Is there a set age?

maddogz

I am aiming this at both male and female and would welcome all imput.

My situation I am in a happy relationship 2 years and am quiet comfortable, she is a lovely woman, we both work hard and mainly see each other weekends and often go for a meal mid week.

Recently, her attitude has become fiery, she is talking marraige, kids, moving in together etc.

I have told her that although I love her I dont want any of the named above. I'm extremely happy the way things are and dont see why we should change them, Ive always been clear that I have no intentions of having kids and she accepted this. As for living together and weddings I personally dont see the point.

I do want to stay with this woman, so what I am asking is am I being selfish saying no to these things? Is there a point in life where you do something to make your partner happy, is there an unwritten rule amongs us that says we have to marry and live together by a certain age?

Celly Smunt

bitch wants a chain and ball,bitches love chains and balls

Wolfe Tone

She wants to be married and have kids, dont string her along in a, from her point of view, dead end relationship.

phasers

You don't see the point in living together? But how will she do all the cooking and cleaning?

MagicMarker

Nothing wrong with no kids or marriage.

But if you never want to live with her, then you're gonna have a problem.

Nodin

maddogz wrote: »

I am aiming this at both male and female and would welcome all imput.

My situation I am in a happy relationship 2 years and am quiet comfortable, she is a lovely woman, we both work hard and mainly see each other weekends and often go for a meal mid week.

Recently, her attitude has become fiery, she is talking marraige, kids, moving in together etc.

I have told her that although I love her I dont want any of the named above. I'm extremely happy the way things are and dont see why we should change them, Ive always been clear that I have no intentions of having kids and she accepted this. As for living together and weddings I personally dont see the point.

I do want to stay with this woman, so what I am asking is am I being selfish saying no to these things? Is there a point in life where you do something to make your partner happy, is there an unwritten rule amongs us that says we have to marry and live together by a certain age?

What age are ye?

MagicMarker

By the by, 2 years is too early for her to be asking for kids and marriage tbh. How old are ya?

Tito Ortiz

MagicMarker wrote: »

By the by, 2 years is too early for her to be asking for kids and marriage tbh. How old are ya?

Not sure about this,surely after 2 years it's time for the next step..

Jaxxy

Tell her you've no intention of making any commitment whatsoever.

JohnathanM

Tito Ortiz wrote: »

Not sure about this,surely after 2 years it's time for the next step..

anal?

phasers

Tito Ortiz wrote: »

Not sure about this,surely after 2 years it's time for the next step..

The next step would be living together, not kids!

Nodin

Tito Ortiz wrote: »

Not sure about this,surely after 2 years it's time for the next step..

...giving the anal a go? Maybe.


We need to know what age he & she are though. and the OP's buggered off.

LighterGuy

maddogz wrote: »

I have told her that although I love her I dont want any of the named above. I'm extremely happy the way things are and dont see why we should change them, Ive always been clear that I have no intentions of having kids and she accepted this. As for living together and weddings I personally dont see the point....

Sorry to ask,
but is the thought of getting married / moving in the thing you dont want? (as in not ready with any woman) ... or not ready with her?

slavetothegrind

this new cohabitators rights legislation should be considered too if one of you is a home owner.

but really if ya love her there's no problem if there's a problem move on.

Nodin

JohnathanM wrote: »

anal?

...beat me by a minute, fair fucks to ye.

Duckworth_Luas

Show her the new ISPCC ad and ask her, "does this turn you on as much as it's turning me on". She'll soon stop talking about kids and moving in together.

hondasam

maddogz wrote: »

I am aiming this at both male and female and would welcome all imput.

My situation I am in a happy relationship 2 years and am quiet comfortable, she is a lovely woman, we both work hard and mainly see each other weekends and often go for a meal mid week.

Recently, her attitude has become fiery, she is talking marraige, kids, moving in together etc.

I have told her that although I love her I dont want any of the named above. I'm extremely happy the way things are and dont see why we should change them, Ive always been clear that I have no intentions of having kids and she accepted this. As for living together and weddings I personally dont see the point.

I do want to stay with this woman, so what I am asking is am I being selfish saying no to these things? Is there a point in life where you do something to make your partner happy, is there an unwritten rule amongs us that says we have to marry and live together by a certain age?

can you see yourself changing you mind on the marriage and kids topic. Is she willing to stay with you and not have kids ?

why not live together for awhile and see what happens.

Celly Smunt

Duckworth_Luas wrote: »

Show her the new ISPCC ad and ask her, "does this turn you on as much as it's turning me on". She'll soon stop talking about kids and moving in together.

what if she say's yes and then you're sucked into a life time of doing your daughter while she watches and schlicks

Captain_Generic

pmcmahon wrote: »

what if she say's yes and then you're sucked into a life time of doing your daughter while she watches and schlicks

Is my daughter hot?

Biggins

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

She wants to be married and have kids, dont string her along in a, from her point of view, dead end relationship.

Thats about it.
Don't (if there is any decency in you) string her along, letting her think that your feelings might change.
In some people efforts to keep with their other half, a bad person might knowingly let their other half be deliberately kept fooled into thinking that there might be hope too for their future aspirations also.

You have laid out your thoughts on the future - now make doubly sure she understands these are not open to change as you see things now.
State to her exactly that 'you might change in the future but at this juncture, you cannot see any reason or indication that this is going to happen in any possible foreseeable future'.

If your really love her and want to see her and her aspirations come to as close fruition as possible, you will do the decent thing and compromise or let her go and let her gain that which she will eventually not gain through yourself.

Celly Smunt

Captain_Generic wrote: »

Is my daughter hot?

Irish average

Captain_Generic

pmcmahon wrote: »

Irish average

It'll have to do

Big Nasty

OP has teh ghey! :pac:

mikom

maddogz wrote: »

Is there a point in life where you do something to make your partner happy,

Yep it's called her birthday.

Biggins

Originally Posted by maddogz]
Is there a point in life where you do something to make your partner happy,

mikom wrote: »

Yep it's called her birthday.

I would say every day!

greenybaby

You say she accepted that you did not want kids ....................... i as a woman will tell you what that meant She said she "accepted" it but did not really mean this what she meant was "ok you don't want kids, but i will make you want kids in the future as i am the woman that will change you" :D:D:D

obviously she isn't, when you find the right woman you will do ANYTHING she wants, in fact you will be the one suggesting marriage and kids :rolleyes::rolleyes:

unless of course you want to lead a lonely life because 99.9% of women want marriage and kids and you'll be lucky if you find one that doesn't

that is all

God...

greenybaby wrote: »

You say she accepted that you did not want kids ....................... i as a woman will tell you what that meant She said she "accepted" it but did not really mean this what she meant was "ok you don't want kids, but i will make you want kids in the future as i am the woman that will change you" :D:D:D

obviously she isn't, when you find the right woman you will do ANYTHING she wants, in fact you will be the one suggesting marriage and kids :rolleyes::rolleyes:

unless of course you want to lead a lonely life because 99.9% of women want marriage and kids and you'll be lucky if you find one that doesn't

that is all

Funny thing is women with this attitude will be the lonely ones or in relationships were there partner grows to hate or resent them for there life having been manipulated into a life they didn't want.

And maybe I'm a cynic but I think you're watching to many films or listening way to much fairytales with the whole "when you find the right woman you will do ANYTHING she wants, in fact you will be the one suggesting marriage and kids."

That is all :P

greenybaby

God... wrote: »

Funny thing is women with this attitude will be the lonely ones or in relationships were there partner grows to hate or resent them for there life having been manipulated into a life they didn't want.

And maybe I'm a cynic but I think you're watching to many films or listening to many fairytales with the whole "when you find the right woman you will do ANYTHING she wants, in fact you will be the one suggesting marriage and kids."

That is all :P

You are right about the first bit there, i know lots of women that manipulate but these are the ones that succeed as far as i can see, yes the men might hate them or whatever but at the same time they are too afraid to leave them :rolleyes:

Not watching too many films or listening to any fairytales, i am watching it in reality, lads that are complete and utter d**ks to their women, cheating etc and next thing they meet the one girl they would die for and you see a complete transformation

Coriolanus

Keep an eye on the birth control OP. Might want to consider getting the snip to pre-emptively scupper any "faulty" batch of pills.

maddogz

Just to clarify it Im 35 and she is 28.
I dont want to be stringing her along, thats not my intention at all. I deeply love her and everything about her.
After the first few months together we had 'the talk' and I am i abuntantly clear the kis were not on my agenda and never would be. There has been times when she herself has said that they are not an issue and that she could go without, so in that I know she is confused

JohnathanM wrote: »

anal?

Give me some credit thats 6 months material, but do like the way you think

Mrmoe

greenybaby wrote: »

You say she accepted that you did not want kids ....................... i as a woman will tell you what that meant She said she "accepted" it but did not really mean this what she meant was "ok you don't want kids, but i will make you want kids in the future as i am the woman that will change you" :D:D:D

obviously she isn't, when you find the right woman you will do ANYTHING she wants, in fact you will be the one suggesting marriage and kids :rolleyes::rolleyes:

unless of course you want to lead a lonely life because 99.9% of women want marriage and kids and you'll be lucky if you find one that doesn't

that is all

Evidence or link please? Not anywhere near that from what I have encountered.

Wibbs

Ask yourself why you don't want all the marriage and kids thing. Are you thinking hey I'm young so why tie myself down? Why buy a book when you can join a library and all that.

Or do you simply not want kids? I know I don't. I find them horrible yokes altogether and contrary to popular belief there are women out there who don't want them either. So you don't have to be a breeder with a semi dee and cats and school runs if you don't want to. There are enough people on the planet, we don't need to be adding any more ankle biters than we already need.

As for keeping things as they are? Most blokes I reckon are similar. We like the status quo, the why the hell change it if it's not broken principle. With a goodly section of the ladies, they want the steps in the right order at the right time. And quite a few will get pushy if they don't get their way so.....

Whatever you do don't be emotionally blackmailed into anything and for gods sake keep wearing the condoms. You dont want any accidents happening and if you leave it up to her and get up the duff then you can't really complain. But in the end if ye don't want the same thing, then let her go and find some bloke who does.

greenybaby

Mrmoe wrote: »

Evidence or link please? Not anywhere near that from what I have encountered.

evidence of what?

Wibbs

greenybaby wrote: »

evidence of what?

That what you think and want applies to 99.9% of your gender.

Jaxxy

maddogz wrote: »

Just to clarify it Im 35 and she is 28.
I dont want to be stringing her along, thats not my intention at all. I deeply love her and everything about her.
After the first few months together we had 'the talk' and I am i abuntantly clear the kis were not on my agenda and never would be. There has been times when she herself has said that they are not an issue and that she could go without, so in that I know she is confused

Fact is people change, and so do their priorities. I don't currently want any of that marriage rigmarole myself but that doesn't mean I can't or won't change my mind in two or five or even twenty years time. Her attitude is probably that she's invested two years of her life with you, and some people (not all) expect something to show for it at the end. If you're not willing to budge on this you have to be honest with her. Tell her like it is, leave the ball in her court and let her decide if she's willing to settle for less than what she wants at this current moment in time.

greenybaby

Wibbs wrote: »

That what you think and want applies to 99.9% of your gender.

http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Do-Women-Develop-the-Urge-of-Getting-Married?&id=2267999

it may not give a percentage but it sums up women pretty well

God...

greenybaby wrote: »

You are right about the first bit there, i know lots of women that manipulate but these are the ones that succeed as far as i can see, yes the men might hate them or whatever but at the same time they are too afraid to leave them :rolleyes:

So they manipulated and are spending their lives in a relationship were their partner hates and resents them deep down and they have succeeded in life???

greenybaby

God... wrote: »

So they manipulated are spending there lives in relationship were there partner hates and resents them deep down and they have succeeded in life???

the manipulated are not hated by their partners it is the other way around or they certainly live in fear of them there are people out there men and women that feel that this is the best they will get and there are people out there that are nothing but victims of bullies, i tell ya if i treated my other half the way people around me treat theirs he would be gone a long time ago

ArtyM

maddogz wrote: »

Give me some credit thats 6 months material

Did your ass hurt much OP?

Jaxxy

greenybaby wrote: »

the manipulated are not hated by their partners it is the other way around or they certainly live in fear of them there are people out there men and women that feel that this is the best they will get and there are people out there that are nothing but victims of bullies, i tell ya if i treated my other half the way people around me treat theirs he would be gone a long time ago

What decade are you living in? These days people can leave their partners freely.

sunflower27

greenybaby wrote: »

You say she accepted that you did not want kids ....................... i as a woman will tell you what that meant She said she "accepted" it but did not really mean this what she meant was "ok you don't want kids, but i will make you want kids in the future as i am the woman that will change you" :D:D:D

obviously she isn't, when you find the right woman you will do ANYTHING she wants, in fact you will be the one suggesting marriage and kids :rolleyes::rolleyes:

unless of course you want to lead a lonely life because 99.9% of women want marriage and kids and you'll be lucky if you find one that doesn't

that is all

What a crock of ****. I've never wanted kids (knew from about age 25) and know several friends that don't want them either.

OP, you are not selfish for wanting the life you want, but if you want fundamentally different things, then time to move on I think.

greenybaby

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

What decade are you living in? These days people can leave their partners freely.

eh duh i know that and it is so easy to say it isn't it :rolleyes::rolleyes:

how many women live their lives being battered by their spouses and never leave

wild_cat

greenybaby wrote: »

You say she accepted that you did not want kids ....................... i as a woman will tell you what that meant She said she "accepted" it but did not really mean this what she meant was "ok you don't want kids, but i will make you want kids in the future as i am the woman that will change you" :D:D:D

obviously she isn't, when you find the right woman you will do ANYTHING she wants, in fact you will be the one suggesting marriage and kids :rolleyes::rolleyes:

unless of course you want to lead a lonely life because 99.9% of women want marriage and kids and you'll be lucky if you find one that doesn't

that is all

Haven't had a reason to hate other women in ages. Well done.

maddogz

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

Fact is people change, and so do their priorities. I don't currently want any of that marriage rigmarole myself but that doesn't mean I can't or won't change my mind in two or five or even twenty years time. Her attitude is probably that she's invested two years of her life with you, and some people (not all) expect something to show for it at the end. If you're not willing to budge on this you have to be honest with her. Tell her like it is, leave the ball in her court and let her decide if she's willing to settle for less than what she wants at this current moment in time.

I think this is the advice I was seeking

And by the looks of answers the answer to my question is no there is no certain age

greenybaby

wild_cat wrote: »

Haven't had a reason to hate other women in ages. Well done.

I am meeerly stating what some women are like, not all of them are like that

God...

greenybaby wrote: »

unfortunately yes! there are people out there men and women that feel that this is the best they will get and there are people out there that are nothing but victims of bullies, i tell ya if i treated my other half the way people around me treat theirs he would be gone a long time ago

Ahh I know it goes on but to think these people have "suceeded" in life is sad.

greenybaby

God... wrote: »

Ahh I know it goes on but to think these people have "suceeded" in life is sad.

i know

Jaxxy

greenybaby wrote: »

eh duh i know that and it is so easy to say it isn't it :rolleyes::rolleyes:

Yes it is actually.

how many women live their lives being battered by their spouses and never leave

Not many in comparison to those who do.

greenybaby wrote: »

I am meeerly stating what some women are like, not all of them are like that

You said 99.9% of women are like that. That's a little bit more than "some".

:pac:

greenybaby

JaxxYChicK wrote: »

Yes it is actually.



Not many in comparison to those who do.



You said 99.9% of women are like that. That's a little bit more than "some".

:pac:

if you read back i said 99.9% of women want marriage and kids

my post about not all women are like that is referring to manipulating women

Karona

Be honest with her, she will resent you in years to come if she is still with you and too old to have kids that she really wants.

maddogz

ArtyM wrote: »

Did your ass hurt much OP?

What I would imagine giving birth to a st Bernard would feel like