Having a best man - for the bride?

Daisy!

Does this sound daft? I'm getting married next year and while I have some good girl friends, my best friend is my brother. We've been through a lot and he's my rock. The more I think about it the more I can't pick one bridesmaid out of my female friends...has anyone ever been at a wedding where the bride has had a best man instead of a bridesmaid? I haven't said it to anyone yet, kind of scared of peoples' reactions, is it a daft idea?

Well they did make a movie about it...
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0866439/

I think it's a fine idea and it's YOUR wedding!

Irish_Elect_Eng

This is a good idea. Go with it.:)

Cameraman

Yes - I've been a guest at a wedding where the bride's brother acted in place of the maid of honour/chief bridesmaid.

I've also recently covered one where the groom's sister acted as Best (Wo)man.

So - why not ?

John Mason

i think its a great idea, i am having my brother as my maid of honour, as i cant decide on which of my girlfriends to chose

seanybiker

I think the best man and maid of honour where just traditions moreso than rules.

Rockery Woman

Go for it!:D

Its about having your friend playing an important role in the most important day of your life.

Oh_Noes

Make him wear a dress for teh lulz

Peregrinus

Yup. Legal requirement is two witnesses, but it's only by custom that one of these is a friend of the bride, and the other a friend of the groom, and it's equally only by custom that they each choose a friend of their own sex.


Choose the person you want to have with you on the day. If that's your brother, then go for it.

ElleEm

One of my best friends is a man and he will be acting as my best man. I will be having my best female friend as my bridesmaid too though.

It's a lovely way to honour your relationship, I think.

Daisy!

Thanks guys. It's going to be a small wedding and I was just planning on having the one person which might be a bit different to those of you that have chosen a male as your best man/made of honour but also have bridesmaids.....it's that or still have him as a best man and have one or two bridesmaids too I guess. But just choosing bridesmaids because it's the norm wouldn't be right either. I haven't said it to anyone yet, I know it's my wedding but I don't want it to look odd either

ana_conda

To be honest I haven't seen it yet and I cover a fair few weddings. I think there will be a few raised eyebrows but it sounds like it mean's a lot to you, so defiantly do it! (As long as it's what your brother want's).

If people are set in their way's and don't accept it's their problem!

It's your day ......have your way!

nordine

To be honest, I think it would raise quite a few eyebrows and possibly be the talking point of the wedding among many guests. It might detract a bit from the real reason everybody is there.

Do you think your brother would be happy enough to be cheif bridesmaid? What does your partner make of it?

Cat Melodeon

I can't see why anyone would have any issue with it. Sure it's not 'the norm', but neither is getting married abroad, having a non-white dress, having a black-tie reception, getting married on a day other than a Saturday or having more than 2 bridesmaids, but plenty of people do all of those things without caring too much about 'the norm'. Having your brother as your witness is hardly the most bizarre thing in the world.

When our grandparents got married, their fathers usually acted as witnesses. It was completely normal to have parents or other family members act as witnesses. The whole bridesmaid thing is an invented, imported tradition anyway, not an Irish tradition, so anyone who thinks you're being weird or zany obviously doesn't know too much about what Irish traditions are. It's your day, as long as your fiance is okay with it you really don't have to please anyone else and I'm sure your brother would be chuffed.

Cat Melodeon

nordine wrote: »

To be honest, I think it would raise quite a few eyebrows and possibly be the talking point of the wedding among many guests. It might detract a bit from the real reason everybody is there.

I think this is a bit silly. If it's a small wedding, it will be mostly family who will appreciate the close bond between the OP and her brother. Any weddings is a celebration of joining two families together. I hardly think having a male family member act as one of the witnesses is going to consume anyone's mind for more than 3 seconds, if at all.

Daisy!

It hasn't really gone down well amongst friends and family I have to admit. My brother thinks it's a bit embarrassing but he's very honoured to have been asked and said if it's what I want he'd be happy to do it. But I can tell he's uncomfortable about it and I don't want that. Maybe it wasn't the best idea in the world in the end Just thought it would be a nice thing to do considering he's my best friend but maybe he can be one of my fiancee's groomsmen instead and I'll have a couple of friends as bridesmaids.

I know it's my day but I think it's going to cause more hassle and embarrassment than it might be worth. Thanks so much for your comments though.

nordine

Making him a grromsman will keep him involved pretty much anyway and is probably the best idea.

I didnt meant to be ignorant with my comments, its was just my tuppence. I know everyone on here was telling you to go for it and that its "your day", "do whatever you like". In reality its very easy to say that but not as easy to do.

I mentioned your brother as I know that I would not be that comfortable if my sister asked me to be part of her bridal party.

Hope it works out well for you.

carolinespring

I have been to a civil wedding that the brides best friends was a guy who she was friends with from pre-school and he was her witness and the grooms sister was his witness. Nobody batted a eyelid. The grooms sister wore a beautiful green dress and the brides witness a dark gray suit with a white shirt and green tie.

Do what makes you and your future husband happy.

nordine

carolinespring wrote: »

I have been to a civil wedding that the brides best friends was a guy who she was friends with from pre-school and he was her witness and the grooms sister was his witness. Nobody batted a eyelid. The grooms sister wore a beautiful green dress and the brides witness a dark gray suit with a white shirt and green tie.

Do what makes you and your future husband happy.

She cant make her brother be comfortable with it though.

Id love Dennis Bergkamp as a groomsman, it would make me so happy. I doubt he'll accept though.

gbee

so you do what you want.

Be cognitive though that a man in a tux will be considered YOUR groom ~ that movie demonstrates the problem perfectly. Maybe consider getting a suit made in the same material and colours are the rest of the bridesmaids and add one or two feminine tiny touches to it.

leap

I think it depends on how you are doing the wedding. Maybe your brother would not be comfortable walking up the aisle (if you have one) in place of bridesmaids.

But defo have your brother as your witness, he can sign the register and also give a toast/short speech at the reception.

If I was you I would also have a bridesmaid. Its nice having people help fix your dress, make up, getting ready in the morning etc.

Best of luck for your wedding.

cybrandian

Men are marrying men, and women are marrying women these days, and fair play to them!

Being a bride and having a best man is hardly shocking, and do you really care what other people think as long as you and your partner are happy?

Do whatever feels right & helps to make this the best day of your life so far.....

Best of luck!

TheLordMayor

I completely agree with @cybrandian. The social boundaries of old are being broken down every day, why not have a best man as a bride? I think it would make it all the better to have your brother up there beside you. Just make sure he is comfortable with the idea first, perhaps he may want to be best man in duty but not in name.

Good luck!