Right to run away from a gang of cows?

Pighead

Headed to Dundalk's beautiful westside this afternoon for a gentle stroll in the park only to end up having what can only be called a near death experience.

Was walking through old Joey McArdles field thinking about how we as a community can sort out this boards.ie "What exactly constitutes abuse" issue when out of nowhere came a strange sound which sounded suspiciously like a gang of young fella's imitating a gang of cows.

Pighead's suspicions were slightly off the mark however as the cow like sounds were actually coming from cows. Looked over left hand shoulder and the gang of cows were ambling slowly towards yours truly. Aren't these fcukers supposed to be afraid of humans?

Anyway there was a pretty girl surveying the scene from a treehouse across the meadow so not wanting to appear uncool, Pighead ever so slightly upped the pace towards the far gate in the corner of the field.

The gate was 30 metres in front of Pighead. The cows were 15 metres behind. They were gaining fast which was unsurprising as they were doing approximately 7 mph compared to Pighead's 4.5 mph. Calculator on the phone was telling Pighead he would have to up the pace significantly but the inner voice which acts as Pighead's coolometer told him not to be silly and keep swaggering.

Sweat was forming now which probably impressed the chick in the treehouse as women love a sweaty man. The cows were now just a couple of metres behind, the gate seven metres ahead. Something had to be done.

Then remembered something that my drunken liar of an uncle had told Pighead a few years back. Cows hate a staredown. They will back down if you stare the head cow straight between the eyes.

Had never trusted my uncle before but there was nothing for it. There would have to be a staredown. Stared right between the lead cows eyes and waited. The reaction was immediate. He pawed at the dirt with his right hoof, snorted loudly and charged.

There was nothing for it. Pighead had done many things to impress women before but he wasn't willing to take on seven beefy cows in a charging match.

Turned, sprinted and just made it over the gate, the breath of the gang leaders nostrils warming the back of Pighead's throat. The girl pulled the curtains of her tree-house but not before giving Pighead a scornful look which suggested she was questioning Pigheads testicular fortitude.

Any culchies, animal enthusiasts or zoo keepers know if Pighead made the right decision today? Should he have ran? Are gangs of cows dangerous? Could he have been killed? Do girls normally have curtains on their treehouses?

chin_grin

Pighead has an awesome life..........aw.

R P McMurphy

http://news.stv.tv/uk/118368-farmers-issue-warning-after-fatal-cow-attacks/

OutlawPete

Should have done a 'Marwood'

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-FQ7rYYX0Q

Pighead

chin_grin wrote: »

Pighead has an awesome life..........aw.

Wouldn't say it's awesome. But that's only because Pighead has a deep hatred of meaningless Americanisms. Would actually describe it as splendid.

Wile E. Coyote

It's a herd of cows pighead

Orando Broom

Cows are landsharks. With their dead eyes......

chin_grin

Pighead wrote: »

Wouldn't say it's awesome. But that's only because Pighead has a deep hatred of meaningless Americanisms. Would actually describe it as splendid.

Initially I doth decideth on "quaint", but alas. Doth gray matter thath resideth betweeneth my pinnae didn't see fit as to correcteth my digits...........eth.

Pighead

Wile E. Coyote wrote: »

It's a herd of cows pighead

Quite sure this lot considered themselves to be more a gang than a herd. They were all wearing leather.

maglite

Wait,


Your trying to impress a chick in a tree house, you would't be one the those pedophile types would you

Mint Sauce

City Folk

:rolleyes:

You sure you didn't incounter a Bull pighead?

Ruu_Old

A friend of mine told me he was walking home drunk one night and through the fields, met a herd of cows. One of them got too close and he punched the cow in the nose only to end up with a handful of cow snot.
I think he is talking through his hat to be quite honest.

cloneslad

When I grow up I want to write in the 3rd person like pighead.

KeithM89_old

I call shenanigans, the west-side of Dundalk is neither beautiful or cow-filled. :pac:

Pighead

irish-stew wrote: »

City Folk

:rolleyes:

You sure you didn't incounter a Bull pighead?

Not sure at all to be honest irish-stew. Most of them looked a bit like this. Except slightly more menacing.

http://producerposts.com/.a/6a01156f4ae097970b012875b66a52970c-pi

biko

There is a breed of cow that's quite aggressive, I can't remember the name now but they're not something you want to meet alone in a dark alleyway.

hondasam

the girl in the tree house will probably start a thread saying something like this!!

I was in my tree house today when I seen this townie walking through the field, little group of cows were grazing and the townie got scared and starting running and cows been animals the ran after him.

you should have seen him jump the gate, what a wimp :pac:
nearly died laughing :pac:

I think the call him pighead!!

Chuck Stone

That was me in the treehouse. I'm a 6'2, 15 stone man in my 30's - granted I was wearing a blond wig and a tank top but....

.. I've said too much.

phill106

I am kind of worried about the age of the girl in the treehouse. Generally girls in treehouses, would be just that, girls, usually 10 years old or less. After that age girls don't seem to go for tomboy pursuits such as that.
Pighead should check id...

Pighead

hondasam wrote: »

the girl in the tree house will probably start a thread saying something like this!!

I was in my tree house today when I seen this townie walking through the field, little group of cows were grazing and the townie got scared and starting running and cows been animals the ran after him.

you should have seen him jump the gate, what a wimp :pac:
nearly died laughing :pac:

I think the call him pighead!!

Pighead was afraid this thread would put a dent in his reputation alright. Suppose that's the price you pay when you choose to open your soul to After Hours. You've gotta be prepared to take the knocks.

Was hoping people would focus more on the fact that Pighead has a cool calculator on his phone but suppose it's human nature to focus on the negatives.

Wolfe Tone

Ah Pighead, where have you been?

Pighead

phill106 wrote: »

I am kind of worried about the age of the girl in the treehouse. Generally girls in treehouses, would be just that, girls, usually 10 years old or less. After that age girls don't seem to go for tomboy pursuits such as that.
Pighead should check id...

Rubbish. Pighead is in his 30's and has a treehouse. Treehouses are for everybody. And beside this treehouse had curtains. Kids don't have the money to put curtains on their treehouses.

chin_grin

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Ah Pighead, where have you been?

Locked in a staring match with a "gang" of cows.

Pighead

Wolfe Tone wrote: »

Ah Pighead, where have you been?

Westside of Dundalk getting chased by cows.

phill106

Pighead wrote: »

Rubbish. Pighead is in his 30's and has a treehouse. Treehouses are for everybody. And beside this treehouse had curtains. Kids don't have the money to put curtains on their treehouses.

You have me there, Now I want a treehouse. I can tell the missus it is for the boys!
Don't think the tree in the back will support much more then a doghouse though

mfceiling

It's good to have you back pighead..........it's been too long

hondasam

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead was afraid this thread would put a dent in his reputation alright. Suppose that's the price you pay when you choose to open your soul to After Hours. You've gotta be prepared to take the knocks.

Was hoping people would focus more on the fact that Pighead has a cool calculator on his phone but suppose it's human nature to focus on the negatives.

you jumped the gate :pac:
go back tomorrow and repeat the same thing but this time don't run.

come back tomorrow with pics of you and the cows and I will be impressed !!

Pighead

phill106 wrote: »

You have me there, Now I want a treehouse. I can tell the missus it is for the boys!
Don't think the tree in the back will support much more then a doghouse though

Pighead wasn't allowed use the tree in the garden as a treehouse either. Ended up converting the attic to a tree which is probably actually better as it's inside and it's actually just an attic with leaves and twigs on the floor.

phill106

Actually, has anyone considered...those cows...could have had....guns!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMbXvn2RNI

pickarooney

Wile E. Coyote wrote: »

It's a herd of cows pighead

I'm pretty sure cows are female too but don't quote me on that.

JB81

This story is just quan!

cloneslad

phill106 wrote: »

I am kind of worried about the age of the girl in the treehouse. Generally girls in treehouses, would be just that, girls, usually 10 years old or less. After that age girls don't seem to go for tomboy pursuits such as that.
Pighead should check id...

Bullsh*t, these women had to have been 40 at least when they made this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvjLgjtJKsc

EDIT: I proabably should have watched that video first, it was a man in the treehouse....much likely the case in Pighead's story too

OutlawPete

hondasam wrote: »

come back tomorrow with pics of you and the cows and I will be impressed !!

I've been in Dundalk a few times on my travels and I can tell you, they have a have some very nice bovine specimens up that way.

...

Hail 2 Da Thief

Once, during a beautiful summer evening, I spent 30 mins dangling from a scrawney little tree whilst also holding a fishing rod in one hand.
What I had thought would be a peaceful evenings fishing had been temporarily ruined by aggressive cows that charged me.
I feel your pain Pighead!

cloneslad

OutlawPete wrote: »

I've been in Dundalk a few times on my travels and I can tell you, they have a have some very nice bovine specimens up that way.

...

He speaks the truth, my uncle married a right cow from Dundalk, their daughter is one too.

hondasam

OutlawPete wrote: »

I've been in Dundalk a few times on my travels and I can tell you, they have a have some very nice bovine specimens up that way.

...

you can come back with pics as well :pac:

you can meet pighead

cson

Pighead can count himself lucky he didn't come across these Spanish speaking bad boys

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VP3xLsmKnHc

OutlawPete

cloneslad wrote: »

He speaks the truth, my uncle married a right cow from Dundalk, their daughter is one too.

Heeyy, I meant the cattle were cute, not that the women were cattle

Lovely women in Dundalk, sure the last time I was up there one lovely women wouldn't leave me alone.

I took a pic of her for the guards sure ...

happyoutscan

Ha ha nice one. Next time stick near a boundary wall or fence when crossing land in case you meet nasty bovine. You don't want to get caught in the middle, it's not pleasant.

Pighead

OutlawPete wrote: »

I took a pic of her for the guards sure ...

That's her! That's the woman in the treehouse. She will never belong to Pighead.

cloneslad

OutlawPete wrote: »

Heeyy, I meant the cattle were cute, not that the women were cattle

Lovely women in Dundalk, sure the last time I was up there one lovely women wouldn't leave me alone.

I took a pic of her for the guards sure ...

Not as nice as this one, and she's got a great imagination too.

hondasam

OutlawPete wrote: »

Heeyy, I meant the cattle were cute, not that the women were cattle

Lovely women in Dundalk, sure the last time I was up there one lovely women wouldn't leave me alone.

I took a pic of her for the guards sure ...

just the one woman pete

though the would be like bees to a honey pot after you

starbelgrade

biko wrote: »

There is a breed of cow that's quite aggressive, I can't remember the name now but they're not something you want to meet alone in a dark alleyway.

I think they're called "bulls".

OutlawPete

hondasam wrote: »

just the one woman pete

though the would be like bees to a honey pot after you ..

Not since the Chippendales thread they haven't

hondasam

OutlawPete wrote: »

Not since the Chippendales thread they haven't

you better pm those pics to me

my imagination is in overdrive here

Max Power1

Should have blasted them with piss

Pighead

Max Power1 wrote: »

Should have blasted them with piss

Would rather they'd killed me than do that. Pighead's pecker ain't for blasting wee wee.

AhSureTisGrand

Charging cows are not to be underestimated:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAAmYe6Qfd0&feature=youtube_gdata_player

ArseLtd

No. The cows were probably just curious. Its normal for the whole lot of them to follow you around the field for a while. When they got to you yeah, the boldest one would snort at you, and maybe move it head. If it was charging at you you wouldn't have gotten away when you were that close. I very much doubt if it charged at you. You just looked like a simple townie knowing nothing about cows. If you charged at them, they would have all ran away, then started following you again.

If its intentions were to attack you, you would have known well before it got to you. It would stand with its back really straight and run around looking at you, then charge at you from the other side of the field. This would be a bull, i doubt if a cow would do this unless it was protecting a calf.

Alot of the time there are bulls in fields with cows so next time you take a stroll stay close to the fence.

Son Of A Vidic

They're curious fcukers by nature, so the sight of you attracted them no doubt. All ya had to do was let out a roar/shout or move toward them and they would back away.

However, I might add if they were bullocks you encountered? You did well to run like fcuk!

cml387

Of course they were curious.A man with a pig's head?


What?

Oh. Sorry:o.