f*ckbuddies and dating?

LighterGuy

Ok.
Your dating a girl (or guy) and find out he/she has a f*ckbuddy. You are only in the "seeing stage", could of had 10 dates, could of had 1 date, could be ready to ask into a relationship - doesnt matter. seeing stage is seeing stage.

am i the only one who would run a mile and never contact such a person again?

FesterBeatty

yes

OutlawPete

LighterGuy wrote: »

am i the only one who would run a mile and never contact such a person again?

Nope, Forest Gump would too.

LighterGuy

FesterBeatty wrote: »

yes

yes im the only one? :P
or yes you would run a mile too? :P

Saila

usually its one or the other no

FesterBeatty

LighterGuy wrote: »

yes im the only one? :P
or yes you would run a mile too? :P

that would be an ecumenical matter

flahavaj

Ask can you be one too

Wouldn't bother me. So long as she was upfront about it and she wouldn't be bothered if i also had one, also (none of them there double standards!).

celts

OutlawPete wrote: »

Nope, Forest Gump would too.

So would Linford Cristy and Carl Lewis.

TheZohanS

LighterGuy wrote: »

Ok.
Your dating a girl (or guy) and find out he/she has a f*ckbuddy. You are only in the "seeing stage", could of had 10 dates, could of had 1 date, could be ready to ask into a relationship - doesnt matter. seeing stage is seeing stage.

She/he tells you they have a f-buddy .... what would you do?

am i the only one who would run a mile and never contact such a person again?

She kinda sounds like a crazy, but saying that you have no right to ask her to give up a f-buddy after just one date. You can only do that when you're actually going out, or after the two of you hook up properly.

Sanjuro

Dump her for her fuck buddy. That'll show her.

LighterGuy

Deleted User wrote: »

Wouldn't bother me. So long as she was upfront about it and she wouldn't be bothered if i also had one, also (none of them there double standards!).

I wonder how many people would be upfront tho?

--LOS--

I don't understand that OP, if I was so-called 'dating' someone, it'd be totally unacceptable for them to be seeing/making themselves available to other people. I don't get the whole 'seeing stage' and then making it official

LighterGuy

--LOS-- wrote: »

I don't understand that OP, if I was so-called 'dating' someone, it'd be totally unacceptable for them to be seeing/making themselves available to other people. I don't get the whole 'seeing stage' and then making it official

thats bascially what we're talking about. it being unacceptable (in my opinion anyways)


To give you an example, one things pops into my head. Knew a girl about 2 years ago. She was doing it with her ex who was also single. Turns out she was dating a guy for the past few weeks and then when a "relationship" was asked, she only then said she couldnt sleep with the f-buddy anymore. yet she had a few dates with the new guy while sleeping with the f-buddy and to my knwloedge new guy didnt know she was doing a f*ck buddy thing at all!

Galway K9

**** buddies...........very very confusing and messy.

Your leading he/she on as well as yourself

OutlawPete

celts wrote: »

So would Linford Cristy and Carl Lewis.

Not sure you thought that one through

Novella

I think if you were 'seeing' someone and you liked them enough to wanna 'make it official', you'd stop fucking others anyway. I dunno. I guess if I was seeing someone and I found out he was sleeping with someone else, I'd just think it was a casual thing. Probably wouldn't run a mile, but it wouldn't make me think things were getting more serious.

kona

--LOS-- wrote: »

I don't understand that OP, if I was so-called 'dating' someone, it'd be totally unacceptable for them to be seeing/making themselves available to other people.

Ah come on, as ****ed up as the whole "procedure" for dating in Ireland is, If your only dating your only dating, how many times have you had your time wasted, at least if your seeing a few people youve a better choice and less likely to end up with some dope.
I think youd be mental to refuse other options just because your "dating" somebody.

--LOS-- wrote: »

I don't get the whole 'seeing stage' and then making it official

Me neither

Chaotic_Forces

Make your **** buddy, problem solved.

LighterGuy

kona wrote: »

Ah come on, as ****ed up as the whole "procedure" for dating in Ireland is, If your only dating your only dating, how many times have you had your time wasted, at least if your seeing a few people youve a better choice and less likely to end up with some dope.
I think youd be mental to refuse other options just because your "dating" somebody.

I understand what you are saying... to keep options open so you can meet someone who you would really want a relationship with...

But see all this "keeping your options open" - its generally because a person is using someone. Like I date a girl but im not that into them ... but would gladly piss about with them for a while asits better than nothing and if anyone asks why I am giving my number out to other people/dating other people etc, its because "i am keeping my options open" ... while in reality im just using people.

jackiebaron

LighterGuy wrote: »

Ok.
Your dating a girl (or guy) and find out he/she has a f*ckbuddy. You are only in the "seeing stage", could of had 10 dates, could of had 1 date, could be ready to ask into a relationship - doesnt matter. seeing stage is seeing stage.

am i the only one who would run a mile and never contact such a person again?

Could HAVE.

Adios.

LighterGuy

jackiebaron wrote: »

Could HAVE.

Adios.

are you mental?
do you have some sort of mental problem the rest of us users should know about?

--LOS--

LighterGuy wrote: »

thats bascially what we're talking about. it being unacceptable (in my opinion anyways)


To give you an example, one things pops into my head. Knew a girl about 2 years ago. She was doing it with her ex who was also single. Turns out she was dating a guy for the past few weeks and then when a "relationship" was asked, she only then said she couldnt sleep with the f-buddy anymore. yet she had a few dates with the new guy while sleeping with the f-buddy and to my knwloedge new guy didnt know she was doing a f*ck buddy thing at all!

ugh, that is pretty sickening tbh. If you are viewing someone as relationship material at all there shouldn't be anyone else in the picture, sex for sex' sake should not be mixed with that. Thats just my opinion. How hurt would you be if you were in the early stages of a relationship i.e. 'seeing' someone and later found out they had been with other people during those special first stages.

LighterGuy

I agree LOS totally.
But it seems to be more and more common place for people to spout that "i am single free to do what i like" thing. Which in my opinion is just lying and twisting. You're either single, in a relationship, or dating/seeing someone. Theres no pick n' mix.


I for one immediately stop viewing girls as any sort of relationship material when they say they are seeing someone, but will give you their number or kiss them :rolleyes:
In my experience usually the kiss or number is given first then you find out they are "seeing someone" after ... bad!

kona

LighterGuy wrote: »

I understand what you are saying... to keep options open so you can meet someone who you would really want a relationship with...

But see all this "keeping your options open" - its generally because a person is using someone. Like I date a girl but im not that into them ... but would gladly piss about with them for a while asits better than nothing and if anyone asks why I am giving my number out to other people/dating other people etc, its because "i am keeping my options open" ... while in reality im just using people.

Your not using them if your honest and tell them what the score is, its the sly arsebandits that lie that are the problem.

Depends on where you want to be, personally I dont want to be in a position where your left with nothing, at least if your seeing a few people you can compare each one and you can figure out who ya prefer, in the end this will happen eventually, its a expensive and timeconsuming hobby is keeping your options open haha.

But as regards to your ****buddy question? If I was seeing a girl who had a ****buddy, I wouldnt have any Interest in a serious relationship with her, however I would keep seeing her as shes a good sport.

TheZohanS

LighterGuy wrote: »

I agree LOS totally.
But it seems to be more and more common place for people to spout that "i am single free to do what i like" thing. Which in my opinion is just lying and twisting. You're either single, in a relationship, or dating/seeing someone. Theres no pick n' mix.


I for one immediately stop viewing girls as any sort of relationship material when they say they are seeing someone, but will give you their number or kiss them :rolleyes:
In my experience usually the kiss or number is given first then you find out they are "seeing someone" after ... bad!

You need to brush up on the art of committing a "robbery".

Poor Craythur

Well, I think it's fine to casually date a few people at a time if you're upfront about it. But I think having a fúck buddy during is a bit inappropriate.

kona

--LOS-- wrote: »

those special first stages.

I find that abit fairytalish, The first stages are nowhere near as special as when you actually love somebody, who the hell loves somebody after 10 dates?. Thats what I find, If Ive seen a girl on two dates and she says she has a ****buddy it would be no big deal. If she still ****ing him after 1 more and Im gettin none, gluck!

jackiebaron

LighterGuy wrote: »

are you mental?
do you have some sort of mental problem the rest of us users should know about?

Just trying to keep grammar and verbiage on form in this ever changing ether. The loss of such is the bane of those little people such as yourself who probably came to the internet 10 years ago as I was programming it in the late 80's.
Please, speak online as you would to a jury. WTF/LOL/ROFL/BRB/TBH/....yada is fine....just foolish.

Am I "mental"? Can you elaborate?

Chaotic_Forces

jackiebaron wrote: »

Could HAVE.

Adios.

Shush.

--LOS--

kona wrote: »

Ah come on, as ****ed up as the whole "procedure" for dating in Ireland is, If your only dating your only dating, how many times have you had your time wasted, at least if your seeing a few people youve a better choice and less likely to end up with some dope.
I think youd be mental to refuse other options just because your "dating" somebody.

Mostly I don't get the whole 'dating' thing where it is basically a blind-date type scenario, you don't know anything about the person and are just meeting for dinner or w/e to see how you get along and then if all goes well repeat that. Could it be that unclear whether you like the person or not to have to sync it with casual sex?! Would you not rather see how you get on with the person first, works towards having sex with them if you like, don't bring other people into it! The OP is talking about having multiple dates with someone, I've no idea why you'd want to mar the beginning of potentially a good relationship.

kona wrote: »

Me neither

?
I would count the length of a relationship from when I've started seeing someone, I don't know why people have to confuse things so much.

LighterGuy wrote: »

I understand what you are saying... to keep options open so you can meet someone who you would really want a relationship with...

is that really gona work though, why wouldnt you just keep your options open for the potential relationship you would have with someone you are seeing.

ElizabethDante

i think it depends on a few things, if both parties in the "dating stage" know that it is not a full blown relationship and both are honest about their kanoodlings then i think its perfectly fine

it also depends on how much you like them and what your attitude to sex is. some people regards sex as the highest act of love and some people regard it as a human need.

also, another factor is... can you trust that she/he is having safe sex and not going to pass anything to you in the future!

i personally also think it is perfectly fine to kanoodle while in a relationship as long as both and all outside parties are aware and emotionally stable enough to accept it.

if one is emotionally able and one is not then it will not work and therefore should not be done!

--LOS--

LighterGuy wrote: »

I agree LOS totally.
But it seems to be more and more common place for people to spout that "i am single free to do what i like" thing. Which in my opinion is just lying and twisting. You're either single, in a relationship, or dating/seeing someone. Theres no pick n' mix.


I for one immediately stop viewing girls as any sort of relationship material when they say they are seeing someone, but will give you their number or kiss them :rolleyes:
In my experience usually the kiss or number is given first then you find out they are "seeing someone" after ... bad!

yep, if you're single sex is sex, if you're seeing someone, you both know there's something there, it would be pretty weird not to be able to assume they're not messing around with someone else. That kind of thing doesn't really need to be spelled out in the form of a 'let's make things official' talk imo. If it did I wouldnt want anything to do with them tbh, people can do what they like but I don't want any part of a mess like that.


To me that kind of behavior you describe would turn me right off, how could you ever trust someone like that.

Poor Craythur wrote: »

Well, I think it's fine to casually date a few people at a time if you're upfront about it. But I think having a fúck buddy during is a bit inappropriate.

ye sure, esp with a lot of people spouting the whole 'can't sleep with someone for the first few dates' thing, hardly any better than sleeping with someone else at the time!

kona wrote: »

I find that abit fairytalish, The first stages are nowhere near as special as when you actually love somebody, who the hell loves somebody after 10 dates?. Thats what I find, If Ive seen a girl on two dates and she says she has a ****buddy it would be no big deal. If she still ****ing him after 1 more and Im gettin none, gluck!

find what you like, I'm by no means a prude but the first stage are hella special especially after you fall in love with them.

RussellTuring

Until both parties agree that they will not see anyone else, everything is fair game.

sandmanporto

dump them!

Absurdum

blast her with kiss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sohB922c2uQ

leggo

Will you guys telling him to run a mile stop.

There's no big deal with f-buddies. It's pretty common. Yes, it's true that one usually has feelings for the other (the latter who is likely doing it just to fill a hole, for lack of a better term, until the next relationship comes along), but by exploring other options (exploring YOUR, uh, option...that innuendo didn't work...) she's telling you that she's interested.

If you feel like you're ready for a the 'relationship chat', then go for it. And you're well within your rights to demand exclusivity if she's on the same page. You'll know what the score is after said chat.

Chaotic_Forces

leggo wrote: »

Will you guys telling him to run a mile stop.

There's no big deal with f-buddies. It's pretty common. Yes, it's true that one usually has feelings for the other (the latter who is likely doing it just to fill a hole, for lack of a better term, until the next relationship comes along), but by exploring other options (exploring YOUR, uh, option...that innuendo didn't work...) she's telling you that she's interested.

If you feel like you're ready for a the 'relationship chat', then go for it. And you're well within your rights to demand exclusivity if she's on the same page. You'll know what the score is after said chat.

One mating partnet per person, problem solved.

LighterGuy

leggo wrote: »

Will you guys telling him to run a mile stop.

There's no big deal with f-buddies. It's pretty common. Yes, it's true that one usually has feelings for the other (the latter who is likely doing it just to fill a hole, for lack of a better term, until the next relationship comes along), but by exploring other options (exploring YOUR, uh, option...that innuendo didn't work...) she's telling you that she's interested.

If you feel like you're ready for a the 'relationship chat', then go for it. And you're well within your rights to demand exclusivity if she's on the same page. You'll know what the score is after said chat.

So .... if you met a girl tomorrow, had 6 dates over the next month and find out she has a fu*k buddy, you'd be ok with it leggo?

General General

If the girl's f*ck-buddy is another chick, then it's ok.

Rhamiel

was bout 6 months into a relationship when I found out she had a bit of a wee f*ckbuddy during what I had thought was the 'special, starting to see each other part'...was devastated

we weren't 'officially' (:rolleyes:) going out at the time so I couldn't really hold it against her so we continued to go out for a good while after that.. but as much as I tried, deep down I had an anxiety about it and didnt fully respect her as much as I had done.
The uneasiness of knowing such facts turned to be more than frivolous as she ended up cheating on me in the end, which may or may not be a reflection on the sort of person who sees someone while f*cking another?

Anyway I'd say, yeah run a mile

LighterGuy

Im sorry to hear that Rhamiel
But I think what you posted is just a testament to the topic of this thead.

And for what its worth, i think her f*ck buddy was a tell tale sign that she wasnt invested, right from the start, from till the end she cheated.


Personally I think what you have posted are the real world factors when dating a person who has a f*uck buddy and or dating other people as well at the start.

IrishEyes19

I'd be pretty disappointed too, if I discovered someone I was seeing had a bit on the side before the "official conversation" happened. Merely because if you want to lead onwards to a proper relationship with one person. I think sleeping with another person would tar that, and also I'd be inclined to believe that person didnt have much respect or think that much of me, if they were getting it from someone else.

wolf moon

LighterGuy wrote: »

Ok.
Your dating a girl (or guy) and find out he/she has a f*ckbuddy. You are only in the "seeing stage", could of had 10 dates, could of had 1 date, could be ready to ask into a relationship - doesnt matter. seeing stage is seeing stage.

am i the only one who would run a mile and never contact such a person again?

no. i would too. cant even think of all this dishonesty and sh1t in the possible future relationship. no way i'd stay with her, ever.

pow wow

In your scenario OP how do you find out she has a fcukbuddy? Does she bring it up over dessert? Or ask if you can wrap things up early because she has an appointment to ride him like a pony later that evening? And has she fcuked Mr. Fcukbuddy recently (within your dating timeframe?)

If I was her I wouldn't be upfront about it unless there was an overlap - there's no need to be. Whoever I'm casually bouncing is none of your business if I'm not doing it after I started seeing you right? I might have a fcukbddy I haven't seen in a couple of months but I'd still classify him as one so technically I would still have a fcukbuddy, all whilst trying to get with you.

You've oversimplified it though, there are stages within the seeing stage!

candy-gal1

Well, imho, if shes honest with you about it when you ask and there isnt any hiding it or sneaking around, plus if you both havent done or said anything that could be contrived as a boyf/girlf thing or commited or anything then thats your own choice

stovelid

Until you firm things up with the new person (fnarr) youre not doing anything wrong. If the new person is worth it it will be apparent pretty quickly anyway.

Liam Byrne

"could of" is NOT a valid phrase! It makes absolutely no sense!

So I gave up reading and have no idea what the question is.

pickarooney

Absurdum wrote: »

blast her with kiss

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sohB922c2uQ

Finally, it's funny again (if only for a brief moment).

kiddums

Well that all depends if her F***buddy is a hot chick.

If she is a threesome will end all problems.

If not......spitroast anyone?

stovelid

Liam Byrne wrote: »

"could of" is NOT a valid phrase! It makes absolutely no sense!

So I gave up reading and have no idea what the question is.

http://scienceblogs.com/bushwells/upload/2006/10/Matriarch_youngster_Gombe.jpeg