My husband hates me saving money

needadvi

My husband doesn't like it when I save money. Why would anybody dislike the act of saving?
Anytime I try to save money, he condemns me, tells me it's just stupid and other such things are said until eventually he finds a reason for me to part with it!
Can anyone shed any light on this matter please.

ScumLord

Doesn't trust the banks with money?

Saila

is his name brewster?

stupidusername

He's paying hookers on the side.time for a divorce

EmatoelDiablo

needadvi wrote: »

My husband doesn't like it when I save money. What's the reason for this hatred of saving?
Anytime I try to save money, he condemns me, tells me it's just stupid and other such things are said until eventually he finds a reason for me to part with it!
Can anyone shed any light on this matter please.

Dopey Fool he is XD

looky loo

Just a thought, but why dont you ask your husband why.

Explosive_Cornflake

You are asking us to shed light on what your thinks?

Does he save?
Do you both work?
Are you both earning a similar amount?

The King of Moo

Some people in this country find it hard to distinguish between sensible thrift and stinginess. Have a look at the "stingiest things..." thread. Most of the cases there are genuinely stingy, but you get the odd case of someone wisely not throwing money away yet being called stingy.

Maybe it's a Celtic Tiger thing where people felt the need to demonstrate their wealth.

Maybe you could try sitting him down and explaining why the savings are necessary, and hopefully he'd understand.

needadvi

Explosive_Cornflake wrote: »

You are asking us to shed light on what your thinks?

Does he save?
Do you both work?
Are you both earning a similar amount?

What he thinks, or is their a general reason why people act this way in regards to other people saving money.

He makes his own money and I don't think he saves it, and if he does he doens't tell me.

I make my own money and try to put some away every week.

We both make the same amount of money or thereabouts.

He also complains when his best friend saves money too!!! He says things such as, does he think that that money will do anything and other such things.....

abouttobebanned

I want to hear his side of the story.

and what a silly thread.

tallaghtmick

Tell him to shut his face or you will shut your legs.

Darksaga87

Sure ya cant take it with ya.

Saila

if this is since 2010 or the last six months he is doing it to save the whales, the kids, Ireland or so he thinks

citizen_p

Are you really stingey or...

**Vai**

Questioning your husband?

Marriage fail.

needadvi

I'm not stingey, I buy all the food for the house, all my sons cloths and toys and I put some away in case my car breaks down or in case of emergency! Maybe it is a silly thread but the fact that he has expressed his dislike of his friend saving money too, makes me me wonder -what's his fascination with people saving money?

Monty Burnz

**Vai** wrote: »

Questioning your husband?

Marriage fail.

Neither partner having any idea what the other is doing with their money?

**Vai**

needadvi wrote: »

I'm not stingey, I buy all the food for the house, all my sons cloths and toys and I put some away in case my car breaks down or in case of emergency! Maybe it is a silly thread but the fact that he has mentioned his dislike of how his friend saves money too, I just wonder what's his fascination with people saving money.

His parents weren't murdered in an alley leaving him a massive corporation called Waynetech by any chance?

Monty Burnz

needadvi wrote: »

I'm not stingey, I buy all the food for the house, all my sons cloths and toys and I put some away in case my car breaks down or in case of emergency! Maybe it is a silly thread but the fact that he has mentioned his dislike of how his friend saves money too, I just wonder what's his fascination with people saving money.

...so you are asking random people who have never met him, instead of asking him?

I wonder whether my GF likes dolphins. Can anyone tell me?

Explosive_Cornflake

needadvi wrote: »

I'm not stingey, I buy all the food for the house, all my sons cloths and toys and I put some away in case my car breaks down or in case of emergency! Maybe it is a silly thread but the fact that he has mentioned his dislike of how his friend saves money too, I just wonder what's his fascination with people saving money.

How old are the tow of you, and how long do you know each other?

looky loo

Monty Burnz wrote: »

...so you are asking random people who have never met him, instead of asking him?

I wonder whether my GF likes dolphins. Can anyone tell me?[/QUOTE

hang on I'll start a thread about it Monty...:D

The King of Moo

needadvi wrote: »

I'm not stingey, I buy all the food for the house, all my sons cloths and toys and I put some away in case my car breaks down or in case of emergency! Maybe it is a silly thread but the fact that he has mentioned his dislike of how his friend saves money too, I just wonder what's his fascination with people saving money.

He might be concerned with not being seen as stingy. I know a few people like that, and I think it comes from a variety of sources.
I think for lots of people in this country it comes from not having much money as a kid, and therefore needing to not to be seen to need to save as an adult. Some people seem to think saving money makes you look poor. I can't speak for your husband's reasons, of course.

Monty Burnz

The King of Moo wrote: »

He might be concerned with not being seen as stingy. I know a few people like that, and I think it comes from a variety of sources.
I think for lots of people in this country it comes from not having much money as a kid, and therefore needing to not to be seen to need to save as an adult. Some people seem to think saving money makes you look poor. I can't speak for your husband's reasons, of course.

Reminds me of the Roma who come begging for money with mouths full of gold teeth, which they think make them look well-to-do in their community. The irony of wealthy beggars seems lost on them, but the gold teeth make it a lot easier for me to ignore the pests when they are pushing a cup under my nose.

needadvi

The King of Moo wrote: »

He might be concerned with not being seen as stingy. I know a few people like that, and I think it comes from a variety of sources.
I think for lots of people in this country it comes from not having much money as a kid, and therefore needing to not to be seen to need to save as an adult. Some people seem to think saving money makes you look poor. I can't speak for your husband's reasons, of course.

Thanks for your response.

Mike 1972

needadvi wrote: »

He makes his own money .....I make my own money .....He also complains when his best friend saves money too!!!

Maybe you should just point out them that what other people do with their money is really none of his fupping business ?

Monty Burnz wrote: »

Reminds me of the Roma who come begging for money with mouths full of gold teeth

Are you suggesting they have the gold extracted ?

The King of Moo wrote: »

I think for lots of people in this country it comes from not having much money as a kid, and therefore needing to not to be seen to need to save as an adult. Some people seem to think saving money makes you look poor..

Funny Im (generally) pretty careful with money and I put it down to not having a pot to piss in when I was younger.

zenno

o.p it's time to stand up for yourself. save your money and if he doesn't like it tell him you are saving and thats that. if he doesn't like it tell him where to go.

holystungun9

Darksaga87 wrote: »

Sure ya cant take it with ya.

The catch is that you don't know when you are leaving! Might have to stretch if for a bit.

Monty Burnz

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Are you suggesting they have the gold extracted ?

I'm suggesting they don't put it in in the first place. And I'm also suggesting that I'm not a cow to be milked for cash.

mari2222

explain to him it is your running-away money for the future.

needadvi

Well I have already decided not to tell him anymore, that way he wont be able to find ways of getting me to spend it plus it will save him from becoming unduly upset over my seemingly miserly ways.

But I was was just curious as to why some individuals get so uptight about issues like saving money. It's such a strange thing to get all weird about. :pac:

The King of Moo

Mike 1972 wrote: »

Funny Im (generally) pretty careful with money and I put it down to not having a pot to piss in when I was younger.

People definitely react in different ways to it. Lots of millionaires in this country are careful with their money, and sometimes even downright stingy, which they get from not having much in childhood.
Other people I've come across feel embarrassed about not having been exactly wealthy, and feel the need to always make people aware they're not poor as adults, even if they don't have much money.

You see the same thing with people who had strict upbringings. Some pass that on to their kids and treat them the way their own parents treated them, but others make a point of not doing what their own parents did and being overly-liberal with their kids.

Toby Take a Bow

needadvi wrote: »

Well I have already decided not to tell him anymore, that way he wont be able to find ways of getting me to spend it plus it will save him from becoming unduly upset over my seemingly miserly ways.

But I was was just curious as to why some individuals get so uptight about issues like saving money. It's such a strange thing to get all weird about. :pac:

Seriously, though, what happened when you asked him why he was so against saving money?

needadvi

Toby Take a Bow wrote: »

Seriously, though, what happened when you asked him why he was so against saving money?

Seriously though I have asked a question if you don't know the answer pass on, no big deal! Thanks.

Toby Take a Bow

needadvi wrote: »

Seriously though I have asked a question if you don't know the answer pass on, no big deal! Thanks.

But the answer to the question will help you immensely in solving your problem.

He's afraid you'll up and leave him with your saved money

you should leave him

Coriolanus

You're going to have to give us examples. I mean, if you're drying teabags on the washing line to reuse them you probably are stupid.

needadvi

Nevore wrote: »

You're going to have to give us examples. I mean, if you're drying teabags on the washing line to reuse them you probably are stupid.

Thank you for your very intellectual comment. I can tell your of much use here on boards.ie Keep up the good work!!!

looky loo

Dear Needadvi

Just save your money, dont tell him and stop having a pop at people on the boards.

needadvi

looky loo wrote: »

Dear Needadvi

Just save your money, dont tell him and stop having a pop at people on the boards.

I didn't ask what I should do about the situation!!! I just asked what CAUSES such a situation. Anyway, you should take your own advice coz now your having a "pop" at me!!! :P

JONJO THE MISER

needadvi wrote: »

My husband doesn't like it when I save money. What's the reason for this hatred of saving?

You would never have that problem if you met the right man;)

needadvi

JONJO THE MISER wrote: »

You would never have that problem if you met the right man;)

LOL. Love your username and all!!! hahahaha

molly09

bluewolf wrote: »

He's afraid you'll up and leave him with your saved money

you should leave him

could not agree more. Save the money, that is him having control on you and the relationship. If he is controlling you on this he may be also in other aspects of your relationship.

looky loo

needadvi wrote: »

My husband doesn't like it when I save money. What's the reason for this hatred of saving?
Anytime I try to save money, he condemns me, tells me it's just stupid and other such things are said until eventually he finds a reason for me to part with it!
Can anyone shed any light on this matter please.

Save it, dont tell him....what dont you understand????????

Monty Burnz

needadvi wrote: »

Anytime I try to save money, he condemns me, tells me it's just stupid and other such things are said until eventually he finds a reason for me to part with it!

Maybe he's counting on the state to come in and save you guys if the boiler packs in or the car needs a new engine, like the 'where's my NAMA' negative equity bunch?

Why bother planning ahead and doing the right thing when you can just moan that you are an innocent victim when your gamble goes wrong?

needadvi

Question: My husband doesn't like it when I save money. What's the reason for this hatred of saving?

Narration of what lead up to me asking the question: Anytime I try to save money, he condemns me, tells me it's just stupid and other such things are said until eventually he finds a reason for me to part with it!

I already mentioned not telling him that I save. This was mentioned in a previous post plus I said it well before you mentioned it, I am just looking for causes not so much advice on what to do.

Coriolanus

needadvi wrote: »

Thank you for your very intellectual comment. I can tell your of much use here on boards.ie Keep up the good work!!!

You're.

Edit: On topic, it is kind of important. There are stupid ways to save money, and smart ways. Also, I worry for your relationship that you can't discuss these things in a rational manner with your life partner. Perhaps you should sit him down and force the issue?

needadvi

Difference between making a mistake as you type quickly and just being stupid. That's my opinion anyway! I already have talked with him about this matter, and he has already given me reasons...if you could just read the original post....I would now like to know what other people think. Thanks.

Monty Burnz

bluewolf wrote: »

It was "I can tell your of much use here" that he was correcting

Jesus Christ. My mind is frazzled. I only looked at the first sentence.

I'm deleting that post: we'll never speak of this again.

Jaxxy

needadvi wrote: »

Question: My husband doesn't like it when I save money. What's the reason for this hatred of saving?

Narration of what lead up to me asking the question: Anytime I try to save money, he condemns me, tells me it's just stupid and other such things are said until eventually he finds a reason for me to part with it!

I already mentioned not telling him that I save. This was mentioned in a previous post plus I said it well before you mentioned it, I am just looking for causes not so much advice on what to do.

Ask him what the cause is?

We're not psychic.

Mike 1972

JONJO THE MISER wrote: »

You would never have that problem if you met the right man;)

Joking aside did the OP not try and suss out her OH's attitude to money long before now ???

Its something Id be wanting to do pretty early on in a relationship and certainly a long time before marriage would even be contemplated.

Coriolanus

needadvi wrote: »

Difference between making a mistake as you type quickly and just being stupid. That's my opinion anyway! I already have talked with him about this matter, and he has already given me reasons...if you could just read the original post....I would now like to know what other people think. Thanks.

I still want to know what kinds of things you're doing to save money that he thinks are stupid. If you tell me that, I'll use my mind reading powers to discover what is wrong with him.