Our Excerpts are up.

EileenG

You can now download (and review) our excerpts in the ABNA competition from Amazon.com Free downloads to a Kindle, or a smartphone or PC with Kindle app (also free)

http://www.amazon.com/Dont-Feed-the-Fairies-ebook/dp/B004TETBT4/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=A2HD1FRBBEUS3N&s=books&qid=1301522850&sr=8-1

and
http://www.amazon.com/Ravensborough-ebook/dp/B004TEYGSK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=A2HD1FRBBEUS3N&s=generic&qid=1301581040&sr=1-1

pickarooney

Are the pitches and plot summaries available? I still don't really know what Ravensborough is about.

Having read a few random excerpts I'd say you have a decent shot at the final, Eileen. What I've read of your book reads very much like a finished product and just comes across as a professional job.

On the other hand I think i-digress' needs a bit more work. I know you said before that the opening chapters weren't your favourite part and those bits having got you this far is a good sign but I'd have a couple of reservations. Prove me wrong though!

EileenG

Thank you!

I don't think ABNA posts the pitches, but you've already seen mine, you helped to work on it.


Getting stranded on Earth was a shock, but Cytolene has a plan. She's going to hitch a lift on the first spaceship heading towards home. While she's waiting for a suitable ship, there are all these delicious Earthers to feast on. It's true what they say – human energy is the tastiest in the galaxy, well worth the long trip from Eris.

Her plans go out the window when she discovers she's not the only alien on Earth. Ashling, a cute Erisian baby, has wandered away from a spaceship. Now Cytolene has to protect her from the humans that want to see her on a dissection table.

She enlists the help of Steve, a hot muscular Californian – well, she always wanted a pet. But why does he think she's his girlfriend? And why is he so jealous of Mike, the lethal ex-Marine?

When Ashling's mother comes looking for her baby, Cytolene discovers her problems have only just begun. And she's not the only one in trouble.

How far will Cytolene go to protect her humans? And what will happen when she comes face to face with the mother who abandoned her?

Don't Feed the Fairies is a 56,000 word YA novel, set in San Diego and the planet Eris, where Cytolene learns that when pushed to extremes, she has strength and abilities no-one ever suspected.

EileenG

Just got an e-mail saying our excerpts are only going to be up for another week or two, so if anyone would like to do a quick review on either of them (please, please, please....) now is the time.

Killer_banana

Do you have to own a kindle to download the kindle app for your PC? 'Cause I've tried loads and it won't work for me.

pickarooney

It worked fine for me and I've never even seen a Kindle.

EileenG

At the side of the screen, you can see "get kindle for pc" or smart phone or whatever. They are free aps. I got kindle for my phone in the android market, and used that.

Killer_banana

It just seems amazon doesn't like me using opera. Doesn't matter though, switched to mozilla and got the download working so have it now.

EileenG

Great. I'd love a review.

pickarooney

Big day tomorrow. Best of luck!

EileenG

Thanks. I'm not sure if I should take to the drink or the drugs. Or both.

i-digress

Well, I'm out. Still mega chuffed to have gotten this far though

EileenG

What was your review like? Mine was brutal. "By the time Cytolene's story ends, the reader is simply relieved it's all over".

pickarooney

EileenG wrote: »

What was your review like? Mine was brutal. "By the time Cytolene's story ends, the reader is simply relieved it's all over".

That's up there with "I'd rather poke my eyes out" as insightful literary analysis goes.

i-digress

I got 'Fun, but not much substance' as my parting shot, which wasn't too bad. At least not compared to some of the others.

I got some good points though, that I can use to revise the novel. So at least that's something. I have to say I enjoyed the whole process, I would encourage other aspiring writers to enter the competition.

EileenG

I can't find anything in the least helpful or useful in my review. He seems to have started by objecting to non-American spelling and then hated the whole thing. There was no "This area is weak and needs work", it was just "The whole thing is awful".

I like to think that I'm fairly confident in my ability (who said "arrogant"?) but I wanted to cry after it.

pickarooney

Hard to believe they could make such an issue out of furren spelling. It's always been a bit of a conundrum for me, when you're describing events and using dialogue in North America, whether you should stick to the spelling you use for the Irish parts of the same book or switch. There seems to be no definitive answer.

Did you only get one reviewer this time round?

EileenG

One review anyway.

The Amazon boards are hopping with people going nuts over their reviews. I gather some were even worse than mine.

Phantasos

If you made spelling errors then that would be a problem. If you are using proper (i.e: non-American) English then that's not an issue at all. At publication stage, it may be a topic for discussion, but not as part of the ABNA review. That's being nitpicky.

It reminds me a little of my ongoing job-hunt - you put in countless hours of blood, sweat and tears, and when you get declined and ask for feedback they don't have any specifics to help you improve for next time. It's a lost opportunity if they can't give even a few specific pointers.

EileenG

It was non-American spelling, realise rather than realize, and car park rather than parking lot.

I did have one minor spelling mistake on about page 150, but that was it.

IgnatiusJ

EileenG wrote: »

I can't find anything in the least helpful or useful in my review. He seems to have started by objecting to non-American spelling and then hated the whole thing. There was no "This area is weak and needs work", it was just "The whole thing is awful".

I like to think that I'm fairly confident in my ability (who said "arrogant"?) but I wanted to cry after it.

Good writing is so subjective that it would be a mistake to let one review upset you.

EileenG

I'm trying not to, especially since most of the other feedback I got, including from professional editors, has been positive, but this was a bit of a shock.

Hmm, it's just occured to me that the first thing in the review is a complaint about "Amateurish writing", and I've been earning my living as a professional writer for the last twenty years.

Phantasos

Do you know anything about the reviewer? Their background, credentials, etc? I wouldn't let one bad review get you down. It's rather pointless for a reviewer to be snappy and talk in generalities - anyone could do that. I thought the whole idea of the feedback was to give pointers as to how to improve upon your story.

pickarooney

Phantasos wrote: »

Do you know anything about the reviewer? Their background, credentials, etc? I wouldn't let one bad review get you down. It's rather pointless for a reviewer to be snappy and talk in generalities - anyone could do that. I thought the whole idea of the feedback was to give pointers as to how to improve upon your story.

I don't get the impression that this is the purpose of the competition at all. The reviews that I've read almost all consist of a plot summary and a couple of lines of personal opinion directed at potential publishers, essentially advising them if the book will sell. I've yet to see any review from the QFs that could be classed as useful feedback for the writers.

Phantasos

Oh, my bad then, sorry! Still, it's a huge wasted opportunity for the talented people that make the effort and put their works out there to be reviewed. I would have imagined it would be well within the reviewers' reach to offer a couple of pointers at what would improve a piece of writing.

EileenG

I'm hoping that the problem is that the reviewer just doesn't like SF. The adult books are divided into different categories (historical, fantasy, SF, thriller etc) but all the YA stuff is lumped into one big pile. It's bound to happen that every reviewer likes some types of books more than others.

pickarooney

Phantasos wrote: »

Oh, my bad then, sorry! Still, it's a huge wasted opportunity for the talented people that make the effort and put their works out there to be reviewed. I would have imagined it would be well within the reviewers' reach to offer a couple of pointers at what would improve a piece of writing.

Maybe that do taht for the ones they like and put through to the next round. I'm not sure how it works at all actually - is each reviewer given 5 books and told to pick 1 or what?

EileenG

I have no idea, and I doubt we'll find out. They are bound to keep things like the judge's identity secret, or whoever it is will be harassed for years to come. An editor at O'Brien Publishing told me they never give feedback, because when they do, people argue about it and complain they are not reading the book right.

dublinario

EileenG wrote: »

Hmm, it's just occured to me that the first thing in the review is a complaint about "Amateurish writing", and I've been earning my living as a professional writer for the last twenty years.

So you're fond of saying Eileen (ad nauseum). I'm curious, where can we all find this vast canon of published work that's been putting food on your table, week-in week-out for the last two decades?

EileenG

I'm a free lance journalist, more news that features. Sometimes I get bylines, sometimes I don't.

i-digress

EileenG wrote: »

I'm a free lance journalist, more news that features. Sometimes I get bylines, sometimes I don't.

I'm a freelance journalist too. Not with as much experience as Eileen though, and I don't always get a byline either. And some of my stuff appears in trade publications that aren't read by the general public either. I expect it's the same with Eileen.

I got a comment about sloppy writing too, again it had to be the fact I used British spelling conventions because my work was professionally edited by a third party. I got some constructive stuff in mine, but overall the guy didn't like YA. That doesn't mean that I won't take the couple of negatives I got on board and bear them in mind on my next edit, but I'm not going to let it crush me.

I'm still proud to have gotten this far though.

smcgiff

dublinario wrote: »

So you're fond of saying Eileen (ad nauseum). I'm curious, where can we all find this vast canon of published work that's been putting food on your table, week-in week-out for the last two decades?

Asked by Mr Anonymous. There's no obligation on anybody to give any information more than they wish to contribute.

The ABNA is unfortunately a lottery.

Donal Og O Baelach

This is a harsh business. We have to take the hits, brush them off, and carry on. Eileen is well capable of offering a strong and honest view in the interest of furthering someone elses work - I'm sure she can take the same when delivered in the same spirit.

EileenG

Donal Og O Baelach wrote: »

This is a harsh business. We have to take the hits, brush them off, and carry on. Eileen is well capable of offering a strong and honest view in the interest of furthering someone elses work - I'm sure she can take the same when delivered in the same spirit.

I'd love to, if there was anything constructive I could find in the review. Okay, the complaint about British spelling is something I can fix (and have done), but everything else amounted to "I hated it". I would love a specific problem that I could work on.