I would like to say that confidence is more important than good looks

CorkMan

I am a very good looking fella myself. But for years I was put down, had a speech impedement. I had low self-esteem and was thinking "why would girls want me, I am useless". Then looking at so called good looking guys and how they had women.

But since my confidence has increased I look in the mirror and see I am in fact good looking. It is all on the inside, or the more specific term or self-image. You could be "ugly" as I "was" and have women hanging off ya. You could be handsome and have no women coming near ya. The confidence is the sole factor, looks are only important if ya believe in them, you give the power to your "looks". I would go so far to say there are no such thing as looks, definitely not from behind a persons eyes. When you look into the mirror or at a photo it is your mind, your beliefs that are are perceiving you.

Whether you are George Clooney with 18 inch arms and massive pecs, or an morbidly obese, completely bald fella with 5 teeth. When people look out from their eyes they see the exact same thing, whoever you are. Confidence is more than "looks", and increasing your confidence is the way to go.

AnonymousPrime

What are you selling again?

CorkMan

I am selling nothing, I am not an author or anything. I am just giving out advice.

charlemont

I agree..

EverEvolving

Pics or GTFO .. you know the score...

Only ugly people say that confidence is more important than looks :pac: but I do get what you mean though.

whiteonion

What kind of woman would want a morbidly obese man with no front teeth? Seriously what woman would like a man like that? I don't care how "confident" he is, unless he is rich he'll get nothing.

Nolanger

This belief is why there are so many over-confident but ugly Irish women!

strokemyclover

Dan Akroyd agrees with you OP!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IsRM2FMEjJA

MagicSean

I would like to buy some of your handsome cream.

Dwellingdweller

it's true past a certain point..if you're really bad looking no amount of confidence is gona help you very much. however, if you're average looking confidence'll really make you more desirable. but there is a threshold.

OutlawPete

You say you lacked confidence and now realise that you are good looking. Well, that's great and all and well done on achieving that level of self improvment but what if you weren't good looking? That attitude may have helped but no way would it get you to where 'good looks' plus 'confidence has, on it's own.

Confidence only goes so far, otherwise you're just writing cheuqes your ass can't cash.

dvpower

OutlawPete wrote: »

Confidence only goes so far, otherwise you're just writing cheuqes your ass can't cash.

If you have an ass that can cash cheques, you don't need either confidence or good looks.

joshrogan

Confidence and goodlooks usually go hand in hand in most cases.

Oranage2

defo confidence will get you through life easily as generally people arent that confidence.

TeddyTedson

I hope to retire a very confidant 80 year old (that'll be the age by then) and hang around the playboy mansion.
If not I'll just get hookers.

Brenireland

Have to say I agree,I myself worked so hard over the last few years to keep myself in shape and ensuring my six pack remained a six pack,and like-wise I look after my guns and enjoy the fact that sometimes while in a gym I order my Personal Trainer to put on some more weights only for him to say "Their are no more weights!",which gives me a buzz.

Sadly Since my work which was in the construction industry has dried up so has my confidence,which is hurtful.

dvpower

TeddyTedson wrote: »

I hope to retire a very confidant 80 year old (that'll be the age by then) and hang around the playboy mansion.
If not I'll just get hookers.

Silvio?

Hank_Jones

Sometimes having confidence isn't enough though.

If someone's from Cork like.

Killer Wench

The OP had me weeping like a little girl.

epgc3fyqirnbsx

Confidence is a huge factor and is a vital part of the package.
This also explains why so many people, myself included, often need dutch courage

Dudess

Nolanger wrote: »

This belief is why there are so many over-confident but ugly Irish women!

Yeah... And an equal amount of such Irish men I'm sure. Just so nobody might make the mistake it's gender-specific - can't see why women would have the monopoly like.

freeze4real

confidence only is enough there's a chap i know he isn't the best looking guy i know i wouldn't even call say he's good looking but he's confidence is just too much.

On his 18th birthday he hooked up with over 18 girls in a club on that night. i lost count at 18 girls.

confidence is needed 70% then a bit of good looks then charm.

Terry

CorkMan wrote: »

I am a very good looking fella myself. But for years I was put down, had a speech impedement. I had low self-esteem and was thinking "why would girls want me, I am useless". Then looking at so called good looking guys and how they had women.

But since my confidence has increased I look in the mirror and see I am in fact good looking. It is all on the inside, or the more specific term or self-image. You could be "ugly" as I "was" and have women hanging off ya. You could be handsome and have no women coming near ya. The confidence is the sole factor, looks are only important if ya believe in them, you give the power to your "looks". I would go so far to say there are no such thing as looks, definitely not from behind a persons eyes. When you look into the mirror or at a photo it is your mind, your beliefs that are are perceiving you.

Whether you are George Clooney with 18 inch arms and massive pecs, or an morbidly obese, completely bald fella with 5 teeth. When people look out from their eyes they see the exact same thing, whoever you are. Confidence is more than "looks", and increasing your confidence is the way to go.

I'm morbidly obese, completely bald and only have 4 teeth.
However, I've no confidence.
Do you have any tips?

Kevin Duffy

I head out full of confidence that tonight will be the night, then the good looking lads turn up, mop up all the women and I might as well stick me confidence up me hole.

EverEvolving

Terry wrote: »

I'm morbidly obese, completely bald and only have 4 teeth.
However, I've no confidence.
Do you have any tips?

Go on a diet, see a hairdresser/wig maker and go to the dentist.

Dwellingdweller

EverEvolving wrote: »

Go on a diet, see a hairdresser/wig maker and go to the dentist.

And exercise

Magic Eight Ball

I wish I had the confidence to post bull**** threads like this.

HenryChinaski

I had literally zero self-confidence through my teens and into my early 20s. Then when I was about 21 I lost a lot of weight and got quite fit and my overall self-confidence started to improve but I was still pretty shocking around women. Then around 23 I found myself smoking a lot of weed and I put on the weight again, and I hit a serious depression. While I hid it very well from my friends I used to feel horrible about myself. I thought I was literally the ugliest thing I'd ever seen, I used hate myself. For the record I wasn't even that overweight, about 95 kilos was the heaviest I got to. Anyway I had no confidence in myself and was a wreck whenever I had to talk to girls.

Then a couple of years ago I was at the point where I had to change my life so I sold off the few valuable assets I had, got a bit of a bank loan, and got a one way ticket to Bangkok. 30 months and 17 countries later I'm still going, and I think I'm one of the most confident people I know. So much so that I'd say it's probably one of the first things people notice about me. I've still got a bit of a mug, and while it's early days, I've recently been trying to shed the weight again but I'll talk the arse off any bird. I'm a hound for the women. I'd even say that there's very little out there that I enjoy more than talking sh*t to women. And with numbers in the high 20s over since I left home, I think I'm doing alright. So yes, confidence will get you everywhere.

Wolflikeme

whiteonion wrote: »

What kind of woman would want a morbidly obese man with no front teeth? Seriously what woman would like a man like that? I don't care how "confident" he is, unless he is rich he'll get nothing.

And if he's confident he's an idiot. Someone like that is too stupid to know better. So he's obese, bald, no front teeth and stupid, but hey, at least he has blind confidence.

holystungun9

Kevin Duffy wrote: »

I head out full of confidence that tonight will be the night, then the good looking lads turn up, mop up all the women and I might as well stick me confidence up me hole.

Yes, self sex is a poor consolation.

My views on confidence..
It's hugely important but only goes so far.
I think you get it when you notice an improvement in yourself or if you through a good faze with the clunge.
Ireland isn't the best place for gaining confidence. Can't imagine a harsher, more condescending and more fickle race of women existing anywhere else in the world.

Pauleta

Im very confident in my boyish innoffensive good looks but as a personality im confident of who i am but i appreciate that my interests of relentlesly watching sport on tv and getting hammered with the lads isnt going to enamor me with the opposite sex. Im also unemployed and living with mammy and daddy so i dont even bother :pac: but i still lead a very happy life :cool:

jonsnow

Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as...

Pauleta

jonsnow wrote: »

Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as...

Parklife

PandyAndy

Parklife.

Edit: Damn you, Pauleta

Scanlas The 2nd

Deleted User wrote: »

My views on confidence..
It's hugely important but only goes so far.
I think you get it when you notice an improvement in yourself or if you through a good faze with the clunge.
Ireland isn't the best place for gaining confidence. Can't imagine a harsher, more condescending and more fickle race of women existing anywhere else in the world.

You are talking about external validation not confidence. If you are confident it does not matter whether everyone on the planet dislikes you. You still feel at ease and relaxed in social settings.

I don't think people realise how confident you can be therefore don't realise the effect confidence can give you. When you can walk up and chat up a girl who is currently kissing another guy and be relaxed you won't have much trouble attracting women providing resemble a human and have a base level of social skills.

A good way of getting confidence would be to give yourself embarrasing task to do and do it anyway such walking up to a group of people and giving your best impression of an animal of some sort, and not letting know you are really a normal person. The type of tasks that would have you shaking after you do it. That causes personal growth and transforms you for the better.

Big Nasty

it's not so much confidence but more self belief. Believe in who you are and it will get you anywhere.

Mammanabammana

MCMLXXV wrote: »

it's not so much confidence but more self belief. Believe in who you are and it will get you anywhere.

This is horsesh1t. You can have all the self belief and confidence you like but if you want to be attractive and don't have the looks, it doesn't matter a hang. Confidence and self belief are very good personality traits to have but they ain't gonna make somebody want to get with you the way they do when they look at somebody whose mere physical appearance turns them on.

The simple fact is that looks win hands down every time, and anybody who says otherwise is either wrong or lying. I'm extremely confident but I also know for a fact that I'm not good looking (this is not a confidence thing, it's a simple statement of fact). Therefore women aren't interested in me. It's not rocket science. If women were attracted by confidence, I'd have a path beaten to my door.

Big Nasty

Mammanabammana wrote: »

This is horsesh1t. You can have all the self belief and confidence you like but if you want to be attractive and don't have the looks, it doesn't matter a hang. Confidence and self belief are very good personality traits to have but they ain't gonna make somebody want to get with you the way they do when they look at somebody whose mere physical appearance turns them on.

The simple fact is that looks win hands down every time, and anybody who says otherwise is either wrong or lying. I'm extremely confident but I also know for a fact that I'm not good looking (this is not a confidence thing, it's a simple statement of fact). Therefore women aren't interested in me. It's not rocket science. If women were attracted by confidence, I'd have a path beaten to my door.

You may be confident but it is evident from your post that you don't believe in yourself.

We've all seen bad looking blokes with fine birds and vice versa.

Hookah

Mammanabammana wrote: »

I'm extremely confident but I also know for a fact that I'm not good looking (this is not a confidence thing, it's a simple statement of fact). Therefore women aren't interested in me. It's not rocket science. If women were attracted by confidence, I'd have a path beaten to my door.

That's a very self-limiting belief system you have there.

orourkeda

CorkMan wrote: »

I am a very good looking fella myself. But for years I was put down, had a speech impedement. I had low self-esteem and was thinking "why would girls want me, I am useless". Then looking at so called good looking guys and how they had women.

But since my confidence has increased I look in the mirror and see I am in fact good looking. It is all on the inside, or the more specific term or self-image. You could be "ugly" as I "was" and have women hanging off ya. You could be handsome and have no women coming near ya. The confidence is the sole factor, looks are only important if ya believe in them, you give the power to your "looks". I would go so far to say there are no such thing as looks, definitely not from behind a persons eyes. When you look into the mirror or at a photo it is your mind, your beliefs that are are perceiving you.

Whether you are George Clooney with 18 inch arms and massive pecs, or an morbidly obese, completely bald fella with 5 teeth. When people look out from their eyes they see the exact same thing, whoever you are. Confidence is more than "looks", and increasing your confidence is the way to go.

Cork people dont normally hold this high an opinion of themselves do they?

RichieC

Well I've a face like a bag of Legos but I act like a cocky twat and I don't get any tail

Mammanabammana

MCMLXXV wrote: »

You may be confident but it is evident from your post that you don't believe in yourself.

We've all seen bad looking blokes with fine birds and vice versa.

It would make your argument valid if that was the case but that's not the case - in fact, I'd even be asking you how I could increase my confidence or self belief if I thought it was as simple as that to become attractive to women. But it's a simple statement of fact; I'm not good looking, and no amount of confidence or self belief will change that. I have so much self belief that I am actually constantly bewildered by the fact that not one woman has shown any interest in me for so long. It just doesn't make sense to me. That's not meant to sound cocky, it's just the way it is. By simple logic, there is absolutely no reason why women aren't interested in me apart from my looks.

xoxyx

Scanlas The 2nd wrote: »

A good way of getting confidence would be to give yourself embarrasing task to do and do it anyway such walking up to a group of people and giving your best impression of an animal of some sort, and not letting know you are really a normal person. The type of tasks that would have you shaking after you do it. That causes personal growth and transforms you for the better.

I wouldn't do this for fear of having 28 shades of shit knocked out of me. Nothing to do with confidence!

Earthhorse

It is true that there's a limit to how much confidence can do you for you if you're ugly. However this limit can be overcome by having millions and millions of dollars.

Mammanabammana

Hookah wrote: »

That's a very self-limiting belief system you have there.

No it's not. It's accepting the facts as they are. I have blue eyes. If I wanted brown eyes, I could believe in myself as much as possible and be as confident as possible in the hope that my eyes would turn brown, I could even delude myself into believing they WERE brown - but they would be blue and stay blue. Simple fact. The same with my looks. People always seem to assume that people who are unattractive are simply unattractive because they see themselves that way - but the fact is that, in my case anyway, unattractive people are mainly unattractive because they are unattractive! My belief system is not limiting, it is realistic, not self delusional.

Earthhorse

Earthhorse wrote: »

It is true that there's a limit to how much confidence can do you for you if you're ugly. However this limit can be overcome by having millions and millions of dollars.

Or a bottle of chloroform.

Hookah

Mammanabammana wrote: »

No it's not. It's accepting the facts as they are. I have blue eyes. If I wanted brown eyes, I could believe in myself as much as possible and be as confident as possible in the hope that my eyes would turn brown, I could even delude myself into believing they WERE brown - but they would be blue and stay blue. Simple fact. The same with my looks. People always seem to assume that people who are unattractive are simply unattractive because they see themselves that way - but the fact is that, in my case anyway, unattractive people are mainly unattractive because they are unattractive!

Attractive and good looking are two different things entirely.

My belief system is not limiting, it is realistic, not self delusional.

"...I'm not good looking...therefore women aren't interested in me."

That seems to be part of your belief system, and as long as you keep believing that, that's probably how life's going to be.

Mammanabammana

Hookah wrote: »

Attractive and good looking are two different things entirely.



"...I'm not good looking...therefore women aren't interested in me."

That seems to be part of your belief system, and as long as you keep believing that, that's probably how life's going to be.

I was using the word attractive just to avoid repeating the phrase good looking all the time but for the sake of clarity I'll stick with good looking.

Belief is a perception; what I'm doing is stating a fact. I'm not good looking - it's not that I don't believe I'm good looking, it's that I'm not, fact. Next time you're out, pick out somebody who is in no way whatsoever good looking. Can you honestly say that that person would magically be good looking just by simply believing that they were? I tried believing I was but constantly having nobody agree with me was quite the reality check.

Big Nasty

Mammanabammana wrote: »

I was using the word attractive just to avoid repeating the phrase good looking all the time but for the sake of clarity I'll stick with good looking.

Belief is a perception; what I'm doing is stating a fact. I'm not good looking - it's not that I don't believe I'm good looking, it's that I'm not, fact. Next time you're out, pick out somebody who is in no way whatsoever good looking. Can you honestly say that that person would magically be good looking just by simply believing that they were? I tried believing I was but constantly having nobody agree with me was quite the reality check.

No offence Mamma but you don't sound too confident to me at all.

Mammanabammana

MCMLXXV wrote: »

No offence Mamma but you don't sound too confident to me at all.

None taken but take my word for it, I genuinely am one of the most confident people you could meet. Seriously. As I keep saying, I'm just stating a fact. On the couple of occasions I've had this conversation with people in real life, they eventually run out of things to say because they realise that I'm right, the only reason women aren't interested in me is my looks, and really, who's going to say that to my face? The last three girls I asked out - each of whom I'd gotten friendly and chatty with (but not enough to be in the so called friend zone) and clicked in terms of personality, humour etc - wouldn't even go on a first date with me! The facts is the facts.