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Would you get into a relationship with a girl who had pro-abortion views?

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  • 02-07-2011 5:42pm
    #1
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭


    Hope this can be rationally discussed here. I'm a bit of a family man and I have to say I couldn't start a relationship with a girl who had open ended views on abortion.

    I acknowledge the right of a woman to have an abortion, I disagree with the act of abortion, but my way of dealing with this in terms of it ever having an affect on me, is to ensure that I'm in a relationship with a girl who shares my views on abortion, as someone who wants to have kids.

    That's not to say that if some rare medical issue emerged in the future where my wifes health was at risk, I might support her if she made a decision to have an abortion, but as for, "I want to be able to have an abortion for any reason or for no particular reason at all", I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who harbours these views...

    My mates seen to have the same view, in that we are all in our late 20's/early 30's and would like to have families, some already have.


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    #2
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    The long and short answers from me will be yes.


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    #3
    Jagle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 870 ✭✭✭Jagle


    i would never get into a relationship with a girl who was against abortion


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    #4
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    Jagle wrote: »
    i would never get into a relationship with a girl who was against abortion

    But would you get into a relationship with a girl who was pro abortion, and I mean advocating abortion on demand???


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    #5
    Kinetic^
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,249 ✭✭✭✭Kinetic^


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    But would you get into a relationship with a girl who was pro abortion, and I mean advocating abortion on demand???

    As long as it didn't fester in to an obsession or start to affect the relationship then it wouldn't bother me either way.


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    #6
    Zombienosh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,911 ✭✭✭Zombienosh


    Yes.


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    #7
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    Kinetic^ wrote: »
    As long as it didn't fester in to an obsession or start to affect the relationship then it wouldn't bother me either way.

    But say if you were seeing each other a few months and it emerged that if she got pregnant, that she would automatically procure an abortion. There would be no discussion about this or you might not even be told about it, it would just happen...


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    #8
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    But say if you were seeing each other a few months and it emerged that if she got pregnant, that she would automatically procure an abortion. There would be no discussion about this or you might not even be told about it, it would just happen...

    That is a very specific situation and it is very different than somebody just being pro-choice.


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    #9
    Im Only 71Kg
    Closed Accounts Posts: 400 ✭✭Im Only 71Kg


    no. i personally wouldn't go out with someone who would willingly terminate my child.


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    #10
    qz
    Registered Users Posts: 8,753 ✭✭✭qz


    Totally, having at kid at my age would fcuk things up for me royally. I assume the issue of abortion weighs less and less as you gain more years under your belt and both partners are actually ready to start a family and intentionally try to do so.


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    #11
    SugarHigh
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,265 ✭✭✭SugarHigh


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    Kinetic^ wrote: »
    As long as it didn't fester in to an obsession or start to affect the relationship then it wouldn't bother me either way.

    But say if you were seeing each other a few months and it emerged that if she got pregnant, that she would automatically procure an abortion. There would be no discussion about this or you might not even be told about it, it would just happen...
    I'd rather she get an abortion than to have to support a kid neither of us wanted. Seriously I know it makes me sound like a dick to bring money into but if you have a kid that's basically €200,000 on something you don't want.


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    #12
    Jagle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 870 ✭✭✭Jagle


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    But say if you were seeing each other a few months and it emerged that if she got pregnant, that she would automatically procure an abortion. There would be no discussion about this or you might not even be told about it, it would just happen...

    cheaper then child support :D

    in all seriousness i cant believe anyone in a loving healthy relationship regardless of their beliefs would run off to get an abortion asap.

    but i fully support a change in laws, i know a girl who got pregnant(not by my hand) and as stressful and as difficult a time as it was, selling most of per possessions to be able to afford a trip to england was not something that she needs on top of everything, because a couple of people here listened to a church that destoryed generations


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    #13
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    qz wrote: »
    Totally, having at kid at my age would fcuk things up for me royally. I assume the issue of abortion weighs less and less as you gain more years under your belt and both partners are actually ready to start a family and intentionally try to do so.


    But does a girl who believes in her colllege years, "It's my body my choice, I'll do whatever the I want so butt out of it", really mellow out as she gets a bit older???


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    #14
    ThisRegard
    Closed Accounts Posts: 27,834 ✭✭✭✭ThisRegard


    to ensure that I'm in a relationship with a girl who shares my views on abortion, as someone who wants to have kids.

    Having a family and being pro choice aren't mutually exclusive you know.


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    #15
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    parker kent wrote: »
    That is a very specific situation and it is very different than somebody just being pro-choice.

    How is it?


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    #16
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    ThisRegard wrote: »
    Having a family and being pro choice aren't mutually exclusive you know.

    Maybe not, but say your partner deciding that she is having an abortion, (as in she indicates that she is going to be pro-choice in relation to your future family), how can you say that such a scenario is independent of having a family?


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    #17
    Snowie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,048 ✭✭✭✭Snowie


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    Hope this can be rationally discussed here. I'm a bit of a family man and I have to say I couldn't start a relationship with a girl who had open ended views on abortion.

    I acknowledge the right of a woman to have an abortion, I disagree with the act of abortion, but my way of dealing with this in terms of it ever having an affect on me, is to ensure that I'm in a relationship with a girl who shares my views on abortion, as someone who wants to have kids.

    That's not to say that if some rare medical issue emerged in the future where my wifes health was at risk, I might support her if she made a decision to have an abortion, but as for, "I want to be able to have an abortion for any reason or for no particular reason at all", I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who harbours these views...

    My mates seen to have the same view, in that we are all in our late 20's/early 30's and would like to have families, some already have.


    ok first off im an uncle (weird saying it and hes the most awesome little grommet to ever hit our fammilly :D )

    But while there is always a struggle with children...

    but if some one doesnt want to have a baby so be it its not up to you to push your views onto a girl just because you dont agree...

    How does it effect you any way if some girl has an abortion and who your likely never to come into contact with....

    People have the right to live there life the way they want to...

    i couldnt give a toss what her views are on abortion hardly the pressing matter of the world and hardly a pressing matter to decide weather you enter a reletionship with for that matter either

    also you dont have to deal with the pain of giving birth

    the woman does think theyd have an idea weather they want to have kids or not and more of right to decide all you do is diliver a seed,..

    sure nearly any man can do that!


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    #18
    qz
    Registered Users Posts: 8,753 ✭✭✭qz


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    But does a girl who believes in her colllege years, "It's my body my choice, I'll do whatever the I want so butt out of it", really mellow out as she gets a bit older???
    ThisRegard wrote: »
    Having a family and being pro choice aren't mutually exclusive you know.

    ^This. I can only assume that the majority of women would like to settle down with a husband and kids at some stage, and the issue of abortion would not crop up if a women is impregnated by her husband and they both want to start a family.


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    #19
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    How is it?

    How do you not see that it is a very specific situation? You are referring to a hypothetical situation where somebody has an abortion without any discussion. That is clearly not the case in all situations.

    Not everybody who is pro-choice will do that without discussion (I imagine the amount of people who will do exactly as you say in that example is extremely low). Being pro-choice is not the same as automatically terminating a pregnancy without discussion. The first is just being open to choice, the latter is what one specific person decided to do.


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    #20
    Kinski
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,555 ✭✭✭Kinski


    Wouldn't bother me, since it reflects my own views - but it is preferable to describe the position as being pro-choice than pro-abortion. Though, I wouldn't be keen on someone who was fanatical about the issue, not matter which position they adopted.
    Jagle wrote: »
    i know a girl who got pregnant(not by my hand)

    Sex Ed 101: It's not actually the man's hand that does it...:pac:


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    #21
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    Maybe not, but say your partner deciding that she is having an abortion, (as in she indicates that she is going to be pro-choice in relation to your future family), how can you say that such a scenario is independent of having a family?

    Again, that is a very specific situation. Somebody having an attitude that allows for a choice to be made is not the same as an attitude that all pregnancies must be terminated. Not all women who are pro-choice will have abortions. It entirely depends on the scenario at any given time. It is not a black and white case.


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    #22
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    qz wrote: »
    ^This. I can only assume that the majority of women would like to settle down with a husband and kids at some stage, and the issue of abortion would not crop up if a women is impregnated by her husband and they both want to start a family.

    I genuinely don't get this... I've a load of lads/mates who are all dying to be family men, and most are with girls who are probably annoyed that they are not already married with kids, etc. Some already have kids, some are single but none are rampantly advocating abortion on demand.

    But then it seems to me more and more a trait that women are demanding a right to abortion in Ireland, not for medical reasons, not for health reasons, but for any reason, or no particular reason at all.

    I can't see how these women can end up in normal relationships, unless it is with men who do not want to have children, and I don't know any lads who fall into this category.


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    #23
    parker kent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,289 ✭✭✭parker kent


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    But then it seems to me more and more a trait that women are demanding a right to abortion in Ireland, not for medical reasons, not for health reasons, but for any reason, or no particular reason at all.

    I can't see how these women can end up in normal relationships, unless it is with men who do not want to have children, and I don't know any lads who fall into this category.

    You do understand that somebody who thinks Ireland should be pro-choice is not the same as somebody who will have an abortion any time they get pregnant? Just because they are pro-choice does not mean they will ever consider an abortion for themselves.


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    #24
    qz
    Registered Users Posts: 8,753 ✭✭✭qz


    Well, being 22 and about to start on a very challenging and demanding career, I certainly don't want kids now. If I had a girlfriend who was in and around the same age as me and I got her pregnant, I would totally want her to be pro-choice about it and consider an abortion.

    But, at 32 or 35, once I get my priorities right re: work and finances and generally enjoying my youth, I would very much like to have children with a partner, and I would hope that that partner would deliver my sprogs! Tricky discussion whatever position you take.


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    #25
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    parker kent wrote: »
    How do you not see that it is a very specific situation? You are referring to a hypothetical situation where somebody has an abortion without any discussion. That is clearly not the case in all situations.

    Not everybody who is pro-choice will do that without discussion (I imagine the amount of people who will do exactly as you say in that example is extremely low). Being pro-choice is not the same as automatically terminating a pregnancy without discussion. The first is just being open to choice, the latter is what one specific person decided to do.

    It seems to me thought that this is what a large number of Irish women are now demanding. Pro choice to my mind is tolerating whatever decision that another person might wish to come to regarding a pregnancy.

    But a lot of women seem to be advocating this view that their body is their own (which I fully accept), and they can do with it what they wish (which I fully accept), my only point though is, if you were in a relationship and wanted to have kids, could you stay in a relationship if this was the mindset that was emerging in relation to abortion???


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    #26
    SWK
    Registered Users Posts: 40 ✭SWK


    Clearly, HellFireClub, you equate being pro-choice with being pro-abortion. Most people who are pro-choice accept that abortions, in most situations, are regrettable. Anyone who get's one with a sense of glee and without any pause is either really stupid or mentally deranged. If your in a stable relationship with a woman and she gets pregnant and proceeds to get an abortion, without even considering your opinion, I'd be inclined to think that either she has a few screws loose or the relationship was in the sh1t.


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    #27
    G86
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,660 ✭✭✭G86


    HellFireClub wrote: »

    But then it seems to me more and more a trait that women are demanding a right to abortion in Ireland, not for medical reasons, not for health reasons, but for any reason, or no particular reason at all.


    How do you know what their reasons are?? How do you know there's 'no particular reason at all'? The fact is - you don't.
    HellFireClub wrote: »
    I can't see how these women can end up in normal relationships, unless it is with men who do not want to have children, and I don't know any lads who fall into this category.

    Not all women who are pro-choice and advocate abortion will decide to have an abortion themselves, they are simply advocating a womans right to choose.


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    #28
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    parker kent wrote: »
    You do understand that somebody who thinks Ireland should be pro-choice is not the same as somebody who will have an abortion any time they get pregnant? Just because they are pro-choice does not mean they will ever consider an abortion for themselves.

    I'm pro choice myself, do what you want with yourself says I. However I could not entertain a relationship with a girl who advocates abortion on demand. That's the thead topic, not pro-choice, but could you do a relationship with someone who believes in abortion as an absolute right, for them, even though they are in a relationship with you and you are the father if a pregnancy arose.

    I'm asking could you trust your partner, given that views have been expressed that could result in your unborn child being aborted??? Or even if such views have been expressed, could you trust your partner to put those absolute views aside so that a discussion might be able to take place with you about what SHE should do???


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    #29
    HellFireClub
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,912 ✭✭✭HellFireClub


    SWK wrote: »
    Clearly, HellFireClub, you equate being pro-choice with being pro-abortion.

    Could you quote me where I said that??? :rolleyes: As I said I'm pro choice myself...


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    #30
    Kinetic^
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,249 ✭✭✭✭Kinetic^


    Just because someone has pro abortion views does not equate to her jumping on a plane once she gets pregnant.


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    #31
    G86
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,660 ✭✭✭G86


    HellFireClub wrote: »
    As I said I'm pro choice myself...

    Nothing you have said indicates that. It appears to me, that you're pro-choice as long as it doesn't interfere with your own personal relationships. So you're basically saying any woman has the right to choose, apart from your partner.

    That's not pro-choice.


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