Unprotected sex

LegacyUser

Posting unreggd for obvious reasons ....

My boyfriend and I have decided to try for a baby. So, the few months, we've been having sex without condoms.

Its the first time I've ever had sex without them, even when I was on the pill with exes I always used condoms too. And I have to admit, I do enjoy the sex more without them .... but after, it just feels really disgusting! I don't want to get too graphic, but its just so "messy", the sheets and all ... and then when you go to the loo the day after, and you wipe and "it" is there :O Makes me very queasy.

I just find it kind of revolting, really. Is it wrong that I feel this way?

Its gotten to the stage where I only want to have sex when I'm ovulating, to avoid the nastiness, as much as possible. And I'm just praying and hoping that I get pregnant as soon as possible so that I'll have an "excuse" not to have sex.

This doesn't feel normal or right. Our relationship and our sex life has been really really good up til now.

Any ideas?

Daegerty

put down a few towels maybe?

Acoshla

Maybe try asking in the Trying to Conceive section? I'm sure some of the ladies in there would be able to advise on this.

But also, why do you say that once you're pregnant you'll have an excuse not to have sex? And could you possibly suggest using condoms the days you're not ovulating if ye just want to have sex and you don't want to have to worry about the messy aftermath? I know that is kind of at odds with trying to conceive a baby but it's better than not having sex at all.

Neyite

You can have sex without it getting a messy bed. Pantyliners!

have a pair of underwear, panty liners along with tissue/toilet paper and a couple of old cushions ready beside your bed before sex. Use old cushions you dont mind getting mess on, not the pillows for your head.

After sex, grab the toilet paper and put some folded between your legs as soon as he withdraws and put the cushions under your pelvis to elevate. Put pantyliner in undies and pop them on, without sitting up. The elevation will help with 2 things - getting semen nearer to the cervix - and stops it leaking out. You should ideally keep elevated for at least 20 mins, but some conception websites say an hour. After this time, you can go to the loo, and most of it should drip out as it has pooled near your cervix, rather than dripping out slowly over an extended time. At this stage, the 'good' stuff has travelled where it needs to go. A quick wipe with baby wipes to freshen up and you are ready for bed. The panty liners will keep you dry and contain any further mess during the night, and the next day wear another one to work, and pop spares in your handbag.

shellyboo

Stick a towel under your bum and go to the loo after sex. It is a bit odd that you find it repulsive (it's the most natural thing in the world, after all), but I guess you'll get used to it eventually.

The main thing is that you need to speak to your partner about this. Secretly witholding sex from him for any reason is going to eat away at your relationship -- not exactly what you want when you're planning to bring kids into the situation.

LegacyUser

Hate to rain on your parade but if you aren't married and things break down in the future(and I hope they don't for your sake) if you look for maintenance then you can be asked for proof of paternity....just a word of caution on the legal side because he hasn't made an legal commitment to you.
Best o'luck

Orion

Acoshla wrote: »

Maybe try asking in the Trying to Conceive section? I'm sure some of the ladies in there would be able to advise on this.

That's not exactly what TtC is about. Here or The Ladies Lounge is the place for this topic. If I saw this thread in TtC it'd be moved.

Morag

Lots of women have issues with the post coital goo when they have used condoms for most of the time have been having sex and then stopped.
It is an issue that some women who are trying to conceive can experience.

If you've always used condoms then the goo has been contained and the feel of it can be very off putting for some, as it can feel like you've been slimed.
The amount and consistency does change, it could be that your husbands body as it's finally getting to ejaculate inside you is making the most of it and the ammount can lessen over time.

The Goo is something I guess women don't talk about and it's something certainly which is never mentioned in romance books or in movies. Women just get up and toddle off after unprotected sex with out having to go an ungunk themselves.

You've been given some really good tips by Neyite, to maximise your chances of conceiving and to minimise the mess, cos the vagina is a cul de sac and what goes up eventually comes sliding back out.

I would suggest you talk to your partner about this, esp as this is such an issue for you and you don't want to be lying or with holding sex later on. Sex is a messy, sticky, silly activity if you are doing it right and all to often the fun of it can go out the window when you trying to start a family, and the stress won't help either of you.
Best of luck with it.

Miss Fluff

unreeggdd wrote: »

Its gotten to the stage where I only want to have sex when I'm ovulating, to avoid the nastiness, as much as possible. And I'm just praying and hoping that I get pregnant as soon as possible so that I'll have an "excuse" not to have sex.

Personally I think "the nastiness" you speak of is one of the most natural things in the world so it would seem that you have some genuine phobia about it if you're already talking about having an "excuse" not to have sex again. :eek: That's quite an unhealthy attitude OP as you'd be deceiving your husband and to suddenly go witholding sex the moment you concieve is not a good idea if you hope to have a healthy, open and honest relationship with your partner.

I think you need to nip this in the bud now and tell your partner honestly that you either you prefer sex with condoms or if you really can't bear for him to cum inside you then ask that he cum elsewhere - I'll leave that up to your own preferences

Suddenly withholding sex and not being honest with your partner about this would only damage what otherwise seems like a healthy and loving relationship so best you get this out in the open sooner rather than later.

Duckjob

Pebbleblue wrote: »

Hate to rain on your parade but if you aren't married and things break down in the future(and I hope they don't for your sake) if you look for maintenance then you can be asked for proof of paternity....just a word of caution on the legal side because he hasn't made an legal commitment to you.
Best o'luck

What on earth has that got to do with the OP's issue ?

Maple

Pebbleblue wrote: »

Hate to rain on your parade but if you aren't married and things break down in the future(and I hope they don't for your sake) if you look for maintenance then you can be asked for proof of paternity....just a word of caution on the legal side because he hasn't made an legal commitment to you.
Best o'luck

This has zero relevance to the topic the OP asked for advice on.

Duckjob wrote: »

What on earth has that got to do with the OP's issue ?

Going forward if you have an issue with a post, please report it.

Maple

28064212

Sharrow wrote: »

I would suggest you talk to your partner about this

+1 to this, can't believe it got to post 8 before anyone mentioned it.

How is your partner supposed to help you with this if he doesn't know there's a problem? Are you going try putting down towels and hope he doesn't notice? Say you've a head-ache when you don't want to have sex? Does that sound like a healthy approach?

I somehow doubt your partner has a problem with you being able to clean up afterwards, but again, he doesn't know there's a problem, so how could he possibly help?

barbiegirl

Nearly everyone finds it a bit icky, however I have discovvered, as I try to conceive, that putting a pillow under my bum afterwards, which is supposed to help with the baby making, also helps with the mess. Nobody likes waking up wet and uncomfortable but it is what it is, natural. Also a pair of panties with a panty liner helps to keep you feeling dry.
You need to deal with this or it will start to affect your relationship. Plus if you think the messiness is bad now, you really need to consider the getting pregnant and having kids bit as it's not a tidy process. :rolleyes:

Acoshla

Macros42 wrote: »

That's not exactly what TtC is about. Here or The Ladies Lounge is the place for this topic. If I saw this thread in TtC it'd be moved.

Sorry, I just meant as in the OP is TTC and the women there would obviously have experience with this and how to deal with it, wouldn't have thought it was too much of a stretch, percentage of women there having unprotected sex would be much higher than TLL.