Kerry County Council to sue Cork for Dolphin Poaching

Chuck Stone

Unbelieveable stuff.

A spokesman for Kerry County Council has announced that the council will begin legal proceedings against Cork County Council for 'poaching' dolphins from Kerry waters.

The spokesman was quoted as saying 'We've had our bailiffs follow men who have been turning up in boats late at night and encouraging Kerry dolphins to follow them down the coast by feeding them fresh fish from the boat'.

The intruders were traced to Cork Harbour and were seen disembarking their boat and getting into a Cork County Council van and driving in the general direction of Cork City.

The spokesman said 'We will not be putting up with people from Cork coming up here and stealing tourist business from the people of Kerry. If we have to we will take this to the highest court in the land'.

:eek::eek::eek:

dee.

Do tourists actually go to Kerry to spot Dolphins? Genuine question. I'm sure there's a small amount but would it really take away that much tourism/business from Kerry?

Emiko

Do you think they did it on porpoise?

Chuck Stone

dee. wrote: »

Do tourists actually go to Kerry to spot Dolphins? Genuine question. I'm sure there's a small amount but would it really take away that much tourism/business from Kerry?

Fungi brings in about 350 million euros a year apparently. You can see why they'd be angry about this.

enda1

dee. wrote: »

Do tourists actually go to Kerry to spot Dolphins? Genuine question. I'm sure there's a small amount but would it really take away that much tourism/business from Kerry?

Its huge still amongst the Americans. Part of the Ring of Kerry - Dingle thing.
It might be enough to stop them coming down from Connemara or across from Glendalough.

4zn76tysfajdxp

That reads like a Pat Shortt sketch.

Chuck Stone

Dolphins in the river Lee in Cork City.

Solair

The claim seems a tad unlikely, to put it mildly.

Congratulations Kerry people on electing such a wonderful panel of representatives! (note: extreme sarcasm)

Also, since when have dolphins been fully aware of unmarked land county boundaries? Has Fungi bought a GPS?

Chuck Stone

Solair wrote: »

Also, since when have dolphins been fully aware of unmarked land county boundaries? Has Fungi bought a GPS?

A dolphin will literally do back flips for a bit of fresh fish.

Solair

Well, they must be getting the same technical advice as the President of Iran who recently claimed that Europe was stealing Iran's rain and this is why it is a desert.

Bloody Nipples

I wonder what law dolphin feeding is protected under :rolleyes:

Solair

Even if there were true, since when have sea creatures become property of county councils, to be exploited for tourism purposes?

And why has Kerry Co. Co. been spying and following people in Cork?

Did they just follow this mysterious boat with the Co.Co. helicopter? or, was it tracked by the Jackie-Healy-Rae Satellite system from low earth orbit?

We may have to implement byelaws on inter-county spying.

I'm sure Spike Island could be reactivated.

James 007

Solair wrote: »

The claim seems a tad unlikely, to put it mildly.

Why?

Solair wrote: »

Congratulations Kerry people on electing such a wonderful panel of representatives! (note: extreme sarcasm)

Or is it congratulations Cork people on electing such a wonderful panel of representatives!

Solair wrote: »

Also, since when have dolphins been fully aware of unmarked land county boundaries? Has Fungi bought a GPS?

Perhaps maybe it is instinct. Fungi has been in Dingle bay for a long time.

Chuck Stone

Bloody Nipples wrote: »

I wonder what law dolphin feeding is protected under :rolleyes:

I think Jackie Healy Rae had a by-law passed stating that only Kerry registered boats could feed Kerry dolphins (with Kerry fish).

Chuck Stone

James 007 wrote: »

Perhaps maybe it is instinct. Fungi has been in Dingle bay for a long time.

Yes that's the confusing part about this. I mean there's no way a Kerry dolphin would understand a Cork accent.


Ah C'mon Fungus - I swear-ta-Gad I'll get ya a fyoo fishes from d'English Markut when we get down alang.


.

replica

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Fungi brings in about 350 million euros a year apparently. You can see why they'd be angry about this.

If Fungi brings in €350million in tourism... why doesn't the Govermnent just buy a fleet of dolphins and all our troubles will be sorted. Yes I'm being sarcastic...

Bloody Nipples

Chuck Stone wrote: »

I think Jackie Healy Rae had a by-law passed stating that only Kerry registered boats could feed Kerry dolphins (with Kerry fish).

I sincerely hope that's a joke :eek:

Any chance of a link to the original story? Couldn't find it on Google.

GavRedKing

I was waiting for the punch line, I was fully sure it was a joke.

Anyway, ffs its a dolphin, throw fish at it and it will follow ya anywhere.

I wonder how they realised that the dolphines we're been pached? Did they come back to Kerry with those " Peoples Republic of Cork " T-Shirts or something?

Emiko

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Fungi brings in about 350 million euros a year apparently. You can see why they'd be angry about this.

Can you provide a cetacean for that figure?

stevenmu

Nice pun, did you do that on porpoise?

Chuck Stone

Emiko wrote: »

Can you provide a cetacean for that figure?

I'll sea what I can do.

Dyr

[QUOTE=Solair;73248928
And why has Kerry Co. Co. been spying and following people in Cork?
[/QUOTE]

Because ye wouldn't know what those sly hoors were up to otherwise

Chuck Stone

Bloody Nipples wrote: »

I sincerely hope that's a joke :eek:

Any chance of a link to the original story? Couldn't find it on Google.

Emiko wrote: »

Can you provide a cetacean for that figure?

Damn pier pressure from my chums.

Chuck Stone

Bambi wrote: »

Because ye wouldn't know what those sly hoors were up to otherwise

I get that sinking feeling that it's only the tip if the iceberg.

Chuck Stone

gavredking wrote: »

Anyway, ffs its a dolphin, throw fish at it and it will follow ya anywhere.

So true.

I wonder how they realised that the dolphines we're been pached? Did they come back to Kerry with those " Peoples Republic of Cork " T-Shirts or something?

I'm not sure but those Kerry fellas will make them walk the plank if they hook 'em.

Jumpy

Emiko wrote: »

Do you think they did it on porpoise?

Get ooout.

*waves shotgun at door*

StupidLikeAFox

This has to be nipped in the bud. If allowed continue Dolphins will become prima donnas like premiership footballers, changing bays for the highest bidder, not swimming with a boat for less than 20,000 salmon a week and falling out of nightclubs with other dolphins while their dolphin wives are at home wondering where it all went wrong.

They should bring in a parish rule like the GAA tbh

Dyr

gavredking wrote: »

Anyway, ffs its a dolphin, throw fish at it and it will follow ya anywhere.

Not true, the good people of athlone won't be poaching anyones dolphin

Tusky

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Unbelieveable stuff.




:eek::eek::eek:

Where are those quotes from / where is the story reported? Cant find it anywhere else so assuming its a weird joke.

Kerrydude1981

Discovery will be making a new series about this,"Dolphin Wars"

Chuck Stone

Tusky wrote: »

Where are those quotes from / where is the story reported?

I'll get the link. Can't fathom why I left it out. Worry knot - I'll have it shortly.

Dyr

I hope these poached dolphins don't get mixed up with loan sharks

Bloody Nipples

Bambi wrote: »

Not true, the good people of athlone won't be poaching anyones dolphin

Last time I checked those shnakes lived on the Shannon. Bastards!

Dyr

Bloody Nipples wrote: »

Last time I checked those shnakes lived on the Shannon. Bastards!

True, but dolphins are quite intelligent so they probably wouldn't want to live there

shergar22

Bit late for an April Fool's story!

mattjack

I,d swear I saw someone throw fresh fish to Jackie Healy Rae recently...

replica

mattjack wrote: »

I,d swear I saw someone throw fresh fish to Jackie Healy Rae recently...

who paid for the fish? Celebrities go wild and fishy!

mattjack

replica wrote: »

who paid for the fish? Celebrities go wild and fishy!

Shure...t,was only two and a half thousand fish ..boy.....

Tusky

Chuck Stone wrote: »

I'll get the link. Can't fathom why I left it out. Worry knot - I'll have it shortly.

I've searched and searched and cant find anything on it anywhere...

The_Minister

Only this thread shows up on a search for "Dolphin Poaching Kerry"

Obviously this story is not on the net, and therefore does not exist.

Gophur

Chuck Stone wrote: »

Fungi brings in about 350 million euros a year apparently..........

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D

Where did you pull this nugget from?

That would mean, if there were 1 million visitors, going to Kerry to see Dolphins, they would have to spend €350, each, in Kerry?

Chuck Stone

Gophur wrote: »

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D

Where did you pull this nugget from?

That would mean, if there were 1 million visitors, going to Kerry to see Dolphins, they would have to spend €350, each, in Kerry?

Nuggets?

Couldn't you have said fish bites or something?

mattjack

Gophur wrote: »

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!! :D:D:D:D:D

Where did you pull this nugget from?

That would mean, if there were 1 million visitors, going to Kerry to see Dolphins, they would have to spend €350, each, in Kerry?

Its true.....didnt Jackie Healy Rae say it it himself.......:pac:

FTGFOP

'Tis my field dolphin!

ejmaztec

Kerry County Council normally gets involved in dead duck ventures, and not live dolphins. I think they're still trying to find out where all of the cash went when they decided to invest in building a Jeanie Johnston famine ship replica.

Chuck Stone

ejmaztec wrote: »

they're still trying to find out where all of the cash went when they decided to invest in building a Jeanie Johnston famine ship replica.

They got mixed up between the Jeanie Johnston and Noah's Ark and built the thing half way up the side of a mountain didn't they?

Had to spend half a million getting a special crane ship over from Holland IIRC.

ejmaztec

Chuck Stone wrote: »

They got mixed up between the Jeanie Johnston and Noah's Ark and built the thing half way up the side of a mountain didn't they?

Had to spend half a million getting a special crane ship over from Holland IIRC.

A great council for the big ideas, but the truth is they couldn't run a piss-up in a brewery.

I never heard of anyone getting nailed for the alleged missing funds at the end of the day, although some kind of investigation was carried out.:rolleyes:

Chuck Stone

ejmaztec wrote: »

A great council for the big ideas, but the truth is they couldn't run a piss-up in a brewery.

I never heard of anyone getting nailed for the alleged missing funds at the end of the day, although some kind of investigation was carried out.:rolleyes:

Cork Co. Co. isn't far behind part funding it's magic fcuking fantasy sky garden which is operated by a man in a crane. Very Father-Ted-esque altogether.

A. . . . . . titanic . . . . . . watse of money

Oink

Chuck Stone wrote: »

A dolphin will literally do back flips for a bit of fresh fish.

That little trollop.