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2012 & New Computer Viruses

  • 15-03-2011 11:02am
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,386 ✭✭✭


    It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in London.

    A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they
    haven't got tickets.

    The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and
    walks to the gate.

    "McTavish, Scotland " he says, "Discus" and in he walks.



    The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his
    shoulder.

    "Waddington-Smythe, England " he says, "Pole vault" and in he walks.




    The Irishman looks around and picks up a roll of barbed wire and
    tucks it under his arm.

    "O'Malley, Ireland ," he says, "Fencing".

    ___________________________________


    New Computer Viruses

    The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.

    The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.

    The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.

    The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.

    The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

    The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

    The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, then leaves, but will be back.

    The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

    The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 300 GB.

    The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.

    The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

    The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files

    The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy ... then discards it through Windows.

    =(:-) Me? I know who I am. I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude (-:)=



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