girl and says ' oh no, I lost my number , any chance I can get yours?

Potential good ice breaker.

ham_n_mustard

have you a mirror in yer knickers, cos i can see myself in there....

GalwayKiefer

"I might not be the best looking guy here but I'm the only one talking to you."

Thankfully she had a sense of humour.

petes

How's your belly for a lodger?

Manzoor14

hey are you Jewish?? Cos you isreali gorgeous!

is your Dad Mr Jacob?? cos you're a cracker!

Eldoco

Come back to mine and I'll give you the best 5 seconds of your life.

I have a gun in my pocket, we can either do this the easy way or the hard way

My Name Is Milk Ill Do Your Body Good

Oscar the grouch

Hi, the voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you....

dundalkfc10

Are you Jamican, cause your Jamican me CRAZY

blaze1

I pick cabbages for a living... Worked for him as well

Oscar the grouch

lets not turn this rape into a murder...

davoxx

wanna play rape? no? that's the spirit!!

Birneybau

Hi, I'm Larry Murphy...

Batigol

Were your parents retarded? Cause you look pretty special

Mr Benevolent

newbee22 wrote: »

'Do you work at subway? Because you just gave me a footlong!'
I am the queen of bad chat up lines!

Surely you mean a wide on?

Jonah42

*sigh* You'll do.

Pharaoh1

"Hi I suffer from memory loss - do I come here often?"