Fav Ross O'Carroll-Kelly phrases?

ditzyfitzy

Reading the books for the first time at the mo and I keep finding myself laughing my head off at some of his brilliant phrases or rhyming slang..!

I think my fav so far is "Allied Irish", BRILLIANT..!

Anybody else find them completely hilarious and wish to share some gems..?!

My name is URL

The End.

Show Time

Not really i find him a boring idiot.

RichieC

never heard of him save for a few mentions here.

melekalikimaka

i ran down the stairs like i'd take the seoige sisters


two at a time

yupyup7up

An "Apollo". In reference to Apollo Creed from Rocky.

It's where you give some nobody a shot at the title

I.e. F*ck someone awful.

Ghost Buster

I like the way he mispronounces the letter 'R' as "ore"

melekalikimaka

Ghost Buster wrote: »

I like the way he mispronounces the letter 'R' as "ore"

its an accent not a mispronounciation

BaZmO*

"Gerrowadat Garden!"

kfallon

Lying in the 'Margaret'

Margaret Thatcher - scratcher!

Gunsfortoys

I find him hilarious and it really highlights the ridiculousness of some people.

sbsquarepants

I can't stand the annoying twat, so therefore the phrase i'd like to hear most is "i have terminal cancer"



And yes, i do know he's a fictional character! I hope he gets fictional cancer!:D

thebigbiffo

anything by Fr. Fehily is great. The way he keeps dropping subtle anti-semetic, pro-Nazi, WW2 references into everything he says....

Sykk

who?

bonerm

Sykk wrote: »

who?

I think he's one of the priests from Father Ted.

Ghost Buster

melekalikimaka wrote: »

its an accent not a mispronounciation

I beg to differ

Badgermonkey

ditzyfitzy wrote: »

laughing my head off at some of his brilliant phrases or rhyming slang..!

I think my fav so far is "Allied Irish", BRILLIANT..!

Kenneth Williams used to refer to having a 'Barclays' and that was probably 30+ years ago.

ROCK is a one joke type of affair, mildly amusing at best when it began imo.

Kumejima

"face like a bucket of smashed crabs"
"face like a blind cobblers thumb"
"Tallahfornia" "Brayjing" "Knackeragua"

There are so many.

Btw, am I the only one who thinks Ivor looks more like the Ross I had in my head than the guy who does the plays?

smurfy89

Dropping the kids off at the pool :cool:

melekalikimaka

CHV

keano_afc

There's tons I use all the time. Giving someone the "Spanish archer" made me laugh. The latest play was good, one particular line had me in stitches. When his mother was talking about living in Sallynoggin, she sid "the Jehovahs Witness used to knock at the door and tell US to f*ck off!"

copeyhagen

im pretty sure the author didnt make up 90% of them cockney slangs that have been posted in this thread.

and im pretty sure hes a dick

Bueller

"Thick as bottled ****e"

"I'm horder than honours physics here"

Insect Overlord

copeyhagen wrote: »

im pretty sure the author didnt make up 90% of them cockney slangs that have been posted in this thread.

and im pretty sure hes a dick

I met him recently. Very, very sound man. People confuse him (Paul Howard) with his character, usually failing to realise that Ross (the character) is supposed to be annoying.

ditzyfitzy

Insect Overlord wrote: »

I met him recently. Very, very sound man. People confuse him (Paul Howard) with his character, usually failing to realise that Ross (the character) is supposed to be annoying.

I imagine he has that problem quite a lot, people not being able to distinguish between the writer & the character. I'd say he must be a laugh! Only ever seen him in interviews though :pac:

Jesus Wept

Rhyming slang is ****, that's why cockneys do it.

jimthemental

Ugg boots = "the old slut wellies"

elefant

The Daniel Day= The LUAS.

BOBFOC- Body off baywatch, face off crimewatch.


Don't know how anyone can find the books unfunny.

greenet

melekalikimaka wrote: »

i ran down the stairs like i'd take the seoige sisters


two at a time

Ditto!
I find him funny, even more so because its true

orourkeda

Fack Off you posh southside Cant

orourkeda

elefant wrote: »

The Daniel Day= The LUAS.

BOBFOC- Body off baywatch, face off crimewatch.


Don't know how anyone can find the books unfunny.

Assuming that one has gone to the trouble of reading them of course.

RonMexico

copeyhagen wrote: »

im pretty sure the author didnt make up 90% of them cockney slangs that have been posted in this thread.

and im pretty sure hes a dick

Met him a few weeks ago. He is a very nice guy to talk to, totally down to earth. Bought me a beer too.:cool:

phasers

Kumejima wrote: »

"face like a bucket of smashed crabs"
"face like a blind cobblers thumb"
"Tallahfornia" "Brayjing" "Knackeragua"

There are so many.

Btw, am I the only one who thinks Ivor looks more like the Ross I had in my head than the guy who does the plays?

It's Brayruit :pac:

bren2002

AJH - Ah Jeysus Howeya

WhiteRussian

A Father Feeley gem

" . . . rules are rules, and until a better way is devised of stopping country schools from doing so well in the competition, we'll just have to put up with it. But you owe it, not only to your school, but to your class, your people, your way of life, to ensure that every single upper-middle class one of you stands up and makes himself counted this afternoon."

DonnieDunesman

Going for a few Richard Gere's.....beers! A few pints of responsibly!! Doing up my Tony Blair....hair! He's a genius, follow him on twitter along with @Al_Boreland

Say Your Number

Found it hilarious when they would drive around poorer areas of Dublin roll down the window and shout AFFLUENCE!

tony 2 tone

Read the first book, can only handle the short bit in the weekend Irish Times though. It can be funny but gets old very quick.

greenybaby

I loved the fact when reading the books you actually read them with a south side accent i can't pick a favourite line because the books as a whole were awesome!!

Elmer Blooker

R.O'C.K "I find those hunky dory ads totally offensive................ women rugby players don't really look like that!"

strokemyclover

Probably one of the most unfunny characters I've ever come across tbh. All his stuff is ripped (which the author admits himself, fair play to him for that) and if you get public transport (particularly the DART or Green line LUAS) on a regular basis you're likely to overhear the plot for most of his books.

You have to give him credit for putting down on paper what most of us have been hearing for years though!

harney

They are the only books that had people coming up to me on the tube saying how much they love them, although I may have been drawing attention to myself by laughing out loud with tears running down my face

This one always cracks me up

"We both check out these two air hostesses who walk in, not Ryanair, decent-looking ones. "

ditzyfitzy

Came across this today...

"that Destiny's Child song comes on, roysh, 'Independent Woman' or whatever the fock it's called, music for cutting men's mickeys off to"

:pac::pac:

flahavaj

Most of the stuff is blatanty robed, but nnetheless its still pretty funny tbh. Sometimes you really have to think long and hard about the obscure rhymning slang he uses though.

Pace2008

Holy ****, how did this anyone make a career out of this funny-for-about-five-minutes-six-years-ago gimmick?

cml387

I've never read the books,I stick to the Irish Times snippets (I think the Sunday Tribune had the best of Ross though).

The appalling characters he created are the best summary of the Celtic Tiger .

The father (knobhead) Charles and his sheepskin coat rugby chum Hennessy.

His daughter the 4 year old going on 23 who is like so into style and fashion and abhors poor people (povs).

Who could not but weep at the decline and fall of Sorcha's boutique in the Powerscourt center (seemingly the epicenter culture for the Cubs).

He can nail the northside accent too.Perhaps his son Ronan is the nearest to a hero in the series (though he should really give up the fags now he's 15).

The Master of Disaster

Not so much a phrase but that scene from the Teenage Dirtbag years when Oisinn and Ross have a fake ID business going and the Triads (unbeknownest to Ross) come in and talk to Oisinn about quitting the scheme etc. I don't remember the exact quote but it was something to the effect of:

Oisinn: Ross see the way those guys are all missing their little fingers?
Ross: Oh God there not from Newtown Mount Kennedy are they?

Ah the days when ROCK would properly make me laugh out loud. It still produces the odd little chuckle here and there but it's not quite what it was in the early days.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Loved the time they were heading out to Tallaght to retrieve one of the lads phones that had been nicked. Ross fell asleep and woke up to look out the window in sheer horror at the houses piled up on top of each other. "How do people live in such poverty!?"
Rhyle Nugent who also happened to be there replies "Calm down babycakes, we're only in Terenure yet!"
Or something along those line

Funniest Irish fiction I've read and speaks volumes about the airs of self-importance and entitlement that existed (and still do) in abundance during the "Tiger"

cml387

Reign Refined Student wrote: »

Loved the time they were heading out to Tallaght to retrieve one of the lads phones that had been nicked. Ross fell asleep and woke up to look out the window in sheer horror at the houses piled up on top of each other. "How do people live in such poverty!?"
Rhyle Nugent who also happened to be there replies "Calm down babycakes, we're only in Terenure yet!"
Or something along those line

Funniest Irish fiction I've read and speaks volumes about the airs of self-importance and entitlement that existed (and still do) in abundance during the "Tiger"

Weird,that's exactly the quote I was thinking of.

What about Mrs. O'Carroll Kelly's futile campaign to move Funderland to the northside?

mack1

"The goy's as hord as a blind lezzers nipples in a fish factory."

Gold.

gypsy_rose

Another that isn't really a phrase, but the one where they go on holiday and try to sleep with as many girls as possible, they have a leader board on the wall with comments and one of them was Jacinta from Finglas "Ah jaysus, I'm sweatin'!"