What do you say to annoy people on purpose?

lazygal · 13-04-2011 4:21pm #1

I love telling Cork people they are lucky to be living in the real capital of Ireland, DUBLIN!

Biggins · 13-04-2011 4:23pm

I have your money!

cosmicfart · 13-04-2011 4:24pm

anything from Father Ted, it either annoys the hell out of them or else humorous dealings ensue

Archeron · 13-04-2011 4:24pm

Just say "whats that smell, oh God" and then look at them out of the corner of your eye.

Ghost Buster · 13-04-2011 4:24pm

Are you watching the match?
Me- Gaelic or soccer?

Fuhrer · 13-04-2011 4:26pm

The holocaust never happened...

Poor Craythur · 13-04-2011 4:26pm

It's tailored for each individual, just whatever pushes their buttons, really!

KeithM89_old · 13-04-2011 4:27pm

'Meh' - always pisses people off

DOBBER112 · 13-04-2011 4:27pm

Usually when I hear somebody I know talking about another person I know in an unflattering way, I like to turn around and say "shur I dunno what your problem is I think he/she is lovely...just misunderstood"

Dangerous Man · 13-04-2011 4:27pm

Well, as a 1980's man of business with questionable morals, I enjoy buying honest, blue collar business, promising job security, and then selling off the business in chunks to the highest bidder to turn an easy buck or two.

That annoys people.

Eric Cartman · 13-04-2011 4:28pm

'I have maddie'

it really pisses off this english couple I met on holidays years ago, no idea why

antodeco · 13-04-2011 4:28pm

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

RichieC · 13-04-2011 4:28pm

in front of girls tell your mate his whole outlook on life has improved since he got the hair plugs.

DOBBER112 · 13-04-2011 4:29pm

Dangerous Man wrote: »

Well, as a 1980's man of business with questionable morals, I enjoy buying honest, blue collar business, promising job security, and then selling off the business in chunks to the highest bidder to turn an easy buck or two.

That annoys people.

Is that you Gordon Gekko...?

**snigger**

cosmicfart · 13-04-2011 4:29pm

Fuhrer wrote: »

The holocaust never happened...

it never did. what actually did happen was that the 'allies' bombed the fook out of Germany and killed millions, including Jews. History, as we know, is written by the victors and the allies invented the so called holocaust

Dean820 · 13-04-2011 4:29pm

Are you dressed to go out yet?

Staplor · 13-04-2011 4:29pm

Telling my nephew he is a good girl, and my niece she is a good boy, it annoys them til they're about 5.

veryangryman · 13-04-2011 4:30pm

I correct foreign peoples bad pronunciation of English words, even if they are pretty fluent in the lingo. Also use my own colloqialisms regardless of how familiar they are with them

RichieC · 13-04-2011 4:30pm

cosmicfart wrote: »

it never did. what actually did happen was that the 'allies' bombed the fook out of Germany and killed millions, including Jews. History, as we know, is written by the victors and the allies invented the so called holocaust

http://newarkairportsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/fuuuuuu.jpg

cosmicfart · 13-04-2011 4:31pm

RichieC wrote: »

http://newarkairportsucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/fuuuuuu.jpg

annoyed yet

Dean820 · 13-04-2011 4:31pm

Staplor wrote: »

Telling my nephew he is a good girl, and my niece she is a good boy, it annoys them til they're about 5.

Wow...that could really **** them up.

JONJO THE MISER · 13-04-2011 4:31pm

Im not a racist but:pac:

Leftyflip · 13-04-2011 4:33pm

"...k"

TheBunk1 · 13-04-2011 4:36pm

If someone asks me a question, I say "I'm not going to lie to to you..." and walk/turn away.

An old Homer Simpson classic

PeteEd · 13-04-2011 4:36pm

Londonderry

vicwatson · 13-04-2011 4:36pm

British Isles !

RayM · 13-04-2011 4:39pm

When in the presence of sports fans, I like to make deliberately obtuse comments. If they're watching a gaelic match, I'll continually accuse players of "blatant hand ball". If it's a football match, I just shout "offside!" whenever someone tries to score a goal. It's annoying when this observation turns out to be correct.

wandatowell · 13-04-2011 4:40pm

"jaysus the few extra pounds really suit ya"

Dermot Illogical · 13-04-2011 4:40pm

vicwatson wrote: »

British Isles !

A lot of people from the mainland don't realise we're part of that!

veryangryman · 13-04-2011 4:41pm

Staplor wrote: »

Telling my nephew he is a good girl, and my niece she is a good boy, it annoys them til they're about 5.

:eek:

RichieC · 13-04-2011 4:41pm

RT66 wrote: »

A lot of people from the mainland don't realise we're part of that!

yep, the islands off Brittany.

Captain_Generic · 13-04-2011 4:43pm

"That's completely sexist" usually does the job. Like when you let a girl in a door first thats sexist, if the guy goes first thats also sexist. It works in lots of situations

k4kate · 13-04-2011 4:44pm

Say to a woman "it's just your hormones"
Drives them mad, even (and for even, read especially) me.

4zn76tysfajdxp · 13-04-2011 4:49pm

cosmicfart wrote: »

it never did. what actually did happen was that the 'allies' bombed the fook out of Germany and killed millions, including Jews. History, as we know, is written by the victors and the allies invented the so called holocaust

Damn allies. I bet they built all those death camps to cover the evidence too, huh?

Captain_Generic · 13-04-2011 4:51pm

Emerson Brave Trend wrote: »

Damn allies. I bet they built all those death camps to cover the evidence too, huh?

And the pictures of prisoners were just people auditioning for Germany's Next Top Model

EL_Loco · 13-04-2011 4:52pm

someone makes a statement, pick the one that fits.....
"did ya, yeah?"
"can ya, yeah?"
"would ya, yeah?"
"have ya, yeah?"

prompting people for an answer as part of the question is also one of my favourites. "what time you going out? Haah?" make the "Haah?" bit a good bit louder than the question.

thankfully knowing how to be obnoxious is for the most part the reason I am not.

giggsy664 · 13-04-2011 4:58pm

RayM wrote: »

When in the presence of sports fans, I like to make deliberately obtuse comments. If they're watching a gaelic match, I'll continually accuse players of "blatant hand ball". If it's a football match, I just shout "offside!" whenever someone tries to score a goal. It's annoying when this observation turns out to be correct.

I screamed offside every minute during the Worl Cup Final last July. Ever. Single. Minute.

pow wow · 13-04-2011 5:01pm

"You're so racist", then watch them go through hoops to prove they totally aren't.

Martyn1989 · 13-04-2011 5:03pm

RayM wrote: »

When in the presence of sports fans, I like to make deliberately obtuse comments. If they're watching a gaelic match, I'll continually accuse players of "blatant hand ball". If it's a football match, I just shout "offside!" whenever someone tries to score a goal. It's annoying when this observation turns out to be correct.

A few mates are big Man Utd fans, Im not into football at all, when I watch the matchs with them I like to watch the pre match analysis and then regurgitate the analysists opinions as my own.
"They just dont have it up front" and the likes, drives em mad

Micky Dolenz · 13-04-2011 5:06pm

antodeco wrote: »

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

Well, what is it? I can't wait forever :P

pow wow wrote: »

"You're so racist", then watch them go through hoops to prove they totally aren't.

but....but... I have black friends and have eaten Chinese and Indian food.

Balmed Out · 13-04-2011 5:06pm

When someone gets into telling some story or other I like to ask is this going anywhere?

Savage Tyrant · 13-04-2011 5:07pm

My Da would be shouting at me for something stupid at times and my Ma would say "Leave the child alone will ya? If you knew who his father was, you'd tip your hat to him"

Great for diffusing the situation but it used to drive him up the walls. :pac:

we'llallhavetea_old · 13-04-2011 5:25pm

smiling and laughing at people who are trying to annoy you. works a charm.

Magic Eight Ball · 13-04-2011 5:34pm

Proclaim that you rufuse to get into the car of a black taxi driver because;
A - Your scared of blacks.
B - They'll take you on a sightseeing tour of the city & charge ya double.
C - Ask you if your willing to marry them or one of their relatives for visa purposes.
and D - They'll more than likely rape you!

Never fails..

red menace · 13-04-2011 5:42pm

I am living in Canada, I drive my co-wrkers nuts by saying
"You Americans make me sick" or "I see your President Obama is coming to Ireland"

cosmicfart · 13-04-2011 5:53pm

Emerson Brave Trend wrote: »

Damn allies. I bet they built all those death camps to cover the evidence too, huh?

Strangely enuff i think the Jews built them themselves

J. Marston · 13-04-2011 5:58pm

Me: *mutter something very quietly*
Other person: "What?"
Me: "What?"
Other person: "Did you say something?"
Me: "

No."
Other person: "Oh...okay."

Cypher_sounds · 13-04-2011 6:00pm

Tell them the truth.

Sanjuro · 13-04-2011 6:00pm

That's what she said.

To everything.

Raging_Ninja · 13-04-2011 6:06pm

When arguing with a girl:

"It's just the latent sexual attraction you feel for me that's making you say those things."

"Your know what your problem is? You like me. And you don't know what to do with yourself."

Larianne · 13-04-2011 6:08pm

If it's a reply to my boyfriend asking me "What's wrong?" it's always "Nothing."

What do you say to annoy people on purpose?

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