Life's hard decisions*

kingelmo

:)Ladies,

not sure if this is in the rite area but sher here we go!!

Im 20 yrs old finished my leaving cert at 17, completed 2years of college graduated in may last year in Business Admin..

I have been working in this field with the past year, nothing permanet just covering mat leave.. but im not 100% sure its what i want to do..

I always envyed everyone who knew 'what they wanted to be when the grow up'.. I never could never understand how they always knew!!

im coming to the end of my mat leave stent and i really dont know where to go from here!!

There is nothing out ther that im seriously passionate of doing..

I REALLY dont want to go back to college, its a case of 'been there, done that'..

Any suggestions??

Or really my question is, did ye always know what ye wanted to do in life??

Acoshla

In short, Hell no I didn't. I fumbled along through school, hadn't a clue what I wanted to do, all I knew by 6th year was that I didn't want to do a standard college course with essays and a thesis and lectures, I knew I wouldn't last in it because even though I love English and writing I am hopeless in strict education situations, where you have certain things to do. So I decided Art was the way forward, I did a PLC Art & Craft Course, was top of my class because I thrived on the freedom and creativity we had. I did really well at Photography so applied for that among other things, got accepted to a photography course but at the last minute decided I didn't want to narrow myself down so much straight away. So I chose a Fine Art Course, where I did really well at Textile Art, I decided to specialise in that in 2nd year....had dropped out of college by March after a massive row with my tutors and applied for an Interior Design Course. I did first year of that course (well it was a one year PLC course where you could then go onto a degree course), my tutors said they couldn't wait to see how I did in 2nd and 3rd year as I showed such promise....I didn't come back for 2nd year

I got a job, started down the slippery slope of retail which I now hate, was terrified I'd end up stuck doing a 40 hour rostered week full of late nights and Sunday work. I did a bit of freelance Interior Design, worked for a magazine, random things, then I upped and moved abroad where I worked as a deli assistant and a vet's assistant among a ton of other jobs. Came home after a year, considered going back to magazine work, maybe train to be a Vet Nurse, but I knew I wouldn't stick out a college course, took a few more crappy retail jobs before fecking it all away to start my own business.

That's the last 10 years of my life in a few paragraphs, I have never known what's going to happen from one year to the next and I liked it like that. I never stuck out a job for more than a year (which I don't recommend!), I have no degree, which people gasped at for years, but now I'm doing well and one of the few I know with actual work, degrees don't hold half as much weight as they did a few years ago, experience is what counts now when people are looking for reliable workers. I finally found something that holds my interest so I'm happy to work loads, was hardly ever like this before.

Take it as it comes, apply for jobs that take your fancy, or a one year PLC course might be good, they really helped me out, I prefer them so much to "proper" college if you know what I mean. But in the meantime take whatever work you can get, it all adds up as experience in the future. Just enjoy it and don't stress about it

WesternNight

No, I didn't know what I wanted to do until relatively recently. And it's entirely possible I'll change my mind several times in the future. That's not a bad thing, really.

If the only reason you don't want to go back to college is that you've already been in college, I'd recommend reconsidering. Don't just back for the sake of it either, but have a look through various prospectuses for various colleges and universities and see if there's anything that appeals to you on paper and then work from there.

I did my Leaving in 2004, deferred a college place for various reasons and ended up not going to college until 2009. I was 24 and honestly, best decision I ever made. The fact that I'm that bit older means I actually appreciate the whole thing and am more engaged with the process than I would have been at 19. I'm heading into final year Arts in September (pending exam results..) and since 1st year I've changed my mind completely about what subjects I wanted to pursue.

If you really don't have any idea what you want to do professionally, think about what you're interested in in general, what your hobbies are, and see if there's anything you could do to incorporate them into a job or career.

Mawbish

I hadn't a clue what I wanted to do when I sat my leaving cert.
I'm 31 and still don't have a clue!

I fell into computers after school and worked in admin for 10 years the work was OK it wasn't my passion far from it but it was a steady paycheck which I loved and my reasoning was work is work and play is play.

Now I think differently - if you are passionate about something go for it! Writing, art, music whatever floats your boat - life is too short to be stuck in a job that you hate!

If I were in your shoes I'd go to Australia or NZ or Canada or USA and try a number of different part time jobs till you find something that really excites you then you can pursue further study in that area and really make a career out of it.

Best of luck

And remember there's no such thing as 'wrong' choice - life is all about learning and experiencing different things - enjoy the journey

Giselle

OP, try not to rule out further time in education. If something really grabs your interest in the future or you find something that really sparks your enthusiam, persue it, even if it means a couple more years of study. Your whole lifes happiness is greatly affected by doing work you enjoy, a small time sacrifice is worth it in the long run.

Best of luck.:)

Oh, and no, I'd only a vague idea of what I wanted to do and no idea how to go about it. I'm 25 and still in uni and working towards it, because I know it'll be something I never grow bored of and will always be interested in. Its going to be totally worth it in the end.:)

baby and crumble

I had a rough idea what I wanted to do, I entered college to do geography to become a teacher. I ended up preferring my minor subject (philosophy) and fell in love with the job I had in the holidays, which was working with people with disabilities. I have since done a h.dip on social policy to get me into a masters course. I am a qualified social worker, but stayed in college to do a PhD. I love what I'm doing, but kind of stumbled into everything through random chance.

I needed summer job, so did care work. Wanted to make more of an impact, so did social work. At the end of that, there was a PhD scholarship on offer, so took it. Long story short, if you'd told me at 20 I'd be a qualified social worker and nearly Dr. Zoegh at 30, I'd have laughed at you!

krudler

I still dont,and I turn 30 in a few months :pac:

ztoical

I knew I wanted to be an animator from the age of 12...it did not make anything any easier trust me, it just replaces those hard questions with other hard questions - where is best to study, what area of animation computer, hand drawn, stop motion....focus on characters, layouts, fx, concept, production, tv, feature film, video games etc etc. There is no career where you say I'm going to be blah and that's it all sorted. Even very basic things like 'I want to be a doctor'....well what type of doctor?

The majority of people I went to school with didn't know what they wanted to study or if they even wanted to go to college and most choices were made with a combination of family and school pressure, the last years points and location and most ended up either dropping out [one girl dropped out of Trinty to go live up a tree....she's now living in Thailand looking after Elephants] or finished degrees and ended up working in totally different fields.

I would never be been there done that with regard education....I've done two degrees in animation and illustration respectively, alot of people would consided them related fields but they are worlds apart and I didn't find the second degree to be like the first at all. I've also done alot of short courses and evening classes so don't look at it like I've got to go repeat 2/4 years again...it will be totally different.

Don't be afraid to think outside of your field and suit your skills to something you didn't think they'd match. Friend did interior design and has been working now for awhile designing levels for videos games. Another friend studied politics and has spent the past 5 years working as a first assistant camera on feature films [major films like Doubt and the up coming 21 jump street feature] My own father spent most of his life working in the civil service having done a degree in history and wasn't happy and at 45 left to go work with the UN overseas doing aid work so my view is always it's never to late and there are no rules.

kingelmo

thanks so much for all the advice..

**Acoshla and Mawbish ye sound so like me its not even funny!! love the advice!!:D**

I have been covering mat leave in two different locations and different type businesses over the past year!! I really enjoyed my last job but i didnt love it!!!

The job im in at the mo is an "oh my god shoot me now" job.. :P

from 8.30am im physically glued to the chair and cant move all day long!! i know its only mat leave and nothing permanent but talk about banging your head off a brick wall!! Calls range everyday on about 300 calls!!( you get sooooooo sick of it) cant even go to the toilet with out someone covering me!!

Thinks thats why it has made me so allergic to this type of work!! Im not a person you can tell to stay in one place for any lenght of time..

From being in this office work i can honestly say im sick of it and i need something more challenging.. at the min the only reason im staying is the money is ok and i need to pay off for my car!!

As for incorporating a hobbie into a career i dont think its possible.. The normal activities ie walking, horses and music, i like them but its not a longing passion that id make a career out of!!

I think iv changed my mind about jobs so many times that i think iv actually gone full circle and im starting back at the start again!!

At the moment i think im kind of on the medical side.. ie had my heart set on an EMT course but the cost was way to high..

Now considering doing a PLC 1 year course in Pre nursing??

Has anyone done it?? where can i go from there after that course!!?

thanks everyone xx

willow tree

wow, you really sound like you ve your head screwed on for a 20 yr old and i dont mean to sound .. whatever, just most 20yr olds i know (and i was!) are clueless and being clueless at 20 perfectly normal and good! travellings a great thing to do in your 20s but really self discovery is what your 20s is all about.. get to know yourself a bit better and if you want to do that emt course, definitely find a way of doing it and talk to people who have done it or if there was related voluntary work you could do.. it will all work out for you, ive no doubt:D

Dudess

If you want to do nursing, go for it - you're very young yet! And what about working in care homes etc? As far as I know, there are always jobs in that area. Just research it as it can be tough, but plenty of people love it. Don't forget too there are quite a few types of nursing. And I'm 33 and have weaved in and out of all kinds of stuff over the years - only really finding my career feet now. And it was grand...

squeakyduck

I'm 23, 24 in January I do not have a clue what I want to be. I've worked in some different industries (food, sales and betting) and got some great experience, the next thing I want to try my hand at is teaching in Korea, I like to try different things, and hey teaching could always be my fall back job if things ever go arseways on me when I'm older!

I wanted to be a million and one things when I was younger. My ideal job would be 9-5 mon to fri with lots of money but hey who doesn't want that?!

My advice is to take your time. You might not find what you really love for ages yet. Do something that makes you happy and you enjoy or else it's not worth it! The only person who will benefit that choice is you!

willow tree

great tips here.. but this is what its all about..


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I5NAPZp2w-o

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=

Giselle

bluewolf wrote: »

I need something more mathsy to keep me going.

Bluewolf, that is the most fabulously nerdy comment.:D

almostnever

Picking what I wanted to do with my life was quite difficult. At school I was a bit of an all-rounder, I did well at science subjects and maths, as well as languages and humanities (such as history and English) and the business subjects. I always felt quite a bit of pressure in school to do medicine and go on to be a doctor, and went through phases of wanting to study practically every type of course on offer. Up until fifth year I was dead set on becoming either a writer or an astrophysicist, and in sixth year I decided English and Irish were for me, or maybe psychology, or maybe even medicine...before deciding to do a general science degree instead, because I loved chemistry and physics and thought it'd be good to get a grounding in several areas before choosing which to specialise in. I did the Leaving Cert and got offered a place in the Science course in Trinity, but I turned it down because over the Summer I realised I wanted to do Law. And I threw caution to the wind and repeated the LC so I could do that.

I think to a lot of people it seemed like a sudden decision and nobody seemed to be able to understand why I wasn't going to do the science degree, as it suited me and my interests so well. But the thing was, while every other idea came into my mind and was later replaced by another, I just couldn't shake the idea of doing law. I didn't know a whole lot about it and it was going to be a risk but the more I thought about it, the more I realised it was what I had always wanted. Dunno if that even makes sense but it does in my head. And I've just finished the first year of my law degree which was, without a doubt, the best year of my life, and I know I'm doing what is right for me and what, deep down at least, I've always wanted. That's a really amazing feeling and one I know I'm lucky to have. Repeating the Leaving Cert SUCKED and I wanted to dropout and leave about a million times but I pushed through and it gave me so much perspective, taught me a lot and got me to where I am now. Hopefully in five or six year's time I'll be a practicing barrister and that would be a dream come true.

almostnever

You say you don't like sitting at a desk all day, so if you can figure out something which is more active as a career that you think you would enjoy that could be perfect. A very close friend of mine missed out on the points for nursing after the repeat year and recently finished a one year pre-nursing plc which allowed her to secure a place in an English university next year as a nursing student. She could have gone on to be a nursing student in Ireland too, but England has always been her dream. There are so many options available to you and the best thing to do is to take your time and try to figure out what you want, and when you have that figured out, devise a way to get it. Don't go back to education just for the sake of it, but try not to close your mind to the possibility, because it really could be a wonderful opportunity for you. Best of luck!


ETA: really messed up that post..:o

Novella

Funny thing is, I have known for a very long time what I've wanted to do. I won't say always, but definitely since I was quite young. I took a keen interest in hospitals. If someone mentioned they were sick, I wanted to know what was wrong. My granny had a bad accident and was left with a wound on her leg that never healed - I liked to watch when the nurse came to change her dressing. I figured I would be a doctor when I was older. There was never anything else I could see myself as.

I said it's funny 'cause I'm 22 now and I'm only gonna be taking the first steps this September towards being a doctor even though I completed the Leaving Cert 5 years ago. See, I've taken a lot of time out due to personal illness. After my Leaving Cert though, I went on to study Psychology. Then I dropped out and studied Photography. I sold myself short so often, telling myself I wasn't bright enough, didn't have the determination etc. Of course I wasn't determined! I never dreamed about anything else the way I dream about being a doctor.

To be honest, I only realised it mattered to me after therapy. Sometimes you do just need to talk things through. I do recommend career guidance counselling, but even more than that, what I recommend is not becoming caught up in not knowing. It is okay to not know. Maybe you'll never know. Do what makes you happy in the here and now.

Eve_Dublin

Hi OP. Same as other posters here.....31 and still trying to figure out what I want to do. Changed from a Marketing course ( I cringe when I think of my choice) after 2 years to doing a PLC for 4 years in Communications and Media Production. I did three years in Ireland and then you have to go to the UK to do your final year. It's a great option for those of us who got a little distracted during the LC and don't have the points to do these kinds of courses in university (I think the course was over 500 points in DCU back in my day). I'd a great time and met some unbelievably fantastic people and the year in university in England was one of the best years of my life and I got a decent degree out of it in the end. This could be a good option for you if you want to do nursing, OP (as another poster said).

Then I met someone, moved to Scotland with him :to get a job in the media" (bless my innocence)...easier said then done, so moved to London a few months later and stayed there for 2 years. Decided I wanted to be a librarian so I worked for a year and a half as a trainee librarian (which you're required to do to get onto the Masters in UCD). Applied for course, got accepted, moved home to do course, changed mind at last minute, went travelling in South America for a year with money I had saved, came home to a crisis and moved to Spain in September 2009 and now I teach English in companies and I love it. Thinking about doing a Masters to become a qualified English language teacher in the next year or two but not sure. I'm not worried. I'll fall into something I like eveentually and so will you, OP.

I remember having the very same worries around your age and thought I'd never find my feet until I realised not that many people do in their 20s. Take it easy, you'll be grand and don't be afraid to give anything that takes your fancy a go and really enjoy yourself!

By the way, I've had 40 full and part time jobs on the way. You name it, I might have done it. The stories I could tell you would melt your face...and I love that about my life.

boomkatalog

I know exactly what I want to be, a primary school teacher. But I didn't study for the LC and ended up ten points short, now there's so many teachers out of work and even if I do get the postgrad, which is really hard to get given the popularity and they high level of Irish expected, chances are I won't get a job anyway. So I know what my dream is, but probably have to pick a new one

shinny

As Mary Schmich said:

"Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't"

EverEvolving

This thread has cheered me right up, thank you ladies

I'm 30 and still don't know what I want to do, and I never have. My previous jobs have ranged from waitressing, to making coleslaw, to administration to middle management and plenty of others in between and tbh I've been happy doing pretty much all of them. Nothing stands out as something I prefer to do as I'm quite laid back and just get on with it.

I'm unemployed at the moment for the first time ever and my motivation is depleting every passing second so it's hard to see past 'just getting a bleedin' job' at the minute. I'm even getting frustrated thinking about it because I feel that at this stage of my life I should have some direction.

I've completed a higher cert in business and feel going back to college would be only going through the motions as I'm not interested in it and you learn more in 6 months on the job than in any lecture theater (in my experience anyway for general business related professions).

Hopefully some day soon it will dawn on me and I will figure what I want to be when I grow up!

kingelmo

everyone thank you so much for the replys!!

Thank god im not the only one in this position.. All of ye seem to be very happy with the outcome even though ye dont know what to do at the start.

Iv have 1 sister and 2 brothers with very good and high paying jobs and my mother keeps putting pressure on me to follow in there footsteps!!

ha joke is on her!! there is 8 years between me and my closest brother.. them 8 years counted for alot.. they all got the sucessful cells

Thank you so much xx

kingelmo

Novella wrote: »

Funny thing is, I have known for a very long time what I've wanted to do. I won't say always, but definitely since I was quite young. I took a keen interest in hospitals. If someone mentioned they were sick, I wanted to know what was wrong. My granny had a bad accident and was left with a wound on her leg that never healed - I liked to watch when the nurse came to change her dressing. I figured I would be a doctor when I was older. There was never anything else I could see myself as.

I said it's funny 'cause I'm 22 now and I'm only gonna be taking the first steps this September towards being a doctor even though I completed the Leaving Cert 5 years ago. See, I've taken a lot of time out due to personal illness. After my Leaving Cert though, I went on to study Psychology. Then I dropped out and studied Photography. I sold myself short so often, telling myself I wasn't bright enough, didn't have the determination etc. Of course I wasn't determined! I never dreamed about anything else the way I dream about being a doctor.

To be honest, I only realised it mattered to me after therapy. Sometimes you do just need to talk things through. I do recommend career guidance counselling, but even more than that, what I recommend is not becoming caught up in not knowing. It is okay to not know. Maybe you'll never know. Do what makes you happy in the here and now.

i am also the same.. when my nan was in hospital for months no one knew what was wrong with her. sent her to different hosps up and down the country for nothing and i was just mad no what was going on... I was there with her holding her hand while i was quizzing the doctors and nurses, trying to get to the bottom of it, traveled to dublin and back to cork just to be with her.I guess you could say i always had some interest in that.. I was there till the bitter end with her till unfortunatly she died of cancer of the stomach just a few years ago(after firstly being diagnosed with kidney trouble -which she never had)... Any sniffle or ache with my family and im quizzing them and straight on the internet as to what it could be..

So maybe this is the line i should be going down?!