What way do you wash yourself?

Mr Benevolent

I was talking to my girlfriend last night about this after she barged in on me soaping up (not as bad as it sounds). I have a sequence to washing myself in the shower or bath which goes:

Shave the face first, then left arm, right arm, chest, stomach, neck, back, unmentionables, arse, thighs and calves. Face gets washed independently and the cloth (a Japanese washcloth, best kept washing secret on the planet) gets recharged at least once during the process.

So, what's your ritual?

Alter-Ego

You shave your whole body in the shower?

newballsplease

Rise of Planet of the Apes- Part 2: In The Shower

super_furry

I bath in the blood on seven virgins daily before cleasing myself in the tears of the damned.

cosmicfart

I got my hand on one of those sonic showers from ST:TNG.....fookin deadly!!!!

biko

Head, shoulders, knees and toes,
Knees and toes.

Head, shoulders, knees and toes,
Knees and toes.

And eyes, and ears, and mouth,
And nose.

Head, shoulders, knees and toes,
Knees and toes.

I sing 'Walking on Sunshine' loudly.

Frank Black

I bathe myself in a mist of Lynx.

tis great for attracting all the ladies.

newballsplease

And how do you shave your back anyway? Fr. Fluffy Bottom

CardBordWindow

I wait for it to rain, strip off and run around the garden until I'm somewhat way clean.

wyndham

Confab wrote: »

I was talking to my girlfriend last night about this after she barged in on me soaping up (not as bad as it sounds). I have a sequence to washing myself in the shower or bath which goes:

Shave the face first, then left arm, right arm, chest, stomach, neck, back, unmentionables, arse, thighs and calves. Face gets washed independently and the cloth (a Japanese washcloth, best kept washing secret on the planet) gets recharged at least once during the process.

So, what's your ritual?

As the priest said to the little boy, Why are you wearing underwear in the shower?

mackg

I fill my mouth with toothpaste, take a mouthful of warm water, slosh it around and spit it over dirty areas. I then remove this with concentrated blasts of the chocolate lynx.

--Kaiser--

With a rag on a stick

amacca

this is me having a wash a couple of years ago:D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctgf5uxBQW8

Mongarra

Shampoo hair, then use shampoo again to wash face, ears, nose, neck and arms. Then soap for chest, underarms, family jewels, legs, feet, back and, finally, bum (I find the downhill skiing position best for the bum washing). Don't know why shampoo and soap - just habit probably.

Rinse all off, wash down walls/panels and step out to floor mat to dry with large towel.

Tar.Aldarion

I have a morning ritual that I need to share. I call it "the terminator". First I crouch down in the shower in the classic "naked terminator traveling through time" pose. With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked) and I start to hum the terminator theme. Then I slowly rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me to proceed through my day as an emotionless, cyborg badass. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy.

FatherLen

strip.
apply water.
apply shower gel.
apply water.
dry.

Mr Benevolent

Mongarra wrote: »

Shampoo hair, then use shampoo again to wash face, ears, nose, neck and arms. Then soap for chest, underarms, family jewels, legs, feet, back and, finally, bum (I find the downhill skiing position best for the bum washing). Don't know why shampoo and soap - just habit probably.

Rinse all off, wash down walls/panels and step out to floor mat to dry with large towel.

Who the hell uses soap nowadays?

YouTookMyName

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

With a rag on a stick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSJQEl5vcAo

jester77

I keep it simple. Shower gel the hair, first round doesn't generate enough lather to make it body effective, so rinse hair. Shower gel the hair again and use generated lather to wash body, arms, legs, etc Rinse, towel off body, throw on clothes and leg it to work. ~10 mins from bed to apartment exit.

carlybabe1

Mongarra wrote: »

Shampoo hair, then use shampoo again to wash face, ears, nose, neck and arms. Then soap for chest, underarms, family jewels, legs, feet, back and, finally, bum (I find the downhill skiing position best for the bum washing). Don't know why shampoo and soap - just habit probably.

Rinse all off, wash down walls/panels and step out to floor mat to dry with large towel.

I applaude you, the only bloke I've heard of that hoses his pubes down the drain

shampoo hair
rinse
condition

attend to any ehem 'grooming' that needs attention
then

three f'f
face
fanny
feet


then apply baby oil generously* keeps ma skin smoooooooooooth



*also, if Ive been liberally pissed off, it leaves the bath like a skating rink
cue the clash/bang/clatter <insert expletitive here> while i sit downstairs giggling like a schoolgirl :cool:












I also noticed no-one else specified washing between the toe-sies...cheese and vinegar anyone

CrazyRabbit

Local carwash...once per month whether I need it or not.
If it's good enough for a €15,000 car, then it's good enough for me.

petes

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

With my eyes closed I crouch there for a minute, visualizing either Arnold or the guy from the second movie (not the chick in the third one because that one sucked)

You visualise two blokes while you are in the shower?

Lando Griffin

Firstly, I rinse myself before applying shampoo and washing my hair thoroughly.
Once all the shampoo is rinsed from my hair I apply Conditioner for frizzy hair and massage through and leave as directed by manufacturer for 10 minutes.
During this spell I use a special exfoliating sponge to wash my face with some face cream.
Then once happy with this and rinsed I proceed down my body with a second sponge, including in correct order arm pits, body manly bits and legs.
After this I use a third sponge for my bum.
Then it a special cloth for my feet to avoid the spread of foot fungi ( if any ).
After all this, I rinse the conditioner from amongst my hair.
I then apply some scented expensive shower cream and exit said shower.
Once dried, I deodorise myself.

Every second day I may have to shave first, which includes getting pre shave and applying as directed, and then to expand hair pores i heat a cloth and apply for 5 minutes. Then I shave with gel and wash with tepid water. After I shower I apply shaving balm and spray with after shave.

All this usually takes no more than 20 – 30 minutes.
Alternatively I drag myself out of bed, spray some deodorant and a splash of water in the hair and out the door.

Frank Black

I knew a guy who used to take a shower after a bath. He claimed that while he liked baths he felt dirty afterwards because you were basically sitting in your own dirt, therefore he had to have a shower immediately afterwards.

Mint Sauce

I have my woman slaves bathe me.

Tar.Aldarion

Insurgent wrote: »

You visualise two blokes while you are in the shower?

Well I find that one penis doesn't cut it.

Lando Griffin

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It ruins the fantasy.

Maybe you shoud upgrade to a shower door, giving your shower the effect of a phone box to reinact the part where he rings all the Conors in LA.

( Turn off your shower when using the shower head as the telephone )

Dr_H.Lecter_

Confab wrote: »

I was talking to my girlfriend last night about this after she barged in on me soaping up (not as bad as it sounds). I have a sequence to washing myself in the shower or bath which goes:

Shave the face first, then left arm, right arm, chest, stomach, neck, back, unmentionables, arse, thighs and calves. Face gets washed independently and the cloth (a Japanese washcloth, best kept washing secret on the planet) gets recharged at least once during the process.

So, what's your ritual?

Do you have a penchant for bananas and swinging tyres ?

Richard Hillman

Counter clockwise

Vicxas

I go head to toe, paying special attention to my precious areas

--Kaiser--

black francis wrote: »

I knew a guy who used to take a shower after a bath. He claimed that while he liked baths he felt dirty afterwards because you were basically sitting in your own dirt, therefore he had to have a shower immediately afterwards.

I'm the same, I'd always have a quick rinse off after a bath

Kojak

I wash myself with water

Tar.Aldarion

Lando Griffin wrote: »

Maybe you shoud upgrade to a shower door, giving your shower the effect of a phone box to reinact the part where he rings all the Conors in LA.

( Turn off your shower when using the shower head as the telephone )

why is the phone peeing in my ear

Kojak wrote: »

I wash myself with water

well la ti da your majesty
i was myself with a rag on a stick

Frank Black

--Kaiser-- wrote: »

I'm the same, I'd always have a quick rinse off after a bath

He was very clean in fairness.

If you touched him he'd squeak (oo-er).

Kojak

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

i was myself with a rag on a stick

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSJQEl5vcAo

smokedeels

biko wrote: »

Head, shoulders, knees and toes,
Knees and toes.

Head, shoulders, knees and toes,
Knees and toes.

And eyes, and ears, and mouth,
And nose.

Head, shoulders, knees and toes,
Knees and toes.

Then Balls.

tony 2 tone

In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

Tar.Aldarion

tony 2 tone wrote: »

In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

where is the cucumber you philistine!

needadvi

Confab wrote: »

Who the hell uses soap nowadays?

Me.

WinstonOno

wet the corner of a towel and wipe me hairy regions....

Stinicker

Nothing beats a golden shower I find!

whatdoicare

I just wait for the new dirt to attach itself to the old dirt and let gravity do the work for me.:D

whatdoicare

Tony 2 Tone,

Do you happen to look like this?

annascott

black francis wrote: »

I knew a guy who used to take a shower after a bath. He claimed that while he liked baths he felt dirty afterwards because you were basically sitting in your own dirt, therefore he had to have a shower immediately afterwards.

I knew someone who did that too. Initials JD

The King of Moo

tony 2 tone wrote: »

In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

I think it says everything about changes in male grooming that I thought this was genuine for more than a few minutes!

Blazer

annascott wrote: »

I knew someone who did that too. Initials JD

that guys an idiot and he's got it all backwards :eek:....
You take a shower first and then enjoy your bath afterwards

jefreywithonef

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=12f3Onr2wyM&feature=player_detailpage#t=134s

carlybabe1

carlybabe1 wrote: »

I also noticed no-one else specified washing between the toe-sies...cheese and vinegar anyone

I don't pay any particular attention to my feet in the shower, I mean, I'm standing in a load of shower gel and water... And I actually happen to have the least smelly feet I've ever come across. I only ever wash them properly if I've been down the beach or something.


I use 2in1 shampoo/conditioner, lather-rinse (and repeat if I'm in an indulgent mood). I then cover my newly cleansed locks in cling film, go out to my front door and rope in a passer-by to follow me to my back garden where I request that they hose me down with gravy left over from the previous night's dinner. Then I wash my face with a foaming gel, the rest of me with Simple shower gel (unscented) in the order of arms, chest, boobs (+ a sneaky self-breast check once a month at the first day of my pill), tummy, sides, back, ladybits, bottom, legs. While I don't wash my feet I do give my heels a scratch to avoid hard skin forming. I use one of those pom-pom spongey things 6 days out of 7, and on day 7 I use exfoliating gloves + I wash my face with exfoliating scrub.

Frank Black

tony 2 tone wrote: »

In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion.

Still working in mergers and acquisitions?

Frank Black

annascott wrote: »

I knew someone who did that too. Initials JD

Different guy - mine was an AC.

Obviously more common than I thought from reading this thread.