The Romantic Pursuit & Dramas attached

nicechick!

Dear posters!

I have been single a number of years & have loved it, I needed to break free now tell me this how the fub do I actually venture into a relationship again??
I find now that I seem to have more of an interest in meeting a potential mate however my struggle to meet potential dates is somewhat limited due to the following below

My independent/confidant nature:

- I find that I am not willing to give up any real time or for a potential date to interfere with my plans in fact I begrudge them for it

-I can't tolerate and won't tolerate constant demands of my time I don't do needy, I can't tolerate persons that want to live in my pocket so to speak straight off (ehhh is that not the same point as the first one... hmm that said keeping meeting men that want to spend excessive amounts of time with me)

- I have to make an active effort to communicate with persons of like (this should not be the case really!)

- I don't do drama you either like me or you don't type attitude


Basically my complete and active lack of effort to meet men is hhmmm difficult I have become as ''happy as a pig in ****'' so to speak (sorry for being so crude!) that I begrudge giving up any of my time an order to meet others to possibly meet potential boyfriend though have had men constantly pursue me! for this very lack of indifferent behaviour now don't get me wrong I'm not an arsehole I just didn't want a boyfriend at the time

I'm a pretty friendly, happy, independent attractive (not vain and not perfect just happy in my own skin if that makes sense)...

Advice please has anyone being in a similar situation? I think I have become so self absorbed in my own personnel pursuit of my own personnel happiness/well being that I'm struggling to actually let anyone in does this make sense lol

G86

I guess you just need to be more open to meeting someone, but that doesn't mean you have to change who you are or become less indepedent.

You say you're happy being single though, so why change? Why not just stay as you are, and if someone interesting enough comes along then I'm sure they'll strike your interest!

nicechick!

G86 wrote: »

I guess you just need to be more open to meeting someone, but that doesn't mean you have to change who you are or become less indepedent.

You say you're happy being single though, so why change? Why not just stay as you are, and if someone interesting enough comes along then I'm sure they'll strike your interest!

Good point, though I admit I miss romance/flirtations/dating there is only many cuddles my friends will give me and they'll never hold my hand in public ha par the occasional fling

hmm interesting I like the sound of that! We'll have to wait and see I suppose my concern is have I closed myself off emotionally that seriously any hint of male interest in me I'm off will not deal with it at all. I think what got me thinking was that a friend mentioned the other day that she'd hate to ''date'' me so to speak as I remind her of the years she spent crying/moping over men that ''just weren't that into her'' scenario use and abuse type stuff I was horrified I was like that is not my nature!! And well she backed it up with some very good examples (horror struck!)

Kimia

OP I see where you're coming from but if you want to be in a relationship you will have to learn to compromise. It's not fair on the potential boyfriend if you are just 'fitting him in' wherever there's a gap. That's not a relationship.

Be open to change. Be open to flexibility in your approach and be really really nice, the way you'd like to be treated in a perfect world. Set your boundaries - the things you just cannot live with, the deal breakers, (like the no neediness or gameplaying like you mentioned) and stick to them. Have fun!