Ultimate Grammar Nazi

Kevin Duffy

I was out enjoying a lovely breakfast with a read of the paper and about to have my coffee, when I discovered there was no milk on the table. Being quick-witted, resourceful and brave, I politely caught that attention of the man at the next table and asked him for the milk. He, being helpful, passed it over.
"Thanks", I eloquently said as he picked it up. "Cheers", says I as it passed from hand to hand.
I poured some in my coffee, cleverly, then passed it back.
"Cheers", I said once more as I extended my milk-laden hand toward him, "Thanks again" I added as he acepted it from me.

So far, so neighbourly.

Then the skies darkened and the perfect storm broke over us. He launched into me, loudly, angrily and with great determination. I had to listen to 10 minutes of why the use of "cheers" was a "non-word, and abomination, a destruction of our (sic) wonderful English language". He declaimed that it was "replacing so many better words in our language, words like 'thanks, thank you and sláinte'".

I offered some debate, I was in a good mood and thought it might develop into a pleasant exchange after all. I offered my opinion that it was an idiomatic use, a reminder of spending a long time in England and had something in common with other languages where words such as "bitte" or "prego" take on a Swiss Army Knife versatility in daily use.

He was neither impressed nor mollified, but seemed to be further energised to start into the use of the term "Boxing Day" and demanded to know my thoughts. When I said I wasn't Christian and didn't celebrate the day, therefore having no opinion, his face said "Well, a non-Christian Irishman, I've heard it all now".

I was finished the breakfast by this stage and stood up to leave. He began to say something else, but he'd lost the audience. Naturally though, I couldn't help responding with "Thanks for that, cheers". His head nearly exploded with the rush of blood. Hopefully he'll have calmed down by Boxing Day.

Next time you moan about a grammar Nazi on boards, think and be thankful; at least they're not attracting the gaze of a busy café full of your neighbours and ruining your breakfast.

TL;DR for you ADDers and people with busy lives? I said cheers, random mentaler went nuts.

That's more of a vocab nazi thing than a grammar nazi.
Also he's an idiot.

RichieC

Just a dickhead.

stephen_k

RichieC wrote: »

Just a dickhead.

LMAO... Kudos

Kevin Duffy

bluewolf wrote: »

That's more of a vocab nazi thing than a grammar nazi.
Also he's an idiot.

Let's join the pedant club together

"In linguistics, grammar is the set of structural rules that govern the composition of clauses, phrases, and words in any given natural language."

Kevin Duffy

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

Let's join the pedant club together

"In linguistics, grammar is the set of structural rules that govern the composition of clauses, phrases, and words in any given natural language."

Yes, structural rules.
Not:

the use of "cheers" was a "non-word, and abomination, a destruction of our (sic) wonderful English language". He declaimed that it was "replacing so many better words in our language

MrStuffins

I really wish your English was worse. That way your post would've been shorter and i'd have been able to get through it without nodding off!

WindSock

Aww. He sounded lonely

And like a douche. Er...

Gombeen.

Kevin Duffy

bluewolf wrote: »

Yes, structural rules.
Not:

What's the confusion? He criticised my use of the word "cheers", the use of words is a facet of grammar, therefore he was criticising my grammar, AKA, a grammar Nazi.

PseudoFamous

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

When I said I wasn't Christian and didn't celebrate the day, therefore having no opinion, his face said "Well, a non-Christian Irishman, I've heard it all now".

He really must not have very many friends.

Kevin Duffy

MrStuffins wrote: »

I really wish your English was worse. That way your post would've been shorter and i'd have been able to get through it without nodding off!

Scroll a little, there's a TL;DR version at the bottom of the OP. You're welcome.

MrStuffins

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

Ultimate Grammar Nazi

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

Let's join the pedant club together

"In linguistics, grammar is the set of structural rules that govern the composition of clauses, phrases, and words in any given natural language."

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

What's the confusion? He criticised my use of the word "cheers", the use of words is a facet of grammar, therefore he was criticising my grammar, AKA, a grammar Nazi.

How's the ironing coming along?

newmug

I despise the use of the word cheers, or "chairs" as its pronounced in these parts!

theboss80

words such as "bitte" or "prego"

WTF do they mean?

MrStuffins

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

Hopefully he'll have calmed down by Boxing Day.

Erm...........

ejmaztec

MrStuffins wrote: »

Erm...........

It's the proper name for St Stephen's day, silly.

Kevin Duffy

MrStuffins wrote: »

How's the ironing coming along?

Answering questions is being a grammar Nazi, is it?

MrStuffins

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

Answering questions is being a grammar Nazi, is it?

Nope. Neither is saying the word "cheers" is a non-word though.

Kevin Duffy

MrStuffins wrote: »

Erm...........

You have a problem with my ironic use of one of the terms he challenged me about? You're trying a bit too hard to find fault here.

Kevin Duffy

MrStuffins wrote: »

Nope. Neither is saying the word "cheers" is a non-word though.

Had that been the only thing he said, perhaps you might have a point, but it wasn't and you don't.

MrStuffins

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smWfPhb-hZ8

losthorizon

Languages continually change. Its the reason why we have difficulty in understanding old plays for instance - many of the words have changed or acquired new meanings. Anything that doesnt evolves dies. Simple as that.

seanbmc

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

I
"Well, a non-Christian Irishman, I've heard it all now".

:rolleyes:

I'd have loved if he had said that to me.

BQQ

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

I was out enjoying a lovely breakfast with a read of the paper and about to have my coffee, when I discovered there was no milk on the table. Being quick-witted, resourceful and brave, I politely caught that attention of the man at the next table and asked him for the milk. He, being helpful, passed it over.
"Thanks", I eloquently said as he picked it up. "Cheers", says I as it passed from hand to hand.
I poured some in my coffee, cleverly, then passed it back.
"Cheers", I said once more as I extended my milk-laden hand toward him, "Thanks again" I added as he acepted it from me.

So far, so neighbourly.

Then the skies darkened and the perfect storm broke over us. He launched into me, loudly, angrily and with great determination. I had to listen to 10 minutes of why the use of "cheers" was a "non-word, and abomination, a destruction of our (sic) wonderful English language". He declaimed that it was "replacing so many better words in our language, words like 'thanks, thank you and sláinte'".

I offered some debate, I was in a good mood and thought it might develop into a pleasant exchange after all. I offered my opinion that it was an idiomatic use, a reminder of spending a long time in England and had something in common with other languages where words such as "bitte" or "prego" take on a Swiss Army Knife versatility in daily use.

He was neither impressed nor mollified, but seemed to be further energised to start into the use of the term "Boxing Day" and demanded to know my thoughts. When I said I wasn't Christian and didn't celebrate the day, therefore having no opinion, his face said "Well, a non-Christian Irishman, I've heard it all now".

I was finished the breakfast by this stage and stood up to leave. He began to say something else, but he'd lost the audience. Naturally though, I couldn't help responding with "Thanks for that, cheers". His head nearly exploded with the rush of blood. Hopefully he'll have calmed down by Boxing Day.

Next time you moan about a grammar Nazi on boards, think and be thankful; at least they're not attracting the gaze of a busy café full of your neighbours and ruining your breakfast.

TL;DR for you ADDers and people with busy lives? I said cheers, random mentaler went nuts.

accepted :mad::mad:

:pac:

Kevin Duffy

BQQ wrote: »

accepted :mad::mad:

:pac:

Lovin' your work.

tallaghtmick

He could be the same guy that ripped into me for not using the "Queens English" I laughed and said "well im Irish and im fluent in that are you" his reply of "no" was greeted with a laugh and a strut.

ejmaztec

tallaghtmick wrote: »

He could be the same guy that ripped into me for not using the "Queens English" I laughed and said "well im Irish and im fluent in that are you" his reply of "no" was greeted with a laugh and a strut.

Did he want you to be a bit more camp, like Graham Norton?

Liam Byrne

ejmaztec wrote: »

MrStuffins wrote: »

Erm...........

It's the proper name for St Stephen's day, silly.

Not in this country it isn't!

Iwasfrozen

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Not in this country it isn't!

Say's who? I'm not religious so I don't celebrate St. Stephen's day.

im invisible

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

a destruction of our (sic) wonderful English language".
.

ou're??

pickarooney

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

What's the confusion? He criticised my use of the word "cheers", the use of words is a facet of grammar, therefore he was criticising my grammar, AKA, a grammar Nazi.

No.

Kevin Duffy

pickarooney wrote: »

No.

Well argued, but you're wrong.

Cheers.

annascott

The guy is obviously crazy. Even if he is correct in what he says, voicing this to an absolute stranger, where the only link is passing milk is wholly inappropriate.
I am a grammar nazi and have these types of conversations with friends and/or colleagues who feel the same way, but picking on random strangers is really mentally unstable.

Pherekydes

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

I was...
TL;DR

Much ado about nothing...


Also, you "...poured some [milk] in my coffee, cleverly, then passed it back."

Like, wtf? How do you pour milk in your coffee cleverly?

Kevin Duffy

Pherekydes wrote: »

Also, you "...poured some [milk] in my coffee, cleverly, then passed it back."

Like, wtf? How do you pour milk in your coffee cleverly?

It's a joke, just like saying I bravely asked for it was.

Caliden

So many trolls in this thread.

Fair play for keeping calm about it OP, that guy would've got all 5 seconds of my time.

ejmaztec

Liam Byrne wrote: »

Not in this country it isn't!

:pac:

Chuck Stone

Diction would be a better choice of word, to describe speaking, than grammar.

I'm only saying this as you're arguing that you're right when you're not.

I'm neither a grammar nor diction Nazi btw.

Kevin Duffy

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Diction would be a better choice of word, to describe speaking, than grammar.

I'm only saying this as you're arguing that you're right when you're not.

I'm neither a grammar nor diction Nazi btw.

No it wouldn't. Diction is normally taken to mean enunciation, inflection, accent etc. which wasn't what he criticised.

Grammar includes the use of words, not just the structure of language, so he criticised my grammar.

I'll continue to say I'm right, 'cos I'm right. Even if I wasn't, the choice of the term grammar Nazi made perfect sense to all but the pedants who wanted to be critical.

arybvtcw0eolkf

I notice you dropped a few clangers last night too Kevin, but I didn't like to say anything..

For the record, and for future reference its;

"young lady, I can not help but notice you've got beautiful breasts"

and not

"Here you've bleed'n lovely tits, gizza a feel".

:cool:

Talk soon.

Kevin Duffy

Ernest Mealy Papier-mache wrote: »

I notice you dropped a few clangers last night too Kevin, but I didn't like to say anything..

For the record, and for future reference its;

"young lady, I can not help but notice you've got beautiful breasts"

and not

"Here you've bleed'n lovely tits, gizza a feel".

:cool:

Talk soon.

I was dazzled by her nipple piercing and forgot my manners!

Sardonicat

Ernest Mealy Papier-mache wrote: »

I notice you dropped a few clangers last night too Kevin, but I didn't like to say anything..

For the record, and for future reference its;

For future reference, it's "it's". "Its" is possesive.

/Strides off in her grammar Nazi jackboots.

El Siglo

What was the whole boxing day thing? Did he have a problem with people saying boxing day or what?

Kevin Duffy

El Siglo wrote: »

What was the whole boxing day thing? Did he have a problem with people saying boxing day or what?

That seemed to be the point alright.

hondasam

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

That seemed to be the point alright.

I'm guilty of saying cheers and Boxing day.

He was a dick head, could be your future father in law.:D

Trevor451

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4vf8N6GpdM

Kevin Duffy

hondasam wrote: »

I'm guilty of saying cheers and Boxing day.

He was a dick head, could be your future father in law.:D

Family events would be lively!

Lapin

seanbmc wrote: »

:rolleyes:

I'd have loved if he had said that to me.

He didn't say it though.

It was his face that said it.

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

When I said I wasn't Christian and didn't celebrate the day, therefore having no opinion, his face said "Well, a non-Christian Irishman, I've heard it all now".

See ^^^

The chap needs to sit down and have a serious word with that face of his.

mikedone

El Siglo wrote: »

What was the whole boxing day thing? Did he have a problem with people saying boxing day or what?

A mate of mine has a colleague who detests the phrase "Boxing Day" then calls it "St. Stephen's's Day"! :rolleyes:

Sardonicat

mikedone wrote: »

A mate of mine has a colleague who detests the phrase "Boxing Day" then calls it "St. Stephen's's Day"! :rolleyes:

Ah yes, the oul "St Stephen'esisis Day". It's what you call the day after Christmas Day if you don't want people to think you're :eek:ENGLISH:eek:

xzanti

While we're on the subject of weird randomers.. Myself and the OH bumped into a humdinger last night in a bar..

Sitting alone at the bar reading a book about how to win at gambling or some shíte, my slightly over sociable comrade decided to spark up a conversation with him while I was in the toilet..

He seemed harmless enough to begin with, waffling about how best to work the dog track, when to bet and when not to etc... blah blah blah..

Then he starts to drop ex girlfriends into the stories "she was a pig by the way, hideous looking, but anyway"... Then again, in the next breath, "oh yeah and another girl I was with, a total cnut, ugly as a bag of hammers"

Completely went off the track (scuse the pun) in the end he was just on a torrade of woman bashing.. there was no stopping him.

I ended up just saying to my partner "will we go for a smoke" (and I don't even smoke) and the two of us scarpered...

Crazy cnut.