Have you ever felt alone

Mc Kenzie

Just wandering has there been a time in your life when you felt really lonely,
im just at a stage where i feel like this, being in a new place away from everyone and everything i know.

what have been your experiences. so i dont feel so bad

gmac102

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

Just wandering has there been a time in your life when you felt really lonely,
im just at a stage where i feel like this, being in a new place away from everyone and everything i know.

what have been your experiences. so i dont feel so bad

Yes even now I do, but I'm trying my best to be ok with it!

aoife_kk

this can happen for many reasons, i am not in a new place but i feel very much like you simply just because of changing interests in my group of friends and people just drifting apart its very difficult to meet new people i think

not a good place to be in

Lippy C

Yes moved from another country left all my friends etc finding it very hard giving it a go but dont no if I will stay at least i have tried....best of luck:)

Stheno

Yep has happened to me due to work, constant travel, or being away from home/office for a period of time.

Can be very isolating.

Mc Kenzie

thanks for replies, aoife im sure youll meet new people things change.
Lippy your same as me, best of luck to you also!

Hang on in there:)

aoife_kk

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

thanks for replies, aoife im sure youll meet new people things change.
Lippy your same as me, best of luck to you also!

Hang on in there:)

for anyone interested a fellow border lady and i are going to start a dublin womens meet anyone intersted please pm me

Mc Kenzie

aoife_kk wrote: »

for anyone interested a fellow border lady and i are going to start a dublin womens meet anyone intersted please pm me

Id be interested, only im in uk ..maybe when im home

x Purple Pawprints x

Yes there definitely has been times when I have felt completely alone even when I wasn't. It's not a good place to be in at all, it's very depressing and it can get you very down. Lately I've felt like this a little bit. I can't seem to find a job and I haven't seen my friends since November. The only person I really have is my boyfriend. I'm very lucky to have him tbh but sometimes you just want a girl to talk to, ya know? But I've realised in the last week or two that being positive really helps. I'm in a better place these last couple of weeks thankfully.

vicecreamsundae

I moved to Canada all by myself a few years ago, and the first couple of weeks were really lonely. I remember walking down the street or sitting in the park and there'd be people my age hanging out and i'd be thinking "please talk to me!!"

I actually used Craigs List platonic section and met up with a couple of different girls for drinks and to play pool, which sounds weird, but wasn't -they were all normal cool girsl, but didn't properly click with any of them interests wise, so we only hung out a few times, but it was still fun, and I'd do it again if I was in that situation.

I went to a bunch of cool events alone, hoping to meet like minded people but I just couldn't start up a conversation with a stranger, and nobody spoke to me. Went to an Amanda Palmer gig, and this girl started talking to me in the line and I was like "Finally! Awesome!". within ten minutes I wanted her to shut up, she was one of the most irritating people I had ever met! However, she comes back from the bathroom dragging this other poor girl who'd come alone and we got talking and totally clicked, arranged to hang out during the week (which it turns out we both weren't sure if it was supposed to be a date or not... haha that's how much I needed a friend I was prepared to go on an awkward date with a girl!) and through her I met tons of people.

So yeah, just go to things alone, and even if you don't meet people at first, don't be disheartened, you will!

Snoopy1

When i first moved to Ireland i felt completley alone.
Then last year i split with the ex (the reason i moved over here.) Had to move to different area, had no friends, couldnt sleep, couldnt eat. Somehow im still here.
I still get days where i wonder if i did the right thing, and feel incredibly lonely.

Black Swan

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

im just at a stage where i feel like this, being in a new place away from everyone and everything i know.

What you are going through is normal. When I moved across the pond to attend university in the States, I felt the same way. It was temporary. I stayed in touch with family and friends -- quite a bit a first -- until I made new friends. Everything is cool now, and loneliness rarely if ever visits my door.

The Sweeper

Yep, absolutely.

For some reason I appear to manage to deliberately build this level of change into my life. Family and OH seem to be the only constants, though now I've found some like-minded friends who move about a lot too, and we rack up the frequent flier miles spending weekends in each other's cities.

Eve_Dublin

Went travelling alone to South America about 3 years ago for a year and I remember arriving to my hostel in Buenos Aires and it was a hostel full of loved up couples who only hung out with each other. I remember walking outside to the big main street (widest street in the world I think..) and sitting down on a bench and crying my eyes out. The loneliness and isolation I felt was incredibly overwhelming, particularly sitting there on that massive street in a strange country thousands of miles from home.

So...I got up, walked back to the hostel, had a walk around and saw a girl sitting on her own. I walked up to her, sat down and started chatting. She'd been travelling alone for 6 months and she gave me a load of advice. Next day changed hostel to a more sociable one and met tons of people.

Moved to Spain on my own 2 years ago and God, I still remember the loneliness I felt. Stuck an add up on an ex pat website and met some great friends that I still have through it. Met friends in an ex pat bar and through language exchanges.

The advice I would give you is to stick your neck out. Put yourself out there and accept every offer to hang out no matter how unappealing it might seem or even if you don't click with the person..you might meet friends of their you click with better!

I promise it gets better and funnily enough, I appreciate what I have now because I went through those super-lonely periods. I understand the feeling though. It's awful Best advice to deal with it short term is to go for long walks. Just get up and do something and try and not wallow in the feeling.

Good luck, chick

Mc Kenzie

wow thanks for all the comments, It musta been hard for you all or still is , but as you say keep on going. It gives me hope anyway.

Yeah for the first time in my life I'm not feeling comfort in work/family due to change and I feel really alienated because of this. Its making me depressed. Some days are good and some days are bad and I'm finding myself being needy/leaning on my partner too which he's not used to either and we're affected. Its stressful as I consider ranting about my relationship/life desperate as whenever I do it I feel guilty!

LegacyUser

Right now: I'm in a new job that I hate but given the sector I'm in it's incredibly awkward to find something else in a hurry. I am really, really down about everything at the moment. I've been forcing myself to be positive for the past 7 months since having a shambolic christmas, but things are getting worse rather than better, and I'm worried that I'm not coping with everything. I made some pretty dramatic changes this year - financially, personally in terms of location and work - and despite some improvements it feels like everything is rapidly turning to sh!t. My personal finances are desperate and getting worse. I made a huge financial sacrifice at the beginning of the year to change things from how they were and it has really not paid off, and I'm so stressed about that, on top of everything else.

When I get stressed I pick at my back, shoulders and arms. At the moment I look like someone attached me with a pellet gun. The problem is, the skin on my face has become very uneven, and I'm terrified that I'll start scratching at that next. As it is I'm picking at the skin under my fringe. I don't even realise I'm doing it until I'm bleeding.

I just really don't want to go backwards, and I feel like I'm half way down a slippery slope sliding backwards rapidly and I can't actually grip anything around me. I've mentioned not being happy at the moment to friends, but I can't really tell them the extent of what I'm feeling because it sounds so self-indulgent to me. And stupid. When I add things up they're not that bad, but they feel so rubbish. I'm disorganised, stressed, irritable, frustrated and rudderless.

Yeah, I feel lonely. All the damn time.

I'm just hoping things pick up soon.

Stheno

All Stalone wrote: »

Right now: I'm in a new job that I hate but given the sector I'm in it's incredibly awkward to find something else in a hurry. I am really, really down about everything at the moment. I've been forcing myself to be positive for the past 7 months since having a shambolic christmas, but things are getting worse rather than better, and I'm worried that I'm not coping with everything. I made some pretty dramatic changes this year - financially, personally in terms of location and work - and despite some improvements it feels like everything is rapidly turning to sh!t. My personal finances are desperate and getting worse. I made a huge financial sacrifice at the beginning of the year to change things from how they were and it has really not paid off, and I'm so stressed about that, on top of everything else.

When I get stressed I pick at my back, shoulders and arms. At the moment I look like someone attached me with a pellet gun. The problem is, the skin on my face has become very uneven, and I'm terrified that I'll start scratching at that next. As it is I'm picking at the skin under my fringe. I don't even realise I'm doing it until I'm bleeding.

I just really don't want to go backwards, and I feel like I'm half way down a slippery slope sliding backwards rapidly and I can't actually grip anything around me. I've mentioned not being happy at the moment to friends, but I can't really tell them the extent of what I'm feeling because it sounds so self-indulgent to me. And stupid. When I add things up they're not that bad, but they feel so rubbish. I'm disorganised, stressed, irritable, frustrated and rudderless.

Yeah, I feel lonely. All the damn time.

I'm just hoping things pick up soon.

You can't just hope you have to do something about it, be it talking to friends, seeking professional help or finding new interests.

Mc Kenzie

its horrible to feel bad, im sorry things arent going good. For me things arend dandy either:rolleyes:...Sometimes it feels the worlds against you, or me to be presice. i made some changes myself for my own good, and then i sometimes wonder did i make the right choice. i suppose i just have to keep going and try.

You say you have freinds there must be one whom you could have a one to one chat with just say how you feel,, so what, your human and we all go through these things.

if it makes you feel better i feel alone to so you are no alone:).

and most people go through it at some part or other

getzls

Only time i felt really lonely was when my marriage was ending, about 2 yrs. Not as much when i was on my own funnily enough but during the break up.

daenerysstormborn3

Moved down the country to be with my boyfriend and soon after the move found myself out of work. It was difficult not having my own money or independence (I couldn't afford to drive at the time) and having no money to visit friends where I used to live and having no money to go out and spend time with new friends. Fortunately though I found a job relatively quickly (only 3 months out of work) and have managed to make some new friends who have made me feel very welcome and always try to include me eventhough they've only known me a few months and they've all known each other years and years.

I have no advice or words of wisdom really, just wanted to share my experience so you know you're not alone.

LittleBook

Oh lordy yes, I've been alone. Years ago I moved to France with my daughter. I was working for a French company here (in Dublin) and when they offered me the position I thought it would be a fantastic opportunity for us ... I already knew people there, the company was going to pay moving expenses, etc., etc.

When I got there I realised very quickly that no-one was going to look after me socially. I remember crying (discreetly) one tough day when I realised there'd been a party full of people I knew from work and not one of them had thought to invite me.

Plus, as a single parent, I fell between the two main social groups ... singles and families. It was complicated to go out with the singletons because when they bothered to ask me (which wasn't often) it was always something spontaneous or extravagant ("let's go to Barcelona for the weekend" jammy gits) which caused babysitting issues and such. And when I did anything with the families I felt very lonely being the only singleton there.

Add to that the general "far from home" depression, it was a tough time.

So ... I became the hostess with the mostess. I started inviting people to my place ... no babysitting hassle, I love cooking, cheap enough to entertain over there ... and gradually I met some of the loveliest people in France who I'm still really close to now that I'm back in Ireland. Even had to shake off a couple of klingons along the way.

It only took one person at first, a guy I met and clicked with completely ... he introduced me to the woman who would eventually become one of my closest friend there ... who introduced me to the woman who would became another of my closest friends there.

Funny thing is I didn't realise how tough it was at the time, it's only looking back I think ... how did you survive that?! :pac:

High Hopes

I have been alone before, yes it was frustrating and sad, but it did make me a stronger person. I got to know alot about myself, and now I don't take any friendships for granted. I think that sometimes you can get lost in a cycle of loneliness, and it is hard to get out of it. However, you can make changes, get out there and try and meet people. I realise this is hard, and may not work the first few times, but you have to try. I realised when you get older making friends is harder than when you are younger, you really have to put yourself out there and be honest.

LegacyUser

Yep, going through it right now
I'm in this horrible limbo period in my life.
I've decided to do something i've wanted to do for a long time, but it means relocating which is causing me so much stress . And the closer i get to the start date the more i start to wonder if i fully understand what i've let myself in for, really starting to doubt myself and my abilities, and just feel really needy and alone right now. Not helped by the fact that my friends are in completely different stages of their life and don't seem to care.

Everyone around me seems really caught up in their own lives, i just don't have anyone i can just talk stuff through with, just to even get someone else's perspective, nobody wants to listen. I just feel so vulnerable and unsure and so completely and utterly alone......have spent the last few days constantly on the verge of tears, really awful feeling

I'd love someone to put their big strong arms around me and give me a big cuddle and a kiss and just hold me and tell me everything's going to be OK. But there's no one. It's time's like these i hate being single. I really hope i'm strong enough to do this on my own.

Snoopy1

Theres an article in the daily mail about loneliness today. The writer says how she used to go to the shops, so she would at least have a conversation with someone (shop assistant)
I do this all the time. Which is why i have wardrobes full of clothes :mad:

mariaa

Hi everybody ! I am in the same position : loneliness.
Yesterday i was walking on the streets and crying . I have the sentiment that my soul is empty . I feel disappointed . A small reason is , i could not learn enough english even i was enrolled to a course . The school where i was enrolled was interested to have more stundents than teachers . We were 20-30 students in one class with different levels .
Nowadays everybody is running , they have other concern , are too serious , they don`t care about intern feelings OR it`s possible to think wrong about this situation .
Big hug to everyone and keep walking ! Let`s think in this world there is people with biggest problems . Try thinking only to people who have count their days to live , those people who can do anything to survive just one day more .

miec

Hi Op

I was in the thick of loneliness during Christmas of last year. I didn't talk to any adults for a week and I thought I'd go mad. The weird thing is after that period it became a steep learning curve for me. I had moved to a rural location to be with my ex so I had no friends, I had started a job where there is just myself and the boss so no colleagues there and I am no longer in contact with my family (long story) so over the Christmas it was extremely lonely. The thing is I got through it, over the months after that I learned to like my own company (I realised I had to) and since then I have got to know a few people on the estate I live plus I signed up for an acting course for ten weeks and met great people plus went to other things. Now I am building up a nice group of friends, threw a party there recently because heck no one else was going to make it happen but equally (most of the time that is) I now enjoy my own company. A situation like this can really strengthen you even though at the time it can feel hellish.

Hersheys

I'm in a massive period of loneliness right now. I could easily rectify it by going to meet my friends in the pub, I was invited this evening, but that would make me feel worse. There is nothing worse than being in a room full of people, most of whom you know (small town), and feeling lonely.

There was a time when I was living with my grandfather, grandmother and an uncle, but still found myself listening to the automated clock on my phone because I was SO lonely. As I got older I found other ways to remedy this, and not all of them were healthy. I almost married a guy from Pakistan because he was the only friend I had at the time.

I understand, OP, I really understand.

I've lived abroad on my own several times, but didn't mind it all that much. Strangely enough, I felt the most alone when I was in college. I lived in halls for 2 years and I just didn't feel part of the gang at all. I've always found it easy enough to make friends but I just felt so out of it at college.

I remember sitting in every Saturday night with nowhere to go (most of my coursemates and flatmates went home at weekends), hearing parties going on all around me and feeling so, so low and alone. I really wanted to join in and go out, but I didn't really know the people and would have been way too shy to invite myself along or go up and talk to randomers. It's the time of my life I most regret - I should have been out all the time and I just wasted it. I wish I could go back now and do it all differently. It does make me appreciate what I have now. With my boyfriend and friends and busy work schedule, I'm never bored or alone. If I feel like going out, I can ring any number of people and go out and do something. When I have a night in now, it's a welcome break from being busy all the time, but I still remember that awful empty feeling of having nowhere to go and no-one to do anything with.

jandm

Sadly it's possible to feel alone a even though there's plenty of people about

ceez

Its incredibly hard - but whenever I have felt like this I have always looked at it as a platform for kicking off to something good and to something that if I can work through it whether it be on my own, through friends, through family, through that song, or through that stranger I have just decided to talk to can make me a stronger and more unique person!

Take for example: I remember starting college - no knew one, new country, and extremely lacking self-esteem, if it hadn't been for those factors I wouldn't be the nearly confident person I am now, that will approach everyone and anyone to have a conversation:D

Its hard, but it is in these situations that make you grow, learn more about yourself, and become stronger. My advice is to get talking