Proposal to end Junior Cert. & exterminate all persons involved in its organisation.

Doublechinlolz

Hello all. As you are aware, the Junior Cert is A phrase which strikes cold, metallic fear into the hearts of millions.
A set of tests rigid in standards, repetitive in nature, and i hereby tak this oppurtunity to propose it be abloished.
Why? People do not care about it. Statistics show 83 and a half % people throw their results in the bin! However it was only when I delved deeper that I realised the true horrors - an estimated 7291 people were hospitalized after or during the Junior Cert last year. 7291 Innocent people. They had no hand in their being involved. They were forced by the state. The state that should protect them.

Whos with me on this proposal?

Superbus

The Junior Cert has about as much consequence as the sandwich I had for lunch today.

And that was a particularly inconsequential sandwich.

Vorsprung

Did German not go well?

anirishlad

Mark i agree with you completely

I believe the junior cert is a stain on our education system and needs to be wiped out for good.It encourages everything that is wrong with education.A huge memorising test,what is the point in that my fellow board members.It dampens the creative spirit in our truely gifted young people and makes them used to a system that could implode at any time.

I believe we need a radical overhaul in terms of teaching and the system itself.I believe a proposal needs to be put forward for continous assesment not a big mess of a examination we call the junior cert.

A recent statistic showed that 1 in every 10 junior cert pupil suffered a nervous breakdown or a traumatic breakdown during the junior cert.How is that fair on the young people taking the junior cert?

Its time to call out the government on these ridiculous examination,whos with me?

cosmicfart

I passed the Junior cert years ago so have no problem with it making your life a living misery :pac:

Desire.

What is so terrible about the big, bad JC? Well allow me to explain with a few short anecdotes...

1) Little Timmy was a young boy approaching the age of sweet sixteen. He was, as all teenagers are, awkward and unsure of himself. When the time of the exams cam around Timmy got his pencil case together, with all 16 of his spare pens (you can thank his over the top parents for that one) and various writing equipment.

When he entered the examination hall Timmy suddenly caught a bug, known as the dreaded examination sickness bug. He threw up on the spot and died spontaneously. Three other students died as well from watching.

2) Theresa was one of the students present when Little Timmy died. However she was slightly short sighted and did not see what went on. So she managed to survive to stage two.

She sat down, armed with a freshly sharpened pencil, while the examinations were being passed out. When she received her examination paper, she started writing her name on it, as one would do in an exam situation. But the second her pencil hit the paper, she got up from her seat, screaming, and ran out of the exam hall. She was found three months later in a ditch, laughing manically and gibbering, having no idea who or what she was, and having chewed off her left leg.

3) Whippersnapper John was a bright young individual. He was good looking, clever, honest, and most importantly, knew how to survive exams. He had never died in an exam situation. His family line were not prone to dying in exam situations. Yet still, this tragic tale of woe and misery ended up with the JC killing him.

After he had handed up his Maths exam paper, he calmly started walking out of the room. But something was wrong. There was a peculiar smell in the air. THE DREADED JUNIOR CERTIFICATE EXAMINATION PAPER SMELL. This smell is to be avoided at all costs. Whippersnapper John was wearing a clothes pin on his nose for this very reason. But a molecule of this poisonous smell got into his left nostril. The smell turned him insane. He paused, sniffed the air some more... and ran over to the side of the room and spectacularly leaped out the window.

Each of these tales ends with a young person dying. Each of these deaths were preventable. The Junior Certificate was the cause of all these deaths.

I now proclaim that it should be banned.

cosmicfart

The JC is a warm up exercise for the LC, if you cant hack it go become a mechanic

krudler

Junior cert? lol I dont even remember my leaving cert results, they dont matter anymore.

it is time the education system was overhauled though, its basically Read, Remember, Regurgitate. doesnt matter if you can understand something, long as you remember the text.

krudler

cosmicfart wrote: »

The JC is a warm up exercise for the LC, if you cant hack it go become a mechanic

I'd love to be able to strip an engine down and rebuild it, thats something that should be taught in school.

school for real men.

P H A 7V T O M

Good Evening Good Sir,
Now I must say that this issue with the Junior Cert has left me with sleepless nights for weeks on end. It agonizes me to think 14 and 15 year olds nationwide are given this psychological torture that is the junior cert to contend with, in only their third year of secondary education. Mark, I truly am glad you brought these issues to the surface. Finally, I will be able to use methods other than valium to get to rest in my frail old life, especially seeing as my time is nearly up. I am most definitely in "the winter months" within my life.


Just the notion that these teenagers who have barely left behind their childhood, are now faced with up to 12 rigorous examinations. I think it could be likened to water torture, even the thought of one of these young adults, being locked up in a sub-zero attic, with their eyes superglued open to a textbook, it's easy to see why actions like suicide have been the only way out for children.


However, this is scratching the surface. As a previous member of the State Examinations, there have been up to 13,600 fatalaties recorded in the Junior Cert examinations. We in the department prefer to call it "Irelands little secret". You may have noticed a distinct lack of teenagers above 15 on the streets anymore, this is the reason why. Whether it's at the hand of our Cannibal, Animalistic, Feral examiners or sudden death from hand cramps, which kill all nerve impulses to brain, our nation will be wiped out before 2012.

This is what the Mayans have predicted all along: on December 21st 2012, all children above the age of 14 will cease to exist in Ireland, with the rare few that do being as worthless as their brains, rendered useless by the years of psychological torture following strict study regimes and the harsh conditions of the exams themselves. Many are lucky to leave with their writing hands still intact, part of the Home Economics exam this year was to dissect your own hand, and assessing each piece individually.

This madness needs to stop, and fast. You cannot just pretend to ignore these situations, they must be dealt with, head on.

hotmail.com

The junior papers are ridiculously easy nowadays as well (because there's so many subjects, they've had to dilute the exam papers).

Joke.

shadowninty

Ladies and gentlemen and whoever else may be in the vicinity of these forums.

I am here today to propose an end to something.
Something which embodies the corruption and incompetence of modern day Ireland.
Something which has destroyed more lives than even Charlie McCreevy.

The Junior Cert. A phrase which strikes cold, metallic fear into the hearts of millions.
A set of tests rigid in standards, repetitive in nature.

However it was only when I delved deeper that I realised the true horrors - an estimated 7291 people were hospitalized after or during the Junior Cert last year. 7291 Innocent people. They had no hand in their being involved. They were forced by the state. The state that should protect them.

Even West Bengal, an Indian state known for its poverty, awards compensation to students for it's equivalent exams. Exams much less stressful and tough. The Irish state, cannot afford this though. However neither can it afford the pomp and ceremony involved with the Junior Cert.
In fact it is estimated that the Junior Certificate examinations drain €276 MILLION from the economy.

Some people may think exterminating those involved is quite harsh. Cut off their right hand and be done with it, the moderates say. However this is nonsensical. Removing those people from the public payroll only puts further strain of the welfare system and the perpetrators' families. Exterminating them in a humane, yet final way is a much more sensible solution.
It should be remembered that on average, 219 people involved with the SECs Junior Certificate program are found dead in suspicious circumstances each year. Thus it can also be argued that preemptively removing these people from life is also the least cruel way.

cosmicfart

krudler wrote: »

I'd love to be able to strip an engine down and rebuild it, thats something that should be taught in school.

school for real men.

yeah totally agree there should be a more wide ranging version of all subjects taught in schools as what is school? Training for your future career and not everyone is designed to be a doctor or whatever

Chuchoter

Junior Cert is a dry run for the LC. If they get rid of one they should get rid of the other.

The main pre-requisite for the JC is being able to read anyway. I got through Geography and got a B at HL and I spent most of the three years listening to my mp3 player and drawing pictures of the people sitting around me.

hatrickpatrick

The only thing which can be said for the Junior Cert is that it means that when you finally arrive at your Leaving Cert, you already know the procedure. No surprises in terms of how it works.

KungPao

A more pressing issue is....why isn't the Leaving Cert called the Senior Cert?

mikemac

Was called the inter cert in my day, feeling old

up for anything

NOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo, don't abolish the JC. I loved it. I loved the LC. I love exams. I love the full to bursting pencil case. The smell of the examination booklets. The crisp feel of the exam paper between my fingers. That sense of nervous anticipation that precedes turning over the paper. I love it all including the week before of cramming.

It's the day to day slog of school I hated.

ciano1

up for anything wrote: »

NOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo, don't abolish the JC. I loved it. I loved the LC. I love exams. I love the full to bursting pencil case. The smell of the examination booklets. The crisp feel of the exam paper between my fingers. That sense of nervous anticipation that precedes turning over the paper. I love it all including the week before of cramming.

It's the day to day slog of school I hated.

Somebody needs to get laid! :pac:

shadowninty

up for anything wrote: »

NOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo, don't abolish the JC. I loved it. I loved the LC. I love exams. I love the full to bursting pencil case. The smell of the examination booklets. The crisp feel of the exam paper between my fingers. That sense of nervous anticipation that precedes turning over the paper. I love it all including the week before of cramming.

It's the day to day slog of school I hated.

exam bondage much?

cosmicfart

KungPao wrote: »

A more pressing issue is....why isn't the Leaving Cert called the Senior Cert?

It should be renamed the thank god im getting the fook outta here cert

hotmail.com

crayolastereo wrote: »

Junior Cert is a dry run for the LC. If they get rid of one they should get rid of the other.

The main pre-requisite for the JC is being able to read anyway. I got through Geography and got a B at HL and I spent most of the three years listening to my mp3 player and drawing pictures of the people sitting around me.

This is one of the false myths about the junior cert propagated by schools to keep the students interested. You've fallen for it.

Niles

The Junior Cert is really quite irrelevant as far as qualifications, etc, are. However, as pointed out it does give one an idea of what the Leaving Cert is like without the consequences being too serious - a dry run as it were. At least then when sitting the LC it's not a completely new, horrifying ordeal which you've never seen before. You might also say that it gives one an idea as to where there strengths and weaknesses, what level to go for in the LC, etc...

TheBunk1

MarkD09 wrote: »

Hello all. As you are aware, the Junior Cert is A a phrase which strikes cold, metallic fear into the hearts of [millions. millions?
A set of tests rigid in standards, repetitive in nature, and i hereby tak take this oppurtunity opportunity to propose it be abloished abolished
Why? People do not care about it. Statistics show 83 and a half 83.5% of people throw their results in the bin! However it was only when I delved deeper that I realised the true horrors - an estimated 7291 people were hospitalized after or during the Junior Cert last year. 7291 Innocent people. They had no hand in their being involved. They were forced by the state. The state that should protect them.

Who's with me on this proposal?

Must try harder... D-

Aurum

Oh come on, it's just the Junior Cert. Even I, who was incredibly uptight about exams, realized that it was about as important as the previous end of year exams in First and Second year. And as others mentioned, it's good training for the Leaving.

Kinky Slinky

I remember the first day of 4th year our year head started his speech off with :
"The Junior Cert is a load of ****e"
"Forget about it"
"They mark the tests easy to encourage people to stay in school"

He had an old school approach to teaching.

abouttobebanned

They should have let, was it PJ fallon...run our educational system.

Busy at Maths.
Busy at microsoft office.
Busy at income tax.
Busy at sex.
Busy at driving.
Busy at swimming.
Busy at getting a job.
Etc.

You see my point though. To this day, as much as I've tried to introduce it to the conversation, I've never benefited from knowing what an ox bow lake is.

crayolastereo

crayolastereo wrote: »

Junior Cert is a dry run for the LC. If they get rid of one they should get rid of the other.

The main pre-requisite for the JC is being able to read anyway. I got through Geography and got a B at HL and I spent most of the three years listening to my mp3 player and drawing pictures of the people sitting around me.

so thats how you made your username

KungPao

abouttobebanned wrote: »

They should have let, was it PJ fallon...run our educational system.

Busy at Maths.
Busy at microsoft office.
Busy at income tax.
Busy at sex.
Busy at driving.
Busy at swimming.
Busy at getting a job.
Etc.

You see my point though. To this day, as much as I've tried to introduce it to the conversation, I've never benefited from knowing what an ox bow lake is.

My knowledge of erosion and deposition has made me proper beyond your wildest dreams.

Turpentine

MarkD09 wrote: »

However it was only when I delved deeper that I realised the true horrors - an estimated 7291 people were hospitalized after or during the Junior Cert last year. 7291 Innocent people. They had no hand in their being involved. They were forced by the state. The state that should protect them.

How? Paper-cuts? Rubber bullets for those who didn't put their pens down in time?

It's just a series of exams, a mid-second level assessment and a dry run for the leaving cert.

Most Irish citizens have managed to get through at least the Junior Cert.

Of course it can be stressful at the time but once you've gotten through your school exams they don't really matter one iota.

Would you prefer continuous assessment? That way you'd be continuously stressed for the whole duration of your school career.

Dionysus

The Junior Cert is the most important exam you will ever do. Ask any 1st, 2nd or 3rd year.

Likewise the Leaving Cert is the most important exam you will ever do. As is each and every one of those university exams. And so on, and so forth. Such is life.


And, when all is said and done, it's probably all bullshít but éist do bhéal.

Turpentine

abouttobebanned wrote: »

You see my point though. To this day, as much as I've tried to introduce it to the conversation, I've never benefited from knowing what an ox bow lake is.

When it wins you that bottle of whiskey at a pub quiz you'll be glad you wasted all that time on it.

johnmcdnl

has anyone at all ever used their junior cert results for anything...

Desire.

johnmcdnl wrote: »

has anyone at all ever used their junior cert results for anything...

CV until Leaving Cert.

Daisy03

johnmcdnl wrote: »

has anyone at all ever used their junior cert results for anything...

I just finished my final year in college and when looking for a job I applied to an investment bank. They had an online application form and had a section for junior cert results (or equivalent in other countries). Absolutely ridiculous! Had to go rooting for the bloody cert. Can't imagine they would have used it as a way of deciding between applicants!

UglyBolloxFace

MarkD09 wrote: »

the Junior Cert is A phrase which strikes cold, metallic fear into the hearts of millions

Your use of the very nonsensical phrase above leads me to believe that you either write for the Sindo or you have just completed the Junior Cert.

Kinky Slinky

Daisy03 wrote: »

I just finished my final year in college and when looking for a job I applied to an investment bank. They had an online application form and had a section for junior cert results (or equivalent in other countries). Absolutely ridiculous! Had to go rooting for the bloody cert. Can't imagine they would have used it as a way of deciding between applicants!

With an "A" in CSPE get used to hearing "you're hired!"

shadowninty

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

Your use of the very nonsensical phrase above leads me to believe that you either write for the Sindo or you have just completed the Junior Cert.

he stole that from me and yes I do write for teh Sindo

Eric Cartman

aww poor you , will we have a similar thread in 2/3 years about the leaving

Turpentine

By the way O.P., extermination seems a little excessive.

shadowninty

Turpentine wrote: »

By the way O.P., extermination seems a little excessive.

Read:

shadowninty wrote: »

Some people may think exterminating those involved is quite harsh. Cut off their right hand and be done with it, the moderates say. However this is nonsensical. Removing those people from the public payroll only puts further strain of the welfare system and the perpetrators' families. Exterminating them in a humane, yet final way is a much more sensible solution.
It should be remembered that on average, 219 people involved with the SECs Junior Certificate program are found dead in suspicious circumstances each year. Thus it can also be argued that preemptively removing these people from life is also the least cruel way.

Turpentine

shadowninty wrote: »

Read:

Indeed. Touche.

up for anything

ciano1 wrote: »

Somebody needs to get laid! :pac:

shadowninty wrote: »

exam bondage much?

My lady bits dried up when someone mentioned continuous assessment a few posts back!:(

Daisy03 wrote: »

I just finished my final year in college and when looking for a job I applied to an investment bank. They had an online application form and had a section for junior cert results (or equivalent in other countries). Absolutely ridiculous! Had to go rooting for the bloody cert. Can't imagine they would have used it as a way of deciding between applicants!

At least you were only about 22 when they looked for it. At 45 I applied for a job with VHI call centre and was shocked that they were actually demanding a copy of my LC and JC results which would have cost me something like €30 to get. What relevance did it have to my application other than ticking all the boxes. Tossers.

Cool_CM

Could be worse.

You could have the type of educational system where at the ages of 11/12/13 you have to choose between different types of secondary school. The type that you pick then determines whether or not you get to go to university afterwards.

JC is preparing you for the LC, which is important. There are a lot of problems with the Irish educational system, but it cannot be accused of being as elitist as other countries.