So have any of you ever heard/walked in on your parents?

Coeurdepirate

Just happened about 15 minutes ago for the first time ever. They weren't actually having sex, worse - my mother appeared to be giving my father some sort of a lap dance.

I know that parents are people too and I want to have a sex life at that age blah blah but jesus, I think I'm traumatised.

jumpguy

No. And I hope I never do.

Oh no.

God no.

Oh, pics or GTFO!

SarahBeep!

Coeurdepirate wrote: »

Just happened about 15 minutes ago for the first time ever. They weren't actually having sex, worse - my mother appeared to be giving my father some sort of a lap dance.

I know that parents are people too and I want to have a sex life at that age blah blah but jesus, I think I'm traumatised.

Well you hardly expected them to be virgins :P

Oh_Noes

Lapdance eh?

Definitely worse. Much worse.

Screaminmidget

Coeurdepirate wrote: »

Just happened about 15 minutes ago for the first time ever. They weren't actually having sex, worse - my mother appeared to be giving my father some sort of a lap dance.

I know that parents are people too and I want to have a sex life at that age blah blah but jesus, I think I'm traumatised.

And the first thing you did was come in here and tell us??
Im with jumpguy on this, pics or GTFO.

You did take pics, right?

Coeurdepirate

Screaminmidget wrote: »

And the first thing you did was come in here and tell us??
Im with jumpguy on this, pics or GTFO.

You did take pics, right?

Well actually, the first thing I did was type it into yahoo answers so I'd know I wasn't alone

My camera was in the other room, sorry

Pygmalion

So like, the least you could do is describe it in more detail.

Like, was she completely naked?
If not, what was she wearing?
Was it a kind of slow, sensual lap-dance, or more of a fast-paced excited one?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the performance?

shamrock55

what age are your parents

Coeurdepirate

Pygmalion wrote: »

So like, the least you could do is describe it in more detail.

Like, was she completely naked?
If not, what was she wearing?
Was it a kind of slow, sensual lap-dance, or more of a fast-paced excited one?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the performance?

I hate you

shamrock55 wrote: »

what age are your parents

Either 50 and 51 or 51 and 52.

Screaminmidget

Coeurdepirate wrote: »

Either 50 and 51 or 51 and 52.

/thinks hard

Coeurdepirate

Well I was hoping that others would share their traumatising experiences but of course, being boards, it turns into a 'take the piss out of the OP' thread :rolleyes:

shamrock55

christ fair play i hope my missus will be giving me lapdances when we are in our 50s then again i dont even get them now:D

Screaminmidget

shamrock55 wrote: »

christ fair play i hope my missus will be giving me lapdances when we are in our 50s then again i dont even get them now:D

Im sure we could arrange something between coeurdepirates parents and yourself

Pm us if your intrested :P

Oh_Noes

Coeurdepirate wrote: »

Well I was hoping that others would share their traumatising experiences but of course, being boards, it turns into a 'take the piss out of the OP' thread :rolleyes:

I wholeheartedly feel your pain at walking in on your ma giving your dad a lapdance OP. It never happened to me so I find it hard to empathise but it could be worse, they could have been in costumes or using toys.

There, there.

shamrock55

ha ha does she have a webcam:D

Jamie Starr

If you want to discourage them, when it happens again just say "Threesome?"







Hopefully it doesn't backfire...

obliviousgrudge

Yeah, when I was like 9 or 10.

I wasn't 100% sure and I asked my mum the next day, and yes, they were doing the dirty.

KnifeWRENCH

I moderated this forum for over 2 years, and I don't ever recall this subject coming up. I'm amazed it took this long tbh! :pac:

To answer the OP's question: no, I have never walked in on or heard anything "inappropriate". If I ever did, I successfully managed to suppress it and never speak of it again LALALALA etc.

Oh and lapdance, eh? Much worse than hearing them have sex tbh. You unfortunate thing. I feel bad for you, but reserve the right to point and laugh at you! :pac:

[Nelson]HA HA![/Nelson]

MonicaBing

16 years old and coming home from my first disco, after being warned to be home by half 11 and breaking my neck legging it home in time so i wouldnt get grounded and miss the next one, i get in the front door just minutes after half 11, the landing light is on so i assume all are in bed and they'll call out to me as i go into bed, so i head into kitchen to get a glass of water, i open the door and reach to turn on the light switch only to be met by shrieks from my mum, ''Dont turn on the lights!"....A little bit confused as to what's going on as the telly's not on and my brain hasnt yet caught up with my mouth, i ask them what are they doing sitting in the dark! Realisation dawns on me and i back out of there quick smart and head off to bed freaked out! I then got pure pissed off, they knew the time i had to be home for yet still went at it in the fecking kitchen, Morto!

The tension was unbearable for the next few days, i can tell ya:D

Jesus Wept

MonicaBing wrote: »

16 years old and coming home from my first disco, after being warned to be home by half 11 and breaking my neck legging it home in time so i wouldnt get grounded and miss the next one, i get in the front door just minutes after half 11, the landing light is on so i assume all are in bed and they'll call out to me as i go into bed, so i head into kitchen to get a glass of water, i open the door and reach to turn on the light switch only to be met by shrieks from my mum, ''Dont turn on the lights!"....A little bit confused as to what's going on as the telly's not on and my brain hasnt yet caught up with my mouth, i ask them what are they doing sitting in the dark! Realisation dawns on me and i back out of there quick smart and head off to bed freaked out! I then got pure pissed off, they knew the time i had to be home for yet still went at it in the fecking kitchen, Morto!

The tension was unbearable for the next few days, i can tell ya:D

Danger ride obviously.

soccymonster

Nah never happened to me. But I remember I was staying in a cheap hotel in Paris with the walls as thin as cardboard and next door they were...y'know, having a good time. That was one awkward weird night with my family, looking back thank god I was only 8 or I'd have been mortified!

Grindylow

Hahahaha eww..

Why were you walking into your parents room at near 1 am though?

My parent's don't have sex, I was an immaculate conception.

Coeurdepirate

Noel2k9 wrote: »

Hahahaha eww..

Why were you walking into your parents room at near 1 am though?

My parent's don't have sex, I was an immaculate conception.

To make it 100x worse...
IT. WAS. THE. ****ING. SITTING. ROOM.

Grindylow

Coeurdepirate wrote: »

To make it 100x worse...
IT. WAS. THE. ****ING. SITTING. ROOM.

Ewww, that does make it a lot worse! :pac:

Atavan-Halen

The couch will need to be incinerated so!

And to answer the question, yes. I have

Cows Go µ

Never heard my parents and I really hope in never do. I would be scarred for life.

I have heard my brother and his girlfriend though which was awful, I was sitting quietly on the internet just before going to bed and they were upstairs. I forget about it most of the time but every now and then I remember and feel all embarrassed all over again

Namlub

Ewwy wewwy. I refuse to acknowledge that my parents may have had any sort of sexy times in the 17 years since I was conceived.

Coeurdepirate

atavan-halen wrote: »

The couch will need to be incinerated so!

And to answer the question, yes. I have

It's the recliner that I never sit on, thank god.

Cows Go µ wrote: »

Never heard my parents and I really hope in never do. I would be scarred for life.

I have heard my brother and his girlfriend though which was awful, I was sitting quietly on the internet just before going to bed and they were upstairs. I forget about it most of the time but every now and then I remember and feel all embarrassed all over again

I wouldn't really care about my brother, he always tells me about the embarrassing moments when he comes home after a night out and leaves condoms in his pocket and the lap dance giver washes the clothes :O

Namlub

She gave him a lapdance while he sat on a recliner? Your dad's a total pimp tbh.

Slow Show

Does your dad possess a cigar? Or some brandy? And a fancy dressing gown.

This thread makes me feel a little bit sick...the thought of my par- *vomits*

xoxyx

Ok OP - you need to take a step away from this whole situation. It may not be what you think.

It could well not have been a lapdance. It could have been anal gone wrong! ... Or right...

Sleep well! :)

Cows Go µ

Coeurdepirate wrote: »

I wouldn't really care about my brother, he always tells me about the embarrassing moments when he comes home after a night out and leaves condoms in his pocket and the lap dance giver washes the clothes :O

My brother is 6 years older than me so I spent most of my childhood idolizing him. He's uber protective of me, much more than my parents. He was always the one to tell me off for wearing too short a skirt and stuff like that

eco2live

Coeurdepirate wrote: »

Just happened about 15 minutes ago for the first time ever. They weren't actually having sex, worse - my mother appeared to be giving my father some sort of a lap dance.

I know that parents are people too and I want to have a sex life at that age blah blah but jesus, I think I'm traumatised.

jasus the tought of it

Coeurdepirate

Namlub wrote: »

She gave him a lapdance while he sat on a recliner? Your dad's a total pimp tbh.

It wasn't reclined at the time, so it just makes him someone who likes 50 year old breasts.

Slow Show wrote: »

Does your dad possess a cigar? Or some brandy? And a fancy dressing gown.

This thread makes me feel a little bit sick...the thought of my par- *vomits*

No, he doesn't...
And yes, it's horrific.

xoxyx wrote: »

Ok OP - you need to take a step away from this whole situation. It may not be what you think.

It could well not have been a lapdance. It could have been anal gone wrong! ... Or right...

Sleep well! :)

Thanks!

KnifeWRENCH

Namlub wrote: »

Ewwy wewwy. I refuse to acknowledge that my parents may have had any sort of sexy times in the 17 years since I was conceived.

I'm amazed any parent in the world manages to have sex other than to have more kids. They have to deal with years of getting older and uglier, being stuck in an increasingly loveless marriage with the same person for years, raising a load of screaming ungrateful brats.....if that doesn't kill your libido, what will?

Sex should be banned if you're a parent. Or old. Or ugly. It's only right that such shenanigans be left to the attractive, young and (most importantly) childless folks among us.

Yup.

Grindylow

That Jizzler guy would only love this thread..

eco2live

Just write them a card with the old saying "once up the bum, no harm done" and for Christmas maybe you could get them a pole in the sitting room. They are probably embarrassed. Just get them together and give them both a hug and kiss and tell them that you are hip with the love.












Or never speak of this dark time again......

eco2live

What music was playing? Bit of the hippy hippy shake I would say

Coeurdepirate

eco2live wrote: »

Just write them a card with the old saying "once up the bum, no harm done" and for Christmas maybe you could get them a pole in the sitting room. They are probably embarrassed. Just get them together and give them both a hug and kiss and tell them that you are hip with the love.












Or never speak of this dark time again......

As much as I hate you and 95% of the other people who have replied to this, the replies are fncking hilarious.

Joey.

On reading this thread, the fact that my parents are divorced doesn't bother me so much anymore

resistantdoor

<Snip>

Digits

Coeurdepirate wrote: »

Just happened about 15 minutes ago for the first time ever. They weren't actually having sex, worse - my mother appeared to be giving my father some sort of a lap dance.

I know that parents are people too and I want to have a sex life at that age blah blah but jesus, I think I'm traumatised.

Hmm, what was done in them 15 mins?

Fap, fap, fap. :pac:

seanbmc

Joey. wrote: »

On reading this thread, the fact that my parents are divorced doesn't bother me so much anymore

It still doesn't stop them riding other people.

tfox

never walked in on them but my dad and his partner would often disappear in the middle of the day and we'd hear the moans and groans coming from their bedroom :eek: sounded too close to a elephant fncking a donkey

kev9100

tfox wrote: »

never walked in on them but my dad and his partner would often disappear in the middle of the day and we'd hear the moans and groans coming from their bedroom :eek: sounded too close to a elephant fncking a donkey

Sweet Jesus!! I can only imagine the awkwardness.......

And OP, why would you bring this to the internet?

flyswatter

resistantdoor wrote: »

One time about 18 years ago I heard some really loud thumping and then some gooey thick liquid hit me in the ass.
6 months later I was born.....so consider yourself lucky.

Is it just me or has this place turned totally blue recently?

I remember a couple of weeks back Kate was infracting people on the changing clothes in the gym thread for saying much tamer things than this. :pac:

Insect Overlord

flyswatter wrote: »

Is it just me or has this place turned totally blue recently?

I remember a couple of weeks back Kate was infracting people on the changing clothes in the gym thread for saying much tamer things than this. :pac:

Did you report that? It's one of several questionable posts in this thread...

Duffy the Vampire Slayer

C&H has changed....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5wcLl13a8s

rorymcgrory

<Snip>

Grindylow

To be fair, it's a lot of non regulars that I've never seen.posting here who are saying the questionable stuff..

resistantdoor

kev9100 wrote: »

Sweet Jesus!! I can only imagine the awkwardness.......

And OP, why would you bring this to the internet?

So we can all make questionable jokes about it