Overheard in Port Láirge

MitchKoobski

Thought this might be a good thread. Post any weird/funny quotes or stories you've overheard or come across around Waterford.

Got one from WLR on the way in to work this morning.

Timmy: "We have a text here from a listener asking about the Bryan Ferry gig tonight. It says "Is this concert seated and when does it finish?"

Karen: "What!? Is it seated!? It's Bryan Ferry!"

Timmy: "Yeah this isn't Barbra Streisand or an orchestra in the park. But eh...yeah...should be over by 10:45 maybe. Standing room only..."

Dan133269

Last summer I was walking into CitySquare through the back entrance. It was a drizzly day, raining on and off. A randomer shouted to Howdo "Bit wet today Howdo isn't it?" Without missing a beat, he shouted back, "that's what she said last night."

Joey leBlanc

I remember walking home from school when we were small, crossing Ballybricken, passing Billy Burke's fish shop the standing joke was
"Did you just see Billy Burke mooning out the window" "Yeah, he's just put
his arse in the window for the cod!"
BOOM! BOOM!
Of course years later when we were walking home from disco's the banter
had fallen to the level of "Two blind men were passing Billy Burke's & immediately tipped their caps & said "Goodnite Ladies!"

Beerholder

MitchKoobski wrote: »

Thought this might be a good thread. Post any weird/funny quotes or stories you've overheard or come across around Waterford.

Got one from WLR on the way in to work this morning.

Timmy: "We have a text here from a listener asking about the Bryan Ferry gig tonight. It says "Is this concert seated and when does it finish?"

Karen: "What!? Is it seated!? It's Bryan Ferry!"

Timmy: "Yeah this isn't Barbra Streisand or an orchestra in the park. But eh...yeah...should be over by 10:45 maybe. Standing room only..."

Overhear that one on the Radio did ya?

MitchKoobski

Beerholder wrote: »

Overhear that one on the Radio did ya?

Yeah on WATERFORD radio because WLR stands for WATERFORD live radio. You see how it was still OVERHEARD on WATERFORD radio while I was driving to work in WATERFORD.

Beerholder

MitchKoobski wrote: »

Yeah on WATERFORD radio because WLR stands for WATERFORD live radio. You see how it was still OVERHEARD on WATERFORD radio while I was driving to work in WATERFORD.

Woah woah! Haha, only joking Mitch, relax man....

Good idea for a thread.

MitchKoobski

Beerholder wrote: »

Woah woah! Haha, only joking Mitch, relax man....

Good idea for a thread.

WAAAATTTEEERFFFFOOOOORRRDDDD GGGGRRRRRAAAAWWWWWWW

ziedth

I was on that street directly behind city square talking to one of the lads once and we were chatting about something about that I called a group of fellas fairies.

Anyway I hear this little old lady near us say some little rhyme to herself and then she pulls on another old ladies arm and say "com'on they'll bring down the little people on us" and took off.

Seemingly saying the word fairy brings them out and they'll cast a spell on you and those with you unless you say some kind of spell explained my grandmother who found it comical that people still lived who believe in these kind of things.

Made me smile anyway. I'm sure I have a few better ones.

Great idea for a thread BTW.

Dan133269

My friend's brother was explaining to me where something was in town.
He said to me "you know when you pass the atheist church, just after that."
I said what? He replied "the big atheist church, just next to the credit union." He was referring to Christchurch

MitchKoobski

"Y'no The Book Centre used to be a cinema?"
"Yeah? Must've been weird with all the books like."
"......"

SUNGOD

the famous old alcoholic character harry miller who had a long white beard himself was once asked
"harry would you do santa claus for christmas?"
harry replied
"i will if you hold him down"

gscully

"Well, any craic boy"

"I'm sorry, I don't deal drugs"

SUNGOD

panther quinlan once got a tip for a horse from harry miller and his drinking partner cashin , together known as cashin & miller
anyway this morning cashin & miller were skint and gave panther the tip,
the horse won and panther went in to walsh's(kervicks on ballybricken) to celebrate.
as panther was drinking his third or fourth pint he looked out and saw cashin & miller sitting by the bull post. the barman asked panther " would you not give them a few bob for giving you the tip?"
and panther replied " no way sure they'd only drink it"

SUNGOD

overheard this in bad bobs myself

" you have two chances boy, bob chance and no chance and bob chance just left the building"

to this day im still confused

MitchKoobski

Me: "I have to meet him at some Johnstown or someplace, any idea where that is?"
Mate: "I can tell you what pub it's near."
Me: "....why?"
Mate: "I'm feckin **** at directions around town, but I can tell you how to get there through a series of pubs. Works all the time"
Me: "Alright here's where he wants but I don't think....."
Mate: "........yea head down past Harvey's towards the Quay and turn right by Katty Barry's. Then a left and you're sorted."
Me: "........holy crap it works.


I do this now too.

dayshah

SUNGOD wrote: »

overheard this in bad bobs myself

" you have two chances boy, bob chance and no chance and bob chance just left the building"

to this day im still confused

It should be Bob Hope, the late US comedian.

seanybiker

MitchKoobski wrote: »

Yeah on WATERFORD radio because WLR stands for WATERFORD live radio. You see how it was still OVERHEARD on WATERFORD radio while I was driving to work in WATERFORD.

Ah crap. I always thought it was Waterford local radio. Hmmm oh well.

Finnbar01

I heard a word last week that I hadn't heard in years... ' put the child into the tan-sad'.

Also when I was on the bus years ago, two fellas were sitting in front of me. Convo went like this.

fella1: One of the lads is in deep ****e with his lack.
Fella2: Why, what did he do?
fella1: Well his girlfriend was in England on a business trip for two weeks.
Fella2: And?
fella1: He move the local slapper into his flat for the two weeks and he got caught.
Fella2: How, did his girlfriend come back early?
fella1: No, ya see he has a parrot and when his girlfriend came back, the parrot told her.

I nearly broke me balls laughing.

MitchKoobski

seanybiker wrote: »

Ah crap. I always thought it was Waterford local radio. Hmmm oh well.

I accept my stupidity.

mikeym

seanybiker wrote: »

Ah crap. I always thought it was Waterford local radio. Hmmm oh well.

It is Waterford Local Radio

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WLR_FM

deise_boi

mikeym wrote: »

It is Waterford Local Radio

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WLR_FM

It would seem your sarcasm detector needs tweaking :p

AdMMM

That's Bolton St... not Johnstown

Me: "I have to meet him at some Johnstown or someplace, any idea where that is?"
Mate: "I can tell you what pub it's near."
Me: "....why?"
Mate: "I'm feckin **** at directions around town, but I can tell you how to get there through a series of pubs. Works all the time"
Me: "Alright here's where he wants but I don't think....."
Mate: "........yea head down past Harvey's towards the Quay and turn right by Katty Barry's. Then a left and you're sorted."
Me: "........holy crap it works.

dayshah

AdMMM wrote: »

That's Bolton St... not Johnstown

Hey Mitch, never ever drink and post.

jimbojazz

One of my mates wasn't the brightest and had this conversation with us a few years ago (we'll call him Kevin - not real name or is it:)):-

Kevin: Lads, did ye hear Larry Guinan the ex- Waterford hurler died yesterday.

Us: Larry Guinan, dead, no he isn't I saw him drive past in his van.

Kevin: He did, I just heard it on WLR.

Us: No he didn't - that was Philly Grimes, you donkey.

Kevin: Philly Grimes, ah ye're right. Ah sure it's an easy mistake to make - both their surnames begin with a J.

MitchKoobski

AdMMM wrote: »

That's Bolton St... not Johnstown

He did say he was crap at directions.

SUNGOD

dayshah wrote: »

It should be Bob Hope, the late US comedian.

i know , that was the joke

it was confusing as the term he used makes no sense

MitchKoobski

*fireworks finish going off from top of Ard Rí*
Me: "Hey look the roof is on fire now!"
Cousin: "Ha! That's mad. There's another one now!"
One hour later
Cousin: "Hey I think it was the fireworks going off that set the roof on fire."
Me: ".......You cannot be that slow...."

Joe blogger

definition of overhear

to hear without the speaker's knowledge or intention


examples of overhear

she overheard what her boss said to his secretary

i overheard a rumor about you


just saying is all..........

seanybiker

Definition of pedantic ^^^^^^^^^^^^

Just saying

MitchKoobski

Joe blogger wrote: »

just saying is all..........

Just say it....somewhere off topic. http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055531343&page=6

Joe blogger

seanybiker wrote: »

Definition of pedantic ^^^^^^^^^^^^

Just saying

easy tiger

all i am saying is that you cannot overhear a conversation you are actually involved in

if something is broadcast to you... you are not overhearing

ill spare you the definition of pedantic

Joe blogger

i overheard this once


years ago i passed a family walking

a toddler had fallen off his bike and was crying on the floor

his father stood looking over him said

its a hard life geoffrey

deise go deo

From a fairly thick Lad I know.


'Would you look at the baldy head of hair on yer man.....

seanybiker

Joe blogger wrote: »

easy tiger

all i am saying is that you cannot overhear a conversation you are actually involved in

if something is broadcast to you... you are not overhearing

ill spare you the definition of pedantic

I was only gowling with you.


I didnt hear this meself but one of the lads was telling me.

some fella years ago was sent down to the end of bunkers hill to dig a hole for something or other. Some corporation worker. Anyways he was down there fora few hours chatting away and got a bit of work done.
Eventually his boss/ manager calls down to him and see's a tiny hole in the ground.
Ah jaysus man, what where you doing, sure that hole is tiny.
Chap turns around to him and tells him, sure thats all that was in it.

Joe blogger

sat at a wrestling event (says something for the intelligence of the characters involved)

not me though i was on a journalistic fact finding mission like louis theroux

couple of seats across is a guy with his son (about 8 maybe) when this conversation unfolds


son
were you alive in viking times dad

dad
......... that.... is the stupidest question.... i have ever heard


the disdain dripping from the dads voice has stayed with me to this day

Nolanger

That's so much work it's like going up Bunker's Hill on a bike with no chain.

Joe blogger

on my mates recent wedding video we were trying to build a human pyramid

when we watched it back my mate walked past saying...........



i cant do it ive got an erection

giles lynchwood

Overheard in a pub in ballybricken a few year´s ago.
Girl to owner " jeus it´s freezín in here"
Owner replied"if you wore a knickers you would´nt be cold"

abouttobebanned

Overheard on the Quay yesterday.

"They really should have got in a glass bottomed boat."

I lol'd.

DjBryn

" my god this place really stinks of pee"

Yank tourists walkin up pi$$ lane off parnell street...

Daysha

When I was out in town Saturday night I overheard this lad in the jacks talking to the guy taking a piss beside him.

See that guy over there? Yeah that fella, see him? He's got a neck as hard as a jockey's bollix.

Apparently this is a big Waterford saying, but I've never heard it before. Either way I thought that was brilliant.

Joe blogger

heres a good one from mitch in the nightlife thread

he overheard this one at his 21st

MitchKoobski wrote: »

Quick story from my 21st, we had a DJ down from Belfast. Uncle's mate and loved the same music as me, old stuff basically.He was instructed to play classic rock, 80's music and only go as far as 1996 if he had to. He was absolutely delighted. He was trying to find The Specials, and the following occured:
Cousin: "Will you play Rhianna?"
DJ: "Don't have it."
Cousin's friend: "Do you have any Beyonce?"
DJ: "Uh nope."
Cousin: "Well what DO you have!?"
DJ: "Anything thats not shit."

jay.i.am

Overheard in the cafe in Superquinn during last winters cold snap.
Girl 1 Its fookin frezzing out.
Girl 2 Yeah i heard on the news that we are getting polar air.
Girl 1 Polar air where does that come from?
Girl 2 Dunno...Poland
Girl 1 Two Lattes please.

Siamsa Sessions

Second-hand "overheard" story: (the musician told me)

A one-man band is playing to little or nobody in a certain pub in town. A young wan wanders up and says, "Play the Lisa Brown song"

Musician: The what?
Young wan: The Lisa Brown song!
Musician: (getting vexed) The what song?
Young wan: You know, the Lisa Brown song!
Musician: (getting mad) Sorry love, I don't know what you're on about.
Young wan: You do, you know it. It's "All the Lisa Brown, the Lisa Brown, and the sky is grey..."

Joe blogger

was at a hotel having a meal at night when i heard the couple on the next table ordering their food

the waitress asked if they were going to be having any of the spa treatments the hotel provide

the woman says she is having some aromatherapy or something like that and the bloke says quite loudly

im having my hot rocks massaged

i presume he meant a hot rocks massage.

pretty much everyone around were pissing themselves laughing and the poor waitress had to leave because she was laughing so much

They Lost?! Those Losers!

DjBryn wrote: »

" my god this place really stinks of pee"

Yank tourists walkin up pi$$ lane off parnell street...

seanybiker

Wow Ireland is so cool. I never pissed at a wall in a pub before.


Me mate from the states after using the Jack's in the lantern a few years back.

dashboard_hula

I'm originally from Tipperary, but I've been living down here the last 4 years, and I'm telling you 60 miles never felt so long when I first came across these words:

Me: "....no seriously, my lack what?"

Me: "Can someone please tell me what a fúcking blaa is?"

Sometimes I forget my Tipp accent (in a building of 600 Deise, anyone would) and when I addressed my brother as "well boooy" when he called in one day, all I got was an indignant "Don't ever say that again."

looder

Not sure if this counts as Waterford or not, but taken from the overheard in WIT Facebook page:

A few lads were in the it building talking when a beour walks by..
Lad 1: "I nearly rode her.."
Lad 2: "Yeah man?!?! She's unreal, how'd you manage that?"
Lad 1: "I shifted her friend..."

kkdela6

friend at a session a while ago

me ' how're things boy'
friend: 'ya know times are tough when ya owe 4 quid to the trocaire box'

---

a friends mother up in kitty kiernans last saturday talking about her son

'ah sure he's mad boy! a fookin alco! always looking for reasons to drink! sure he'd celebrate the opening of a fookin envelope!'

---

talking about an awful lookin young wan in the forum

me: 'jaysus she's rough. would ya shift her for a fiver'
friend: 'i'd shift her out of me fookin way'

seanybiker

One of me mates I know through biking was down here for a session a few years back.
He's from enfield up in meath I think it is. Anyways. He went down to revolution with a few of the lads. Couldn't really understand the Waterford accent but anyways. Met some young one in revolutions and got chatting to her. After about 15 minutes of talking to her he just turned around and said to her. I can't understand a fooking word tour saying so could you stop talking and let me ride ya.
Cue two minutes later and poor PJ has a bouncer each side of him carrying him outta the place.

Another one of the lads down that night went over to whispers.
Went in and got a dance of one of the strippers. She put her woohoo close enough to his face during the dance. After the dance was finished he was talking to another stripper and told her that the one he got a dance off of could do with an ould baby wipe down below because she was mank.
Half an hour later he got a dance off her again. Took a big sniff and told her that was better