True Friends

LegacyUser

Who are your true friends? Why? Have they ever done anything to test the friendship?

Orla K

I've been thinking about friendships for the past while. I've been seeing and hearing alot about friends falling out when marriages and babies happen. I've also noticed it doesn't happens to guys or at least not in the same way.

I do have some(3/4?) 'true' friends, can't really call them true friends they're just friends that understand me and don't get annoyed/make me feel crap when I do/say something stupid/insane.

I would never test a friendship, life does that naturally and has done it too, I've a few less friends now but I'm getting ok with the thought of not hanging around them again.

I also have to say I'm meeting up with two friends later, I haven't seen in months one's about to pop with a baby and I can't wait

My friends pretty much all are "true friends", and I don't do anything to "test" them

Asphyxia

Who are your true friends?
I have about 4 close friends that I can say anything to.. One is a sister we were always close growing up being only 1 year and a month a part, we also were in the same class and basically did everything together up until the age of 13 but we are really close. My boyfriend is another one who I can pretty much say anything to.. I trust him and when I talk to him I feel amazing afterwards. The others are two friends I grew up with, we are very close and always confided in eachother.

Why?
I can talk to them about everything and anything, I'm not afraid of saying what's in my head to them and we get along so well together

Have they ever done anything to test the friendship?
No! What's the point of testing a friendship wouldn't that show that you don't have much faith in them or trust?

Azureus

I have about 5 'true' friends ; people who I know would ALWAYS be there for me and who I can say anything to, even if its about them pissing me off or whatever.
Friendship is a funny one though because I have multiple circles of friends and one or two people I really trust in each of these circles, the rest are just aquaintances even if they are particularly good ones.

I have never tested them intentionally, but general 'life' stuff has come up that could have put a strain on certain friendships, but due to being completely open and no bullsh!t, we have come through all of it with very little tension.

Also, I'd like to add that a few of my friends have suprised me lately-in the best way possible. Sometimes the people you can rely on most are the people you wouldnt neccesarily expect.

borderlinemeath

I have 5 friends that I would trust with every aspect of my life.

1 - My partner

2 - My niece

3/4 My two "girlies" we have all been best friends since we were teenagers. They have since married and had kids which has not so much "tested" the relationship - moreso it makes them treasure the time we do get together as it's more infrequent.

5 A work colleague from 18 years ago, we became friends and stayed that way. We bend each others ears with problems because we both give straight advice to each other. She was the only one of my friends to tell met that my last partner wasn't the right one for me. I didn't judge her for it - and when we broke up she was just there for me, not saying "I told you so".

Blush_01

I second the poster who said life tests friendships enough without "testing" a friendship.

If you don't trust someone, then they're obviously not as close a friend as you'd like to think. The fact that you'd choose to test a friendship says enough about that relationship.

baby and crumble

To be fair, the OP said have THEY ever done anything to test the friendship, presumably that means somethign that was hard for you to get past, or that shook your idea that they were friends?

I have a few really great friends, mostly people I went to school with. Sadly they're pretty much all left the country because of the recession, so I'm faced now with making new friends... that's hard.

Storminateacup

1 true friend, that has stood by me when nobody else did. Even when I was a dispicable person, he had my back.

I have other friends, close friends, but I feel I find it hard to trust people. My other "best friend", I've been friends with her since I was 11 years old, but as sad as it is, I wouldn't say shes a true friend. We get on great, we have a laugh, but at the end of the day, its always about her. Nobody else matters.

JillyQ

Hi I found out who my true friends were a couple of months ago. Out of five who I thought were going to be there for me one turned his back on me literally and the other four were incredibly strong for me and helped me get through an extremely difficult and stressfull time.

LegacyUser

Sorry, should have been clearer, I didn't mean have they ever "tested" the friendship to be taken literally! I meant, have they ever done anything that you've managed to get past.

beks101

I've been thinking a lot about friendship since moving abroad. I've been a bit surprised at some of the friendships I had back home that have been basically abandoned as a result of the massive distance between us. I can't blame any one of those people in particular, as contact is a two-way street, but it's been interesting all the same.

I effectively lost my best friend in the world over trivial, and in hindsight, not so trivial matters, about five months ago. I'd grown up with the girl, we have a wealth of shared experiences, shared people, shared places, and she saw me through some tough times as a teenager/early adult. She came to visit as my best friend and left as a virtual stranger. I wonder, quite often actually, whether or not it's a friendship worth salvaging, as I know how short life is and the underlying thought I have is...if something happened in the morning, would not reaching out to her be my biggest regret?

Ultimately though for me, true friendship is about loyalty and honesty. Those two traits are what have separated my few close friends from mere acquaintances and fair-weather buddies I've had over the years. I think you can count your true friends on one hand, and if you're very lucky, you have a handful.

Maldjd23

Tis hard to really know true friends..A group of us have been mates since junior infants...We are pushing 30 now...2 of these so called "friends" in the last 3 years have totally betrayed me..So much so i haven't spoken to them since and never will, heartbreaking that it is...The way i see it is nearly everyone has the capability to stab you in the back..Until someone truly proves themselves a friend they have the same capability my so called "friends" had....Sad i know...

Aoifey!

I would class my true friends as those that I can tell anything to without fear of being judged or seen differently, those who I know will listen if I need it, and those who would not be afraid to come to me for help.

I have many good friends who would not fit into the true friends category. I would say I only have about 3 or 4 true friends, and that's all I need.

LadyMayBelle

My true friends are
1) my partner. We were friends for years before getting together, so in total known each other for 11 years at this stage.

2) my cousin. Really only became good friends in our early twenties due to family circumstances and geography!

3) I have one friend who I have known since I was 5; we went to the same schools and uni the whole way up and while at times we weren't massively close, we always ended up together for trips abroad etc..she moved to the UK five years ago, and I followed to a different part last year, and our friendship has def improved, and it's just brilliant having shared memories from way back when!

4) I have two other friends i met in my teens, one through Scouts and the other through Guides, we may only see each other once or twice a year but when we meet it's like no time has passed at all! I value those friendships alot even if we don't see each other.

5) Another friend I met via work and we just clicked; didn't realise how lucky I am really to have her till I started typing and thinking...she's a good mate!

mariebeth

I have a few really good friends, 3 of them I've been friends with since school, two others I became friends with in college, and another couple that I met through friends or randomly. I would class them as true friends or great friends, purely because we just get each other. No matter how much time goes between meeting up, we always seem to pick up the conversation as if we saw each other yesterday. That's how I know that they're true lifelong friends.

mollybird

i would say i have 3 really true friends.

1. being my very best friend. we met on our first day in secondary and have not been seperated since. she has seen me at my very very worst and ive seen her at her very best. she understands me explicatly and never once has judged me and even as we have grown up and grown apart in life somewhat we have always been able to pick up just where we left off. she is what i call my "true soulmate".

2. my partner. he has always been supportive in the tough life i have led since we met. going back to college to get a degree and coming out of it and not beng able to find work in my field. we have never had any secrets and i know i can tell him anything.

3. is a recent friend i have met. she is a remarkable person whom i'm blessed to call my friend. seems we have alot in common regarding our mothers and i think it is what brought us that bit more closer. i "tested" our friendship alot last year and the year before and she has been able to look past it and get back to where we were before. i know i don't deserve her friendship and will always be blessed to have her in my life. :)

Elphaba

It's so nice to hear of people still being friends with their childhood pals. My best friend is my partner and although I absolutely love him to bits I really miss having a best girl friend. Kinda drifted apart from people over the years. I'm still undecided as to the reason, whether I changed, they changed, circumstances changed. I think it's the 3rd one. I'm 32 now and would LOVE to have a group of good friends. Don't get me wrong, I do have acquanitances but that's as far as I ever seem to get these days So sweet to hear of people who have been friends for as long as they can remember tho

chickenbutt

I read this the other day and thought it was interesting... From the article:

“Old friends” and “true friends” are not necessarily identical. Old friends have stood the test of time; true friends are timeless. True friends may have been in your life since your childhood or they may have shown up only yesterday, but it’s from the quality of the heart that you know them, not the number of years you’ve logged together.

Abi

There is one friend, who I've known for years who has 'weathered' our friendship somewhat. I adore her, and would do anything for her, and she for I. But here lies the problem, it's all one-sided. Her problems with her husband have gone back to the year dot, and despite my advice and the effort I've gone to so she knows all of her options and legal rights -she's still living in the same house as him.

Trust me when I say, she really needs to be away from this man, and I'd never advise anyone to leave their spouse unless I was deeply concerned for their welfare. It's put quite a strain on our friendship, because it's hard for me to watch my friend going through absolute hell, only for her to let it all slide until it happens all over again. It's extremely difficult for me to listen to any more of the shit that goes on between them, when I feel so angry that she hasn't done anything about it.

Rubberlegs

I had one great friend throughout school, and into my 20s, we had our kids at the same time. Even though we live only a drive away from each other, we've all but lost contact. I used to feel let down when she told me she'd come to mine, and then not show up, no call, no excuse . Especially as my kids would be disappointed when this happened. Whereas if I said I'd call to her, I'd call. Think it's a pity to lose a friendship with someone you've known that long.
Another friend, who I had for ten years, tested the friendship, to the point I fell out with her and let the friendship go. To cut a long story short, she was bitching and spreading rumours about my daughter, about something both our daughters were doing, and repeatedly denying it to my face.
Another friend, I have cooled it with recently. Having known her for 15 years, she wasn't there for me recently, at a difficult time in my life. I'm still unsure about how to handle it, and for the past 5 months have basically avoided contact, which I hate, as it's not my style. Think I'm still shocked and disappointed.
My best friend is 6yrs younger than me, has no children, and still lives at home. Despite her life being as different from mine as possible, we get on great, can talk about anything, and have the best laughs. She is always there for me, she is the most caring, lovely person:D
I'm great pals with my younger, and only, sister too.
Sometimes though I do find myself wishing I had more friends. To be friends with another Mam. To be able to moan about the kids, and confide in another Mam, and not have them gloating over my problems , as I have experienced in the past. Sadly, I have found some women positively delight in others misfortunes:(. I have never understood this , as I always maintain you never know what your own "little darlings" will get up to next!!

quickbeam

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Elphaba

quickbeam wrote: »

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(((((Hug)))) Join the club! That's why I love Boards:D

Latchy

Well there are ' friends ' and there are friends and I have a few of both :pac:
The person whom I would describe as a real true friend is somebody I first met about 18 years ago who was there for me when I needed a real friend ( not the ''' ahh ...sure it'll be grand '' type ) . Someone whom I spent a lot of time with over those years in different places and occassions and got to know better , who made me think about stuff in a different light .We have probably tested each others patience a lot of that time as well to ...just as real friends sometimes do but who'll also contact , confide in and surprise me when I least expect it .