A joke gone wrong

inverse87

Hi
Im not sure if posting this is against the forum rules but I am just looking for opinions at the moment.
Back at the end of April I set my friend an account on a gay dating website and sent his number to a few people. I know it was a stupid thing to do. The profile was shut down after about a week. When this happened I assumed someone had flagged the website that the account was a fake account and I was just trolling. I thought no more about it after this had happened as my friend didnt get in contact with me or anything over it.
Then at the start of this month I got a call from the Garda about it and they told me that my friend had made a formal complaint against me. The guard was understanding and knew that it was just a joke gone wrong but he had to follow it up with a statement. He also told me no legal action would be taken against me given the circumstances. He told me that my local garda station would get in contact with me about making a statement. This has yet to happen and i'm waiting on them to call me.
In the mean time i've tried calling my friend to apologise but he wont answer my calls so I sent him an apology in a text message. He has spoken to a mutual friend and said he's planning to "do me for all he can get".
I have a feeling he's going to threaten me with a solicitor so he can get money out of me. I've been in contact with flac about this but I cant get a meeting with someone till next month. I know I was wrong in what I did but is his reaction out of proportion?
I am just out of college and unemployed so if he was to try and extort money from me by doing this or suing me through a solicitor I wouldnt be able to pay. Its really stressing me out and I've no real idea where I stand at the moment. I know theres no criminal issue here, its the civil side that Im worried about. All I can do at the moment is wait for him to get in contact but after that I dont know where I stand.
Anyway thats my story!

Wolfe Tone

This guy is a friend?

NewFrockTuesday

Youre sure hes not pranking you back?

Cill Dara Abu

Your friend is a cnut, he obviously has no sense if humour, did you not realise this might happen before you decided to give out his number on a gay web-site

inverse87

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

This guy is a friend?

Well former friend now I suppose. I lived with him for about 4 years in college. I've no idea why he didnt get in contact with me first before going to the guards. We used to always play jokes on each other too but maybe I went a bit far with this one.

inverse87

NewFrockTuesday wrote: »

Youre sure hes not pranking you back?

The thought has crossed my mind but from what Im told he's really pi$$ed about the whole thing.

keysersoze0330

Bit ott on his part tbh.

inverse87

Cill Dara Abu wrote: »

Your friend is a cnut, he obviously has no sense if humour, did you not realise this might happen before you decided to give out his number on a gay web-site

I knew he would get angry but I didnt know he would go to these lengths. The most harm that was done was that he got a few unwanted phone calls.

charlemont

Fair funny alright, Dont worry about it.

tfitzgerald

I don't think your friend is one bit ott as a matter of fact I think what you have done was very mean , but I also think he is only making you sweat a bit

deman

inverse87 wrote: »

I know theres no criminal issue here, its the civil side that Im worried about.

Is Identity Theft not a crime?

Bad joke gone wrong. And you're worried about the stress it's been causing YOU?

inverse87

deman wrote: »

Is Identity Theft not a crime?

Bad joke gone wrong. And you're worried about the stress it's been causing YOU?

I thought so too but when the guards called me they said they wouldnt be taking it further they just have to follow up every complaint with a statement.
It wasnt exactly identity theft either. Its more like I gave him a new online identity.

wobbles

Hes pranking you back OP and sounds like hes got you good.

Did the call from the gardai come from a landline or a mobile. Mobile or blocked number its definatly a prank. If it was a landline you should be able to call it from a different number to confirm its actually a gardai station.

'If' it does go to court theres a history of pranks between you so i wouldnt worry about it too much.

MIRMIR82

I honestly think u've been had - its all a joke to get u back - how long is he not talking to you?

inverse87

wobbles wrote: »

Hes pranking you back OP and sounds like hes got you good.

Did the call from the gardai come from a landline or a mobile. Mobile or blocked number its definatly a prank. If it was a landline you should be able to call it from a different number to confirm its actually a gardai station.

'If' it does go to court theres a history of pranks between you so i wouldnt worry about it too much.

I got the call from a private number but I was given the garda stations number to ring back if I had any questions. I rang today and asked for the investigating guard. They took a message and said he'd get back to me later.

inverse87

MIRMIR82 wrote: »

I honestly think u've been had - its all a joke to get u back - how long is he not talking to you?

About 3 weeks. What I think is strange is that the account was shut down down for about a month before he made the complaint.

theparish

Once had a wedding reception and hotel booked in my name by a couple of knobhead friends.It went as far as them trying to organise a Russian bride,all this before the internet.I let them sweat for a while when solicitors were mentioned as the hotel started making noise.

Reloc8

inverse87 wrote: »

I thought no more about it after this had happened as my friend didnt get in contact with me or anything over it.

Wierd.

How close of a friend is/was he that you don't see him for a month or so - or did you see him and just not talk about it ? Are you sure he was a close enough friend to be at this kind of lark with him ?

Anyway (fair enough you said what you did was stupid), nothing you can do as regards legal options really except co-operate with the gardai and get their file closed at least.

FLAC/legal aid won't be funding a solicitor for you if he decides to take it the legal route so I don't know if I'd waste my time there.

Basically if he decides not to laugh it off you are likely to be liable for damages in defamation - leave aside the notion that you labelled him as homosexual, you also seem to have given people the impression that he might be available for a relationship...I don't know if its fair to speculate that the kind of relationship you set him up for was unlikely to lead to a civil union but that's the impression I get.

If I was you I'd be putting it out through mutual friends that you know you were bang out of order and are very regretful about the whole thing, don't know how to make it right but really want to meet up with him about it and apologise in person etc. etc.

amen

I rang today and asked for the investigating guard

tut tut. You should check the stations number in a telephone directory.

inverse87

Reloc8 wrote: »

Wierd.

How close of a friend is/was he that you don't see him for a month or so - or did you see him and just not talk about it ? Are you sure he was a close enough friend to be at this kind of lark with him ?

We lived together for about 4 years, so pretty close. We live at opposite ends of the country which is why I wouldnt speak to him too regularly any more.
We were close enough for him to pi$$ in my bed after a night out and me to do just turn the other cheek so yes we would have been close enough to carry out this kind of lark.

Still no word from the garda today. When I rang his local station they said he was at work and would be in contact at some stage today.
Does it really take 2 weeks for a complaint made at one end of the country to be forwarded to another station somewhere else?

murrayp4

I've received a good few calls from garda stations- sometimes the number will show, sometimes it comes up as a blocked number.
Still, this sounds very much like a case where the OP may have been pranked.

inverse87

murrayp4 wrote: »

I've received a good few calls from garda stations- sometimes the number will show, sometimes it comes up as a blocked number.
Still, this sounds very much like a case where the OP may have been pranked.

It could be. Il probably find out by the end of the week either way.

scotty_irish

if he is pranking you, i'm pretty sure there's laws against impersonating a guard - time to get your own back methinks! play him at his own game:D

discus

Just find him and beg beg beg for forgiveness.

tayto lover

Just go to the Garda Station and have a word with the named Garda and he will tell you if its a prank or not. Why wait if its worrying you ?

Darksaga87

Im dying to see how this ends! Dont bail on us OP, too many threads end like that.

Hope it is just a joke. If so, your mate is a prank genius!

If not, he needs take the broom out of his ass.

inverse87

Once its over I'll let you know how it ends. I know he is friends with some guards so its not beyond possibility that he just used them to put the sh*ts up me.

efb

Well someone will get there sh!ts put up them it seems!

TylerIE

Darksaga87 wrote: »

If not, he needs take the broom out of his ass.

If his friend is a teacher or planning travel to Africa or even to work in certain parts of the States being labelled gay on an online site can jeopradise his career.

If the OP put pictures up as well as phone numbers they are open to the world.

Theres countries in Africa where "practicing" homosexuals can be sentenced to life in prison, discrimination on the grounds of sexual orientation is acceptable in many states in the US (And is VERY likely to happen in the Bible belt, and even in some of the more liberal states where there would be Catholic employers). Even here teachers can lose their jobs for being gay.

Furthermore he could have created rumors that dont go away. I recently heard of someone who had some gay rumors circulating about them when younger. They go abroad for a few years, meet a lovely lady, get engaged, come back to Ireland and fiancé hears of the old rumors. Cue serious issues in that relationship as she understandably needs reassurance that she is not just a skirt.

Some of the high profile bullying cases in the US late last year, which included a number of suicides, were owing to the victims perceived sexuality. You state your friend is from the other end of the country. In rural areas perception in terms of sexuality, is reality.

Finally if his friend was privately questioning his sexuality, unwanted and unsolicited advances from some sleazy dating site (I doubt the OP was picky about choosing a website that focused on long-term relationships) is hardly going to help, and will set him back years. And you cant say you know or knew for sure he wasnt, the amount of guys who are "100% straight" per their friends, who are in fact gay, is unbelievable.

Darksaga87

^^

Your a little special aren't you?

Our man in Havana

OP, you are under no obligation to make a statement.

MagicSean

I can't see what criminal offence you have committed. Although you may get screwed for defamation.

Reloc8

inverse87 wrote: »

...
We were close enough for him to pi$$ in my bed after a night out and me to do just turn the other cheek so yes we would have been close enough to carry out this kind of lark.

Certainly the height of comradeship there alright.

inverse87 wrote: »

Still no word from the garda today. When I rang his local station they said he was at work and would be in contact at some stage today.
Does it really take 2 weeks for a complaint made at one end of the country to be forwarded to another station somewhere else?

Yeah it can do but more realistically its an indication that no one is taking it too seriously as a criminal matter. No need for you to be on the blower to them every second day - if someone want's to talk to you they'll be on to you presuming you left your number.

Victor

wobbles wrote: »

Mobile or blocked number its definatly a prank.

Most gardaí, solicitors and journalists will block their IDs to stop third parties finding out they were talking.

Monty Burnz

I wonder is your friend an insecure homophobe? It would explain his OTT reaction here.

funki_munkee

Why does everyone think his friend is only pranking him?? To me it sounds quite legitimate! Not the friends reaction now, cuz that does seem quite O.T.T. but like if the friend only got a Garda to wind him up, surely he would have made the Garda give him a good scare eg start spouting out fake laws and threaten the OP with imprisonments or fines etc etc. I think because the Garda acted so flippantly that it is an indicator that a complaint had been received but that the Gardai themselves did not regard it too seriously! If it was a wind up the prankster would have been laying it on thick ya know? I also wouldnt think much of the fact that its taking them so long to make a move, arent they notoriously slow reactors? Sorry not to alarm you I could be totally wrong thats just what I got from my reading of the matter!

barone

what was his number again?

Overature

id have a hard time laughing if somebody did that to me, what did you think would happen?

poisonated

That sort of prank is done quite a bit between friends but p.issing on someones bed?! That is horrible. You're "friend" sounds like an a.ss if he would call the gardai over this but think it's acceptable to p.iss in your bed.

jonsnow

If you are worried that hes going to sue you-don,t be.Defamation cases are horrendously expensive to run and if they are run at all it is invariably against someone with "deep pockets"-a paper etc.You are an unemployed student.He can,t get blood out of a stone.Seeing as you are broke I would be very surprised if any solicitor wasted his time on going after you.It is probably your mate just getting you back.

Wildlife Actor

inverse87 wrote: »

We were close enough for him to pi$$ in my bed after a night out and me to do just turn the other cheek so yes we would have been close enough to carry out this kind of lark.

Did he pi$$ on your other cheek? And what set of cheeks are we talking about anyway? Either way, that's pretty close. There's a lot of issues going on here...

tayto lover

funki_munkee wrote: »

Why does everyone think his friend is only pranking him?? To me it sounds quite legitimate! Not the friends reaction now, cuz that does seem quite O.T.T. but like if the friend only got a Garda to wind him up, surely he would have made the Garda give him a good scare eg start spouting out fake laws and threaten the OP with imprisonments or fines etc etc. I think because the Garda acted so flippantly that it is an indicator that a complaint had been received but that the Gardai themselves did not regard it too seriously! If it was a wind up the prankster would have been laying it on thick ya know? I also wouldnt think much of the fact that its taking them so long to make a move, arent they notoriously slow reactors? Sorry not to alarm you I could be totally wrong thats just what I got from my reading of the matter!

The Garda could be waiting on telephone records to back up the complaint.
I know someone who had a similar incident and it takes time for the Gardai to obtain phone records to back up the case. It is an old offence, something like Post & Telegraphs act.

Zambia

I reckon the pissing in the bed was done while pissed+asleep.

By setting up this site as him the OP has claimed his identity for the purpose of contacting gay men.

Is this a criminal offence if so what is the offence?

What I am getting at is why would a Garda investigate something that is not an offence? Plus if it is an offence why would a Garda waste his time by investigating something and not charging someone?

No.2

tayto lover wrote: »

The Garda could be waiting on telephone records to back up the complaint.
I know someone who had a similar incident and it takes time for the Gardai to obtain phone records to back up the case. It is an old offence, something like Post & Telegraphs act.

For serious offences it's s.6 of the Communications (Retention of Data) Act 2011 that is now the most relevant but I think the earlier Interception of Postal Packets and Telecommunications Messages (Regulation) Act, 1993 also requires a serious offence to be suspected before a release is warranted. Both define "serious offence" and its a pretty high standard e.g. something warranting 5 years or more for the 2011 act, or one prescribed in the schedule. Don't know what the serious offence would be in this case ...

tayto lover

No.2 wrote: »

For serious offences it's s.6 of the Communications (Retention of Data) Act 2011 that is now the most relevant but I think the earlier Interception of Postal Packets and Telecommunications Messages (Regulation) Act, 1993 also requires a serious offence to be suspected before a release is warranted. Both define "serious offence" and its a pretty high standard e.g. something warranting 5 years or more for the 2011 act, or one prescribed in the schedule. Don't know what the serious offence would be in this case ...

Ok. The case i knew of was that someone sent the personal mobile number of a girl to many phones giving her name and announcing that she was available for sexual favours. Serious enough if its your name and number thats given and not too dissimilar to this imo. The Garda got the number of the person who did it through the phone company records and an investigation started. Didn't hear the outcome except that the culprit was discovered and interviewed by the Gardai.

MistyCheese

barone wrote: »

what was his number again?

That's not a bad idea. OP, have someone else ring the number of the 'Garda' station and try to order a cake or something. So that the person on the other end will respond with "This isn't a bakery, it's a ..." Garda station/private house/city morgue *delete as appropriate.

T2daK

1. Your friend has no friends or won't for much longer. If knew the person i'd give them the biggest kick in the balls they wouldn't be able to do anything nut scream/cry to the guards.

2. He clearly didn't make contact with you and try to resolve the situation out of court. So the Judge will throw it out. It's not as if you didn't try to make contact to apologise.

3. If I were you, I'd get all of your friends to spend a day registering him on every site going so much that he'll have to change his number

Reloc8

T2daK wrote: »

2. He clearly didn't make contact with you and try to resolve the situation out of court. So the Judge will throw it out. It's not as if you didn't try to make contact to apologise.

Complete bollocks.

T2daK

Reloc8 wrote: »

Complete bollocks.

What do you mean complete bollocks why do you have to be so rude.

They could have contacted you to ask what the hell you were at. You say sorry it didn't mean it to go this badly and that's it.

You clearly contacted them to apologise.

Judge's aren't stupid. If they did you for this then everyone would be running in after every practical joke ever undertaken.

Some one did me for something like this before, and got a few euro out of me. looking back on it now i should have called their bluff and told them to f**k off and get a life and some friends.

Call their bluff and pretend they never existed in you life.

OldmanMondeo

Jasus OP, If you done that to me the Gaurds would be involved, but to arrest me for beating the fvck out of you. What you done was well past stupid. Be glad you only got a call from the Gardai, weather real or not. Ya Plank...

T2daK

Reloc8 wrote: »

Complete bollocks.

OldmanMondeo wrote: »

Jasus OP, If you done that to me the Gaurds would be involved, but to arrest me for beating the fvck out of you. What you done was well past stupid. Be glad you only got a call from the Gardai, weather real or not. Ya Plank...

over the top man