If there was a God and a heaven and you're at the Gates, what do you do?

ArtSmart

Well?
Baring in mind this is an atheist forum so none a that 'trolling' stuff.

Turtwig

Hide the condoms.

Sarky

"You get the manager out here right now."

ArtSmart

Sarky wrote: »

"You get the manager out here right now."

Ouch, sarky.

rainbow kirby

Start flirting with the angels.

charlemont

Ask him could he spare a nodge..

Zillah

What would I, an unrepentent blasphemer, be doing at the gates of heaven? There is no appeals process.

But in answer to your question: Go to Hell.

No really. I would go to Hell. I imagine I would have little choice in the matter. If you're asking what would I say if I met God? I suppose I'd go "Like, what the hell? Really? Dude, this is messed up, like...really what the fuck was all that about?"

Also what kind of God and heaven? The Christian God? Islam?

axer

I would tell those at the gates how much of wa'nkers they are for playing their stupid f'ucking games resulting in men, women and children being tortured/mutilated or otherwise because that ejit god could not just let people know.

I would then ask which way is to hell as I would rather spend eternity there than be surrounded by such evil souls for eternity.

Also heaven is a much hotter place than hell and I am not that big a fan of heat.

swiftblade

I would say, "No thanks" . It would be terrible, all those holy people. We would have nothing to talk about.

I would instead go to hell where me and the devil, would drink JD and play poker all the time. It would rock...
:pac:

housetypeb

It raises the question why there is a gate there in the first place with a sentry on full time duty, why is he needed if god knows who's going to get in and who's going straight to hell?

smokingman

I would suckle on his noodly appendages

Delirium

ask if they have a few minutes to take part in a personality test :pac:

Dades

I'd ask what's the point of a trunk when you have four arms.

RP Mc murphy

If there was a Frodo and a bilbo baggins, and youre at the gates of mordor, what would you do?

This trolling?

Dades

Dades wrote: »

I'd ask what's the point of a trunk when you have four arms.

He has a trunk because shiva lopped off his head, parvati got angry, so he replaced it with one of the sacred elephants!
Well that's just one of them anyway...

as for OP I don't know what I'd do. is this the christian heaven or what?
I'd probably be in hell.

gbee

I'd smile and laugh. Seeing as I, an atheist led a life of debauchery, drinking and carousing was even at the gates of Heaven, as I look back at the faithful damning God for letting me jump the queue!

One way or the other, he still lied!

ArtSmart

bluewolf wrote: »

as for OP I don't know what I'd do. is this the christian heaven or what?
I'd probably be in hell.

well, it's one with Gates anyway. so either is a Christian Heaven or a Kerry Tourist Heaven. either way, you gotta pay...:D

deirdre_dub

I would say "in all honesty, and I hope we can agree on this, I did my best with what you gave me, and if that isn't good enough for you, then maybe heaven isn't as good a place as I was led to believe".

sensibleken

Id ask her if she had a bet on ferdia and if that was why she turned into a snake and tripped ch chulainn

goodomens

Zillah wrote: »

Also what kind of God and heaven? The Christian God? Islam?

It's entirely possible there is and has been One true God the whole time, but because every person is unique, each person, and groups of people (remote, unconnected civilizations) have their own unique perception of God.

I'm sure many people who have met you in your time; have a different perception of you, that doesn't mean there is 1000 or 2000 'you's', just one.

Might be something to think about.

sensibleken

goodomens wrote: »

It's entirely possible there is and has been One true God the whole time, but because every person is unique, each person, and groups of people (remote, unconnected civilizations) have their own unique perception of God.

I'm sure many people who have met you in your time; have a different perception of you, that doesn't mean there is 1000 or 2000 'you's', just one.

Might be something to think about.

some cultures have one god, some thousands at the same time. that says more about the human mind than anything in reality

Turtwig

goodomens wrote: »

It's entirely possible there is and has been One true God the whole time, but because every person is unique, each person, and groups of people (remote, unconnected civilizations) have their own unique perception of God.

I'm sure many people who have met you in your time; have a different perception of you, that doesn't mean there is 1000 or 2000 'you's', just one.

Might be something to think about.

I'm pretty sure of the many people who met Zillah in his time none of them thought he was a dog, cat, glorified stone, lightning bolt, lady, male, talking squid etc.

goodomens

sensibleken wrote: »

some cultures have one god, some thousands at the same time. that says more about the human mind than anything in reality

No religion has multiple Gods, they believe in powerful spiritual beings which bring good health, money, love etc. They are not superior to one another. Therefore, neither are a 'God'. The multiple Gods view could be a reflection of the multitude of Gods creativity and power - over all things in life.

Turtwig

goodomens wrote: »

No religion has multiple Gods, they believe in powerful spiritual beings which bring good health, money, love etc. They are not superior to one another. Therefore, neither are a 'God'. The multiple Gods view could be a reflection of the multitude of Gods creativity and power - over all things in life.

Or there could in fact be multiple Gods...

Sarky

It would be awfully tempting to knock on those Gates and ask whoever answered if they believed in Jesus.

c_man

If there was a God and a heaven and you're at the Gates, what do you do?

Wait for him to show himself, then have a Klingon Bird of Prey appear from behind me and blow him to bits.

goodomens

If there was a God and a heaven and you're at the Gates, what do you do?

The very question seems like it's written by a person with the understanding of a five year old. First of all, a 'God' and 'a heaven' are not separate. Heaven is the human attempt to express the inexpressable - heaven is simply being in the presence of God. Heaven would not be heaven without God, it would be hell, nothing, desolation - separation from God.

I would guess if you rejected God all your life, and never once gave a chance for God to work in your life, by having faith - for once. Then you'd never even get the priveladge of experiencing Gods presence. Because your downfall would be you never once came out from your corner and courageously left your identity behind and believed God would be waiting for you, in love, on the other side. An atheist by choice, wouldn't even make it to the 'gates'. They would be permanently separated from God, by their choice alone, and the punishment being having to live with just themselves for eternity. An unimaginable pain.

The last part of the question is interesting. 'What would you do?' - As if to indicate that you could actually do anything in this situation, even if you did make it there. I'd say you wouldn't be able to do anything, all your 'doing' is already done. It is now up the just judge to hand out your sentence for your crimes. With you knowing full well, that you could have had faith (given permission for God to work in you) and done so much better.

I shudder at how awful that day will be for some. And wish it on no-one.

Turtwig

goodomens wrote: »

Heaven is the human attempt to express the inexpressable - heaven is simply being in the presence of God. Heaven would not be heaven without God, it would be hell, nothing, desolation - separation from God.

I just have one question :

"How do you know all this?"

Bob Cratchet

But what if there is a God ?

liamw

Malty_T wrote: »

I just have one question :

"How do you know all this?"

goodomens wrote: »

I would guess...

:rolleyes:

autonomy

Bob Cratchet wrote: »

But what if there is a God ?

I would say to him so what's the idea, we've came into the world, struggled our whole lives, to be finally judged by you to decide our eternity whether we join you in heaven, or get thrown into the pits! Personally I would rather not even exist

liamw

Bob Cratchet wrote: »

But what if there is a God ?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mmskXXetcg

liamw

goodomens wrote: »

I shudder at how awful that day will be for some. And wish it on no-one.

I shudder to think that you're worshipping the wrong god out of an infinity of possible gods.

Bob Cratchet

liamw wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6mmskXXetcg

Very telling hysterically insecure reaction from Dawkins.

Turtwig

Bob Cratchet wrote: »

Very telling hysterically insecure reaction from Dawkins.

Except it's not telling of Dawkins. Context is key.

Malty_T wrote: »

"that video is in fact one of the greatest travesties of the internet. Just like most people associate Pascal's Wager as an "achievement" of Pascal's, Dawkins gave one heck of an explanation of his views to that crowd and three entirely different answers to that women. The third one though, is the only one that most people will see.
If you want to make an honest critique if Dawkins then you should get your arse on Fora.tv and watch the entire lecture and q and a.

http://fora.tv/2006/10/23/Richard_Dawkins
(q14 - What if you are wrong?)
"

MungBean

Eat my hat.

bnt

I doubt that I'd get as far as the Gate: the heavenly version of the TSA would stop me at the mental detector and give me a good frisking, then call the cops, because I had a big bottle of Cognac in my carry-on luggage and no boarding pass.

CiaranMT

Bob Cratchet wrote: »

Very telling hysterically insecure reaction from Dawkins.

Wow - That's the oddest description of that video I've yet seen.

In response to the thread title: I'd ask what kind of sadist God is.

Turtwig

CiaranMT wrote: »

In response to the thread title: I'd ask what kind of sadist God is.

Each to their own I guess, whatever floats your boat.
Just make sure to agree on a safeword first.:pac:

goodomens

CiaranMT wrote: »

Wow - That's the oddest description of that video I've yet seen.

In response to the thread title: I'd ask what kind of sadist God is.

How do you know God enjoys human suffering? Maybe suffering can be used to grow as a person, and can be turned to good, as many have experienced.

ShooterSF

goodomens wrote: »

How do you know God enjoys human suffering? Maybe suffering can be used to grow as a person, and can be turned to good, as many have experienced.

and the lesson starving African children are being taught is?

johnmcdnl

goodomens wrote: »

How do you know God enjoys human suffering? Maybe suffering can be used to grow as a person, and can be turned to good, as many have experienced.

well if I had infinite power and I didn't enjoy something I wouldn't let it happen.......... surely he could invest his power into refining humans so they don't need to suffer to learn... make us learn some other way maybe??? but to make us suffer when he has infinite power basically makes him a prick in my eyes anyways.... how bad could the devil possibly be when you look at what this "good" god does according to every religion.... earthquakes, famines, tsumnais, volcanos, storms, murderers, rapists, - all created by this good god and lets them cause destruction to everyone and anyone seeming regardless of how good a person you are.... sure if Satan was running the show how much worse could he make it....


at the gates before they threw me out I'd at least ask why god did so much bad stuff if he is all powerful... and I'd then question was what I did wrong in life anything near as bad as a fraction of the stuff god does or allows on a daily basis... least I might get a reaction

The Mad Hatter

ShooterSF wrote: »

and the lesson starving African children are being taught is?

Don't be born poor.

Bob Cratchet

ShooterSF wrote: »

and the lesson starving African children are being taught is?

Their politicians are corrupt.
Man causes the suffering of man.

old_aussie

Close the gates behind me.

irishh_bob

Bob Cratchet wrote: »

Their politicians are corrupt.
Man causes the suffering of man.

the old free will defense , the problem with that arguement is the only ones with free will are the corrupt politicans , the starving kid with AIDS had no choice on the matter

victims dont have free will

Turtwig

Bob Cratchet wrote: »

Their politicians are corrupt.
Man causes the suffering of man.

That's might explain the last 1000 or so years but what about when nature was so harsh that humans struggled to survive?

Zillah

Bob Cratchet wrote: »

Their politicians are corrupt.
Man causes the suffering of man.

Foolish ten month old corpse should have overthrown its corrupt warlord before its mother gave it dirty water filled with God's innocent infectious micro-organisms.

johnmcdnl

Bob Cratchet wrote: »

Their politicians are corrupt.
Man causes the suffering of man.

and the Japanese tsunami and the Haiti earthquake were caused by man yeah???

Turtwig

johnmcdnl wrote: »

and the Japanese tsunami and the Haiti earthquake were caused by man yeah???

Pfft, closed minded atheist..

Bob Cratchet

johnmcdnl wrote: »

and the Japanese tsunami and the Haiti earthquake were caused by man yeah???

No, nature was just doing it's thing, pressure or the earths crust gets released, man is free to build in safer areas if he wishes, its called free will.