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Possible rapture imminent. Last thoughts everybody, please!

  • 20-05-2011 3:11pm
    #1
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,449 Mod ✭✭✭✭robindch


    Well, we're just into the last eight hours, at least in our time zone and I'm wondering what profound thoughts people have on this, possibly their last night on earth?

    I'm with Douglas Adams's advice on what to do if you're stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue:
    Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer.
    Any other ideas, thoughts, regrets?


«13

Comments

  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,798 ✭✭✭✭keane2097


    So long, and thanks for all the fish.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,516 ✭✭✭RedXIV


    8 hours eh? I reckon its time for a slap up BBQ and a piss up, and then not worry about hangover :D


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,247 ✭✭✭stevejazzx


    I hope that just one atheist can make it into heaven just to undermine god for eternity!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,880 ✭✭✭Canis Lupus


    Will it be worth staying up for?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,950 ✭✭✭Simi


    keane2097 wrote: »
    So long, and thanks for all the fish.

    Hey!


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,872 ✭✭✭strobe


    I suppose just a heads up for people. When your adverts.ie and eBay accounts stop working at midnight I'm now set up as professional middle man. I charge 10% to facilitate all your trading needs.



    2i8gpon.jpg

    n1b9g1.jpg


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,811 ✭✭✭CerebralCortex


    So is it midnight tonight or midnight tomorrow? Is tomorrow the last day or today? :confused:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 136 ✭✭TechFreak


    Hmmmm...may be about time to trade in that soul. Any got the going rate these days?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 18,150 ✭✭✭✭Malari


    This was fun!

    When is the next rapture?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 136 ✭✭TechFreak


    So is it midnight tonight or midnight tomorrow? Is tomorrow the last day or today? :confused:
    6 O clock EST tomorrow last I heard....


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  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,449 Mod ✭✭✭✭robindch


    So is it midnight tonight or midnight tomorrow? Is tomorrow the last day or today? :confused:
    Well, I think technically, today's the last full day. Somebody mentioned that the rapture is due to start tomorrow evening at 6, New York time, which is around the time the rapture party is going to be thrown out of the Lord Nelson tomorrow evening.

    Should make for a fun cycle home, avoiding all those naked, upwardly-airborne christians.

    Unfortunately, Mr Campings website has fallen over(*), so we can't check the latest.

    (*) or has it been raptured early?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,202 ✭✭✭✭Penn


    Anyone else starting to wish they put Roman Catholic on their census form?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 850 ✭✭✭Hookah


    Pascal's Wager; last call to place your bets.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 864 ✭✭✭Kxiii


    Th_raptorjesus.jpg


    The Raptor is coming

    All hail our dino overlord


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,141 ✭✭✭eoin5


    Captain Darling: Made a note in my diary on the way here. Simply says: "Bugger"


  • Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 25,872 Mod ✭✭✭✭Doctor DooM


    It'd be awful ironic if the Dirk Gently program never got aired because of the rapture.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 850 ✭✭✭Hookah


    Kxiii wrote: »
    Th_raptorjesus.jpg


    The Raptor is coming

    All hail our dino overlord

    A veloci-rapture?


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,563 Mod ✭✭✭✭Dades


    Anyone want to "repent" and go undercover?

    Then when you reveal yourself and get cast down to Hell with us, you can tell us what the story is. And by that I mean is Jesus really blonde with blue eyes or does he look like Super Mario. :)


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,449 Mod ✭✭✭✭robindch


    Barrington wrote: »
    Anyone else starting to wish they put Roman Catholic on their census form?
    No.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 864 ✭✭✭Kxiii


    Hookah wrote: »
    A veloci-rapture?


    Well at least it will be quick :D


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,611 ✭✭✭✭Sam Vimes


    I wish I'd spent more time at the office


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 32,865 ✭✭✭✭MagicMarker


    Sam Vimes wrote: »
    I wish I'd spent more time at the office
    GET OUT OF MY LOCATION!!!!!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,739 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    Isn't it 6pm tomorrow? It'll start at 6pm everywhere, so we can enjoy watching the Australians getting sucked up into the sky. That gives us about 25 hours to go.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 576 ✭✭✭pts


    Kxiii wrote: »
    Well at least it will be quick :D

    Don't you know anything! Let me quote Dr. Alan Grant, Rapture expert

    250full.jpg
    You get your first look at this "six foot turkey" as you enter a clearing. He moves like a bird, lightly, bobbing his head. And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like T-Rex – he'll lose you if you don't move. But no, not Velociraptor. You stare at him, and he just stares right back. And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side, from the other two raptors you didn't even know were there. Because Velociraptor's a pack hunter, you see, he uses coordinated attack patterns and he is out in force today. And he slashes at you with this – a six-inch retractable claw, like a razor, on the middle toe. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, oh no … he slashes at you here [below chest] or here … [above the groin] or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is … you are alive when they start to eat


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,436 ✭✭✭c_man


    You know what this will mean, a huge chunk of the population flying into heaven?


    Yeah that's right, higher taxes for those of us left behind :mad:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,286 ✭✭✭tfitzgerald


    I will miss ye all when I am lifted up to the heavens tomorrow or maybe even beamed up to a nice spaceship :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 111 ✭✭kiki


    Send me your money - I'll look after it, you wont be needing it I'm sure..


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,286 ✭✭✭tfitzgerald


    If I had any money you could have it


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,371 ✭✭✭✭Zillah


    I blaspheme the holy spirit.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 39,022 ✭✭✭✭Permabear


    This post has been deleted.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,312 ✭✭✭Daftendirekt


    So... who was packing those sandwiches?


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 35,522 ✭✭✭✭Gordon


    When the rapture happens, as the bible has guaranteed, whoever doesn't float magically up into the magical pixie sky remains for 5 months of earth hell and torment. This is fact, fair enough, I get it.. So when Mr. Camping remains on Earth after the rapture, he has no comeback to say that he calculated incorrectly, because he will remain on Earth, he is obviously not a 'true' Christian, he wasn't taken, nobody truly is a true Christian because nobody will be taken. I wonder if he'll convert to another brand of religion as soon as he finds out that he's not a true Christian, but I imagine he'll cop out and fob us off with the miscalculation excuse, again.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,188 ✭✭✭pH


    Pz5AtmDS_original.jpg

    Hope amazon are still selling this after the weekend.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    If the world really does end and god does exist, I am going to have a few choice words for that lazy sadistic bastard.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,700 ✭✭✭tricky D


    I'm bringing a towel. Also gonna leave the lights on and the water running. So long.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    And god said to Noah there's gonna be a flood-y flood-y!

    Damn Fladerses!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb




  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 720 ✭✭✭3greenrizla's




  • Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 9,054 Mod ✭✭✭✭mewso


    I will miss ye all when I am lifted up to the heavens tomorrow or maybe even beamed up to a nice spaceship :)

    Just don't wear a red shirt.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,824 ✭✭✭ShooterSF


    *Symptoms of man flu coming on*

    *Prays feverishly for rapture*


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  • Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,387 Mod ✭✭✭✭DeVore


    I'm still here... I'm an hour ahead of you guys and gals. Maybe this is like Sony and it works one country at a time.

    Still. 30 more minutes if you guys and gals have, ya'know, anything important to say to me.

    DeV.
    Ps: if anyone else is packing a picnic , ive got coleslaw and beer covered but bring a bottle opener.


  • Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,387 Mod ✭✭✭✭DeVore


    Hookah wrote: »
    A veloci-rapture?
    Damn you!!!!! Now my tweet looks like I totally stole your joke.


    I hope you die in some inexplicable biblical event. *pout*

    DeV. :)


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 108 ✭✭blacktalons


    SecondComing2050-06232010.jpg

    May 20, 2011 – No, the world is not ending on May 21, 2011 and the Bible does not call the day Judgment Day. We should avoid setting dates for any end of the world events. The Bible clearly states that the timing of Christ’s second coming is unknown to himself or to the angels in heaven: “But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.” Matthew 24:36. Christ repeatedly told his disciples that the sequence and timing of such end-time events was in the hands of his Father only. Just before his accession, Christ made this salient point again with his disciples when they asked him if it was time to restore the nation of Israel. “And he said unto them, it is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power.” Acts 1:7 Yet men, who are made a little lower than the angels, claim to know what has been secreted from the ages, hidden from human eyes, and is privileged to the Most High only. Christ warned his disciples: “Watch ye therefore: for ye know not what hour your Lord doth come.” Matthew 24:42. There are two other vital points about Christ’s coming worth mentioning: Every eye shall see the coming and all nations shall mourn because of His unexpected return. (Rev 1:7, Matt 240) Only He who made the world has the power to decide its end. This right of judgment resides in the authority and power of God, “who created all things by Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 3:9. Out of loving reverence and trust for the Creator, we should be careful about claiming rights and knowledge that is reserved to His providence along. Job 11:7. Man is called to stand firmly on the word of God as his foundation of truth and not on his interpretation of it. Christ came to this Earth, suffered an ignominious death and brought healing and light to human souls to demonstrate the true nature and loving character of the very God which was shrouded in the shadows and lies instigated by the fallen Lucifer. After this disappointment, thousands must live with frayed hopes and a faith that is in tatters because it rests more in the hands of men than it does in the promises and Word of the Almighty. believe it or not


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,611 ✭✭✭✭Sam Vimes


    Still here......


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 25,563 Mod ✭✭✭✭Dades


    DeVore wrote: »
    Ps: if anyone else is packing a picnic , ive got coleslaw and beer covered but bring a bottle opener.
    Coleslaw?! No thanks... I've got a box of wine and a tin of chocolate kimberlies.

    And baby wipes. There's always a need for baby wipes.


  • Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,387 Mod ✭✭✭✭DeVore


    Wine? Pffffff, my mate Jesus has so much of that it's like water ....





    So.




    Still there?















    What about now?


    DeV.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,681 ✭✭✭Standman


    I think I just saw Jesus out the back


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    Well this is disappointing. If I had predicted an event like this and convinced a large amount of people to abandon their worldly responsibilities and it completely failed to happen, I don't know how I could look myself in the mirror.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 43 0Default0


    Sarky wrote: »
    Well this is disappointing. If I had predicted an event like this and convinced a large amount of people to abandon their worldly responsibilities and it completely failed to happen, I don't know how I could look myself in the mirror.

    Its supposed to happen at 6pm, repent, feeble unbeliever.

    Because "the lord" likes timezones.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    That's oddly accurate.

    I suppose he's had experience though. It's not the first time he's predicted the end of the world.


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