Saucy Weekend = Airport Security

Miss Fluff

As the title says, am going on a naughty weekend soon but am only bringing hand relief luggage, what will and won't be allowed through by the kindly folk at airport security?

For Forks Sake

This is going to be carnage.

TheInquisitor

Lol CHECK YOUR BAGGAGE!

Trigger13222

Need someone to join ye

Celly Smunt

too easy.

Gunsfortoys

They think you might blow something...




















































up.

kippy

AH - not the place to start a topic such as this.

El Guapo!

Take pics of exactly what your bringing and explain in filthy detail what you plan to do with them and we'll say whether it will be allowed or not......

Celly Smunt

Gunsfortoys wrote: »

They think you might blow something...


up.

is it a new zealand bus driver?

medicsie

Yerrrrrrrrrrrr.

Flojo

Be careful about the amount of lube you plan on bringing as I don't think you're aloud over 150ml of liquid in hand luggage. But aslong as your not into knives and shizz everything else would be grand.

Gunsfortoys

pmcmahon wrote: »

is it a new zealand bus driver?

If that's how you get your kicks.

DeVore

Oh


My



God.



*puts thread on follow just to keep an eye on it* lol...

DeV.

check it in...

Miss Fluff

DeVore wrote: »

Oh


My



God.



*puts thread on follow just to keep an eye on it* lol...

DeV.

I was going to put it in Travel Dev but I thought I might get more real-time examples here, ta

Kevin Duffy

I generally manage to get a veiny 10 incher through with no trouble.

Celly Smunt

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

I generally manage to get a veiny 10 incher through with no trouble.

i don't think they have a problem with feet tbh.

Kevin Duffy

pmcmahon wrote: »

i don't think they have a problem with feet tbh.

I said inches, not feet....

El Guapo!

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

I generally manage to get a veiny 10 incher through with no trouble.

Deep vein thrombosis?

Lone Stone

Sure you could get a strap on through no problem

Zombienosh

somebody get those god damned snakes off the god damned plane

Kevin Duffy

Dean09 wrote: »

Deep vein thrombosis?

Not at all, good healthy veins, like the refills from bic biros.

Celly Smunt

Zombienosh wrote: »

somebody get those god damned snakes off the god damned plane

"YO, IM SICK OF THESE MOTHER****ING SNAKES ON THIS MOTHER****ING PLANE"

TheZohanS

Miss Fluff wrote: »

As the title says, am going on a naughty weekend soon but am only bringing hand relief luggage, what will and won't be allowed through by the kindly folk at airport security?

It would be easier for you to tell us what you have and we can give you a straight up "yes or no" as to whether it's allowed or not.

Gunsfortoys

TheZohan wrote: »

It would be easier for you to tell us what you have and we can give you a straight up "yes or no" as to whether it's allowed or not.

Pics of her applying it will probably do for the slower boards poster.

maxwell smart

If it doesn't have any batteries then just stick it somewhere safe where airport security don't (normally) look. That way it doesn't have to go in as hand luggage, only through the metal detector

prinz

Plastic handcuffs (with the pink fur in A.S.'s) are easier to get through than metal ones.:o Not that I'd know

Gran Hermano

Just fly Aer Lingus and pick up a copy of the Cara magazine on the flight.

phasers

if it starts vibrating in your bag they call the bomb disposal unit. Take out the batteries!

Ben D Bus

Bondage kit could be confiscated (seriously - I know ). Handcuffs etc could be used to subdue the crew in a hijack situation.

And whatever you do, don't turn up at security in your gimp gear :eek: I won't be doing that again in a hurry.

Jesus Wept

If anyone asks, it's a back massager obviously, take the batteries out, etc.

Kevin Duffy

The-Rigger wrote: »

If anyone asks, it's a back mpassager obviously, take the batteries out, etc.

FYP

Jesus Wept

No Keith, you ruined my post. How's Ro?

desertcircus

Serious answer for a moment: the Boots airside sells lubricant, vibrating rings and condoms. Don't bring handcuffs or rope, that's just asking for trouble from airport security. If you really must engage in bondage, bring a few ties; they'll do the job, and I guess you can tie a knot in the end if the occasion calls for a whip of some sort. Liquids for covering your partner in and licking them clean can only be brought in 100ml containers, which won't be enough; buy some raspberry syrup/chocolate sauce/whipped cream in a shop at your destination. Freaky underwear should be fine, but be aware that if they need to check your bag then your corset and suspenders may be pulled out in full view of all and sundry.

Actually, there's no need for a non-serious answer. This is a thread about bringing sex aids through airport security. How can anybody look at that topic and think "nah, not interesting enough by itself"?

blubloblu

phasers wrote: »

if it starts vibrating in your bag they call the bomb disposal unit. Take out the batteries!

Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article "a" dildo, never "your" dildo.

Kevin Duffy

The-Rigger wrote: »

No Keith, you ruined my post. How's Ro?

He's grand I believe, himself and Mikey are playing cricket in Skerries this weekend. Ro will most likely get battered and be left with a buzzing in his ears, like an intercom would sound.

cosmicfart

Once you have your dick with you it will end ok OP

ArtyM

As a rule, if it wont fit in your bag it definately wont fit in your....






Ok, Ok, Im getting my coat!

C-J

Got picked out for random bag search on random dirty weekend to london, basically all that was in my hand luggage was lube, massage oil, large box of condoms, stockings suspenders and corsets. Never been so ashamed in my life

Kevin Duffy

C-J wrote: »

Got picked out for random bag search on random dirty weekend to london, basically all that was in my hand luggage was lube, massage oil, large box of condoms, stockings suspenders and corsets. Never been so ashamed in my life

Jaysis, you shouldn't have been ashamed, you're kind of a hero/ine in my eyes!

prinz

C-J wrote: »

Got picked out for random bag search on random dirty weekend to london, basically all that was in my hand luggage was lube, massage oil, large box of condoms, stockings suspenders and corsets. Never been so ashamed in my life

Depending on the volume of the lube and oil it wasn't a random search at all and completely foreseeable.

Einhard

C-J wrote: »

Got picked out for random bag search on random dirty weekend to london, basically all that was in my hand luggage was lube, massage oil, large box of condoms, stockings suspenders and corsets. Never been so ashamed in my life

Same happened me, except I was coming back from a "dirty" weekend, and my bag was filled with un-opened condoms!:mad:

Fratton Fred

C-J wrote: »

Got picked out for random bag search on random dirty weekend to london, basically all that was in my hand luggage was lube, massage oil, large box of condoms, stockings suspenders and corsets. Never been so ashamed in my life

Some people make the simplest of things very complicated.

martic

I suppose a sheep would have to have all its injections so you would be better off leaving it behind

Fremen

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

He's grand I believe, himself and Mikey are playing cricket in Skerries this weekend. Ro will most likely get battered and be left with a buzzing in his ears, like an intercom would sound.

Delighted to hear it.

annascott

Flojo wrote: »

Be careful about the amount of lube you plan on bringing as I don't think you're aloud over 150ml of liquid in hand luggage. But aslong as your not into knives and shizz everything else would be grand.

no bottles larger than 50ml

2 stroke

You don't say where you are going. Rice krispies, vegemite and marmite are banned in Denmark.

callaway92

blubloblu wrote: »

Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article "a" dildo, never "your" dildo.

Fight Club is my favourite film ever...

good quote!

ringadingding

Mate of mine, for a joke put a dildo and bottle of water into his girlfriends hand luggage just before she left to fly to see us, he was expecting the security guy to pull it out , hold it aloft and watch it twang from side to side, but he just discretly pointed to the screen and asked her to pull out the water, she was still mortified though.

It was his revenge for a pretty awesome frape she done.

Mint Sauce

blubloblu wrote: »

Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but every once in a while... it's a dildo. Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article "a" dildo, never "your" dildo.

Were you watching fight club recently?

OutlawPete

The perfect thing ..