Fat,ugly or slutty?

5uspect

From RPS's Sunday papers:
http://fatuglyorslutty.com/

So we all know gaming is a male dominated pastime and we're increasingly told that the average gamer is pushing on 40. But this kind of behaviour is just beyond any kind of kiddie trolling.

Internet anonymity lets the hate filled homophobic little ****s run wild but what is wrong with some people? Is there anything that can be done?

Morag

http://www.bit-tech.net/gaming/2011/06/20/fat-ugly-or-slutty/1

The most common coping method I’ve heard about, though, is also the saddest; to not play online at all. Both men and women have said they completely ignore the multiplayer component of a game because of the likelihood of encountering obscene players.

This is genuinely sad to me. Video games are supposed to be about fun, but many people think it isn’t worth their time to play with their tormentors, so avoid games wholly.

Another common strategy for women is to hide their gender when they're online. Instead of embracing their own identity, they feel forced to assume the default and become the stereotype: male. This isn’t restricted to choosing TotallyADude69 as a username or selecting the brawniest, most chiselled male avatar – it also means not plugging in a mic or webcam. By far, the quickest way to create a barrage of abuse and laughably awkward come-ons is to have a woman say something on voice-chat. I’ve seen several readers comment that this onslaught is not usually triggered by any in-game event or the content of what is said – all that matters is that the speaker is a woman. Target spotted.

Thus, women play in silence. Target neutralised.

Ironically, this silence leads to a self-reinforcing stereotype that ‘girls don’t play games’, even in spite of statistics that say otherwise. Since they don’t often hear female voices through their headsets, many gamers believe they don't encounter any women playing video games.

In a funny kind of reversal, there’s also a common stereotype about the harassers too; that they are all 13 year-old American virgin boys! Just like all women gamers become either fat, ugly or slutty, there’s a confirmation bias at work here. We remember details that stand out, such as birth dates in usernames or whiny voices coming through crappy speakers, and they stand out more than they should.

Fat, Ugly or Slutty? Go Make Me A SandwichThe fact is, even if the abuse did only come from young boys, teens still grow up. They probably won’t mature per se, but they’ll definitely get taller! As proof, some of FUoS’ most disturbing and hateful audio submissions come from men who’ve obviously survived puberty. The result is made even more powerful because, now Little Timmy is all grown up, he’s only gotten more articulate, capable and creepy.

Sand

There ought to be a abuse/harrassment policy in place with most games/service providers. Report abuse, enforce the rules.

I know in games like EVE Online any sort of threats are taken extremely seriously. Someone might lose their cool and start screaming how theyre going to take an axe and go split another players head open with it. Those sort of things get reported and their accounts get banned.

The same ought to apply to these sort of messages. Telling someone theyre awful at the game fine - personal abuse - especially of a sexual nature/threats, not fine. Report them and ban them from the service.

5uspect

That's one of the weird thing, some of these are people sending messages with their xbox. Surely M$ can kick them or brick their console just as they did with all the hackers a while ago?

Are there any instances of such people getting publicly exposed for their behaviour?

Morag

M$ don't care.
You report them and it goes off into a black hole and you don't hear anything back.
Why would they ban someone when that means they will no longer get money off them.
All you can do is block them and hope they are not arsed creating a throw away account to hassle you. It's another good reason for those who get hassle to not link their xboxL account with any other sites or services. Last thing you want is some shíthead getting more info or more ways to give you grief.

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

it really depends on the community too, it's especially rampant on consoles because every teenage moron and their slightly older moron friends has an xbox or ps3

also tends to happen more with shooters . The likes of the starcraft 2 community is what I'd have most experience with and it's pretty indifferent to female gamers all in all. Obviously there is the occasional quasi-mysogynistic outburst but they're rare enough that they're very noticeable and are usually treated with the level of respect they deserve from the general community.

KilOit

I could fill that site to breaking point with all the crap I seen in WoW, horrid community

jaykhunter

Best thing to do is just play with your friends. If you venture online; make friends with the nice people u come across and stick with them. Generally if u find them via a sound site (boards, EBA etc) they'll b just fine.

I can't stand internet anonymity in general. It's not a problem on boards but on sites in general, it is.

Grumpypants

I rarely come across much abuse but then again i tend not to play COD or similar games that are idiot haven's.

Or what i sometimes dois turn on the head set and leave it on the table so i am not exposed to the interweb idiots.

Orim

Sharrow wrote: »

M$ don't care.
You report them and it goes off into a black hole and you don't hear anything back.
Why would they ban someone when that means they will no longer get money off them.

I'm sorry but that's just wrong. Take a look at the suspension forums on Xbox.com (http://forums.xbox.com/xbox_forums/xbox_support/f/41.aspx?PageIndex=1&forumoptions=::11::) People are banned on a regular basis. It's a lot harder to catch someone from voice comms abuse as there is no record.

Also is there any system in the world that gives you feedback on reports? What do you want a message saying that the account has been banned? MS don't do it, Boards doesn't do it, WOW doesn't do it. AFAIK no one does.

EDIT : Also, jesús what the hell is wrong with people. I thought I'd seen some bad hate mail but what the hell is wrong with them.

ShadowHearth

Woman gamers... FFs ... Go back to the kitchen!!! :d

Just joking.

We play lol now and we got 3 girls play with us. 2 of them are Asian twins... ( I **** you not ) . All ex wow players.

They are 25ish and we allways have a great crack. There will be allways thrown a sexist joke or racist joke or mum or fat joke, but it allways goes the fun way, No one gets offended.
Ussually when there is a female player all the males get softy and very different lol. Specially the single ones. Hard to see males being offensive to females online... Unless they don't know they offend female, females then go very offended and make it bigger problem them male insulting male. Because I am a girl!!

I have to admit I newer had problem with female players lol. They Ussually kick my arse! Females online in wow and lol. Female at home on mortal kombat and cvm3

Robert ninja

I was raised by three women, two of which where serious gaming nerds and most probably the reason why I'm a gaming nerd too. Obviously, hearing that women get **** just for being women when online gaming really p*sses the sh*t out of me.

I experience it first hand(-ish) with my sister getting an xbox 360. She got quite a lot of abuse and if she beat any male gamer who knew she was a girl (from using mic) they'd give her really bad rep. To this day, she gets a lot of weird attention and creepy voice and text messages. To avoid attention, she only really plays with freinds and joins a private chat room where all of them can talk with no outside interference. I get very mad at guys who doubt girls as gamers because I know full well they'ew just as good and deserve equal respect. But people don't often respect each other online (especially xbox) so adding in gender issues just makes it worse, but it's not the cause of the cancer.

I also ****ing hate girls who can't stop on about how rare they are for being -

Robert ninja

- girl gamers and even flaunt it. I just wanna headbutt them between the legs! XD

The only way I can ask girls to handle it is to become the change they want to see in the gaming community. Don't ever talk about being a girl gamer, since guys never talk about being guy gamers so don't make it a topic since we don't want it to BE a topic. Use mic as much as you wish (although not mic'ing is fine, I don't even mic cause I just don't like to), but play exactly as you wish. If all girls just played and didn't try to hide their gender, there would be a lot more apparent girl gamers around, enough to start making it the norm to the male community of gamers so they'd kinda get tired of pointing out now-regular occurances. "Hey look, it's a tree!" That may be amazing if you're in the desert of male gamers that we have these days but say that again in a city with some greenery and parks (the equivalent if women were 'meh' about their gender online) then such a statement as, "Hey look, it's a tree!" would seem dumb.

Retr0gamer

The anonymity that an online avatar affords people can give them the persona of absolute cockends. It saddens me to see the behaviour of these people when in real life they would probably be too frightened to even talk to a girl.

ShadowHearth

Robert ninja wrote: »

- girl gamers and even flaunt it. I just wanna headbutt them between the legs! XD

The only way I can ask girls to handle it is to become the change they want to see in the gaming community. Don't ever talk about being a girl gamer, since guys never talk about being guy gamers so don't make it a topic since we don't want it to BE a topic. Use mic as much as you wish (although not mic'ing is fine, I don't even mic cause I just don't like to), but play exactly as you wish. If all girls just played and didn't try to hide their gender, there would be a lot more apparent girl gamers around, enough to start making it the norm to the male community of gamers so they'd kinda get tired of pointing out now-regular occurances. "Hey look, it's a tree!" That may be amazing if you're in the desert of male gamers that we have these days but say that again in a city with some greenery and parks (the equivalent if women were 'meh' about their gender online) then such a statement as, "Hey look, it's a tree!" would seem dumb.

i have to say there was a situation, where there were 2 girls in chat, bouth gamers. one was a proper gamer just female version, properly cool girl/gamer any way you look at it, and the ather one was " I aM a female gamer! i play this this! i like that and that! i like doing stream of that! didnt you notice? i am a girl! LOOK AT ME!!!!"

i have to say it was super annoying...

i will actuolly ask those girls i play with, if they get alot of abuse. as i might not see it and being a bit ignorant. i know for sure that bunch does not play consoles at all.

Sand

Sharrow wrote: »

M$ don't care.
You report them and it goes off into a black hole and you don't hear anything back.
Why would they ban someone when that means they will no longer get money off them.
All you can do is block them and hope they are not arsed creating a throw away account to hassle you. It's another good reason for those who get hassle to not link their xboxL account with any other sites or services. Last thing you want is some shíthead getting more info or more ways to give you grief.

Most games/service providers make more money if they can sell to more customers. If whiny, socially inadequate gits are abusing and driving off their customers they are costing M$ far more money those whiny gits themselves pay. How many people simply dont bother picking up games or gaming in general because either the community is aggressve and immature, or is perceived as being aggressive and immature?

Sir Digby Chicken Caesar

and alot of the people they ban are just gona go straight out, make new accounts and buy a new sub

Sisko

lol

KilOit

Most abusive player i came across was a female gamer, it was on L4d and although she was very good, she didn't stop talking crap and team killing, actually a lot of bullying goes on in l4d, as in 3 friends are playing together and the 4th guy being me gets taunting and told to p1ss off and teamkilled or left to die and abandoned, some of them were girls. a girl among friends tends to be the leader of the pack and if she isn't happy the guys protect her and abuse the offending party who isn't doing anything wrong.
This was very apparent in guilds in World Of Warcraft were lots of girls play.

Laisurg

This kind of abuse has only ever happened to me once while playing games... it was fúcking hilarious, telling me he's going to come kill me irl and various obscenities.
I think this kind of thing is just a part of online gaming at this point, you'll always find people like that (especially on American servers), to be honest if someone takes these kinds of things seriously then there's something very wrong there.

Laisurg

KilOit wrote: »

Most abusive player i came across was a female gamer, it was on L4d and although she was very good, she didn't stop talking crap and team killing, actually a lot of bullying goes on in l4d, as in 3 friends are playing together and the 4th guy being me gets taunting and told to p1ss off and teamkilled or left to die and abandoned, some of them were girls. a girl among friends tends to be the leader of the pack and if she isn't happy the guys protect her and abuse the offending party who isn't doing anything wrong.
This was very apparent in guilds in World Of Warcraft were lots of girls play.

This is actually very true but to be honest i just love to laugh at the sad ejjits who are getting all hot and bothered about the damsels in distress :L

Shapey Fiend

I've been playing online games for 15 years (on PC) and never had much problem. If there's some idiot on a microphone shouting ****** I just mute them.

I don't know how XBox live works but if they designed it properly I'm sure there wouldn't be any problems. Just make it a 2 second job to block someone, and a long process to set up a new account and/or limit the number of extra accounts someone can set up.

5uspect

This is more like it:
http://www.dorkly.com/video/17993/duke-nukem

krudler

for the lulz recently I've been using the G!RL clan tag on Modern Warfare 2 and have my callsign set to this:

and my emblem to this:

and the amount of abuse/flirting messages I get is fcuking amazing, I recommend everyone to do it and just see how many abusive pm's you get (moreso if you're good) and how much people talk about you in the lobbies after games, its ridiculous.

ShadowHearth

Hmmmm well I had a wee chat with one of the girls that we play with.

Does she get alot abuse playing as a girl?

Amswer shocked me: " **** loads! ". She does not say to athers that she is a girl, only to to friends she plays with. She does not say to anyone if she plays with randomers

Now she would not be ones of those who would get thick or something, and she allways goes for the lulz.

I can't believe there are so many sexist little assholes... That actuolly makes me sad, as I was thinking way better about gaming community .

Fnz

ShadowHearth wrote: »

Does she get alot abuse playing as a girl?

Amswer shocked me: " **** loads! ". She does not say to athers that she is a girl, only to to friends she plays with. She does not say to anyone if she plays with randomers

This had me confused for a minute... I assume she must use voice chat?

ShadowHearth

Fnz wrote: »

This had me confused for a minute... I assume she must use voice chat?

Well we allways use vent or skype.

Fnz

ShadowHearth wrote: »

Well we allways use vent or skype.

So that's how people, online, know her gender? I'm trying to understand how she receives sexist abuse.

Morag

Depends on the game system.

Having a female avatar/pic on xboxl will do it or if you don't speaking in a party while playing on line or if your playing on pc using TS or Vent and speaking will also out a person as being female and then the crap starts and those who are not ragging on you or chatting you up get pissed off at the disruption and blame you instead of the arseholes who are making a fuss over there being a gamer who is famale play.

A gamer who is female, cos you know some of us are over 21 and women.
Nothing worse then some idiot making a fuss cos he doesn't think women play and they want to know if you are real, usually telling them you've been playing games online line longer then they have had pubes tends to shut them up.

Gandalph

Sticks and Stones.

I know my room mate is always at the abuse on xbox live when ever he can be arsed to stick in the headset but if he hears a girl online he will jump at the chance to throw some abuse. Yet in real life he is terrified of girls and is really really quite, its just peoples nature of protection behind a screen I suppose.

From years of online gaming Im used to being targeted but Iv learned to just laugh at it, I kinda love the attention now. Recently got a message on Black Ops going;
"you cheating camping f**k, you only get high scores coz your a hacker etc.".....I was using lightweight and a sub-machinegun so no camping, only finished with like 22-11 (pretty bad score for me!) and I wudnt have the 1st clue on how to hack the game.

I guess people just like to went their frustration at something

Fnz

Gandalph wrote: »

Sticks and Stones.

I know my room mate is always at the abuse on xbox live when ever he can be arsed to stick in the headset but if he hears a girl online he will jump at the chance to throw some abuse. Yet in real life he is terrified of girls and is really really quite, its just peoples nature of protection behind a screen I suppose

Can I ask, what age is he... and why do you reckon he does it?

Morag

Saying sticks and stone is all well and good but,
when nearly every time you play and don't hide that you are a gamer who is female you get abuse/hassle it wears thin, gets frustrating and if the same 'your not wanted here' message get targeted at you time and time again it is going to wear a person down.

To a guy who does this they are just mouthing of maybe once a week to a female gamer, but due to the number of guys online compares to girls, the average female gamer will be in the receiving end of this shíte several times a week, unless she makes sure she can't be found out.

Which is crap esp with team work neede games on consoles where you need to communicate and it also means you can't take part in any of the banter.

Wompa1

I got dogs abuse from a guy from Glasgow for being an Irish Catholic Cnut. I added 2 friends to the game and we had a fun back and forth with him, by the end of it we were all just having fun and there was no ill will

grizzly

I can't remember which game was implementing the system – could have been Halo Reach, knowing that Halo is seen as the worst offender for this – but it involved having a process where if you were muted across many different games by different people you could eventually be auto-muted for future games. I thought this was a very democratic and simple way to calm abuse. Probably took inspiration from things like the Youtube down-vote to obscurity system.

Gandalph

Fnz wrote: »

Can I ask, what age is he... and why do you reckon he does it?

22 and because he thinks its funny...not like I encourage it, I just tell him he abuses them online because he cant talk to them face to face, Im too used to women being online since my WoW days so I couldnt care less what gender Im playing against/with. If she's a b**ch I'll hurl some abuse, if not, then I cant be arsed. Same with lads.

But the internet is always going to be a place of absolute asshats, we just have to learn to deal with it. I understand your frustration and prob cant comment too much on the subject as Im male but in my opinion you just have to learn to take it in your stride...or at least roll in a gang, that **** always helps

You are your own person, F**k everyone else

I wish 95% of Gamers on Xbox Live were girls, it would make it far more interesting than most of the dickheads you hear online.
Unfortunately you cannot even have a conversation with someone else on Live without some prick acting up.:(

Fnz

Gandalph wrote: »

22 and because he thinks its funny...not like I encourage it, I just tell him he abuses them online because he cant talk to them face to face, Im too used to women being online since my WoW days so I couldnt care less what gender Im playing against/with. If she's a b**ch I'll hurl some abuse, if not, then I cant be arsed. Same with lads.

But the internet is always going to be a place of absolute asshats, we just have to learn to deal with it. I understand your frustration and prob cant comment too much on the subject as Im male but in my opinion you just have to learn to take it in your stride...or at least roll in a gang, that **** always helps

You are your own person, F**k everyone else

Well, hearing that crap becomes tiresome, and some examples on the website are genuinely offensive, regardless of self esteem considerations. Not to cast aspersions on yourself but "F**k everyone else" probably echoes the sentiment of the worst offenders.

I reckon something along the lines of the system Grizzly mentioned could alleviate the problem.

Shiminay

Gandalph wrote: »

22 and because he thinks its funny...not like I encourage it, I just tell him he abuses them online because he cant talk to them face to face, Im too used to women being online since my WoW days so I couldnt care less what gender Im playing against/with. If she's a b**ch I'll hurl some abuse, if not, then I cant be arsed. Same with lads.

That's genuinely pathetic. Your house mate and people like him sicken me and I wish nothing but ill upon their ilk.

Gandalph wrote: »

But the internet is always going to be a place of absolute asshats, we just have to learn to deal with it. I understand your frustration and prob cant comment too much on the subject as Im male but in my opinion you just have to learn to take it in your stride...or at least roll in a gang, that **** always helps

You are your own person, F**k everyone else

However, I must strongly disagree with this theory that the internet will always be full of asshats. This myth will only propagate as long as we allow it to. Sensible humans with more than 3 brain cells to rub together should speak out against it at every opportunity and no one should have to put up with it at all. Ever. We should never condone (through both action and inaction) any form of race/gender/age abuse.

Gandalph

Shiminay wrote: »

However, I must strongly disagree with this theory that the internet will always be full of asshats. This myth will only propagate as long as we allow it to. Sensible humans with more than 3 brain cells to rub together should speak out against it at every opportunity and no one should have to put up with it at all. Ever. We should never condone (through both action and inaction) any form of race/gender/age abuse.

Im not trying to start arguements here, Im a realist and I know you have better chance of ridding the world of poverty, sickness, violence than you have of ridding the internet of morons.

Glico Man

Loaded up COD with a new female orientated name and profile just over a few hours ago... sweet jesus! Put my mic on mute and the amount of abusive names I got called and messages I got from just an hours play is ridiculous.

No wonder a few of my female mates just leave their mic on mute and have neutral names in games. I get sick of the teens screaming/shouting abuse at me, but I've never heard some of what they were saying when I was 'a girl'.

Makes me sick

Shiminay

Gandalph wrote: »

Im not trying to start arguements here, Im a realist and I know you have better chance of ridding the world of poverty, sickness, violence than you have of ridding the internet of morons.

You really don't You just have to oppose it at every opportunity. Report asshats, tell them they're asshats and refuse to play with clans/people who are asshats. Saying "I can't do anything about it, so why bother" never fixed anything. Nothing worth doing is easy, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't do it.

Morag

It is a good ideal and an excellent ideal but,
I can't see most lads getting into it with a mate over some randomer who happens to have tits on xboxl, esp if they only see it happening once a month. They won't. Which is our loss.