All the single Ladies or non single ladies

Mc Kenzie

OK, ii was wandering does anyone feel the same.....

If your single and out on the town or out for a couple a drinks with your friends. Does it seem abit like your non single freinds are forgetting that you might like to meet someone too??

If your answer is yes then you know what im talking about.

Iv wised up myself now, however when some of my mates got together with boyfreinds, i found my self wandering when id get the girls to hang out or go out on the town again and id be stuck in most weekends.

When i finally did go out with them for birthdays occassions ect, i never really met anyone. and if anyone did approach us the girls would always give shifty eyes , or dance in the oppisite direction.

Hold up!

I realised after i went out with one of my single freinds and had such fun, that going out with non single mates isnt good if your "on the look out":cool::D

its great to catch up with them of coarse for a chat or a drink.

But i soon saw that since they had met there fella, they had forgot about the rest of us.:rolleyes:......


So if any one has some opinions on this id like to here! Thanx

Chinafoot

Personally, when I go out with my friends it is so I can spend time with my friends. Never understood being 'on the lookout' as you put it.

That being said, you could just say it to them, or you could engage with a man you like away from your friends so their night isn't ruined by some bloke trying to get stick into you, and your might isn't ruined because said bloke isn't scared off.

Mc Kenzie

are you single ?

well i spend time with them having dinner chat cinema ect, as they are not places your likely too meet new people.

what you say is all well and good but in my expereince my non single mates would be analysing a guy i chat to and one even frowned when i left the bunch as they want to have...a girly night!

Chinafoot

I'm not single at the moment but even when I was single I certainly never went out with a gang of friends to the pub where my sole intention was to meet a bloke.

Personally I wouldn't ever ditch my mates for some random bloke I met in a pub, by all means have a chat at the bar or in the smoking area and exchange numbers or whatever. I wouldn't leave my mates to it because its pretty rude really. I don't see what the problem is with wanting a girly night.

It sounds like you're not too interested in your friends in a pub situation which seems rude to me. It's like you're just using them so you've someone to go out with in order to meet a randomer.

Whatever floats your boat I guess.

Mc Kenzie

need i say more....

i guess youv never been in that situation then.

And for your imformation, my freinds meen alot to me, and im not using them iv just decided to go out with a group of like minded people. where as my non single m8ts, dont really go out at the weekend any way.

and im not saying im thinking of finding someone all the time of corse i go out just to enjoy myself.

all im saying is that its easier to meet new peope when your out with people with the same interests.

btw everybody is a stranger at first how would we meet anybody new if we all thaught like that.:)

Chinafoot

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

need i say more....

i guess youv never been in that situation then.

Need you say more?

Never been in what situation? Wanting to meet someone? Sure I have, but I don't get pissy at my mates for wanting me to actually have a girls night with them or because they don't want some bloke they don't know encroaching on their night out.

You sound very young OP. Good luck on your search.

Mc Kenzie

Chinafoot wrote: »

Need you say more?

Never been in what situation? Wanting to meet someone? Sure I have, but I don't get pissy at my mates for wanting me to actually have a girls night with them or because they don't want some bloke they don't know encroaching on their night out.

You sound very young OP. Good luck on your search.

all im saying is that from my experience,its harder to meet people with a group of non sigle girls. when your the only single one.and that i prefer to go out with other single girls. and spend seperate time with my other mates like having dinner, wine, or a quiet drink shopping. as they dont go out too much anyway.

thats my experience.:)

Lia_lia

Chinafoot wrote: »

Personally, when I go out with my friends it is so I can spend time with my friends. Never understood being 'on the lookout' as you put it.

Yeah, exactly that.

I also hate the way that if you are single people assume you are always on the lookout for someone. Friends are constantly trying to set me up with people, does my head in. Do people not understand that sometimes you just want to be alone?!

opinion guy

Forgive me barging in here with my maleness......but....OP nights out are a TERRIBLE way to meet people regardless of whether you are a guy or a girl looking out for someone. Even IF you do hook up with someone - inevitably one or the other of you are at least tipsy if not drunk, you can't hear anything anyone is saying in pubs/clubs and you might discover when you meet them in another environment that they are horrible people but you didn't notice because of the noise/alcohol/etc. Nights out are better spent having the craic with friends if you ask me.

If you want to meet people best way to do it is through a hobby - be it martial arts, yoga, salsa dancing, basket weaving...whatever. On the one hand it means you automatically have a common interest and something to talk about, on the other these things are generally less intimidating alcohol free environments where you can take your time to get to know people etc.


Anyhow....just my thought on the subject regardless of gender:)

solerina

I am not single at the moment but I think it depends on the people in question.
I usually go out with 3 female friends, they are single and on the lookout like you OP.
I went out regularly with the before I met my BF and nothing has changed since I met him except that he comes along some of the time.
I always hated friends who used you to go out with until they met their OH then vanished (until they were single again)...I decided not to be one of them.
So altho I am non-single I still behave like a single woman in that fact that I head out and 'help' my friends in their quest !!

Mc Kenzie

thanx for all your replies, its good to here different opinions anyway.

let me just get one thing straight.....I dont off corse go out with desperate intensions to meet someone and i just used"on the look out"hypatheticly.

Im in my early twentys and enjoy being single goin out having fun dancing. but of corse at the back of your mind you do hope you mite meet someone eventually yano. ..i just noticed one or two of my mates dissapeared once they met someone even tho i went out with them when they needed support meeting there guy in the begining.

solerina thats great that you still acompany your mates with ur partner,,,,some people are great like that

pow wow

I kind of agree with the OP Given that most people I know who are coupled up met their OHs on a 'night out' it's not unreasonable to think, when I'm single, that it's a possibility for me. It's not the way you'd want every night out to end, but if you're single and feeling it you're usually a tiny bit aware of the possibilities of most social events you attend - weddings/concerts/nights out etc.

I don't know that going out with loved up friends means that you can't meet someone or it makes it more difficult though, but it does mean your interests when you go out are diverging more than usual

Mc Kenzie

i may sound silly askin but what is OP .........

Princess Peach

Its kinda the opposite with me!

Firstly, don't think I ever went out with the purpose of meeting someone, when it happened it was nice but it was never my intention. I just go out to have a good time and a few drinks and dance.

I did find that a few of my friends who weren't single would try and find guys for me when I was single! They'd ask if I saw anyone I was interested in, think they felt a bit sorry for me!

Most of my friends who have boyfriends don't really go out much. I'm pretty much the same single as I am when I'm with someone, go out just as often regardless. I just go out for the laugh!

micayla

I can never meet anyone when I go out, and not because my mates are all hooked up but pretty much because they're all guys! I think this intimidates other guys who might be interested, or there aren't many guys that are interested:pac:

But OP (Original Poster) I know what you mean. Most nights I head out with the lads I'm not looking, but on occassion it'd be nice to be able to meet someone. Finding like minded people is probably the best idea, girls who won't be annoyed if you ditch them for a bloke and who'll call looking for the gossip the next day:)

Eve_Dublin

opinion guy wrote: »

Forgive me barging in here with my maleness......but....OP nights out are a TERRIBLE way to meet people regardless of whether you are a guy or a girl looking out for someone. Even IF you do hook up with someone - inevitably one or the other of you are at least tipsy if not drunk, you can't hear anything anyone is saying in pubs/clubs and you might discover when you meet them in another environment that they are horrible people but you didn't notice because of the noise/alcohol/etc. Nights out are better spent having the craic with friends if you ask me.

If you want to meet people best way to do it is through a hobby - be it martial arts, yoga, salsa dancing, basket weaving...whatever. On the one hand it means you automatically have a common interest and something to talk about, on the other these things are generally less intimidating alcohol free environments where you can take your time to get to know people etc.


Anyhow....just my thought on the subject regardless of gender:)

I disagree. I've met most of my exes in bars and zero through hobbies. It depends where you go and your type I suppose.

OP I do understand where you're coming from. I've never gone out with the intention of meeting someone but when I was single, I kept a little look out. Nothing wrong with that. Was having a great time with friends but I'd want to meet someone as well and weekend nights were probably the only time I could do that.

I also disliked how my female friends in relationships liked these girly nights in. I like them on occasion but not every time and it was becoming every time. We were like a group of settled auld ones. Now that I'm with someone, I'm very conscious of making the effort to go out if my single friends want to go out. I think you just need to make more single friends, OP.

I do see where you're coming from though.

Mc Kenzie

at last somebody gets it ........an yeah there is a bunch of guys who i go out with and of corse other fellas are intimidated as how can they approach it might be ur bf beside u for all they know.

copacetic

micayla wrote: »

I can never meet anyone when I go out, and not because my mates are all hooked up but pretty much because they're all guys! I think this intimidates other guys who might be interested, or there aren't many guys that are interested:pac:

Prob not intimidated really, but if a girl is out with a group of guys there is a pretty good chance that one of them is her boyfriend. So less likely to approach in that situation, unless there is serious smiling and come hithering going on!

Mc Kenzie

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I disagree. I've met most of my exes in bars and zero through hobbies. It depends where you go and your type I suppose.

OP I do understand where you're coming from. I've never gone out with the intention of meeting someone but when I was single, I kept a little look out. Nothing wrong with that. Was having a great time with friends but I'd want to meet someone as well and weekend nights were probably the only time I could do that.

I also disliked how my female friends in relationships liked these girly nights in. I like them on occasion but not every time and it was becoming every time. We were like a group of settled auld ones. Now that I'm with someone, I'm very conscious of making the effort to go out if my single friends want to go out. I think you just need to make more single friends, OP.


I do see where you're coming from though.

appriciation...thanx

Ickle Magoo

OP = original poster

Please don't use text speak, cheers. Forum charter is here. :cool:

/mod hat

Yes, I had friends like that - the trick is to get a selection of friends at different stages so you have peeps to hit the town with as well as peeps to stay in and whatever else.

I'd have to agree that nights out aren't great for meeting partners - I think I've pretty much met all mine as friends of friends...but still, single nights out with the single girls were great fun - you need to meet some more single girls to hit the town with! :cool:

IrishEyes19

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

OK, ii was wandering does anyone feel the same.....

If your single and out on the town or out for a couple a drinks with your friends. Does it seem abit like your non single freinds are forgetting that you might like to meet someone too??

If your answer is yes then you know what im talking about.

Iv wised up myself now, however when some of my mates got together with boyfreinds, i found my self wandering when id get the girls to hang out or go out on the town again and id be stuck in most weekends.

When i finally did go out with them for birthdays occassions ect, i never really met anyone. and if anyone did approach us the girls would always give shifty eyes , or dance in the oppisite direction.

Hold up!

I realised after i went out with one of my single freinds and had such fun, that going out with non single mates isnt good if your "on the look out":cool::D

its great to catch up with them of coarse for a chat or a drink.

But i soon saw that since they had met there fella, they had forgot about the rest of us.:rolleyes:......


So if any one has some opinions on this id like to here! Thanx

What I definately noticed and what really annoys me is how taken friends disappear once they get with someone. That really annoys me, especially since girls nights out are great and its nice to catch up with your friends regularly, and not have the OH sitting there not even knowing whats going on. I have no time anymore for friends who desert the group and arrive back when the relationship ends. Im single now, but I never did that when I wasnt and either did my best friend. No excuses

Elle Collins

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

What I definately noticed and what really annoys me is how taken friends disappear once they get with someone. That really annoys me, especially since girls nights out are great and its nice to catch up with your friends regularly, and not have the OH sitting there not even knowing whats going on. I have no time anymore for friends who desert the group and arrive back when the relationship ends. Im single now, but I never did that when I wasnt and either did my best friend. No excuses

Can't stand this attitude! Some single people just don't get that when you're in a relationship you're not going to be free to go out boozing 24/7 like you used to be. What's not to understand about that?

Mc Kenzie

we understand alright its just that it seems some people drop ther freinds once they meet someone

Elle Collins

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

we understand alright its just that it seems some people drop ther freinds once they meet someone

Dropping your friends entirely is not on McKenzie, but I've had earfulls of crap from single friends for not being available to them 24/7 because I've got a partner, which really annoys me. It is such an unwelcome attitude and it turns me right off a person as it's something I experience as inappropriately posessive. I wouldn't put up with that from a man and I wouldn't put up with it from a friend either.

Mc Kenzie

Elle Collins wrote: »

Dropping your friends entirely is not on McKenzie, but I've had earfulls of crap from single friends for not being available to them 24/7 because I've got a partner, which really annoys me. It is such an unwelcome attitude and it turns me right off a person as it's something I experience as inappropriately posessive. I wouldn't put up with that from a man and I wouldn't put up with it from a friend either.

well that is annoying too. i know i wouldnt give out to my mates if they didnt go out. its just the way once you meet someone.andif i wasnt sigle i wouldnt be out all the time either.

the only thing im sticking to my guns about is my original point about going out with single girls rather that my coupled mates.

peoples lifes go different directions tho, and true freinds will be there wether single or not

miec

I disagree. I've met most of my exes in bars and zero through hobbies. It depends where you go and your type I suppose.

I would agree, to date I have never met someone through hobbies, most stuff is mainly just women or the men are in relationship / married.

Op I agree that when I used to go out, I don't now as I feel a bit too old for it and I am turned off by the pub scene, but I found that my friends who were attached / married loved the girly nights in, cinema, dinner etc or if I was out and happened to talk with a man they would say what are you talking to him for, or give him the look, then they would scarper.

I had a better chance of flirting / talking with someone when I was out with my single friends as they wanted the same thing.

Acacia

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

But i soon saw that since they had met there fella, they had forgot about the rest of us.:rolleyes:......

But in fairness it's not your non-single friends' responsibility to facilitate the single girls meeting fellas.

As for dancing away from guys on the dancefloor etc, maybe your coupled-up friends want to enjoy an evening out with just the girls, without the hassle of entertaining random men all night who the single girls may or may not be interested in?

Speaking from experience, as a non-single, it gets a bit exasperating being the wingman for my single friends sometimes. I mean, when I go for a night out with my friends it's because I want to have the craic with them. It's not so they can spend half the night ignoring me so they can chat up fellas and then I can hold their coat for them while they snog some randomer in the chipper on the way home... Obviously, we're going to meet and talk with guys on a night out, but it's a bit annoying when the whole evening becomes about meeting fellas when you just wanted to have a night out with the girls.

don't mean to come across as harsh but that's just my opinion on it, from the other side of the fence.

Mc Kenzie

Acacia wrote: »

But in fairness it's not your non-single friends' responsibility to facilitate the single girls meeting fellas.

As for dancing away from guys on the dancefloor etc, maybe your coupled-up friends want to enjoy an evening out with just the girls, without the hassle of entertaining random men all night who the single girls may or may not be interested in?

Speaking from experience, as a non-single, it gets a bit exasperating being the wingman for my single friends sometimes. I mean, when I go for a night out with my friends it's because I want to have the craic with them. It's not so they can spend half the night ignoring me so they can chat up fellas and then I can hold their coat for them while they snog some randomer in the chipper on the way home... Obviously, we're going to meet and talk with guys on a night out, but it's a bit annoying when the whole evening becomes about meeting fellas when you just wanted to have a night out with the girls.

don't mean to come across as harsh but that's just my opinion on it, from the other side of the fence.

Thats fair enough.

I dont go out with my coupled freinds so much now we have meet ups and nights in cinema ect.

the only thing that did bother me is that when we were all single i was the one who was begged to go with them to meet such an such,and as you say hold there coat when they snoged some bloke,. i was there for them at that time.
and i just felt they forgot to care wether id meet someone or not.

But i get what your saying and i go out aswell to have fun and a dance. iv neveer actually gone out for the sole purpose to meet someone.

opinion guy

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

I disagree. I've met most of my exes in bars and zero through hobbies. It depends where you go and your type I suppose.

I've highlighted the critical word in that sentence. You are kind of backing up my point to be honest

Eve_Dublin

opinion guy wrote: »

I've highlighted the critical word in that sentence. You are kind of backing up my point to be honest

A vast majority of relationships fall apart though and mine lasted a respectable amount of years by modern standards. I met my currrent fella in a bar as well (but was introduced by mutual friend). All you can do is hope this one won't end like the rest. They're not any more likely to last if you meet them in a knitting class, in fairness. As I said, it depends on the bar, your type and how baloobas you are. Many people have met in a bar and lasted the long haul. So you're saying your taken and met the love of your life in a Spanish class and you're sure you'll be together for all eternity? How can any relationship be guaranteed regardless of where they began?

boomkatalog

I'm not single, and I've found myself in the opposite situation. I have a couple of friends I'd go on nights out with who still like to steal a kiss in a dark corner of the dance floor, and given that I rarely go out with big groups, it can be such a pain to be thought of as "the one with the boyfriend" who you can't have the craic with because she'll be left alone when everyone's off on the pull :rolleyes: Usually there'll be at least three of us so if someone does meet a guy, noone will be left standing around alone.

I'm fairly certain there've been one or two nights out where I wasn't asked to attend because nobody wanted to stay and hang out with me instead of go "looking for the shift" :rolleyes:

Mc Kenzie

I'm fairly certain there've been one or two nights out where I wasn't asked to attend because nobody wanted to stay and hang out with me instead of go "looking for the shift" :rolleyes:[/QUOTE]


"the shift"....:D..

ah yea that must be irritating too. do want to swap???

Nightwish

I've found that my non-single friends are always trying to get me "the shift" for pity, as I am terminally single! I wont complain though, as I have met some nice people

Nesie

I think OP has been misinterpreted. The issue is girls whose behaviour changes once they get a bf. where in the past they would have encouraged you to chat to fellas are now like she said dancing away when one comes anywhere near you.

it defo happens and is kinda hypocritical...

Acacia

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

Thats fair enough.

I dont go out with my coupled freinds so much now we have meet ups and nights in cinema ect.

the only thing that did bother me is that when we were all single i was the one who was begged to go with them to meet such an such,and as you say hold there coat when they snoged some bloke,. i was there for them at that time.
and i just felt they forgot to care wether id meet someone or not.

But i get what your saying and i go out aswell to have fun and a dance. iv neveer actually gone out for the sole purpose to meet someone.

That's also fair enough. I understand where you're coming from, it isn't very nice to be the wingman for your friends, yet they don't return the favour.

I s'pose what I'd be more referring to is when I've encountered what Elle Collins desrcibed above... getting a hard time from friends for not going out with them enough and being too 'involved' with my other half:rolleyes:... only to be completely ignored on nights out when they go off trying to score some fella. But I get that that's not what you're referring to.

I guess it just comes down having to be fluid when it comes to friends and try and find ones who'll be accomodating to your needs, whether single or in a relationship.

IrishEyes19

Acacia wrote: »

That's also fair enough. I understand where you're coming from, it isn't very nice to be the wingman for your friends, yet they don't return the favour.

I s'pose what I'd be more referring to is when I've encountered what Elle Collins desrcibed above... getting a hard time from friends for not going out with them enough and being too 'involved' with my other half:rolleyes:... only to be completely ignored on nights out when they go off trying to score some fella. But I get that that's not what you're referring to.

I guess it just comes down having to be fluid when it comes to friends and try and find ones who'll be accomodating to your needs, whether single or in a relationship.

Maybe, but perhaps they ignore, because the other friend hasnt made an effort to come out over the past anyway, so why should they give up a chance to meet someone.

I agree with what your saying that you should find friends who you click with in that respect, but friends arent there to "accommodate your needs," its not a business or a service. And I have no respect for friends who get into a relationship and you only see them when the relationship is rocky or else they need a favour. Not saying this is you, by the way, lol, Im just reffering to it. Ive seen too many friends who make their other half their life and when the relationship ends, they dont have many friends left. Its completely unhealthy to make one person your whole life and boring in my opinion. Ive been in relationships where Ive balanced the both, friendships and boyfriend and boy was I glad to have my best friends too.

southsiderosie

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

So you're saying your taken and met the love of your life in a Spanish class and you're sure you'll be together for all eternity? How can any relationship be guaranteed regardless of where they began?

Haha, I've gotten quite a few dates out of Spanish-English intercambios...

The problem with the 'take a class' approach is that EVERYBODY says that, and these classes end up being like 90% female. The only activities I've ever met guys in were language exchanges and sports rec leagues; two out of the last three people I've dated, I met in a bar.

Acacia

IrishEyes19 wrote: »

Maybe, but perhaps they ignore, because the other friend hasnt made an effort to come out over the past anyway, so why should they give up a chance to meet someone.

I agree with what your saying that you should find friends who you click with in that respect, but friends arent there to "accommodate your needs," its not a business or a service. And I have no respect for friends who get into a relationship and you only see them when the relationship is rocky or else they need a favour. Not saying this is you, by the way, lol, Im just reffering to it. Ive seen too many friends who make their other half their life and when the relationship ends, they dont have many friends left. Its completely unhealthy to make one person your whole life and boring in my opinion. Ive been in relationships where Ive balanced the both, friendships and boyfriend and boy was I glad to have my best friends too.

Valid points.On the first point- What's the point of inviting somebody to go out with you, then ignore them or not really bother with them? I've had this happen to me and it's not nice, especially if you're trying to make an effort with friends you feel you have upset. I completely understand my single friends wanting to meet someone and would not stand in their way. However, it does smack a little of hypocrisy to be told that I'm devoting to much time to a guy and that I should be coming out more... only to find that when I do go out ( having been told it's a ''girls' night'' and about quality time with said friends), that I'm ignored in favour a guy they want to hook up with. I don't see how them ignoring me is any less bad than me spending time with my boyfriend instead of always going out with them on nights out. I s'pose I'm coming at this from a very personal angle as I've been having trouble with my friends in relation to this lately. On the second point- relationships can interfere with the time you have with your friends. It's just the way life goes. I'm not saying friends should be ditched completely- but they should also understand that those in relationships have other commitments as well, and it doesn't make them bad friends. I've found that all too often the "dumping your friends'' line is used by people so they can continue to have their friends as wingmen on nights out... talk about using your friends as a service to accomodate your needs! :)There are people who completely disappear when a guy/girl appears. However, just because you choose not to spend every Friday/Saturday in clubs/pubs with your mates it doesn't mean you're now making your other half the centre of your world. It's just easier to label somebody as doing that so you can guilt them into coming out, chase men all night with your friends as wingmen and then still be the 'good guy'. BUT I'm not saying that's what you or the OP is doing at all though, just the experience I've had lately.

IrishEyes19

Acacia wrote: »

Valid points.On the first point- What's the point of inviting somebody to go out with you, then ignore them or not really bother with them? I've had this happen to me and it's not nice, especially if you're trying to make an effort with friends you feel you have upset. I completely understand my single friends wanting to meet someone and would not stand in their way. However, it does smack a little of hypocrisy to be told that I'm devoting to much time to a guy and that I should be coming out more... only to find that when I do go out ( having been told it's a ''girls' night'' and about quality time with said friends), that I'm ignored in favour a guy they want to hook up with. I don't see how them ignoring me is any less bad than me spending time with my boyfriend instead of always going out with them on nights out. I s'pose I'm coming at this from a very personal angle as I've been having trouble with my friends in relation to this lately. On the second point- relationships can interfere with the time you have with your friends. It's just the way life goes. I'm not saying friends should be ditched completely- but they should also understand that those in relationships have other commitments as well, and it doesn't make them bad friends. I've found that all too often the "dumping your friends'' line is used by people so they can continue to have their friends as wingmen on nights out... talk about using your friends as a service to accomodate your needs! :)There are people who completely disappear when a guy/girl appears. However, just because you choose not to spend every Friday/Saturday in clubs/pubs with your mates it doesn't mean you're now making your other half the centre of your world. It's just easier to label somebody as doing that so you can guilt them into coming out, chase men all night with your friends as wingmen and then still be the 'good guy'. BUT I'm not saying that's what you or the OP is doing at all though, just the experience I've had lately.

well if its always the case of only being used as a wingman, than thats an issue with your friends beforehand. Well I never mentioned saturday nights at all, there are things such as meeting up for coffee, walks, ect which I always do with my best friend. Again when Ive been single or in a relationship, that has never changed. And to be honest, havent been on the side either when in a relationship that my friends use me as a wingman/woman, I just put my phone away, go out and have a good night and if my friend meets someone, fair enough, Id chat away to someone else, be it male or female and chatting is all it would be were it male. Certainly dont sit texting away or watching the clock as Ive seen some friends.

But Ive never guilted a friend to come out either, but as I said just there, its the issue that must have been therefore, as there shouldnt be guilt within a friendship anyway and I would never leave my best friend hanging over a guy. Id expect my boyfriend to understand that, just as much as Id expect my best friend to understand Id never devalue the relationship I was in, because she may still be single at the time.

Eve_Dublin

southsiderosie wrote: »

Haha, I've gotten quite a few dates out of Spanish-English intercambios...

The problem with the 'take a class' approach is that EVERYBODY says that, and these classes end up being like 90% female. The only activities I've ever met guys in were language exchanges and sports rec leagues; two out of the last three people I've dated, I met in a bar.

I've met a fair few nutjobs on intercambios and give them a wide berth.

Actually, I've recently started a Spanish class here in Spain to keep me motivated and there's a lovely guy from Serbia who I got talking to and get the Metro home with...I'm not single though but if I was....always the way eh?

Ruby-J

OP i agree with you on the going out with friends and if a guy comes over to chat to us three out of the four of us will kinda brush them off. I am in my late twenties and in the group of us, one of us is married, one is in soon to be married and the other is in a long term relationship. My long term relationship ended just over 2 years ago and i suppose now im kinda sick of the single thing and ready to get serious about someone again for the long term. Finding him is the problem though. Like you when im out on a night out with the girls we have the craic and we have great laughs and chats and also a dance or two on the dancefloor however its not what it used to be as in welcome the male attention etc. Ive tried the internet dating and yes its ok but i guess its just a needle in a haystack kinda thing. YOu have to go on loads of dates before you find someone you can remotely click with as people are so different sometimes in person then to what you have perceived them as online.

Hmm, i am just going to have to stop trying and let this whole romantic notion of finding "the one" take its course.

LegacyUser

I think some girls lose the run of themselves when they find the "one" and can lose sight of their friends. I remember a friend telling me about her colleague falling out with another. They were really good friends and used to have nights out together and then one of them met a guy. Then she wanted to double date with girls who she wasnt that friendly with and left her friend out in the cold and couldnt understand why they fell out. My friend who isnt single was like sure she would have felt arkward and a spare wheel going out with couples. I couldnt believe what she had just said. As someone who has been single for the last year, I have been hurt by some friends behaviour since I have been single. Two friends who met through me started to leave me out of stuff. I remember one example was when one of them said she was going home, she let me believe for the weekend. On the Saturday night in the pub I got a text from another friend saying she had just meet them out in their couples. Low and behold 5 mins later I get a text say come and meet. Only texted cause she had meet another friend in a place I never go to and knew I would think what the f***. I was really upset. Had a huge falling out with one of them in particular as I thought we were really good friends. But as a firm believer in karma, what goes around comes around, there is a cooling between them now! Think its important to treat people the way you want to be treated and it doesnt cost anything to me nice!

nessy382

hi im not single and i remember i was with my fella only 3 months (no excuse at all) and went out with my mate to a christening and ended up with her brother that night. it was the sorriest thing i ever did. i had never been with anyone else before my bf and i do not know how that happened. i would never do anything like that on him again i love him to much. he doesn't deserve it and means the world to me. i am now with him 2 and half years nearly 3. after that happened i was and still am afraid of going out with my mates (non single an single) on a night out again! my fella trusts me and knows i would not do anything like that on him again and i wouldn't. he actually asks me to go out with my friends so i know he knows i wouldn't do that again. there's noway would i!

Mc Kenzie

nessy im not sure if youv gone away from my point of topic, but hey give yourselfa break go out with your mates.

Anyway, its been a good few weeks ..possibly months:rolleyes:...since i posted this...aaand:rolleyes: Two of my mates have became single, so strange as all a them have all been in relationships for years. But isnt it funny how i had already planned to move to u.k as they became single. but one turns to me and says..pity your not sticking around and we coulda gone out 2gether as sigle girls. :rolleyes:.. afew years ago i woulda wished that happened, ..Now" sorry hun, Iv had my fare share of single life around these woods, ..time to move on,
and i was glad as hell i wouldnt again be the one holding your coat while you drunkenly snog some bloke, in the chippy at 2.00 am.!

nessy382

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

nessy im not sure if youv gone away from my point of topic, but hey give yourselfa break go out with your mates.

Anyway, its been a good few weeks ..possibly months:rolleyes:...since i posted this...aaand:rolleyes: Two of my mates have became single, so strange as all a them have all been in relationships for years. But isnt it funny how i had already planned to move to u.k as they became single. but one turns to me and says..pity your not sticking around and we coulda gone out 2gether as sigle girls. :rolleyes:.. afew years ago i woulda wished that happened, ..Now" sorry hun, Iv had my fare share of single life around these woods, ..time to move on,
and i was glad as hell i wouldnt again be the one holding your coat while you drunkenly snog some bloke, in the chippy at 2.00 am.!

hi sorry iv gone away from point of topic i taught thats' what you were asking sorry lol..