Should I go for it?

LOTRL · 06-08-2011 3:19pm #1

So long time lurker here and I have noticed that on occasion you guys in AH can be very useful. :P So here goes.

See one of my friends (a girl,I'm a guy) is more than likely going to the same college as me this September. Well we've been friends for years and always got on great. Basically its only the two of us from our group of friends that going and its quite a distance from home.

So...I was thinking about asking her to get an apartment with me for the year. Now I'm not sure about this because I've heard living with someone can totally ruin a relationship. But I also kinda like her in that other way you know.

So I think it would help with that. Also if she said no then I'd simply be gutted and know things would be awkward after that.

So should I go for it?

Samich · 06-08-2011 3:20pm

ya

neiphin · 06-08-2011 3:21pm

picture ?

neiphin · 06-08-2011 3:21pm

ill get my coat

brummytom · 06-08-2011 3:22pm

You're friends. Nothing wrong with living with friends.

But you're friends. Good luck getting out of the friend zone, because it's impossible.

Gummy Panda · 06-08-2011 3:22pm

yes, yes you should.

Unless you secretly fancy her.

LOTRL · 06-08-2011 3:23pm

Gummy Panda wrote: »

yes, yes you should.

Unless you secretly fancy her.

Well I kinda do tbh. I think she feels the same too. I dunno the whole thing might just be too awkward.

livinsane · 06-08-2011 3:24pm

If you fancy her, don't go there. Believe me.

Mike 1972 · 06-08-2011 3:24pm

OP I could point out to you that AH is about the last place on earth you should come to for any kind of financial/medical/personal advice but were I to do so it would in point of fact of itself constitute advice and this is AH and er........<Head Explodes>

looky loo · 06-08-2011 3:25pm

LOTRL wrote: »

So long time lurker here and I have noticed that on occasion you guys in AH can be very useful. :P So here goes.

See one of my friends (a girl,I'm a guy) is more than likely going to the same college as me this September. Well we've been friends for years and always got on great. Basically its only the two of us from our group of friends that going and its quite a distance from home.

So...I was thinking about asking her to get an apartment with me for the year. Now I'm not sure about this because I've heard living with someone can totally ruin a relationship. But I also kinda like her in that other way you know. So I think it would help with that. Also if she said no then I'd simply be gutted and know things would be awkward after that.

So should I go for it?

Dont you will probably ruin a great friendship.

Gummy Panda · 06-08-2011 3:25pm

LOTRL wrote: »

Well I kinda do tbh. I think she feels the same too. I dunno the whole thing might just be too awkward.

Then probably best to not move in with her. Might be hard to tolerate her bringing back guys she meet if you want her to be more then a friend.

Larianne · 06-08-2011 3:25pm

bad idea.

xxtattyberxx · 06-08-2011 3:26pm

Id have to go with thumbs down, if your just friends totally go for it but seeing as you like her Id stay away from the idea.
It could make your yr at college hell, if she doesnt know/ feel the same way you'll be sat watching her make new 'friends' going out enjoying herself and end up resenting her and frustrating yourself.
Could end up affecting your friendship more than anything. Plus as you said she may say no to living together, imagine living with her, her refusing you, your than stuck to a lease and an akward situation. Ye could very possible become a couple seeing as your the 2 friends who will rely on each other while finding your feet at college.
Thats just my two cents tho

Brennaldo II · 06-08-2011 3:27pm

Telling close friends you really like them can ruin a friendship (one thing I really regret)..

..only do so if you know for sure she likes you back.

LOTRL · 06-08-2011 3:28pm

xxtattyberxx wrote: »

Id have to go with thumbs down, if your just friends totally go for it but seeing as you like her Id stay away from the idea.
It could make your yr at college hell, if she doesnt know/ feel the same way you'll be sat watching her make new 'friends' going out enjoying herself and end up resenting her and frustrating yourself.
Could end up affecting your friendship more than anything. Plus as you said she may say no to living together, imagine living with her, her refusing you, your than stuck to a lease and an akward situation. Ye could very possible become a couple seeing as your the 2 friends who will rely on each other while finding your feet at college.
Thats just my two cents tho

Yeah I was thinking that too.....what about if I just ask her flat out if she likes me too before I mention the whole apartment thing?

Dangerous Man · 06-08-2011 3:29pm

You could sneak into her room at night and watch her sleep while you pull yourself asunder. Great idea. You're sick in the head. Get out.

Lady von Purple · 06-08-2011 3:32pm

Think this through a bit more OP. Yes, it'd be awkward if she brings back guys or outright turns you down. But what if you move in together, and you do get together? Suddenly you're living with your girlfriend of a week. The new-relationship sex isn't going to last too long if you're leaving the toilet seat up, she's leaving the cap off the toothpaste and you're arguing about bills! Move in NEAR her and try it on if you like. Just don't move in with her!

Mickeroo · 06-08-2011 3:34pm

LOTRL wrote: »

Yeah I was thinking that too.....what about if I just ask her flat out if she likes me too before I mention the whole apartment thing?

Dont move in with her if you fancy her. But yea no harm in finding out if she likes you back, try asking her out on a date or something, make it clear it's a date, if she's not into you then forget about it and move on.

WoollyRedHat · 06-08-2011 3:37pm

Has she ever given you any signs that she likes you O.P

looky loo · 06-08-2011 3:40pm

Dangerous Man wrote: »

You could sneak into her room at night and watch her sleep while you pull yourself asunder. Great idea. You're sick in the head. Get out.

this should be post of the day...:)

xxtattyberxx · 06-08-2011 3:40pm

LOTRL wrote: »

Yeah I was thinking that too.....what about if I just ask her flat out if she likes me too before I mention the whole apartment thing?

Take the plunge and ask straight out, all she can say is no and at least it wont be half as awkward that ye wont be living together.
Ye are both about to start college, ye just dont know what will happen. :cool:

el oh el · 06-08-2011 3:41pm

Also if you'd fancy something more than just friendship with her, don't move in with her (don't sh*t where you eat!). Had to live in the same place as an ex-girlfriend for half a year, wasn't the best half year

7sr2z3fely84g5 · 06-08-2011 3:42pm

is her name ciara by any chance?.

wolf moon · 06-08-2011 3:42pm

looky loo wrote: »

Dont you will probably ruin a great friendship.

Whats wrong in turning it into a hot romance and maybe even a long-term relationship?

LOTRL · 06-08-2011 3:45pm

WoollyRedHat wrote: »

Has she ever given you any signs that she likes you O.P

Yeah she has. We kissed before the summer holidays but it never really amounted to much after that. Though we have been texting a lot more lately.

looky loo · 06-08-2011 3:45pm

wolf moon wrote: »

Whats wrong in turning it into a hot romance and maybe even a long-term relationship?

You've been watching too many walt disney movies..........:)

College is not the place to start long term relationships, you only get one time at college and you should be free to enjoy the whole experience. IMHO.

Duggy747 · 06-08-2011 3:46pm

Kidnap her and put her in a well you'll dig in your basement.

Constantly harrass her to put the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again.

Not sure how this will help but I'm sure much hilarity will ensue.

Mickeroo · 06-08-2011 3:46pm

LOTRL wrote: »

Yeah she has. We kissed before the summer holidays

You need to get on that then. What you waiting for?!?

WoollyRedHat · 06-08-2011 3:50pm

LOTRL wrote: »

Yeah she has. We kissed before the summer holidays but it never really amounted to much after that. Though we have been texting a lot more lately.

See, now we're getting somewhere. How did the kiss happen?

LOTRL · 06-08-2011 3:53pm

WoollyRedHat wrote: »

See, now we're getting somewhere. How did the kiss happen?

We were just out with a group of friend at a local festival and after they left and just before she had to leave...it just kinda happened. :P

stupidusername · 06-08-2011 3:57pm

yeah definitely don't ask her to move in with you. make a move instead!

WoollyRedHat · 06-08-2011 3:57pm

Is the smilie how it happened? Eyes closed and your tongue out and see what's she's all about?

LOTRL · 06-08-2011 3:58pm

WoollyRedHat wrote: »

Is the smilie how it happened? Eyes closed and your tongue out and see what's she's all about?

Ha ha I never kiss and te....oh wait.

Alter-Ego · 06-08-2011 3:58pm

For the love of god man, if you want to pork this chick, you can't, under any circumstances live with her. Give her a lash though!

WoollyRedHat · 06-08-2011 4:03pm

LOTRL wrote: »

Ha ha I never kiss and te....oh wait.

Lol seriously though, what you need to do is size up interest so you know where you stand now... maybe you could bring it up some time, just kind of jokingly and see how she reacts or something. If you have noticed she is texting you a lot more than usual, then maybe there is something

wolf moon · 06-08-2011 4:10pm

looky loo wrote: »

You've been watching too many walt disney movies..........:)

College is not the place to start long term relationships, you only get one time at college and you should be free to enjoy the whole experience. IMHO.

Yes, during my entire life I admit I have seen many of them.

I started my relationship in college and, thank God, so far have 13 years of happy marriage behind me.

If both parties like each other and are attractive there is no point in staying "friends".

Be brave, make a move, profit. Try watching some Disney cartoons first...

LOTRL · 06-08-2011 4:11pm

WoollyRedHat wrote: »

Lol seriously though, what you need to do is size up interest so you know where you stand now... maybe you could bring it up some time, just kind of jokingly and see how she reacts or something. If you have noticed she is texting you a lot more than usual, then maybe there is something

Yeah I'm leaning towards the idea of just asking her out and see where it goes from there.

WoollyRedHat · 06-08-2011 4:12pm

LOTRL wrote: »

Yeah I'm leaning towards the idea of just asking her out and see where it goes from there.

Maybe ask her to a gig or something she likes

Logical Fallacy · 06-08-2011 4:12pm

LOTRL wrote: »

Yeah I'm leaning towards the idea of just asking her out and see where it goes from there.

Definitely the better option man.

stupidusername · 06-08-2011 4:13pm

LOTRL wrote: »

Yeah I'm leaning towards the idea of just asking her out and see where it goes from there.

i demand stick man pictures of how this plays out.

themadchef · 06-08-2011 4:14pm

Ride her sideways.

CBFi · 06-08-2011 4:19pm

Do NOT move in with her if you want to be more than friends because it will just frustrate the whole process! it isnt impossible to get out of the friend zone. my OH did it by making me jealous having the effect that I realised i liked him more than friends.ask her out, she's kissed you so she likes you.if nothing much has come of it it's because YOU havent followed up e.g asked her out!So, ask her out and see where it goes but moving in with her will ruin any chances of this working out.

stacexD · 06-08-2011 4:27pm

No, you're gonna be living within a few mins of eachother if ye go to the same college anyway.. living with friends is a bad idea!! You'll end up spending most of the time at eachothers houses anyways if you stay friends..

danslevent · 06-08-2011 4:36pm

Duggy747 wrote: »

Kidnap her and put her in a well you'll dig in your basement.

Constantly harrass her to put the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again.

Not sure how this will help but I'm sure much hilarity will ensue.

Something tells me you'll appreciate this....a lot http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tDgS6qLsVM4

weemcd · 06-08-2011 4:41pm

Tell her you genuinely like her, find out if she feels the same way.
Do not, under any circumstances move in with her, it would ruin your head. Serious.

WoollyRedHat · 06-08-2011 4:48pm

Besides, renting is dead money

Cilldara11 · 06-08-2011 4:50pm

Larianne wrote: »

bad idea.

This.

You'll probably hang out at the start of college anyway while yee meet new friends. Get different accomodation and call over to each other. A bit of distance is a good thing. Living together from the off might suck the craic out of it and result in friendzone pretty fast.

fiinch · 06-08-2011 4:54pm

if you like her that much and plan on telling her, don't move in together. you'll have plenty of opportunity to sound her out in college seeing as you'll be the only people out of your group of friends there, and will be out five nights a week most likely. take your time!

if it all goes to **** and she's not into it then it's not the end of the world, i moved in with a girl i was friends with who came onto me all the time and we just laughed about it

LOTRL · 06-08-2011 5:13pm

Ok Ill just go for it. I'll text her and ask her out.

UglyBolloxFace · 06-08-2011 5:32pm

LOTRL wrote: »

Ok Ill just go for it. I'll text her and ask her out.

So, how'd it go..what did she say? (btw, if you haven't text her already, give her a call instead and ask her out - she'll appreciate the balls, and you never know maybe sometime in the future she will be gobbling on said balls).

Here's some advice for you:

If she agrees to go out with you - excellent.

If she texts you back saying no, just wants to be friends etc - play it cool, don't let your emotions get the better of you.

Just say something along the lines of "Cool, at least I know where I stand now

" <----do not, do not, forget the smiley face. And maybe say "don't let this change anything".

Boom.

weemcd · 06-08-2011 6:21pm

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

So, how'd it go..what did she say? (btw, if you haven't text her already, give her a call instead and ask her out - she'll appreciate the balls, and you never know maybe sometime in the future she will be gobbling on said balls).

Here's some advice for you:

If she agrees to go out with you - excellent.

If she texts you back saying no, just wants to be friends etc - play it cool, don't let your emotions get the better of you.

Just say something along the lines of "Cool, at least I know where I stand now " <----do not, do not, forget the smiley face. And maybe say "don't let this change anything".

Boom.

^ this is a good shout

Should I go for it?

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