I'm creating my own country

Fukuyama

My departure date is not set, but here is the plan.

Gather a small boat, stores of food and fuel, clothes, a satalite phone, a rifle and one mortar bomb.

I will travel north from Galway harbour until I reach Rockall, a disputed rock sticking out of the sea.

Upon my approach I will radio all nearby vessels with instructions to send a rescue team if they don't hear from me again.

I will land and right away plant my mortar bomb on the sourthern side of the island. I will remotely detonate it from the other. The blast hole will become my living quarters.

Using my satellite phone I shall radio the UN and declare a state of war against Iceland, the UK, Denmark and my previous country, by which time I will have relinquished citizenship, Ireland.

I will scubadive, locate and bring ashore the two unexploded ww2 era mines which surround the island. These will act as my secondary defence.

The primary being my AK47 airsoft rifle. I imagine my defence to go a little something like this. Upon the enemy reaching the shoreline and displaying superhuman resilience to my barrage of pellets, the island will be blown to kingdom come.

However, I expect little or no military reaction.

Life on the Holy Empire of Deanianity will be sweet. The country will be the most solvent in the world with debt of 0% GDP and national reserves of 100% GDP - One Deano.

A cannabis plant, named Mary, will be grown inside a small greenhouse structure on the north eastern side of the rock. Potatoes and cabbage will also be grown.

The national dish will be sea gull shot by airsoft rifle, served with a side of spuds and cabbage.

To combat winds, I will fashion a beehive shelter using rocks I will chisel away from the north face of the island.

I will inhabit the southern face of the island. I will poop off the edge of the island. Should I fall in I will undoubtedly perish.

I will also write my memoirs. The satellite phone will be used to access m.boards.ie.

Yours,
Holy Emperor of the Holy Empire of Deanianity.

karma_

You should call it Petoria.

cosmicfart

Never never land, I think he is already there

stupidusername

sounds great (tl;dr :pac:)

can I be queen?

Superbus

You could just invade Liechtenstein, they won't put up a fight.

Fukuyama

stupidusername wrote: »

sounds great (tl;dr :pac:)

can I be queen?

You may be my Empress. You will pleasure me in all conceivable ways. I should also mention the wearing of any clothes within the international boundaries of the Holy Empire of Deanianity is not allowed. Unless it gets chilly.

You will also be my minister of fisheries - your daily target is two fish big enough to satisfy the modest hunger of the Emperor.

EverEvolving

I hope you find it's full of unobtainium

mattjack

I, WOULD LIKE TO LOOK AFTER THE GARDENS... im shouting over the noise

red menace

You will be sadly missed from reality

stupidusername

Dean0088 wrote: »

You may be my Empress. You will pleasure me in all conceivable ways. I should also mention the wearing of any clothes within the international boundaries of the Holy Empire of Deanianity is not allowed. Unless it gets chilly.

You will also be my minister of fisheries - your daily target is two fish big enough to satisfy the modest hunger of the Emperor.

ok i'm alright with the no clothes part, as long as it's a warm country. but... i'm not ok with the children part...

could do the fishing too. though don't expect much

KeithAFC

Will this country have churches?

Fukuyama

stupidusername wrote: »

ok i'm alright with the no clothes part, as long as it's a warm country. but... i'm not ok with the children part...

could do the fishing too. though don't expect much

DO you own a boat by any chance?

IvySlayer

I call Vice President!

FlutterinBantam

How will we get your social welfare to you?

How do you intend to anchor yourself to it in winter?

rednik

Who will look after the place when you have to attend the UN in New York?

thebaldsoprano

Interestingly, pretty much the same thing has already been done. In 1967, a retired English major took over an abandoned offshore outpost and declared the Principality of Sealand. There's now a data centre on it. You can read about it here.

stupidusername

Dean0088 wrote: »

DO you own a boat by any chance?

I DO not i'm afraid. I'm sure if i showed some leg I could acquire one.

Wolfe Tone

Hopefully the seagulls wont rise and pluck your eyes!

cosanostra

Lets hope you get there before these 2 http://www.tribune.ie/news/home-news/article/2010/jul/04/disputed-north-atlantic-outpost-to-fall-to-britain/

LimeTime

Can I join?

I understand you don't know me and whatever but I DO have a (very small) boat. I don't mind starting off as a slave and working my way up to assistant to the Regional Manager.

mattjack

stupidusername wrote: »

I DO not i'm afraid. I'm sure if i showed some leg I could acquire one.

leg for boat...? what would ya get for an arse

ScumLord

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

How will we get your social welfare to you?

Don't worry, we'll find a way. A very expensive way no doubt.

stupidusername

mattjack wrote: »

leg for boat...? what would ya get for an arse

for my arse :eek: I'd get the whole country

kfallon

Dean0088 wrote: »

My departure date is not set, but here is the plan.

Gather a small boat, stores of food and fuel, clothes, a satalite phone, a rifle and one mortar bomb.

I will travel north from Galway harbour until I reach Rockall, a disputed rock sticking out of the sea.

Upon my approach I will radio all nearby vessels with instructions to send a rescue team if they don't hear from me again.

I will land and right away plant my mortar bomb on the sourthern side of the island. I will remotely detonate it from the other. The blast hole will become my living quarters.

Using my satellite phone I shall radio the UN and declare a state of war against Iceland, the UK, Denmark and my previous country, by which time I will have relinquished citizenship, Ireland.

I will scubadive, locate and bring ashore the two unexploded ww2 era mines which surround the island. These will act as my secondary defence.

The primary being my AK47 airsoft rifle. I imagine my defence to go a little something like this. Upon the enemy reaching the shoreline and displaying superhuman resilience to my barrage of pellets, the island will be blown to kingdom come.

However, I expect little or no military reaction.

Life on the Holy Empire of Deanianity will be sweet. The country will be the most solvent in the world with debt of 0% GDP and national reserves of 100% GDP - One Deano.

A cannabis plant, named Mary, will be grown inside a small greenhouse structure on the north eastern side of the rock. Potatoes and cabbage will also be grown.

The national dish will be sea gull shot by airsoft rifle, served with a side of spuds and cabbage.

To combat winds, I will fashion a beehive shelter using rocks I will chisel away from the north face of the island.

I will inhabit the southern face of the island. I will poop off the edge of the island. Should I fall in I will undoubtedly perish.

I will also write my memoirs. The satellite phone will be used to access m.boards.ie.

Yours,
Holy Emperor of the Holy Empire of Deanianity.

Will you be eligible for the Eurovision? :pac:

mattjack

you can stick your country...I,m moving to the republic of arse

smk89

You've been playing too much minecraft

foxinsox

Most Honourable Holy Emperor of the Holy Empire of Deanianity,

I wish to point out that your plan although most excellent seems to have one miniscule but relevant flaw - surely using a satellite phone to browse the internet would not be practical due to the costs involved? As an international economist and experienced financier I would predict that your newly found country would be bankrupt within a minimum of 24 hours usage of above mentioned satellite phone.

I therefore suggest that you rely on communicating via carrier seagull. I wish you all the best with your endeavour to populate your new country.

Respectfully yours,



Fox I. Nsox
MBA NBA Msc Phd WWF GAA etc..

themadchef

Quiet day then?

Seloth

Can I be chief scientist and weapons maker!I can make bombs from Lynx cans and the spaceprograme involving club orange bottles.

Fukuyama

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

How will we get your social welfare to you?

I'm not entitled to social welfare as I'm fully self-employed and paying taxes as a result.

You arrogant alter boy.

Xivilai

thebaldsoprano wrote: »

Interestingly, pretty much the same thing has already been done. In 1967, a retired English major took over an abandoned offshore outpost and declared the Principality of Sealand. There's now a data centre on it. You can read about it here.

Its a pretty crappy looking Island I have to say

Fukuyama

Xivilai wrote: »

Its a pretty crappy looking Island I have to say

YOU TAKE THAT BACK!! :mad:

She's a fine islet ( a small island for you information!!!) and a sturdy one too!

She'll serve me well and is more than large enough to host state banquets, sporting events and national parades. In fact, the Empire will be entering the 2018 World Cup.

Stay off my rock! :mad:

orourkeda

Superbus wrote: »

You could just invade Liechtenstein, they won't put up a fight.

Or France

stupidusername

Don't mind that one.he's just jealous.
King Dean we shall build the greatest empire known to the world and all will be so envious of our wealth,the women (and men for me) and our ultimate brilliance they will be pleading to be able to join us.
But we shant let them (unless they bring cake,lots of delicious cake)

Fukuyama

Ladys and gentlemen, the official plan for the future Holy Empire of Deanianity has been drawn up.

Feedback and improvements much appreciated.

Without further adu... The Holy Empire of Deanianity >>

landsleaving

Oh great, you haven't even gotten there yet and you already have capital punishment. Typical tyrannical dictator.

Fukuyama

landsleaving wrote: »

Oh great, you haven't even gotten there yet and you already have capital punishment. Typical tyrannical dictator.

The Holy Empire of Deanianity is a peaceful empire. We do not advocate violence.

However, in special cases, annoying people must be silenced by all means necessary for fear of annoying the habitants of the Empire.

*puts Landsleaving on visitors blacklist*

I invite everyone in this thread for the official national day of conquering celebration which will take place on a future date to be advised of. Bring food and bog roll. This is of course barring those on the blacklist and those who the Emperor (and the minister of fisheries, StupidUserName) has made it clear to they are not welcome. Illegal entering of the Empire's waters (12 nautical miles) will be greeted with sustained gun fire.

Yours,
The Emperor of the Holy Empire of Deanianity.

Glenster

Dean0088 wrote: »

Holy Emperor of the Holy Empire of Deanianity.

Fart

Who's going to clean the massive amounts of bird sh!te from the top of the Rock?



I'm sure you can use it as face cream or something.

landsleaving

Dean0088 wrote: »

The Holy Empire of Deanianity is a peaceful empire. We do not advocate violence.

However, in special cases, annoying people must be silenced by all means necessary for fear of annoying the habitants of the Empire.

Oh sure, that's how it starts, but once you kill one 'annoyance', thousands follow.

Next thing you know you're in exile in Libya.

Blacklist me if you must, but someday you'll look back on this and think 'If only I'd listened to Lands, if only I'd made him my advisor and not hanged flutt, then I wouldn't be in front of this UN court of human rights.'

Fukuyama

landsleaving wrote: »

Oh sure, that's how it starts, but once you kill one 'annoyance', thousands follow.

Next thing you know you're in exile in Libya.

Blacklist me if you must, but someday you'll look back on this and think 'If only I'd listened to Lands, if only I'd made him my advisor and not hanged flutt, then I wouldn't be in front of this UN court of human rights.'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsf8LnThk5Y

Daegerty

Dean0088 wrote: »

The satellite phone will be used to access m.boards.ie.

I suppose your best bet would be the Thuraya Eco SIM over there.

Fart

National Anthem?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekCghMlGn0k

Fukuyama

Fart wrote: »

National Anthem?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ekCghMlGn0k

No. That song advocates Irish ownership of The Holy Empire of Deanianity. As the Empire will be in a constant state of war with Iceland, Denmark, the UK and Ireland, I see your choice of anthem as ill fitting.

This shall be the national anthem. It shall be sung in harmony by all present inhabitants of the Empire while the flag is both hoisted and lowered. Will shall swing our flaggins of ale in a burly fashion while we sing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SqSQMF6Ats0

Fukuyama

This song shall be blasted out while I screw StupidUserName up in the sentry box.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e34fG1DJQnI

Owen

This reminds me of the film made in the UK where a guy claimed a small island on a river and tried to make it his own country.

stupidusername

Dean0088 wrote: »

This song shall be blasted out while I screw StupidUserName up in the sentry box.

:eek:

Fukuyama

stupidusername wrote: »

:eek:

You'll be making that face all night

mattjack

stupidusername wrote: »

:eek:

stupidusername....and I thought you were a nice girl......look at ya up in the sentry box

FlutterinBantam

Dean0088 wrote: »

I'm not entitled to social welfare as I'm fully self-employed and paying taxes as a result.

You arrogant alter boy.

So..it's altar by the way'.

Fully self employed?


As opposed to half self employed.?

Why would you abandon your "fully self employed status" to a cold grey craggy rock in the North Atlantic?


strange decision pal