Sleeping on the couch in your friends house

ShadowGal

Then your friends housemate comes home, doesnt turn on the living room light. Goes straight to the tv, puts on some porn sits in the armchair thats in front of the sofa and proceeds to masturbate likes theres no tomorrow.

Do you cough to let said housemate know you're there ? or cover your ears and pray for the end ?

True story. Just wondering what you boardsies would do.

alwaysadub

Hahaha.
Is he cute?
Could've just jumped up and joined him!

g'em

What kind of porn?

thehairyelbow

Hope ya made him a cuppa afterwards

sonic85

or option 3 if youre a girl and the housemates a bloke - help him out?

Ricardo G

I'd proceed with a game of soggybiscuit

Chris P. Bacon

Female?
Male?
What kind of porn?

Mint Sauce

Let the Perv know I'm there. It will go something along the lines of '**** of filthy perv, I'm tryin to sleep here!!'

And then watch it my slef after he has left.

Donal Og O Baelach

Just hand him the tissues when the moment arrives.

questionmark?

Ya pervert watching it

The faping not the porn!

Ricardo G

Hope you lit a cigarette for him when he finished

ShadowGal

Sorry, to clarify it was a guy. The porn was loud, thats all i know

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Start groaning in time with him, then when he notices you, act nonchalant...

Nodin

ShadowGal wrote: »

Then your friends housemate comes home, doesnt turn on the living room light. Goes straight to the tv, puts on some porn sits in the armchair thats in front of the sofa and proceeds to masturbate likes theres no tomorrow.

Do you cough to let said housemate know you're there ? or cover your ears and pray for the end ?

True story. Just wondering what you boardsies would do.

...say nothing, as you may interrupt at a vital time, causing him to turn towards the source of the noise and be pointing in your direction at the 'grand finale'.

Mr. Presentable

How do ye know it's a bloke? I'd say it's a girl.

ShadowGal

Hail 2 Da Chimp wrote: »

Start groaning in time with him, then when he notices you, act nonchalant...

Thats the funniest one yet lol

Hail 2 Da Chimp

ShadowGal wrote: »

Thats the funniest one yet lol

YESSSSSSSS!!!! I win the internet!

Donal Og O Baelach

ShadowGal wrote: »

The porn was loud, thats all i know

Maybe it was just that David Attenborough documentary where the turtles are doing it and sound like they are having a great time .... Oh wait, that would be worse wouldn't it? Just snore loudly and watch him run away.

thehairyelbow

ShadowGal, what did you do?

ArtyM

ShadowGal wrote: »

masturbate likes theres no tomorrow.

In masturbation, like zen, there is only the NOW.

Chuck Stone

Scream and don't stop screaming until he runs away.

Ricardo G

Record the the dirty fcuker and post on youtube.....he wont do it again

tony1kenobi

Leave a tip before you head off.

Wolfe Tone

Jump up, go "Ah! I've never seen this one before" And start **** furiously.

Micky Dolenz

If I am male and my friend is male, I'd say "for fucks sake, whats wrong with you? No luck tonight eh, get the **** out, you dirty bastard"

If I am female and my friend is male, I'd dial 999.

If I am male and my friend is female, I'd watch and try to join in.

If I am female and my friend is female, see above.

Badgermonkey

What's the issue?

Imagine he'd put on the Bergerac box set and worked his manaconda every time the Triumph roadster hoved into view.

ShadowGal

thehairyelbow wrote: »

ShadowGal, what did you do?

I didnt want to say to early and ruin the fun here, but i gave a little sleepy cough, you know the one where you could be asleep ? one of those. Then there was sudden silence, The volume went down then off and about 5 minute later a sigh. I think the sigh was "****s sake" rather then "**** you im finished anyways" and he went to bed.

Pandora2

ShadowGal wrote: »

Then your friends housemate comes home, doesnt turn on the living room light. Goes straight to the tv, puts on some porn sits in the armchair thats in front of the sofa and proceeds to masturbate likes theres no tomorrow.

Do you cough to let said housemate know you're there ? or cover your ears and pray for the end ?

True story. Just wondering what you boardsies would do.

You think you had problems?? I was 12 and the majority of my extended family together with my Mum were travelling to Glasgow early in the morning so my parents, myself, 3 siblings, 2 Grandparents, aunt & uncle and their 3 kids were all in our house overnight. Cue kids in sleeping bags on every floor!! I was billeted beside Mum and Dad's bed...a high old fashioned wooden framed affair. At some point during the night I rolled under the bed and at about 6.30am the next morning I was awoken by sound effects that belonged in a porno flick!! They forgot I was there, I was trapped!! Didn't come out from under that bed until 11am!! Traumatised! Scarred for life!! Told my Mum on my hen night, scarlet was the colour of my Mummy's face:D

g'em

Grab a pen and paper and stare at him intently taking notes, when he asks you what the fcuk you're doing just tell him that you want to be able to tell the 5000 or so of your Internet friends who are eagerly awaiting to hear what happens next every detail possible.

If he can keep going after that then tbh you might want to take him for a jaunt, he's a keeper.

ShadowGal

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

If I am male and my friend is male, I'd say "for fucks sake, whats wrong with you? No luck tonight eh, get the **** out, you dirty bastard"

If I am female and my friend is male, I'd dial 999.

If I am male and my friend is female, I'd watch and try to join in.

If I am female and my friend is female, see above.

It was option 2 but i wouldnt start dialing

ShadowGal

Pandora2 wrote: »

You think you had problems?? I was 12 and the majority of my extended family together with my Mum were travelling to Glasgow early in the morning so my parents, myself, 3 siblings, 2 Grandparents, aunt & uncle and their 3 kids were all in our house overnight. Cue kids in sleeping bags on every floor!! I was billeted beside Mum and Dad's bed...a high old fashioned wooden framed affair. At some point during the night I rolled under the bed and at about 6.30am the next morning I was awoken by sound effects that belonged in a porno flick!! They forgot I was there, I was trapped!! Didn't come out from under that bed until 11am!! Traumatised! Scarred for life!! Told my Mum on my hen night, scarlet was the colour of my Mummy's face:D

No way !!! hahahaha. traumatized for life

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Jesus I hope he's a boardsie...then logs on later and see's this thread.

Whats his cum face like?

thehairyelbow

ShadowGal wrote: »

I didnt want to say to early and ruin the fun here, but i gave a little sleepy cough, you know the one where you could be asleep ? one of those. Then there was sudden silence, The volume went down then off and about 5 minute later a sigh. I think the sigh was "****s sake" rather then "**** you im finished anyways" and he went to bed.

Thank Christ. Wasn't you so... I got a bucket of water thrown at me.

ShadowGal

benwavner wrote: »

Jesus I hope he's a boardsie...then logs on later and see's this thread.

Whats his cum face like?

I dont know any boardies so you're all safe

Couldnt see the face as i was feigning sleep from behind :pac:

ShadowGal

thehairyelbow wrote: »

Thank Christ. Wasn't you so... I got a bucket of water thrown at me.

Well you enjoyed yourself, thats the important part

g'em

ShadowGal wrote: »

I didnt want to say to early and ruin the fun here, but i gave a little sleepy cough, you know the one where you could be asleep ? one of those. Then there was sudden silence, The volume went down then off and about 5 minute later a sigh. I think the sigh was "****s sake" rather then "**** you im finished anyways" and he went to bed.

Ah here. That needs a happy better ending, go back and delete it and make something up. I won't tell, promise

Nodin

ShadowGal wrote: »

I dont know any boardies so you're all safe

Couldnt see the face as i was feigning sleep from behind :pac:

...probably for the best. A 'bayonet charge' expression lit by the flickering of the TV wouldn't have done you any good.

Pandora2

ShadowGal wrote: »

I dont know any boardies so you're all safe

Couldnt see the face as i was feigning sleep from behind :pac:

Given your user name were you lurking in the shadows??

sollar

Say afterwards "how was it for you"

Praetorian Saighdiuir

I still think you should have performed a "Goatsie" for him......thatd really put him off!

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Pandora2 wrote: »

You think you had problems?? I was 12 and the majority of my extended family together with my Mum were travelling to Glasgow early in the morning so my parents, myself, 3 siblings, 2 Grandparents, aunt & uncle and their 3 kids were all in our house overnight. Cue kids in sleeping bags on every floor!! I was billeted beside Mum and Dad's bed...a high old fashioned wooden framed affair. At some point during the night I rolled under the bed and at about 6.30am the next morning I was awoken by sound effects that belonged in a porno flick!! They forgot I was there, I was trapped!! Didn't come out from under that bed until 11am!! Traumatised! Scarred for life!! Told my Mum on my hen night, scarlet was the colour of my Mummy's face:D

I hope she's paying for your counseling bills...

pragmatic1

ArtyM wrote: »

In masturbation, like zen, there is only the NOW.

Ha ha. So fcukin true. The house could be on fire.

Nodin

benwavner wrote: »

I still think you should have performed a "Goatsie" for him......thatd really put him off!

........or would it?

ShadowGal

g'em wrote: »

Ah here. That needs a happy better ending, go back and delete it and make something up. I won't tell, promise

I know lol, sorry. ok so i jumped up and said "hey, you're doing it wrong let me"

Oh_Noes

Mind your own beeswax and let him finish the job off. He's paying for that roof that he's wonking under and you're sleeping on his couch

ShadowGal

Pandora2 wrote: »

Given your user name were you lurking in the shadows??

I was jerking in the shadows !

g'em

ShadowGal wrote: »

I was jerking in the shadows !

See you're getting into the swing of it now, good woman!!

Praetorian Saighdiuir

Dont you remember American Pie??????

"looks like you could use another hand" heh heh heh

If roles were reversed, what would you prefer to happen?

Pandora2

Knew it!!

pragmatic1

benwavner wrote: »

I still think you should have performed a "Goatsie" for him......thatd really put him off!

A female goatsie? If thats not an invitation I dont know what is.

ShadowGal

benwavner wrote: »

Dont you remember American Pie??????

"looks like you could use another hand" heh heh heh

If roles were reversed, what would you prefer to happen?

Good question. I think it might be slightly different if a woman gets caught. girls ? i dunno, i think my head would explode from embarrassment