The perfect revenge

letsallgotothe

Saw a thread a while back on this and wanted to make a new one.

Ideas? Real or imagined...just need some input please

galwayrush

Use a knife made from ice OP, no evidence after it melts.:)

UglyBolloxFace

The perfect revenge? A nice, kinetically-charged kick in the bollox.

Berns

On what scale?? ie what did they do

Sergeant

A well aimed boot up the hole always gets the point across, and the anger you felt in advance of said action.

MonkeyBalls

success/indifference

Captain Darling

Chill out. Holding grudges only holds you back. Be better then that sh1t mannnnnnnnn.

GLaDOS

Through the majesty of song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwmrvXKACk8

Hurricane-Dean

You could take said victim of revenge's mother out for a night on the town, really wine her and dine her, show her a great time and after all that never call her again. Perfect revenge!

some random drunk

Clean your arse with their toothbrush.

Savage Tyrant

Or stick their toothbrush up your arse and photograph it... Wait a week or two then send them the picture.

Panthro

blow the load onto their toothbrush.

Captain_Generic

Poo in a bag, place in freezer, when frozen place under pillow, odorless until thawing occurs (preferably from body heat)

vibe666

i used to know a girl who's boyfriend was cheating on her. when she found out, she did the usual dumping routine, but then went back to his place and sprinkled a bag of frozen prawns into the air vents in front of the windscreen of his pride & joy.

i do wish i could have seen his face as it progressively got more and more fishy smelling in his motor and he couldn't figure out where it was coming from. i never did find out how bad it actually got for him, but i can't imagine it was much fun.

GLaDOS

vibe666 wrote: »

i used to know a girl who's boyfriend was cheating on her. when she found out, she did the usual dumping routine, but then went back to his place and sprinkled a bag of frozen prawns into the air vents in front of the windscreen of his pride & joy.

i do wish i could have seen his face as it progressively got more and more fishy smelling in his motor and he couldn't figure out where it was coming from. i never did find out how bad it actually got for him, but i can't imagine it was much fun.

I thought the story was gonna end with him being allergic to shellfish

stovelid

Moving on and getting on with your life.

Captain_Generic

vibe666 wrote: »

i do wish i could have seen his face as it progressively got more and more fishy smelling in his motor and he couldn't figure out where it was coming from.

It was the 'other womans' vagina

diddlybit

An ex of mine told me this story, it's about a girl he used to see back home.

She suspected her boyfriend of cheating on her, but never had any proof. so she enlisted the help of a very hot friend of hers, to go to the pub one night and come onto the guy, just to see if he would take the bait. (Femme fatale lady and cheating boyfriend obviously didn't know one another.) Boyfriend takes bait and suggests to the girl that they go home together. They get and she pretends that she wants some kink and ties him up. Takes a photo of him, poor guy still under the illusion that he's about to have a great night, is delighted. Starts to suspect something is going wrong, when the girl leaves a steaming "present" for him on his chest. The girl rings the girlfriend, who then, turns up, now knowing that he is a cheater.

Herself and her mate have a great laugh at him tied up. Then they ring his mother to let him out of his restraints.

El Weirdo

galwayrush wrote: »

Use a knife made from ice OP, no evidence after it melts.:)

Except for the stab wounds in the corpse.

stovelid

diddlybit wrote: »

Takes a photo of him, poor guy still under the illusion that he's about to have a great night, is delighted. Starts to suspect something is going wrong, when the girl leaves a steaming "present" for him on his chest. The girl rings the girlfriend, who then, turns up, now knowing that he is a cheater.

Herself and her mate have a great laugh at him tied up. Then they ring his mother to let him out of his restraints.

That less revenge than psycho shit. He's well rid.

diddlybit

stovelid wrote: »

That less revenge than psycho shit. He's well rid.

Yup. Most definately. Impressed at the amount of planning that went into though.

eternal

I was going to cup up a guys face once with two stanley blades .But the guy was ugly anyway ,so why bother? Might have only improved him .

stovelid

diddlybit wrote: »

Yup. Most definately. .

Imagine two guys had done it to a girl.....

Dudess

eternal wrote: »

I was going to cup up a guys face once with two stanley blades .But the guy was ugly anyway ,so why bother? Might have only improved him .

Get help.

Captain Darling

Dudess wrote: »

Get help.

I'd say he could manage on his own. :pac:

whiteboy

diddlybit wrote: »

An ex of mine told me this story, it's about a girl he used to see back home.

She suspected her boyfriend of cheating on her, but never had any proof. so she enlisted the help of a very hot friend of hers, to go to the pub one night and come onto the guy, just to see if he would take the bait. (Femme fatale lady and cheating boyfriend obviously didn't know one another.) Boyfriend takes bait and suggests to the girl that they go home together. They get and she pretends that she wants some kink and ties him up. Takes a photo of him, poor guy still under the illusion that he's about to have a great night, is delighted. Starts to suspect something is going wrong, when the girl leaves a steaming "present" for him on his chest. The girl rings the girlfriend, who then, turns up, now knowing that he is a cheater.

Herself and her mate have a great laugh at him tied up. Then they ring his mother to let him out of his restraints.

I think I read this somewhere before

AidanadiA

Captain_Generic wrote: »

Poo in a bag, place in freezer, when frozen place under pillow, odorless until thawing occurs (preferably from body heat)

This one is class!!!

Captain Darling

I know a guy that took a dump in a bowl, put corn flakes on it, covered it in cling film, and put it in the fridge at a house party.

It wasnt in revenge though. He was just a scummy fcuker.

Cypher_sounds

Captain Darling wrote: »

I know a guy that took a dump in a bowl, put corn flakes on it, covered it in cling film, and put it in the fridge at a house party.

It wasnt in revenge though. He was just a scummy fcuker.

I'd say the poor fooker who fell for it was talking some shi*e for the rest of that day:pac:

MASTER...of the bra

UglyBolloxFace wrote: »

The perfect revenge? A nice, kinetically-charged kick in the bollox.

Your face is gonna sting...

celtictiger32

vibe666 wrote: »

i used to know a girl who's boyfriend was cheating on her. when she found out, she did the usual dumping routine, but then went back to his place and sprinkled a bag of frozen prawns into the air vents in front of the windscreen of his pride & joy.

i do wish i could have seen his face as it progressively got more and more fishy smelling in his motor and he couldn't figure out where it was coming from. i never did find out how bad it actually got for him, but i can't imagine it was much fun.

mwaahh hah ha ha ha ha ha ha! will be trying that sometime in the near future

jackiebaron

eternal wrote: »

I was going to cup up a guys face once with two stanley blades .But the guy was ugly anyway ,so why bother? Might have only improved him .

Were you not hugged enough as a child?

celtictiger32

jackiebaron wrote: »

Were you not hugged enough as a child?

yeah bear hugged

karlog

A sh*t through the letterbox always sends a serious message.

Potential-Monke

Fill the hairdryer with talc. (check youtube!)

RichieC

Leave a frozen prawn in their car, well hidden. after a while the little bastard will start stinking to high heaven! then kick his teeth in.

hondasam

Revenge is a waste of time. It will only make you feel better for a short time.

life is to short to hold a grudge.

I'd just do the Old Boy revenge.. Movie

Lock them in a room for 15 years and make them fall in love with their now 18yr old child when I release them.

Hilarity ensues.

FlutterinBantam

Oldie, but still cost effective, the auld Topdeck.

Launch a floury dump into the cistern and away you go.


Very difficult to get rid of.

phill106

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Oldie, but still cost effective, the auld Topdeck.

Launch a floury dump into the cistern and away you go.


Very difficult to get rid of.

Oh flutterin, always with the dumps with you

TheZohanS

eternal wrote: »

I was going to cup up a guys face once with two stanley blades .But the guy was ugly anyway ,so why bother? Might have only improved him .

Wow....just wow...

celtictiger32

eternal wrote: »

I was going to cup up a guys face once with two stanley blades .But the guy was ugly anyway ,so why bother? Might have only improved him .

why stop there can you not borrow a chainsaw:eek: