Need Help (wimminz)

.SONIC.

hello there, how are you on this fine evening? id like to take the time to thank you for reading my thread, but now to the point

basically, theres a girl i really like and i dont know how to get her to like me, ive tried several things already. ive beaten up her brother (so she knows that im really strong) and one time there was guys laughing at her so i beat them up (ans now she knows ill protect her) but i need advice from the good old people of AH

unfortunately blasting with piss isnt an option BUT DUCT TAPE MIGHT BE!!

7sr2z3fely84g5

ask for lightbulb for your car.

PK2008

*Paging Cill Dara Abu*

phasers

Take the next logical step and beat her up.

super_furry

First things first. You have to mark your territory to ward off potential rivals. Find out where she lives and start pissing in her garden.

This will also help you earn the respect and support of her father, who will be able to see that you're a serious prospective mate for his daughter.

galwayrush

Have you tried beating up her parents yet?

Cypher_sounds

Go to jail, im sure she will love that!

AckwelFoley

Try and act like a man.


Beating up people is not what women want.. unless she's a scumbag

You have much to learn

1966

You're not proving anything yet = Beat up her granny !!

.SONIC.

phasers wrote: »

Take the next logical step and beat her up.

do you think that will work?? it could annoy her but at least shell know im a lover and a fighter

1966

Course it will work..................if she can't see your love shining through after that she ain't worth it and it probably was never meant to be.

Nodin

.SONIC. wrote: »

hello there, how are you on this fine evening? id like to take the time to thank you for reading my thread, but now to the point

basically, theres a girl i really like and i dont know how to get her to like me, ive tried several things already. ive beaten up her brother (so she knows that im really strong) and one time there was guys laughing at her so i beat them up (ans now she knows ill protect her) but i need advice from the good old people of AH

unfortunately blasting with piss isnt an option BUT DUCT TAPE MIGHT BE!!

Have you sent her a hard core "lesbian" porn clip via e-mail yet? Thats sort of the Red rose of the modern era.

phasers

.SONIC. wrote: »

do you think that will work?? it could annoy her but at least shell know im a lover and a fighter

I think it will work, and if you go too far she may beat you off

seanybiker

Really bad attempt at trying to get a thread going like our Brian.

danh789

Anyone who uses the word "wimminz" or "ghey" deserves a good hard smack in the face

.SONIC.

danh789 wrote: »

Anyone who uses the word "wimminz" or "ghey" deserves a good hard smack in the face

how would you like if i use my wrestling moves on you? come on guys, anymore advice??

goose2005

Burn down her house - that way she'll have to move in with you

lmaopml

I love Duct Tape, it fixes so many many things...

...it's a pity it's not virtual.

Meh..

danh789

.SONIC. wrote: »

how would you like if i use my wrestling moves on you? come on guys, anymore advice??

Wrestle?? How gay are you?

.SONIC.

dear danh789,

thank you for your contribution to the thread. im pretty sure that youve just won teh interwebs, but ill just have to check with my superiors!

yours in faith,
.SONIC.

danh789

.SONIC. wrote: »

Dear danh789,

Thank you for your contribution to the thread. I'm pretty sure that you've just won the internet, but I'll just have to check with my superiors!

Yours in faith,
.SONIC.

Fixed that for you.

.SONIC.

danh789 wrote: »

Fixed that for you.

Thanks man, that could have been really embarrassing if people saw that I had incorrect grammar on the Internet!

danh789

.SONIC. wrote: »

Thanks man, that could have been really embarrassing if people saw that I had incorrect grammar on the Internet!

I know, it could have caused you to remain a virgin for another 5 years.

.SONIC.

danh789 wrote: »

I know, it could have caused you to remain a virgin for another 5 years.

Yeah. I owe you big time dan!

--LOS--

how's that working for ya?

/dr phil

themadchef

Have you tried whipping out your cock?

I mean, maybe if you could make her laugh :pac:

The_Thing

Rohypnol

--LOS--

themadchef wrote: »

Have you tried whipping out your cock?

I mean, maybe if you could make her laugh :pac:

you mean beat himself up off in front of her

ye she'll love that

Where To

Have you tried asking her out?

oneill787

where do i go from here wrote: »

Have you tried asking her out?

that kind of trash talk sickens me wash ur mouth

mooman

The next logical step is to show her you are a good hunter and can provide food for her. If she has any pets you could try spearing them to death and cooking them. Otherwise you can hunt down the horses roaming your estate. I find a bow and arrow really gets the chicks going.

Oranage2

Have you tried beating up yourself? winninz love a good crazy person

ilovesleep

.SONIC. wrote: »

unfortunately blasting with piss isnt an option BUT DUCT TAPE MIGHT BE!!

She might like it. You'll never know until you try. Theres a name for that carry on too. I say blast her with piss

ilovesleep

Try flogging her too

Cill Dara Abu

.SONIC. wrote: »

hello there, how are you on this fine evening? id like to take the time to thank you for reading my thread, but now to the point

basically, theres a girl i really like and i dont know how to get her to like me, ive tried several things already. ive beaten up her brother (so she knows that im really strong) and one time there was guys laughing at her so i beat them up (ans now she knows ill protect her) but i need advice from the good old people of AH

unfortunately blasting with piss isnt an option BUT DUCT TAPE MIGHT BE!!

Pah! Amateur

Logical Fallacy

Patience always win the day.

In this case, i would suggest a long and protracted campaign of stalking. Don't rush in though, start out small. In the beginning let her see you as she is out and about a few times...so that she puts it all down to coincidence. After that, increase the number of times she see's you to maybe twice or thrice a day, it's around now that up the stakes by insuring you always have one hand in your pocket when she see's you.

Around this time she will begin to suspect you might just be stalking her...the fact that you always have your hand in your pocket will lead to the double thrill of her not knowing if you are carrying a weapon or having a ****. Chicks dig a mysterious man!

Next step is to make awkward attempts to talk to her...always just appear out of nowhere and start kind of rambling at her...don't get too obsessed about yourself though as girls like to talk about themselves. Given that chicks tend to dig on celebrities i'd suggest talking about a strong interest in famous folk like Charles Manson and John Wayne Gacy then ask her questions about herself like what colour her underwear is (always wink when asking this question as if you already know) and how heavy her last period was. This is another double whammy, you are showing an interest in both fashion and female health issues...by now you are coming off as a total stud.

I reckon at this point she will start testing you. She'll be telling you to leave alone (she doesn't mean it), she might even get the cops involved...this is the ultimate test...don't bend to the whims of the love police!

Now it's time for the big moment, the stereo over the head, angels from heaven to proclaim your love gesture. The absolute sure fire way to win her heart is to burn "I BURN FOR YOU BITCH!" in 40 foot letter on the ground outside her house. The words will act as a symbol of the intensity of your love.

And that's really it, as this point expect her to come running from her house, screaming your name as a gesture of her love...her defences will finally have crumbled beneath the onslaught of your passion...it's entirely possible the enormity of the situation will have reduced her to tears...but that's okay because you will be crying as well (make sure your hand is still in your pocket).

If she is carrying a knife don't worry, this just means your plan has gone so smoothly that she wants to instantly get married and the knife is purely so she can cut the cake.

That Handsome Devil

1. Write the words "Smile if you'll have sex with me" on a sheet of paper.
2. Hand her the sheet of paper.
3. She'll read, and smile/laugh at what she presumes to be this stupid joke.
4. She has now entered a contract with you, and do whatever you can to make sure it is fulfilled, force if necessary.

Easy!

Cill Dara Abu

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

Patience always win the day.

In this case, i would suggest a long and protracted campaign of stalking. Don't rush in though, start out small. In the beginning let her see you as she is out and about a few times...so that she puts it all down to coincidence. After that, increase the number of times she see's you to maybe twice or thrice a day, it's around now that up the stakes by insuring you always have one hand in your pocket when she see's you.

Around this time she will begin to suspect you might just be stalking her...the fact that you always have your hand in your pocket will lead to the double thrill of her not knowing if you are carrying a weapon or having a ****. Chicks dig a mysterious man!

Next step is to make awkward attempts to talk to her...always just appear out of nowhere and start kind of rambling at her...don't get too obsessed about yourself though as girls like to talk about themselves. Given that chicks tend to dig on celebrities i'd suggest talking about a strong interest in famous folk like Charles Manson and John Wayne Gacy then ask her questions about herself like what colour her underwear is (always wink when asking this question as if you already know) and how heavy her last period was. This is another double whammy, you are showing an interest in both fashion and female health issues...by now you are coming off as a total stud.

I reckon at this point she will start testing you. She'll be telling you to leave alone (she doesn't mean it), she might even get the cops involved...this is the ultimate test...don't bend to the whims of the love police!

Now it's time for the big moment, the stereo over the head, angels from heaven to proclaim your love gesture. The absolute sure fire way to win her heart is to burn "I BURN FOR YOU BITCH!" in 40 foot letter on the ground outside her house. The words will act as a symbol of the intensity of your love.

And that's really it, as this point expect her to come running from her house, screaming your name as a gesture of her love...her defences will finally have crumbled beneath the onslaught of your passion...it's entirely possible the enormity of the situation will have reduced her to tears...but that's okay because you will be crying as well (make sure your hand is still in your pocket).

If she is carrying a knife don't worry, this just means your plan has gone so smoothly that she wants to instantly get married and the knife is purely so she can cut the cake.

Tl;dr you've thought way too much about this.

Logical Fallacy

Cill Dara Abu wrote: »

Tl;dr you've thought way too much about this.

Well, in the last two days i've offered advice on the best reason to kill someone in a pub and how to win a ladies heart...i'd like to think these are subjects that justify a lot of thought.

Cill Dara Abu

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

Well, in the last two days i've offered advice on the best reason to kill someone in a pub and how to win a ladies heart...i'd like to think these are subjects that justify a lot of thought.

Okay Oprah :pac:

The King of Moo

Clearly this is one of them fancy modern womens who for some reason isn't impressed by you beating a variety of people up.
She's obviously looking for a sensitive, gentle lover. Tell her you love poetry and puppies and will write a poem for her. About puppies.
If this somehow doesn't work, then obviously she is looking for a macho man, but you still don't match up. You're therefore going to have to abandon your successful campaign of beating people up and upgrade to murder.
Obviously you'll have to send her body parts from your victims to prove you've killed them.

FesterBeatty

I saw a girl in the crowd
I went over, I shouted out
I asked if I could take her out
But she said that she didn't want to

I changed the sheets on my bed
I combed the hairs across my head
I sucked in my gut and still she said
That she just didn't want to.

You got the no pussy blues

dizzle with ur frizzle

sing, me and you baby should do it like they do it on the discovery channel, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xat1GVnl8-k works like a drem

Larianne

Flash the cash or get a car.

Or both.

Turpentine

Logical Fallacy wrote: »

Well, in the last two days i've offered advice on the best reason to kill someone in a pub and how to win a ladies heart...

That lady sounds a little high-maintenance.

deathrider

Hang on! You've beat up everyone (ever) and you haven't even killed anyone yet? What kind of a man are you?

Swampy

Jizz into your hand and spiderman her. All girls love a hero.

Balmed Out

Try the chat up line that never fails.

You get one peice of cloth and douse it in chloroform or ether which will do the job just as well, trust me.

Then approach the girl when no one else is around and just ask her to smell your cloth, immediately holding it up to her mouth and nose.

This has never failed to knock a girl off her feet for me though that could possibly be because im so much better looking then you.

Standard Toaster

Kick her square in the ovaries and she shall be yours for the taking.

jme2010

Standard Toaster wrote: »

Kick her square in the ovaries and she shall be yours for the taking.

Nah, throw her into a shelf of antique door handles in disgust.

phill106

Either lightbulb for the car, or ask if she does grinds.


Or, and bear with me on this one, ask her to babysit your imaginary younger sibling. Before she comes, ensure one bedroom looks like a kids room. Make sure to leave the window open and accessible from the outside.
When she arrives, tell her the child is upstairs asleep.
When you come back, ask was the child any trouble, and then go to check on the child.
When it is discovered the child is missing, she will be distraught and feeling guilty.
That is when you make your move...
Tell her if she goes out with you, you will promise not to say anything to the cops.

Profit...