2012 & New Computer Viruses

MonkieSocks

It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in London.

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they
haven't got tickets.

The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and
walks to the gate.

"McTavish, Scotland " he says, "Discus" and in he walks.



The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his
shoulder.

"Waddington-Smythe, England " he says, "Pole vault" and in he walks.




The Irishman looks around and picks up a roll of barbed wire and
tucks it under his arm.

"O'Malley, Ireland ," he says, "Fencing".

___________________________________


New Computer Viruses

The George Bush Virus - Causes your computer to keep looking for viruses of mass destruction.

The John Kerry Virus - Stores data on both sides of the disk and causes little purple hearts to appear on screen.

The Clinton Virus - Gives you a permanent Hard Drive with NO memory.

The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting.

The Bob Dole Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.

The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did.

The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, then leaves, but will be back.

The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes.

The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 200 GB hard drive shrinks to 100 GB, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 300 GB.

The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted.

The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.

The Michael Jackson Virus - Only attacks minor files

The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy ... then discards it through Windows.