Would you be insulted if someone thought you were gay?

stacexD

I have a friend who everyone thinks is gay and it always creeps up in conversation, he usually ignores it then once he has a few drinks gives out about it.

I was just thinking, the majority of people accept gays and have gay friends, but any time I've seen a straight person asked about/being accused of being gay they get fairly defensive or angry.

It's kinda controvertial when you think of it, like the term gay in the actual being gay sense is an insult.

At the same time I wouldn't like people going around saying I'm a lesbian.

It's something to think about though

pebbles21

If they thought i was Gay Byrne i would yes.

brummytom

My mom asked me if I was gay before.


Cheers mom.
Oh, and a teacher asked her whole form if I was 'a bit [did a limp-wrist]'. Bitch.



I've never really felt insulted, more just annoyed tbh.

Cill Dara Abu

Ghey thread

Jesus Wept

Have long suspected that brummytom dude.

later12

Nope. I have an openly gay sibling, which has helped me feel very comfortable about my sexuality. It wouldn't be an issue.

I would probably correct them, though. In the same way that I think gay guys should simply mention their sexuality if sex or women came up in conversation.

brummytom

The-Rigger wrote: »

Have long suspected that brummytom dude.

I'd put money on it.

antodeco

Depends on how good looking the other Guy is

Chuck Stone

No.

Usually speculating that another person is gay says more about the speculator than the person being speculated upon.

Men and women will often use the speculation of another's sexuality as a defence mechanism i.e. s/he doesn't fancy me so s/he must be gay.

Amirani

Chuck Stone wrote: »

No.

Usually speculating that another person is gay says more about the speculator than the person being speculated upon.

Nail on the head. Providing the person being speculated on isn't eating the face off someone of the same sex at the time...

Saila

I think some people are caught up with with gender stereotypes, there are tomboys and lads with what would be considered a more feminine side, and everything in between. I dont act the same around lads as I do around women. Online though both are here and so its a mixed bag what you get with me

Jesus Wept

The-Rigger wrote: »

Have long suspected that brummytom dude.

Chuck Stone wrote: »

No.

Usually speculating that another person is gay says more about the speculator than the person being speculated upon.

Men and women will often use the speculation of another's sexuality as a defence mechanism i.e. s/he doesn't fancy me so s/he must be gay.

I refute this. :cool:

Chuck Stone

The-Rigger wrote: »

I refute this. :cool:

Why Sir?

Bipolar Joe

To be honest, there are only so many times you can be asked if you're gay before it starts to grate on you. There are only so many times you can be asked ANYTHING before it starts to grate on you.

bluto63

Saila wrote: »

I dont act the same around lads as I do around women. Online though both are here and so its a mixed bag what you get with me

I'd agree with that, it's a reflection on the company.

But often people have though I might be gay, I don't take it as an insult at all, why should it be? It's the same as someone asking if I'm into death metal, if I answer yes to either, I'm gay :pac:

Hank_Jones

Have long suspected that The Rigger dude.

I'm in the know. :pac:

Jesus Wept

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Why Sir?

That I like Tom more than a friend. Don't worry, it's all a smokescreen, you hit the nail on the head.

theteal

i weighed in with a yes


it's funny how not ripping your missus off can be conveyed as being ghey these days

stupidusername

Yep I do.i dont like being seen as masculine really.

Chuck Stone

stupidusername wrote: »

Yep I do.i dont like being seen as masculine really.

I like a girl who drinks a pint and can hammer some nails into a bit of wood.

I would have asked my ex-gf to help me moving heavy stuff before my brothers who are big men like meself.

Why? Because she was a fierce practical type of girl. Not a girly girl if that makes any sense.

Kylo Ren

It depends if they thought if I was the pitcher or the catcher.

Degag

A person i know has 3 kids who are gay. 2 boys and a girl although the girl is bisexual apparently.

He's fine about it, even to the point where he jokes that "I have 3 kids and the only one interested in women is my fúcking daughter!"

norris_minor

bluto63 wrote: »

But often people have though I might be gay, I don't take it as an insult at all, why should it be? It's the same as someone asking if I'm into death metal, if I answer yes to either, I'm gay :pac:

I think generally you'll find gays prefer the pounding metronome of the disco beat, er... bluto my dear fellow. rave culture. all loved up, on MDMA and what have you why the f- would we be throwing it down in a pit?! a notoriously homophobic environment, those cavemen!

Laisurg

Na not really, some bird came up to me in a club before and asked me if i was gay, said no and she walked off, was really weird but i didn't care

pragmatic1

Nah. When I was younger it probably would have but as I get older there arent many things that get me worked up.

desertcircus

I had coworkers who were convinced I was gay, largely on the basis of me being better friends with the women than the men and the fact that I made sure my shirts and ties always matched. It was amusing rather than annoying. What was annoying was the fact that they thought I was eight years older than I was...

Pete M.

I was at a 'party' a couple of weeks ago and was trying to crack onto the only lady there.
After probing, ahem, a little bit, I first asked if she was a lezzer then if she was going out with anyone.
She replied no to the first Q and yeah to the 2nd.
She then asked if I was gay.
While I wasn't insulted per se, I was astounded as I thought I was exuding hetero vibes.
And it's not the first time.
But I reckon it's because I'm in touch with my feminine side and the fact that I've done the tranny thing a few times.

But no wouldn't be insulted.

Mike 1972

brummytom wrote: »

Oh, and a teacher asked her whole form if I was 'a bit [did a limp-wrist]'. Bitch.

How long ago was this ?

I would have thought something like that is almost a sackable offence in this day and age ?

ToddyDoody

It can also be a problem to be gay and for people to think you're straight. Examples; Going to see sex and the city movie and getting funny looks, getting the piss taken out of you for viewing artwork in the homeware department of a shop, the odd girl getting very frustrated with you etc. Though you might get away with being bullied in school and with working in more masculine type jobs. Agree with the OP though. Attitudes are known to change slowly for most things -seems to be part of being human.

No

Lord TSC

I've been told a lot of my former school friends have been telling people I am gay. Tbh, I don't care about what people who know so little about me actually think so it doesn't bother me.

stupidusername

Chuck Stone wrote: »

I like a girl who drinks a pint and can hammer some nails into a bit of wood.

I would have asked my ex-gf to help me moving heavy stuff before my brothers who are big men like meself.

Why? Because she was a fierce practical type of girl. Not a girly girl if that makes any sense.

Yeah that makes sense. But did she look like a lesbian?

FTGFOP

No, wouldn't bother me. Unless, of course, the person was homophobic or deliberately slighting me. Even then I would be more bothered that I'm in their company than anything they think.

Mrmoe

I think I would be annoyed more than anything else. I wouldn't mind if someone speculated as long as they keep their opinion to themselves.

Dunjohn

I'd correct them but I wouldn't be insulted. I admit I have some rather campy tendencies so any confusion's probably my fault.

OneArt

Who dear? Me dear? Gay dear? No dear... How very dare you!

Mr. Denton

I'm too fabulous to be mistaken for a gay.

orourkeda

Degag wrote: »

A person i know has 3 kids who are gay. 2 boys and a girl although the girl is bisexual apparently.

He's fine about it, even to the point where he jokes that "I have 3 kids and the only one interested in women is my fúcking daughter!"

Do you have her number?

RussellTuring

I'd be positively delighted. It's a modern day shorthand for saying you dress well and generally look after yourself.

Maybe that's why I never get asked...

Redlion

On two separate occasions, guys have asked if I was gay because they or their mate was in to me. I politely told them I wasn't and the guys had no problem with that. We even had a good laugh about it afterwards. So, I don't see the problem with being thought of possibly being gay. I'm secure about my sexuality and there is no designated rules for why someone should think of another person as possibly being gay. Only insecure people would freak out, if asked, in my honest opinion.

Teyla Emmagan

Well there was that girl with a moustache on the front of the 'Ticket' in the Irish Times last Friday week. If anyone associated my look with hers and made an assumption I think I'd feel a bit bad about myself. The stereotypical butch lesbian is not really reknowned for her prettiness or anything.

Not that I have a moustache.

I swear.

brummytom

Mike 1972 wrote: »

How long ago was this ?

I would have thought something like that is almost a sackable offence in this day and age ?

Erm, would have been about 3/4 years ago I think.


In fairness to her, she had to take statements about me being a dirty bastard; but yeah, I was annoyed when I heard about it.

mickydoomsux

I'm a single guy in his late twenties who lives alone who has no interest in marriage/a long term relationship. I've been in relationships over the years and not really enjoyed it to be honest. I'm perfectly happy alone.

It would be my worst nightmare to end up married with kids or living with a woman long-term. I just couldn't put up with the bull****. I like being able to do my own thing whenever i want.

Inevitably, people presume i'm gay and i've been asked by a few people if i am. I don't take offense because i have no problem with gay people but i find it annoying that people think that you have to be in a relationship or otherwise you're clearly gay and hiding it.

G_R

I have been asked once, when I was 17 or 18. I didn't like it then cos I was really trying to impress this girl, then her mate asks if I'm gay, so I kinda thought, well that's that out the window then.

Don't think it would bother me now though.

EDIT:
Shit, I pressed the wrong option, one of the yeses should be a no.

rainbowdrop

I have the opposite problem, people assuming I'm straight.

It's almost always straight people that make the assumption, thank God gaydar usually works for my fellow muff-divers, so they can tell I'm lesbian (I'm a girl obv.)

Sorry, just cos I don't have a shaved head or wear dungaree's and conform to what people think a lesbian should look like, they assume that I CAN'T be gay. I have long-ish hair AND I even *shock horror* wear make-up sometimes!:rolleyes:

Have heard "but your too good looking to be a lesbian" plenty times (from fellas mainly). I know they mean it as a compliment, but I take it as a pure insult.

jokettle

Skip past the presenter's introduction and go straight to the song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPqdukBk9KM

WindSock

Quite a large percentage have voted that they would be insulted. What is so insulting about it?

lesserspottedchloe

I wouldn't give a crap really-I don't see how it could be seen as an insult unless you're an immature alpha male type whos ego is directly related to female conquests and 'tough man' stuff! I have a lot of gay friends-two that came out to me so I don't associate it with negativity.

However, I can see how it could get a bit annoying. An acquaintance of mine is constantly spreading rumours pertaining to the sexuality of friends/people he's met who arent gay, some of them are in long-term relationships and some are single and on the hunt.

It's kind of like saying their relationship is a lie / they couldn't be truely happy and that you know more about them than they do about themselves. For the single guys he spreads these rumours about it means any girls who've heard this have written him off before he's started He's put in the friend/potential friend zone (notoriously hard to break out of!)

If you call him out on this he'll accuse you of being a homophobe :rolleyes:

Mr. Denton

WindSock wrote: »

Quite a large percentage have voted that they would be insulted. What is so insulting about it?

That nobody's asked them out.

efb

If he was hot and hoping to score, no probs!

Anyone else, mind your own fcuking business!

Wolfe Tone

WindSock wrote: »

Quite a large percentage have voted that they would be insulted. What is so insulting about it?

I think you will find they wont articulate why as they will be attacked for being either homophobic or massively insecure.