Children in the pub?

What do you think of taking children to the pub...first off I will hold my had up and say I am completely against it except when its the limited circumstance of a family meal.

Yesterday I was at a family lunch in a small hotel and the amount of children in the bar running around was amazing their parents were just drinking and chanting and taking no notice of them, then late on in the afternoon a local pub has traditional music on so I was going to go but again the place was full of children some only toddlers while there parents were drinking. How can parent possible think that a suitable way to spend st Patrick's day when you have children.

ElleEm

I really disagree with kids being around alcohol, even drinking in the house when kids are still awake.
We were having a few drinks in the house last night and a friend arrived with his daughter. I stopped drinking immediately as I don't think kids should experience drunk adults.
My parents never drank around us as kids and we were never brought to pubs unless it was a (very infrequent) family meal, neither parent would drink.
I have a few friends that brought their kids to the pub while they got drunk yesterday, and one Facebook friend even had her status up today giving out that she couldn't get into any pubs last night with her 8 year old. It's a disgrace!

KittyeeTrix

I remember growing up in Galway and every Paddy's day would be taken into town to the Crane Bar down the West.....................

Had the best time ever, ran around for the day with all the other kids there while the parents enjoyed the day. There was a party put on in the back room for us kids and it did us no harm at all......

I've now got 4 children myself and would have regularly had drink at home in the past (not as often now as I'm studying for a science degree at the moment) but it's like everything else in life, a bit of moderation and all is fine.....

Can honestly say that my kids don't seem to have been affected for the rest of their lives by seeing me worst for wear in the past no more than I was by seeing my own parents......:)

Phoenix Park

As a child i was never brought into a pub, and on the very few occasions i saw my parents with alcohol on board at home,even as a small child, something felt wrong and made me feel frightened. Personally i won't bring my kids to the pub, if i ever have any!. Don't think its a suitable environment, seeing their parents and strangers sitting around getting pis$ed. Each to their own i guess.

metrovelvet

OP said a small hotel. A lot of times these small country hotels are where the community gather for christenings, funerals or sundays after mass etc. There is no other functional way of holding these things and kids are part of the community, so I have no problem with seeing kids in small or medium or even large hotels where there is a pub.

Phoenix Park

Yes, but as the thread is titled Children in the Pub i'd imagine thats the issue they're putting up for discussion?. I agree hotels have a different aspect to the matter than a pub

Wolfe Tone

I was always brought to a pub on Sunday afternoons, many a bottle of red lemonade was consumed and lots of soccer was played in the car park. I remember the peanuts and those wavy bacon bite things. Peeling the design off of the beer mats to play xs and os on them. Watching the football with my Dad, him with his Guinness me with some coke.

It was more fun when I was a kid then it is now!

amiable

Phoenix Park wrote: »

Yes, but as the thread is titled Children in the Pub i'd imagine thats the issue they're putting up for discussion?. I agree hotels have a different aspect to the matter than a pub

I'd actually imagine the thread is about what's in the opening post
It usually is anyway.

Deliverance

mariaalice wrote: »

What do you think of taking children to the pub...first off I will hold my had up and say I am completely against it except when its the limited circumstance of a family meal.

Yesterday I was at a family lunch in a small hotel and the amount of children in the bar running around was amazing their parents were just drinking and chanting and taking no notice of them, then late on in the afternoon a local pub has traditional music on so I was going to go but again the place was full of children some only toddlers while there parents were drinking. How can parent possible think that a suitable way to spend st Patrick's day when you have children.

I take my daughter to coffee shops. She has grown to like the ambience and enjoys the variable experience of different people within an area that demands a consumption of collaborative conversation and engagement over the consumption of a product.

What I noticed in this process is that the more time spent in coffee shops with her the more she liked it and appreciated the ambience of general conversation and social beneficial experience over the McDonalds fast fix commercialised lazy experience.

The point I think I am trying to make is that bringing a child to a pub is akin to bringing them into a place that is designed to sell a product i.e. fast food (mcdonalds) / alcohol (the pub) which are both classic examples of an escapist easy out lifestyle that they as kids could be easily become conformed to by the nature of the product on sale.

I would like to see my child enjoy things outside of this commercial and escapist nature of a fast food and escapist society. I enjoy watching her grow to appreciate this and as such become a better person with a better lifestyle.

The Irish dependecy on the pub as a social need is dying out slowly but surely as more interesting options are appearing, by not bringing kids to the pub, in my view is a good idea.

Kids copy adults, bringing the little one to the pub teaches them that the pub and drinking is ok, when it is not ok in the long run. Fast food and alcohol will always be with us for sure but parents that are intelligent enough to realise this make the difference for the future.

They do this by stepping outside their own taught influences to make the effort to not bring kids to pubs or mcdonalds so as to make them better and able to realise more options by experience alone. The job of a parent in my view is to responsibly take action and actively allow our kids to be better than we ever were by this learning.

Orion

No back seat modding please. If you have a problem with a post please report it.

Thanks

Deliverance

Macros42 wrote: »

No back seat modding please. If you have a problem with a post please report it.

Thanks

Is that in the constitution or are you just easily over annoyed.

Lola92

I have to say I both agree and disagree with some of what is being said on this thread. With regards to children being in pubs I think it is very much a matter of when and under what circumstances. Eg) Family dinner/gathering during the day would be fine IMO. Not so much during late afternoon and evening when there will most likely be drunk or tipsy adults around. However bringing your children along to the pub while proceeding to drink yourself stupid is definitely not okay, at any time.

I don't necessarily think that never drinking around your children is a good thing either though. I think that if kids grow up seeing a good example from their parents consuming alcohol in moderation it leads to more responsible teens and young adults less likely to binge drink.

By no means am I saying that these kids will never get drunk but I really believe that being around their parents having a glass of wine with dinner or a beer or two at a BBQ will do them good. It tells them from a young age that drinking to excess is unhealthy and, as with anything, moderation is key.

aujopimur

I went for a few last night, it was like a fecking creche, kids babies buggies and pi$$ed parents at 9p.m.

smelltheglove

I think it really depends on where you are and who you are with. I have taken my kids to the pub for dinner and around Christmas time with family. I tend to hold drink very well, I didn't drink around my eldest for years as when she stayed with me in my mams my mam would have a couple of glasses of wine and in her daddies there was a bar so there'd be a but of drinking going on so I wanted her to see both ends of the stick.

Anyway, yesterday we took them to one pub after the parade, our usual, it was jam pack so we moved onto the next where there were mire of our friends, well mist people around were hammered, immediately I said let's go when the drink was finished but before that happened things got rough and I had to take them behind a wall until things eased and straight out of there! It was my first time going to the pub for paddies day and will mist likely be the last time ever in that pub anyway!

From now on I will be sticking to my usuals and only on the fare occasion, I was disgusted that peoe would behave that way in front of kids, mine weren't the only kids around!

January

Deliverance wrote: »

Is that in the constitution or are you just easily over annoyed.

Have you actually read the charter?

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bryaner

ElleEm wrote: »

I really disagree with kids being around alcohol, even drinking in the house when kids are still awake.
We were having a few drinks in the house last night and a friend arrived with his daughter. I stopped drinking immediately as I don't think kids should experience drunk adults.
My parents never drank around us as kids and we were never brought to pubs unless it was a (very infrequent) family meal, neither parent would drink.
I have a few friends that brought their kids to the pub while they got drunk yesterday, and one Facebook friend even had her status up today giving out that she couldn't get into any pubs last night with her 8 year old. It's a disgrace!

Were you drinking to get drunk? Then too right the child should not have been there, can't see any harm in a child seeing an adult drinking once it's a social drink..

Kids in pubs is all wrong to me btw..

Bassfish

I wouldn't say bringing a child into a pub occasionally is not harmful per se but i would certainly avoid it the vast majority of the time as i feel it really does serve to reinforce the Irish drinking culture which is just a personal bur bear of mine. I think it's teaching the kids that this is where you have fun when your big, this is what you'll do when you grow up and kids always want to be like the grown ups so this becomes planted in their minds.
I've worked in several pubs and i now work in a child protection capacity and it's shameful the amount of children who spend half their childhood in pubs.
By the way this is almost exclusively an irish phenomenon. Try finding kids in bars in France, Germany or the US, you'll have a job.

snuggles09

i hated being in pubs as a child, it didnt happen very often but i just remember being so bored and although there were other kids there i would often just sit around so bored and not mix with anyone

for this reason i don't bring my own children into pubs very often. we very rarely go for a Sunday dinner and himself might have a pint and I would drive or if we had an occassion we would bring them in the day (christening, birthday meal etc) but one of us wouldnt drink. our children have never seen us drunk and i've never put them in the situation where they would be in a pub full of drunk adults (or a house full of drunk adults). we just dont feel comfortable drinking around our children with the purpose of getting drunk as you will see in some pubs on paddys day but would have at most 2 drinks if they were with us and we were at a family occassion

i think it's awful when you see young toddlers in buggies asleep in noisey pubs while the parents are drinking. i always feel so sorry for the children

deisemum

Both of my parents were pioneers and they didn't take us to the pub yet most of my siblings and myself drank alcohol often too much once we started going out.

I rarely drink now, same with most of my siblings, the most I'd drink is about 1 - 2 glasses of wine with a meal, the most I'd drink would be about 2 - 3 bottles of wine over a year.

With my own children we'd only take them to a pub if we were going for a meal or when they were younger we might go to a local one that had a big playground, a pill walk and a big field with farm animals, a stream with ducks and in the summer it would have outdoor music.

I rarely drink at home, again maybe a glass of wine if I've people round for dinner, my husband would have some wine or a few beers over the weekend and he doesn't get drunk.

I think my children (teenagers) are seeing that it's ok to drink without drinking to excess and it demystifies alcohol to them unlike in my upbringing it was like forbidden fruit.

We didn't have their communions or confirmation in pubs instead went for the meals in lovely restaurants and then something focusing on fun for them.

johnn

Little shits were running all over the place, blowing whistles etc. in the pub when trying to watch Cheltenham, do us all a favour and keep them at home. :rolleyes:

ElleEm

bryaner wrote: »

Were you drinking to get drunk? Then too right the child should not have been there, can't see any harm in a child seeing an adult drinking once it's a social drink..

Kids in pubs is all wrong to me btw..

I was drinking to get drunk, and had a few on me at that stage, but when the friend + kid arrived for a visit (he wasn't drinking) but I wasn't going to continue with the "session" feeling in front of a kid. I just don't think it's appropriate to be tipsy and giggly and slurring your words in front of a child.
Drinking a glass of wine with dinner is different, but again, if there are kids around, I will drink maybe half or one glass over the whole meal as opposed to the amount I would drink with just adults.
I feel alcohol in my system VERY easily, and after half a glass of wine, I notice the difference. I can handle my drink, but I am just very aware of how alcohol affects me and I would rather be 100% alert around kiddies

mud

For the most part I don't see children having any business being in a pub. Pubs are for adults. Times have changed and the pub is no longer the focal point of a community.

I have a friend that brings her children to the pub maybe twice or three times a week. It has made me so uncomfortable that I just won't go if I know they are going to be there. It's so rotten seeing all the alcos knowing the children by name and talking to them and lifting them around the place. Gives me the shivers tbh.

Once in a blue moon, if there's a community day on or a vintage rally or something like that I could see how being brought to the pub for a few 7ups would be fine but once the evening comes children should be at home.

I have no problem with children in cafes, restaurants etc as long as they are well supervised by sober parents/guardians.

On a side note I don't think it's right for children to see parents very drunk, it can be horribly upsetting to see someone so familiar act so strangely and out of control.

Lady Chatterton

Sometimes I think it is not good to totally avoid or forbid something as it can make it even more attractive. My husband grew up in a house where both his parents were pioneers and were very anti drink. He told me that because of this, he was dying to try it and at 15 he started drinking. (Thankfully, it didn't develop in to anything serious).

Now, my husband and I aren't into the pub scene at all but we do like to have a glass of wine or two with a meal or at night when we are watching TV. I like the way drink is treated by the French and the Italians. I hope that when my child/children are older that their first experience of alcohol will be around our dinner table. I think that parents have a huge role to play in being good role models for their children.

omahaid

My parents used to go dancing on a Sunday evening in a local lounge and bring me and my sister along. We used have great fun (there were load of kids). Did us no harm (I rarely drink, watching my parents have a responsible 1 or 2 aided in this attitude I think).

So I see no harm in children occasionally seeing the inside of a hotel bar.

sadieirl

ElleEm wrote: »

I really disagree with kids being around alcohol, even drinking in the house when kids are still awake.
We were having a few drinks in the house last night and a friend arrived with his daughter. I stopped drinking immediately as I don't think kids should experience drunk adults.
My parents never drank around us as kids and we were never brought to pubs unless it was a (very infrequent) family meal, neither parent would drink.
I have a few friends that brought their kids to the pub while they got drunk yesterday, and one Facebook friend even had her status up today giving out that she couldn't get into any pubs last night with her 8 year old. It's a disgrace!

Seems a little extreme

Kimono-Girl

when we were younger we were brought to the pub on days like paddy's day and family parties etc, we used love it because we would get to play with all our cousins either inside or outside depending on the venue, also as a young child i remember totally taking advantage of the drunker adults by asking them for money and they'd always hand it over no problem!


now as a parent we take our daughter with us also on days out like patricks day for example. we have a one parent sober at all times rule (i drink very rarely) and even then her dad will only have a pint or two. if its an evening party we organise a babysitter, we share a room with our child so unless she is staying overnight at my mum's we don't drink (i'd be worried about alcohol fumes in the bedroom...etc)

i see no harm, in fact patricks day just gone she had an amazing time playing with the balloons and the other children there. we took her home at 6pm and fed her her dinner, and as parents had a great day socialising with my family.


everything is good in moderation,

banning something can be as harmful as endorsing it imo.

ElleEm

sadieirl wrote: »

Seems a little extreme

What does?

cynder

I spent Sundays at the local pub eating ready salted crisps and having a coke while my dad had a pint (dont know what my mother had but she never ever was drunk), we were very well behaved kids (in the 80's).

I dont mind seeing kids in the pub if its a family occasion or if mom/dad is having one or two, but i do hate seeing kids in a pub when parents are there to get drunk, there is a hugh difference between the two.

I think parents can be a good role model (as regards to responsible drinking) they can show there kids that one or two is ok and leave it at that (a parent should never get drunk in front of their kids or be left in sole charge of children while drunk).


Some parents are not good role models in the drink area my dad being one of them, my brother likes his drink and when he starts he cant stop, i rarely drink but when i do its one or two.

To hide drinking alcohol for ones children can do more harm then good, they are more likely to experiment, drinking alcohol should not be a taboo subject in one house it should be openly talked about, i even let my 11 year old have a taste and sometimes with a meal half a glass of wine. (but we rarely have alcohol in the house)

When i worked as a hotel receptionist there was these couples that would spend all day in the bar and have their kids running riot, when the parents were drunk they would leave with kids in tow. Totally disagree with that.

As another poster said everything in good moderation.

Did anyone see the English news the other day, in the west midlands they are treating a 3 year old for alcoholism and there are approx 100 under 12s being treated for the effects of alcohol!

Moonbeam

I have seen this from all sides over the years.
There are the parents that bring their kids to the pub too frequently and sit there all day getting drunk and the kids don't appear to be looked after properly.
There are the people that bring their kids in on a Sunday afternoon for the social occasion which normally appears as exciting for the kids as the parents.
There are those that bring their kids in for some food or for a special occasion.
There is also a huge difference between city pubs and country pubs and in communities where there is only 1 or 2 pubs and that is where most social interaction takes place.
I have 2 kids and it is rare I would bring them to a pub but it is also rare that I would go and since I have had them it is rare that I drink at all.

amiable

Moonbeam wrote: »

I have seen this from all sides over the years.
There are the parents that bring their kids to the pub too frequently and sit there all day getting drunk and the kids don't appear to be looked after properly.
There are the people that bring their kids in on a Sunday afternoon for the social occasion which normally appears as exciting for the kids as the parents.
There are those that bring their kids in for some food or for a special occasion.
There is also a huge difference between city pubs and country pubs and in communities where there is only 1 or 2 pubs and that is where most social interaction takes place.
I have 2 kids and it is rare I would bring them to a pub but it is also rare that I would go and since I have had them it is rare that I drink at all.

Couldn't agree with you more Moonbeam
Its not just Black and white whether kids should be allowed in the pub or not imo.
I rarely take my kids to the pub but sometimes i do go with my 7 year old and will stay for an hour and read the paper while she has jelly and ice cream and reads her kids magazine

common sense brigade

I dont see anything wrong with taking the kids to the parade, and then having family lunch and one or two drinks afterwoods in a pub once one parent abstains, and its not a regular occurance.

There is also a huge difference between city pubs and country pubs

100% True

I am the original poster of this thread ...I think people are missing one or two points.

To the people who say that they enjoyed playing in the pub when they were children...a pub is not a place to play nor is a pub car park.( that exactly what I saw on children playing in a pub carpark which is beside a road they were completely unsupervised and were ruining in and out of the pub )

I think its a small bit ott to say children should never see adults having alcohol.

But its more about re framing your thinking about St Patrick's day and other occasions like that.....every where in Ireland is near a mountain or a woodland walk or a beach walk..there are hundreds of suitable outings for families..The OPW has a great book about the sites they run or look up coilta....

Pubs in rural Ireland are different thats true and they are more tolerant of children but its still wrong IMO to spent the after noon in a pub drinking ( even if it is st Patricks day ) while your children are there.

maameeo

i see no problem with children in a pub during the day as long as their parents are looking after them and keeping them under control. As well as keeping themselves under control, not nice to see a drunk parent with a child!
ive gone to the pub with my parents and my daughter (8) during the day. id have a coffee and wouldnt stay long because i dont enjoy having to tell my daughter to sit down constantly.

Love when we go to spain and the pubs are so child friendly, with playrooms etc but again i wouldnt really drink much or any when looking after my daughter.

its a tough one, and i think it definitely depends on how you do it not if you do it.

upinthesky

no absolutely not how can you sit and have a drink and relax when you have children?
don't care the children are not been looked after 100% when the parents are drinking
an how are these people getting home when they have kids??

seamus

I'm torn on this one. There's the argument that if you bring the kids into the pub, then they see that, "this is the adult's playground" and want to get involved.

But on the other hand, if you specifically don't allow them to go, then they hear that Daddy is going to the pub but you're not allowed go, and that makes them want to know even more what goes on in the pub that makes Daddy (or Mammy!) enjoy it so much.

As Wolfe Tone says, some of my best memories as a child are of being in a pub at a family event with my coke and crisps and listening to the funny adults or playing with my cousins. Drunkenness always went over my head - I can never recall noticing anyone being drunk until I started drinking myself.

I would always be wary of making alcohol a magical, mystical substance that children never see being consumed. Again, IMO it only adds to its mystery and taboo and makes them want to know more about it. On the contrary, I would be of the opinion that a small glass of wine with dinner for a 12 year old (if the parents are having one too!) is a responsible way of introducing kids to alcohol. Same for allowing a 14 year old to have a bottle of beer while watching a football match with his old man.
Most kids will have started drinking by the time they're 16 so you need to get in there first and remove the mystique and coolness from it.

Obviously there's a huge difference between going out for a night of drinking and chatting with mates, versus a Sunday carvery with a pint or a glass of wine. I don't think that there's any big deal with the latter (just keep your fecking kids under control!)

stovelid

Moderation is the key to everything as ever.

For me, stopping yourself from having a drink or two because children turn up is almost as silly as falling around in front of them.

I don't think having the kids in the pub all the time is right but no problem with it occasionally. Like a lot of kids, I remember being in the pub on family occasions or before football matches with my dad and liked the crowd and the occasion. You didn't notice drunkenness unless it was completely OTT and for most people, it's not OTT.

up for anything

Coming from a non-regular Irish family, my parents, their friends and various visiting relations would drink at home. My dad used to make his own home brew back in the 60s. I remember in the mid 70s heading to the pub down the road to get a jug of beer for him on a Saturday evening. My mother would be more the spirits and wine type and if drinking beer had to get value for money so was a Carlsberg Special woman, although some of the funnier moments in my life would have been when some pubs didn't sell Special Brew and listening to my mother grilling the bar person on which had the highest volume of alcohol, Ritz, Lancer or whatever they happened to sell. A lesson in value for money.

We used to get taken to the pub some Sundays while the dinner was cooking (in the days when they closed between 2-4pm) while they had a drink and we either had Cokes or the alcohol of our choice. Mine was usually a Babycham or Snowball while my brother preferred liquers. As I got older and my parents became involved in pubs and hotels, my dad would take me on trips to spy on the opposition. I moved on to becoming a whisky expert or another particular favourite was Martini and white lemonade. I remember one particular expedition to a hotel in Clonmel when I was 17. There were a group of lads over in one corner of the bar and every second word was a profanity coupled with blasphemy. My dad got up, went over to them and politely asked them to refrain from swearing as he had a young lady with him. They did. Nowadays he'd probably be decked or laughed out of it.

My point is that none of us ever came to any harm in pubs, we weren't tarnished or tainted by spending time in them. None of us have ended up alcoholics and in fact probably learned to drink more responsibly than those of our friends who lived in houses with locked drink cabinets and no pub outings. Those were different days though before the advent of real binge drinking.

[/end of boring stories about the old days]