how well did you your parents know you as a teen?

cynder

how well did your parents know you as a teen?

Im all grown up now with kids of my own but my parents hardly knew me. I told them nothing about what was going on in my life. How about you?

At this point in time my 11 year old tells me everything but im sure that will change over the teen years.

timelessone

''hardley'' is spelt ''hardly''.

Kevin Duffy

I might ask my parents what the thread title means, it made my eyes go a bit funny.

Auvers

timelessone wrote: »

''hardley'' is spelt ''hardly''.

ffs

cynder

timelessone wrote: »

''hardley'' is spelt ''hardly''.

Can i use you as a spell checker from now on?

dammmmmmmm typos

chin_grin

Auvers wrote: »

for f*ck sake

FYP :pac:

Kylo Ren

Well this has started well....

stovelid

Cut to the chase.

You suspect that they;re doing yokes/drinking and want advice.

iamwhoiam

grindelwald wrote: »

how well did your parents know you as a teen?

Im all grown up now with kids of my own but my parents hardly knew me. I told them nothing about what was going on in my life. How about you?

At this point in time my 11 year old tells me everything but im sure that will change over the teen years.

How do you know ? I bet he / she doesnt ,:p

Seachmall

11? Have they started getting teh sechs? Shouldn't be long now...


I told my parents most things when I was a teen, the things I didn't tell them I'm pretty sure they knew anyway.

themadchef

iamwhoiam wrote: »

How do you know ? I bet he / she doesnt ,:p

Christ at 11? I was still rolling down grass banks with my mates till we thought we were going to get sick. Not getting up to mischief. Different world now i guess.

Wasint let to a disco till i was 16, worked like a slave all Summer to pay my way and if ididint tell my parents everything they'd have heard it elsewhere why? Because they wernt beered up and leaving us to our own devices at the weekends. They were hand on and in everything. She made it her business to know where i was and who i was with.

There is nothing, and i mean nothing i couldint tell my mother then and the same stands true today.

decisions

My parents still think I tell them everything.
Havent done that since I was 10 :pac:

iamwhoiam

themadchef wrote: »

Christ at 11? I was still rolling down grass banks with my mates till we thought we were going to get sick. Not getting up to mischief. Different world now i guess.

Wasint let to a disco till i was 16, worked like a slave all Summer to pay my way and if ididint tell my parents everything they'd have heard it elsewhere why? Because they wernt beered up and leaving us to our own devices at the weekends. They were hand on and in everything. She made it her business to know where i was and who i was with.

There is nothing, and i mean nothing i couldint tell my mother then and the same stands true today.

Why does everyone assume I mean that the 11 year old is up to no good? I didnt even imply it . I simply think that to say they tell you everything is naive .Every kid does mischief or things they shouldnt or messing or simply little things they dont tell .I grew up a long time ago , we were innocent and free but even at 11 I didnt tell that I would climb up the cliffs and hang off the edge .!
Mostly we find out and mosly we know but they dont tell everything .

old hippy

I tell my parents even less these days :eek:

flutterflye

Pretty soon everywhere he/she says they're going (the cinema, a mates house, McDonalds, school) will actually mean hanging around some street corner with a group of boys/girls doing things they shouldn't.

Midnight_EG

chin_grin wrote: »

Auvers wrote: »

for fuck sake

FYP :pac:

FYP

cosmicfart

me and the folks use to get butt naked out the back during the summer drinking flaggings of cider blasting out tha tunes with loads of smokes and yokes doing tha rounds, ah good times!

cynder

iamwhoiam wrote: »

How do you know ? I bet he / she doesnt ,:p

Thats one of the reasons i opened the thread....

im invisible

Midnight_EG wrote: »

chin_grin wrote: »

Auvers wrote: »

for fuck sake

FYP :pac:

Fixed Your Post

For Your Pleasure:cool:

TheZohanS

grindelwald wrote: »

how well did your parents know you as a teen?

Im all grown up now with kids of my own but my parents hardly knew me. I told them nothing about what was going on in my life. How about you?

At this point in time my 11 year old tells me everything but im sure that will change over the teen years.

I was having a great day...'til now...

OP how about you spare a thought for those of us that were adopted and never knew our parents.

iamwhoiam

grindelwald wrote: »

Thats one of the reasons i opened the thread....

Well , having been there a few times and infact been 11 myself I think there are things they dont tell .Not awful things but little messings, or sometimes to protect you .They might have bother in school or on the road and wont say cos you get upset . I know I did things at 11 that I would be horrified if mine did, ie cycling down hills, teasing swans , walking over ice etc etc .!! And I am sure mine did too at some stage and didnt come tell me .

cynder

TheZohan wrote: »

I was having a great day...'til now...

OP how about you spare a thought for those of us that were adopted and never knew our parents.

Sorry,

but what about your guardians did you tell them everything?

Elmidena

My dad didn't know too much, but used to tell Mum quite a bit. What I didn't tell her eventually came out anyway one way or the other, so I'd say fairly well overall.... though nobody seems to be actually answering this properly =s

cynder

I dont expect to be told everything, however she does tell me a lot now, like who she likes in school, and that a boy kissed her, she had a few boyfriends (that lasted no longer than 3 day), childish stuff really, but she tells me. The time to worry is when it stops being childish.

Seachmall

grindelwald wrote: »

I dont expect to be told everything, however she does tell me a lot now, like who she likes in school, and that a boy kissed her, she had a few boyfriends (that lasted no longer than 3 day), childish stuff really, but she tells me. The time to worry is when it stops being childish.

She'll have smoked her first cigarette by 14.
She'll have had her first drink by 15.
She'll have been stoned by 16.
She'll have had sex by 18.

You're welcome.

Abi

grindelwald wrote: »

At this point in time my 11 year old tells me everything but im sure that will change over the teen years.

Try to maintain that grindel, peer-pressure may send them down some roads and having a parent that they can talk to will be invaluable to them. You can guide them through stuff they might want to talk about but are afraid their friends will laugh at them if they're honest.


My Dad is a cool guy, but I never really would have approached him about anything because I felt he was fine being a dad, but mothers were for advice. I still perceive him this way and I'm in my thirties. Then there was my mother, no you couldn't really talk to her about anything. She was strict, and never really had a childhood / teenage years as she was treated harshly growing up. As a result, they would have known very little about me as a teenager, and I have to say it would have been nice to be able to have a chat with them about stuff.

I've watched parents of my friends balling screaming and shouting at them over stuff, believe me you get no where dealing with a teenager in that way. All it does is builds up resentment, and closes up the lines of communication between parent and son / daughter.

I think it's great that you're asking about this, and looking for the best way to handle things Grindle, in my house it was 'my way or the high-way' with my parents. If they can't talk to you, then they'll be forced to make choices on their own or that their friends have made.

Stay approachable and hear them out, then guide / offer advice and experience

im invisible

Seachmall wrote: »

She'll have smoked her first cigarette by 14.
She'll have had her first drink by 15.
She'll have been stoned by 16.
She'll have had sex by 18.

You're welcome.

what about piercings and/or tattoos?

Seachmall

im invisible wrote: »

what about piercings and/or tattoos?

She's 11, she could probably blend in with the Hell's Angels at this stage.

cynder

Haha, my mother was a hells angel...... During her teen years....

we also allow her to have a small glass of wine or west coast cooler so drink won't be too tempting later on..... I hope I've taught her enough about drugs though. Think she has a good head on her shoulders for that part.

--LOS--

no and they know less now

Aoifey!

My parents thought they knew me, but they didn't.

Cupcake_Crisis

Not at all, but in fairness it wasn't for lack of trying. I was a bit of a brat as a teen and i wouldn't want them knowing half the stuff i got up to. They know even less now.

Overheal

My stepmother knew me pretty well I'd say. back then I had a fun habit of using BluTac and photo-printed porn, attached it to the glass shower and had a blast. This was before online video was really available, we were still on dialup so you had to find a really nice pic of a gorgeous 20 something with big boobs and just go with it. I did this a lot.

But one day I got out of the shower, went to lay down (I was tired after all) and forgot about it. Thats when she came home from work and went to go take a poo in the bathroom before I could even think about it.

She was out of that bathroom after about 15 seconds and she drove off. The old man had a long talk with me afterward. But yeah she could have told you what my type was right down to the cup size and favorite pose.

Spread

Overheal wrote: »

My stepmother knew me pretty well I'd say. back then I had a fun habit of using BluTac and photo-printed porn, attached it to the glass shower and had a blast. This was before online video was really available, we were still on dialup so you had to find a really nice pic of a gorgeous 20 something with big boobs and just go with it. I did this a lot.

But one day I got out of the shower, went to lay down (I was tired after all) and forgot about it. Thats when she came home from work and went to go take a poo in the bathroom before I could even think about it.

She was out of that bathroom after about 15 seconds and she drove off. The old man had a long talk with me afterward. But yeah she could have told you what my type was right down to the cup size and favorite pose.

Lucky that she didn't drag you onto Dr Phil. You could be scarred for life

Novella

My parents knew very little about me. We were never all that close. My grandparents were who looked after me when I was a child, and my granny died when I was 12... So I went right off the rails after that.

I would have loved to have been able to talk to my mum. Like Abi said, I always thought my dad was cool but figured my mum was the one I should have been able to talk to things about.

Just be open with your daughter. Try to be understanding and she'll feel that she's able to talk to you. I could never say anything to my mum 'cause my opinions were always wrong, I was being stupid. Remember, she's just a kid, she's just learning. I constantly felt belittled as a teenager. Yeah, I did silly things but sometimes you have to, just to know that they're silly! Another person telling you isn't good enough!

population

I got on reasonably well with my Dad while he was alive though we were in no way best buds. That being said I always feel your life should be seperate to your folks. A parent is supposed to be a parent, not a mate imo

Will

Parents knew me relatively well, was a fairly well behaved/boring kid to be honest. However my friends and their parents, they thought they were heavenly. Little did they know they were drinking from 14, getting into serious fights and just being delinquents. My mother told me recently that back in the day the mother of one of the guys would ring up worried about her son, saying how quiet he was. I just burst out laughing. He was the ring leader and the biggest dirtbag going.

Larianne

My parents blab to everyone so I'm selective in what I tell them. :cool:

vampire of kilmainham

timelessone wrote: »

''hardley'' is spelt ''hardly''.

who gives a sh1t

Richard Dower

Aoifey! wrote: »

My parents thought they knew me, but they didn't.

Same here, and then they look all stunned and say "i didn't know" :rolleyes:
I dropped a fair few bombs on them the last few years....they are still clueless, but then i am a secretive bas*ard

Richard Dower

Larianne wrote: »

My parents blab to everyone so I'm selective in what I tell them. :cool:

Yup, my mother is TERRIBLE for telling everyone my business....she has no problem telling embarrasing stories in front of people :rolleyes: , and she wonders why i never tell her anything? :mad: :rolleyes:

Azureus

Used to tell my dad everything when I was a kid-all the silly stuff like playing under the bridge / first crush etc. He was the one who used to take me on walks down the train tracks for the thrill of hiding in the ditch as the trains passed and hid it from my mam with me. Died whe I was 12 though and that relationship never crossed over to my mam.

Tell my mam most stuff now-although when I was a teenager we had a very rocky few years of just doing our own thing and not knowing eachother at all. Got a lot better when I moved out though and now when we meet up we talk for hours on end about pretty much everything. I think my mam *thinks* she knew everything about me as a teenager but was just too wrapped up in her own thing to notice what was really going on. Dont blame her at all though-we got through it all and our stronger friends now than I think we would have been otherwise.

cynder

Cheers for all your input, didn't think i would get such a big response.

Its good to see it from all sides.